(Untitled)

[sub__rosa]

The girl with the shaved head died on the 15th; I don’t know how, I don’t know why. I’m trying hard to resist my gut feeling, that she died of an overdose because I really don’t know her that well. Dear Katie Ganja, I want to believe that it was something else. You were nice. (Edit: she didn’t, she didn’t

Comments

[thedr_is_in]

I remember her.
Though I can say with quite a bit of certainty that she was too wrapped up in her, as you said, "perplexing sadness" to even now that I noticed her.
I am sorry for your loss of an ideal.
I hope things are ok for you.

[sub__rosa]

Things are indeed okay.

I hope you are well as well.

! you are still like one of my favorites.

[lavlovbunny]

I can agree with whoever previously posted that they are sorry for your "loss of an ideal."

It perpetually intrigues me, this group of people with whom I used to commiserate. Each person had something destroying them, whether it be tweak, heroin, guilt, depression, sex, or the idea of getting older.
Sometimes the combination.

Brittany was my friend from 7th grade on. She was so different but not in a way that screams "look at me I'm trying so hard," it was "I'm beautiful and intelligent and vunerable." I often found that I fell back on Brittany and her then best friend-Emily Quinn, who I know you know. They, together, represented these ideals that I always admired and wanted to follow. They seemed free from their surroundings

[sub__rosa]

I've searched for her several times on google and you
can see what classes she has completed in Scientology
Trainings. It's sad because I never called her by Reagan
even after she told me to call her that. She stopped asking
me to after awhile and I could tell that she had a weird
twinge of regret, like she knew she wasn't being accountable
for something. Hopefully someday she will be able to.

The way you say that Brittani reacted to Steve makes a lot of
sense. "that boy is pretty"

[lavlovbunny]

Exactly. That strange twinge of regret. Just like the odd shameful seeming information that she was dating Steve. It's that same thing.

Doesn't it make sense?

I looked her up after typing my response to you and viewed the classes she had taken.

I don't care if she's scientologist.
I don't care if she's Reagen.

I just wanted her to be Brittany.

[aesthetik_dekay]

I just recently read all the letters she sent me from when she was staying with those scientologists. Part of me still thinks scientology isnt really what she wanted to be involved with, but...it is brainwash, and with hardcore scientologist parents it is hard to get out before its too late.

I still think of her often as well.

"Each person had something destroying them, whether it be tweak, heroin, guilt, depression, sex, or the idea of getting older." God...how clearly you saw it all.

[passthespection]

i didn't know you knew katie

[sub__rosa]

Yeah. weird, huh?

I'm going to do another update tomorrow about her. I just got photos developed and I think I have some more to say about my experience of her.

Were you ever close with her?

[passthespection]

not really. i was friends with those kids such as sean b gone. i remember when i was like 15, my friend bryan and i had a club called the "he-man woman haters" and this guy hunter hancock wanted to prove himself and join our club so he broke up with katie. she was friends with bryan, i think you know him. i feel like katie is the one who got bryan into heroin, because she pretty much is. and i really dislike being around heroin addicts so bryan and i never really hang out much anymore. it's kinda nutty because we were best friends. i was thinking the same thing as you when a heard so was in a coma,and the same thing when i found out she was dead. a while ago ari tallen used to have some chill parties at his apartments every weekend, and she would usually be there. those were the fun

[aesthetik_dekay]

Brittany got married.

I remember when Katie told me about this date. We were on the phone and she said "he's going to take me to eat etheopian food"
i said "uh wait"
and she said "...do etheopians eat?"

when i went to see her in the hospital, her lips were so chapped. I carefully put chapstick on them. Her thin-ness together with her lips always reminded me of Angelina Jolie. I dont know if youve ever seen Gia or Girl, Interrupted - but if you mix both end scenes, where she is dying of AIDS in one, and the other she is strapped to the bed in an asylum and Winona Ryder is painting her fingernails - that is what Katie looked like the last time I ever saw her, in the hospital.

Brittany is also in that group picture of all of us, our group. but she has short black hair I think. and Steve is both Katie & Brittanys ex. Also, Brittany got her self addicted to speed, Steve only introduced her to it.

and Im 90% sure that shirt (my favorite of hers, ever) was light blue.

[aesthetik_dekay]

posted this before i read comments and didnt see katie already said the thing about brittany's marriage.