Less Than Ideal - Chapter 2
So I lied about having this chapter done. It was almost done, but I couldn't seem to concentrate enough to finish. So, as much as it broke my heart have to post another super-short chapter in which nothing happened, I only put a part of the chapter up... but that was yesterday! Today, I have the whole chapter. If the added bits seem unnaturally short, that's because I ended the chapter earlier than originally planned. It's a stylistic thing - this way I don't have to change viewpoints mid-chapter. If they also seem unnaturally rushed, well... I have no excuse for that.
Prologue is here, Chapter 1, here.
Warnings, etc, are the same as before. Most notably, this is post manga and will likely very shortly be proven AU. Also, I'm never going to finish this.
Summary (whole story): "Naruto is forced a lose-lose situation, where failure means death, enslavement, or, worst of all, being stuck in second place; success means taking away his partner's purpose in life." That's partner in the platonic sense, guys.
Summary(this chapter): The Hokage gets to the part with the plot.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Chapter 2 Start<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Konoha’s Fifth Hokage, the Sannin Tsunade, looked at the two ninja before her over folded hands, elbows propped securely against her over-sized desk. Kakashi had coolly excused himself only moments before, and while in some ways it made her job easier, she couldn’t help but curse the man for his cowardice. The news she was about to impart was heart-breaking for both of them, to say nothing of the two ninja involved; she resented his (implied) assertion that this was harder on him than on her. He can regard the Uchiha as son until Mist Village stops producing traitors, she thought. Naruto will always be my younger brother.
It was irritating, and on more than a personal level. Had this same situation come up only a few years before, when she was newer to her post, she’d never have gone along with it. Now, after countless meetings with the elder council, respectability had fastened itself to her like a harness; she felt obligated to plow ahead.
“We’re here to discuss your promotion to Jounin,” she said to both of them. She refused to look at her hands for this, forced herself to watch Naruto’s face as it brightened instead. “Your instructor has just given me a complete report of your mission this morning, and has awarded both of you full marks. Although he did caution you, Naruto, against future theatrics.”
It was a measure of Naruto’s happiness that his smile didn’t waver. She hated her job. “Other than that, he’s recommended both of you unconditionally for advancement to Jounin rank, with consideration for placement in the anbu squads.”
As expected, that was as far as she got before Naruto’s enthusiasm took hold. He flailed his arms wildly, upsetting the papers on her desk with the force of his exuberance.
“Yes! Finally Kakashi-sensei admitted my true greatness! And now, everyone in the village will know that Naruto Uzumaki is a success, definitely! From now on out, Hokage is only a matter of time!”
And so on. Tsunade only steepled her hands a bit more, and this time she did look away. Even Uchiha looked pleased, she noted, although she couldn’t imagine that the promotion itself meant much to him. Itachi had been a Jounin at 13, after all, and Sasuke had never seemed to care particularly for the opinions of the other villagers. Skills, not rank, were what mattered to him. Yet there he stood, a small secret smile on his face, regarding his partner’s antics with amused tolerance.
Now there’s an angle I didn’t consider, she thought, and felt her spirits sink still lower. Damn that coward for being right about this.
She really hated her job.
“Naruto, stop acting like and idiot before the Hokage changes her mind,” the Uchiha said.
“Stupid, the old lady can’t take this away from me!” Naruto told him. “I’ve earned this, I know I have!”
“Actually, Naruto, that’s exactly what I need to discuss with you,” Tsunade said. Look at him. Keep this professional. “Sasuke, you can pick up your certificate and gear at the Jounin office, or from my lazy secretary when he finally gets back.” Look at him. “I think it would be better if I discussed this with Naruto in private.”
Neither moved. Naruto looked shocked before he looked resigned, exactly as someone expecting disappointment would. “Does that mean I’m not going to be promoted?” he asked. He already knew the answer; Tsunade let her silence speak for her.
“No,” Uchiha said, out of the blue. “I won’t leave. I want to hear this.”
Naruto rallied. “Yeah, whatever you want to tell me you can tell him too. And it had better be good, hag!”
Automatic reaction: “I’m not a hag, shrimp. Are you sure?” Both nodded. “Very well, then. Naruto, your situation came up in discussion at the last meeting of the elder council. They’ve told me that they don’t want you put in a position of power, for… certain reasons none of us can help.” Naruto would understand that this was, as always, about the fox.
