School...or...Drugs
I feel sick to my stomach right now. There is a hideous clawing and gnawing that makes me want to vomit out my insides. I don't feel well. There is a battle raging inside of me both physically and emotionally. I want to go lie down. I want to puke my guts out. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to see my friends. I don't want to take the statistics midterm that I have tomorrow. I don't want to go to my lecture today unprepared. I don't feel well enough to do anything. I haven't even studied for my midterm let alone finished my reading assignments for today's class. I am floundering. I am sinking deeper and deeper into a semester that I cannot keep up with. I don't feel good. I need to do well on this test tomorrow. I need to. Right now I am have B- in the stats class. I cannot afford to get a B-. I can't. I will be kicked out of Honors Society and I will not be accepted into a good PHD program. I need an A. An A- will be ok as well. I just cannot get a B-. I can't. So, since I have had no time to study, an offer has been placed upon my table. This offer is a major one. I am unsure who brought it to me. Something from a good place? Or is it a bad temptation? Someone told me that they were going to get something tonight and invited me to join. They said it would help me stay up and study for my test. Now this something is a little drug that I used to love to do. I used to study so well on it. However, I have not touched the drug for over a year. I have no desire to do it right now while I am in school, and probably never will touch it again. However, I have hardly any time left to study. So, this is a tempting proposition for me. And, I feel sick to my stomach about it.
I just cannot get a B-...