Filtered to Spectre

[suave_thomas]

As much as I hate the shite I went through at the end of my second life, I have to say some of the knowledge came in handy. Eating, even though I don't feel hunger, still makes the pull less. Like the energy which would go nowhere, goes to fighting it. So, once again, I am eating like a machine. It's going okay

Comments

[in_spectre_mors]

I love you too, Thomas. I'm glad you've found a way to make the pain less. That brings me some comfort, though I wish you didn't have to suffer it at all.

Poor Stephie and Scarlett... I feel for you all so. You all have my love.

I never did sleep with a woman. I always knew I wasn't interested. I didn't need to try it to confirm that. I just knew. Sacrifice tried to seduce me quite a few times. I'm sure it was just for the ego trip of saying she turned the gay man. But I certainly got the last laugh there...

I don't think it's time for Samson to find out about Marie and James yet, either. As you said, time enough for that after he sees the Beyond. Then we'll see how things go. I'm not willing to take the slightest risk with our kids. Not for anything.

[suave_thomas]

I'm not suffering. I'm in denial. Tot-al denial. It's way healthier. :|

And we love you.

You certainly did. And I always thought that was the case, I just never asked. I guess I didn't need to! I just knew, like you did. I like that you knew who you were. Even if you were afraid to show it. That takes real strength.

Neither am I. Good. I was hoping you wouldn't think I was being paranoid. I just don't want him to know. I remember what you said about him talking about wanting grandkids even when you were really young and I can't help but wonder for what.

[in_spectre_mors]

Oh, my love... I wish there were more I could do to help...

Thank you, my darling. I didn't always feel strong, but you're right. I had a pretty good idea of who I was. It was just a matter of actually being that person.

Unfortunately, I never did feel I had to wonder. I don't think you're being paranoid. We're just being safe.

[suave_thomas]

It's alright, Honey. I'm starting to realise I'm acting like a fruitcake. Sometimes all it takes is time. And, as I seem to be stuck, time I have. I don't want to stop acting like a fruitcake yet, but I can see it for what it is.

You're that person now. And that person is the man I love. Thank everything for you.

Yeah. God, yeah. Safe is right. He's working towards being better, but nothing changes overnight.

[in_spectre_mors]

I'm glad you see, Thomas. It's not as though there's anything that isn't completely understandable about what you're feeling and doing. I'm sure I'd be there, too. I just hate it when you suffer, physically or emotionally. But of course, time is something no one would deny you. If it will help you, you can certainly take as much of that as you need.

And I love you, Thomas. I couldn't have become so true to myself without your help.

Absolutely. I feel that I can have faith in my father, faith that he will eventually be someone who I'm okay with knowing our kids. But he hasn't gotten there yet.

[suave_thomas]

I know it's understandable. Almost predictable. But I can't stop. Not yet. And, Babe? I am so sorry I just changed the topic on you and ended the conversation the other day. I wasn't ready to hear I was having issues. I am now. I'm still sorry.

I was glad to help. As a friend, as your lover, now as your husband, I will always be that. Glad to help.

No. Being with you is so easy. I trust you. I trust your opinions and the way you approach parenting. I trust your decisions and I love you. So damn simple.

[in_spectre_mors]

It's all right, Thomas. I knew it wasn't an indictment against me. You have every right to take your own time with this, and if you're not ready to talk about something, I'm hardly going to make you. But I am very glad you're ready to talk about it now, because that means we can work on things. And I'm willing to do that for as long as it takes, too.

And I will always be glad to help you in every capacity I can, my love.

Those are some of the best things I could ever possibly hear from you. And the sentiments are mutually felt. I know I need never be worried for the safety or well-being of our children when they're with you. Or Mary, for that matter. That's one of the best blessings I could possibly imagine. And of course, I love you too.

[suave_thomas]

You're wonderful.

And again I say...you're wonderful.

It really is, isn't it? You're both exactly who I was meant to be with. I love that.

[in_spectre_mors]

Thank you kindly, good sir!

I love it too, my Thomas. I love that you get to have such a complete life of loves.