Uchiha, however, didn’t look confused or surprised, but only a little sick, and a lot angry. Interesting. I wonder if he knows? The symptoms certainly match. And if he does know, does Naruto know he knows? Judging from Naruto’s furtive glances, he didn’t. Interesting
“Of course, that in itself was not enough for me,” Tsunade said, “as I have faith in the Fourth, who was a student of an old acquaintance.” And I really wish that pervert were here now, she added silently. Actually, maybe she didn’t. “No, the official reason is that you’ve been reliant on Sasuke during missions, and that you have yet to prove your individual worth as a ninja. You must admit that you’ve never had a mission as a chuunin without him.”
“That’s pile of crap! I have never in my life been less than equal to Sasuke! There is no way that he gets to be promoted when I don’t! No way!” Naruto exploded. “You know why we’re always paired together!” Sasuke narrowed his eyes, a gesture she took to be agreement.
Yes, she did know. The reticent Uchiha, though still admired by many and pitied by all, was hard to get along with. And Chunin who didn’t know Naruto personally tended to underestimate him. As she understood it, the Genin team assignments had placed them together in hopes of eliminating two problems at once; it was more true now than it hard been then.
“Geeze, it’s called Teamwork, you old hag. Kakashi-sensei only pounded that into us a gazillion times. The first thing I’m gonna do when I’m the Hokage is fire those old geezers.” Naruto unknowingly echoed her thoughts.
I would never have gone along if it was just the elder council, she thought; there’d been pressure from most of the adult population of Konoha. The elders had actually joined her in urging for some kind of compromise, although she was far from happy with the final results. It’s acceptable only because they all expect it to fail, she though bitterly. What bothered Tsunade most was that she didn’t know whether she agreed with them. It was an insane plan, true, but Naruto was an insane person, and he’d need to something like this if he was ever going to prove himself. Perhaps she was simply falling back on old, over-protective habits. In the end she’d decided to let Naruto himself decide, although she was pretty sure she knew what he’d choose.
Naruto hadn’t finished. “If they want proof that I can do a mission on my own, then give me one. Anything you want, I don’t care. I’ll prove I can do it! Just watch!”
It was the perfect lead-in. “Anything?” Tsunade asked. If she steepled her fingers anymore they’d be vertical, as if in prayer. In some ways it was appropriate.
“Anything. I’m not going to be left behind.”
“They did suggest a compromise,” Tsunade said. “It will be an assassin’s mission. Are you still interested?” If there was even the slightest chance that Naruto would turn this down… she could take up the case with the council again, she knew, come up with another, less dangerous solution.
“Bring it on!” Naruto exclaimed. Tsunade almost laughed: she always had been a lousy gambler.
“In that case, I really will have to ask you to leave,” she said to Sasuke. He regarded her with suspicion. “This mission will be one of absolute secrecy.”
“An S-level mission?” Sasuke asked. Whether he knew or just suspected that the council considered this a suicide mission, he was obviously hoping to trip her up.
Tsunade refused to play along, reservations or not. “Yes, it is. As is every assassination. As you know. You should go - Shikamaru should be back by now.” Actually, she wasn’t so sure about that last part. Sasuke, though, left without further comment. Tsunade watched Naruto, who watched Sasuke until the door to her office closed behind him. When he turned back to look at her his eyes were not accusing, only determined.
She cleared her throat. How should she put this? It was a rather delicate situation, but…
“So who do I off?”
…she’d always favored the direct approach. So, she told him: “Uchiha Itachi.”
Naruto’s eyes widened and it was with a sudden, calculated understanding that she flung herself out of her chair and over the desk in a single motion, one hand coming to rest over his large mouth. His muffled yell still sounded a bit like “I-ahh-chii,” but was not, she was pleased to note, loud enough to carry past the heavily carved wooden doors of her office and out into the hallway. To Naruto she said, “Quiet, dummy. It’s a secret mission, remember?”
Sasuke’s still out there, she didn’t say. She liked to think, from the way his expression changed, that Naruto understood. He was uncharacteristically quiet. She removed her hand, wiped it absently against her thigh, did not return to her overturned chair but stood where she was. Naruto was taller than her, she noted with a bit of shock. Not by much, but…
“Alright?” she asked. It could have meant any number of things (Did I hurt you? Are you going to stay quiet? Is it OK that Sasuke doesn’t know? Do you still want to do the mission?) but whatever it was he thought she meant, Naruto nodded. And then, because he knew she knew that he was never quiet, he said, “Yup, definitely! You can count on me!” He was using his largest, most fake grin, she noted.
“In that case there’s a lot of stuff you’ll need to know, shrimp, and none of it’s written down so you had better listen up.” Missions involving assassination were rarely committed to paper, for obvious reasons. She suspected that Naruto would appreciate that, as he had never been an avid, or even passable, reader.
“For one, Itachi is your only target,” she explained. “You are allowed to kill others, as long as they’re criminals wanted in the Bingo book, but you shouldn’t if you don’t have to. We’d prefer it if you brought the bodies back with you, but if you can’t, you can’t. The elders do want at least the Uchiha’s eyes, though. For proof.” And if that’s not a morbid thought… Naruto looked like he was concentrating, or, rather, like he was trying to look like he was concentrating. She almost smiled.
“It doesn’t matter how you kill him, or who knows, but don’t let anyone know it was you if you can help it. In fact, you’ll be conducting this entire mission undercover, since Akatsuki is looking for you.” That, if anything, would be what tipped him off to just how unorthodox the entire situation was. She watched him carefully, not just his face but angle of his shoulders and the pulse at his jugular, but couldn’t see any change. Good. It’s better if he doesn’t suspect. “Any questions so far?”
“Yeah! If I’m going undercover, does it matter what I look like?”
“Nah, any disguise you want is fine. But try not to draw too much attention to yourself.” Fat chance of that, Tsunade thought, but she let it go. Naruto did know this wasn’t a game, whether he acted like it or not. He knew what he was doing. She had no choice, really, but to believe that: anything else would mean that she was about to send her “younger brother” to his death.
She took a deep breath. “You leave the day after tomorrow, in the morning. Show up at my office and I’ll tell you where you’re going and what to do when you get there. That means you have one day to pack whatever you think you’ll need for several weeks of wilderness travel; Shikamaru will reimburse your expenses.” It felt callous, somehow, to be speaking of money at a time like this. She thought about advising him to say his goodbyes before he left, couldn’t, settled for, “Leave out the details when you tell people.”
Tsunade liked to think that Naruto understood. He was still grinning when he left her office.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>End Chapter 2<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
I think I need motivation - boredom works well, but then again, I'm a naturally lazy person. In case you're interested, Tsunade was pretty easy to write. Well, this Tsunade was - you may have noticed that she doesn't have a whole lot in common with the real one. From easiest to hardest, I'd put the order at
Tsunade ---> Naruto ---> Sakura ---> Sasuke, although I expect that Jiraiya, when he shows up, will be the new hardest.
EDIT: AANNNDDD someone stole the gas out of my tank. Lovely neighborhood we have here, right V? That's what I get for parking the car out on the street. In my defense, gas prices are high, but they're not that high. The last time this happened I was with the family in Macedonia, and they were rationing.
Prologue is here, Chapter 1, here.
Warnings, etc, are the same as before. Most notably, this is post manga and will likely very shortly be proven AU. Also, I'm never going to finish this.
Summary (whole story): "Naruto is forced a lose-lose situation, where failure means death, enslavement, or, worst of all, being stuck in second place; success means taking away his partner's purpose in life." That's partner in the platonic sense, guys.
Summary(this chapter): The Hokage gets to the part with the plot.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Chapter 2 Start<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Konoha’s Fifth Hokage, the Sannin Tsunade, looked at the two ninja before her over folded hands, elbows propped securely against her over-sized desk. Kakashi had coolly excused himself only moments before, and while in some ways it made her job easier, she couldn’t help but curse the man for his cowardice. The news she was about to impart was heart-breaking for both of them, to say nothing of the two ninja involved; she resented his (implied) assertion that this was harder on him than on her. He can regard the Uchiha as son until Mist Village stops producing traitors, she thought. Naruto will always be my younger brother.
It was irritating, and on more than a personal level. Had this same situation come up only a few years before, when she was newer to her post, she’d never have gone along with it. Now, after countless meetings with the elder council, respectability had fastened itself to her like a harness; she felt obligated to plow ahead.
“We’re here to discuss your promotion to Jounin,” she said to both of them. She refused to look at her hands for this, forced herself to watch Naruto’s face as it brightened instead. “Your instructor has just given me a complete report of your mission this morning, and has awarded both of you full marks. Although he did caution you, Naruto, against future theatrics.”
It was a measure of Naruto’s happiness that his smile didn’t waver. She hated her job. “Other than that, he’s recommended both of you unconditionally for advancement to Jounin rank, with consideration for placement in the anbu squads.”
As expected, that was as far as she got before Naruto’s enthusiasm took hold. He flailed his arms wildly, upsetting the papers on her desk with the force of his exuberance.
“Yes! Finally Kakashi-sensei admitted my true greatness! And now, everyone in the village will know that Naruto Uzumaki is a success, definitely! From now on out, Hokage is only a matter of time!”
And so on. Tsunade only steepled her hands a bit more, and this time she did look away. Even Uchiha looked pleased, she noted, although she couldn’t imagine that the promotion itself meant much to him. Itachi had been a Jounin at 13, after all, and Sasuke had never seemed to care particularly for the opinions of the other villagers. Skills, not rank, were what mattered to him. Yet there he stood, a small secret smile on his face, regarding his partner’s antics with amused tolerance.
Now there’s an angle I didn’t consider, she thought, and felt her spirits sink still lower. Damn that coward for being right about this.
She really hated her job.
“Naruto, stop acting like and idiot before the Hokage changes her mind,” the Uchiha said.
“Stupid, the old lady can’t take this away from me!” Naruto told him. “I’ve earned this, I know I have!”
“Actually, Naruto, that’s exactly what I need to discuss with you,” Tsunade said. Look at him. Keep this professional. “Sasuke, you can pick up your certificate and gear at the Jounin office, or from my lazy secretary when he finally gets back.” Look at him. “I think it would be better if I discussed this with Naruto in private.”
Neither moved. Naruto looked shocked before he looked resigned, exactly as someone expecting disappointment would. “Does that mean I’m not going to be promoted?” he asked. He already knew the answer; Tsunade let her silence speak for her.
“No,” Uchiha said, out of the blue. “I won’t leave. I want to hear this.”
Naruto rallied. “Yeah, whatever you want to tell me you can tell him too. And it had better be good, hag!”
Automatic reaction: “I’m not a hag, shrimp. Are you sure?” Both nodded. “Very well, then. Naruto, your situation came up in discussion at the last meeting of the elder council. They’ve told me that they don’t want you put in a position of power, for… certain reasons none of us can help.” Naruto would understand that this was, as always, about the fox.
Uchiha, however, didn’t look confused or surprised, but only a little sick, and a lot angry. Interesting. I wonder if he knows? The symptoms certainly match. And if he does know, does Naruto know he knows? Judging from Naruto’s furtive glances, he didn’t. Interesting
“Of course, that in itself was not enough for me,” Tsunade said, “as I have faith in the Fourth, who was a student of an old acquaintance.” And I really wish that pervert were here now, she added silently. Actually, maybe she didn’t. “No, the official reason is that you’ve been reliant on Sasuke during missions, and that you have yet to prove your individual worth as a ninja. You must admit that you’ve never had a mission as a chuunin without him.”
“That’s pile of crap! I have never in my life been less than equal to Sasuke! There is no way that he gets to be promoted when I don’t! No way!” Naruto exploded. “You know why we’re always paired together!” Sasuke narrowed his eyes, a gesture she took to be agreement.
Yes, she did know. The reticent Uchiha, though still admired by many and pitied by all, was hard to get along with. And Chunin who didn’t know Naruto personally tended to underestimate him. As she understood it, the Genin team assignments had placed them together in hopes of eliminating two problems at once; it was more true now than it hard been then.
“Geeze, it’s called Teamwork, you old hag. Kakashi-sensei only pounded that into us a gazillion times. The first thing I’m gonna do when I’m the Hokage is fire those old geezers.” Naruto unknowingly echoed her thoughts.
I would never have gone along if it was just the elder council, she thought; there’d been pressure from most of the adult population of Konoha. The elders had actually joined her in urging for some kind of compromise, although she was far from happy with the final results. It’s acceptable only because they all expect it to fail, she though bitterly. What bothered Tsunade most was that she didn’t know whether she agreed with them. It was an insane plan, true, but Naruto was an insane person, and he’d need to something like this if he was ever going to prove himself. Perhaps she was simply falling back on old, over-protective habits. In the end she’d decided to let Naruto himself decide, although she was pretty sure she knew what he’d choose.
Naruto hadn’t finished. “If they want proof that I can do a mission on my own, then give me one. Anything you want, I don’t care. I’ll prove I can do it! Just watch!”
It was the perfect lead-in. “Anything?” Tsunade asked. If she steepled her fingers anymore they’d be vertical, as if in prayer. In some ways it was appropriate.
“Anything. I’m not going to be left behind.”
“They did suggest a compromise,” Tsunade said. “It will be an assassin’s mission. Are you still interested?” If there was even the slightest chance that Naruto would turn this down… she could take up the case with the council again, she knew, come up with another, less dangerous solution.
“Bring it on!” Naruto exclaimed. Tsunade almost laughed: she always had been a lousy gambler.
“In that case, I really will have to ask you to leave,” she said to Sasuke. He regarded her with suspicion. “This mission will be one of absolute secrecy.”
“An S-level mission?” Sasuke asked. Whether he knew or just suspected that the council considered this a suicide mission, he was obviously hoping to trip her up.
Tsunade refused to play along, reservations or not. “Yes, it is. As is every assassination. As you know. You should go - Shikamaru should be back by now.” Actually, she wasn’t so sure about that last part. Sasuke, though, left without further comment. Tsunade watched Naruto, who watched Sasuke until the door to her office closed behind him. When he turned back to look at her his eyes were not accusing, only determined.
She cleared her throat. How should she put this? It was a rather delicate situation, but…
“So who do I off?”
…she’d always favored the direct approach. So, she told him: “Uchiha Itachi.”
Naruto’s eyes widened and it was with a sudden, calculated understanding that she flung herself out of her chair and over the desk in a single motion, one hand coming to rest over his large mouth. His muffled yell still sounded a bit like “I-ahh-chii,” but was not, she was pleased to note, loud enough to carry past the heavily carved wooden doors of her office and out into the hallway. To Naruto she said, “Quiet, dummy. It’s a secret mission, remember?”
Sasuke’s still out there, she didn’t say. She liked to think, from the way his expression changed, that Naruto understood. He was uncharacteristically quiet. She removed her hand, wiped it absently against her thigh, did not return to her overturned chair but stood where she was. Naruto was taller than her, she noted with a bit of shock. Not by much, but…
“Alright?” she asked. It could have meant any number of things (Did I hurt you? Are you going to stay quiet? Is it OK that Sasuke doesn’t know? Do you still want to do the mission?) but whatever it was he thought she meant, Naruto nodded. And then, because he knew she knew that he was never quiet, he said, “Yup, definitely! You can count on me!” He was using his largest, most fake grin, she noted.
“In that case there’s a lot of stuff you’ll need to know, shrimp, and none of it’s written down so you had better listen up.” Missions involving assassination were rarely committed to paper, for obvious reasons. She suspected that Naruto would appreciate that, as he had never been an avid, or even passable, reader.
“For one, Itachi is your only target,” she explained. “You are allowed to kill others, as long as they’re criminals wanted in the Bingo book, but you shouldn’t if you don’t have to. We’d prefer it if you brought the bodies back with you, but if you can’t, you can’t. The elders do want at least the Uchiha’s eyes, though. For proof.” And if that’s not a morbid thought… Naruto looked like he was concentrating, or, rather, like he was trying to look like he was concentrating. She almost smiled.
“It doesn’t matter how you kill him, or who knows, but don’t let anyone know it was you if you can help it. In fact, you’ll be conducting this entire mission undercover, since Akatsuki is looking for you.” That, if anything, would be what tipped him off to just how unorthodox the entire situation was. She watched him carefully, not just his face but angle of his shoulders and the pulse at his jugular, but couldn’t see any change. Good. It’s better if he doesn’t suspect. “Any questions so far?”
“Yeah! If I’m going undercover, does it matter what I look like?”
“Nah, any disguise you want is fine. But try not to draw too much attention to yourself.” Fat chance of that, Tsunade thought, but she let it go. Naruto did know this wasn’t a game, whether he acted like it or not. He knew what he was doing. She had no choice, really, but to believe that: anything else would mean that she was about to send her “younger brother” to his death.
She took a deep breath. “You leave the day after tomorrow, in the morning. Show up at my office and I’ll tell you where you’re going and what to do when you get there. That means you have one day to pack whatever you think you’ll need for several weeks of wilderness travel; Shikamaru will reimburse your expenses.” It felt callous, somehow, to be speaking of money at a time like this. She thought about advising him to say his goodbyes before he left, couldn’t, settled for, “Leave out the details when you tell people.”
Tsunade liked to think that Naruto understood. He was still grinning when he left her office.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>End Chapter 2<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
I think I need motivation - boredom works well, but then again, I'm a naturally lazy person. In case you're interested, Tsunade was pretty easy to write. Well, this Tsunade was - you may have noticed that she doesn't have a whole lot in common with the real one. From easiest to hardest, I'd put the order at
Tsunade ---> Naruto ---> Sakura ---> Sasuke, although I expect that Jiraiya, when he shows up, will be the new hardest.
EDIT: AANNNDDD someone stole the gas out of my tank. Lovely neighborhood we have here, right V? That's what I get for parking the car out on the street. In my defense, gas prices are high, but they're not that high. The last time this happened I was with the family in Macedonia, and they were rationing.