Hands as Words [Chapter 7]
Title: Hands as words
Author:su_ede
Pairing: Matsumoto Jun x OC
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU - Romance
Disclaimer: I don't own Arashi...or maybe I do, who knows?
Summary: Shizuka is deaf. Jun's strongest point is his ability to talk.
She starts working in his building, just when he was thinking about giving up in the romance field.
The important thing is that they are both curious about each other. There is time to learn how to communicate.
Shizuka was finishing redacting a presentation sitting at Jun´s living room. After a light meal, that Jun cooked for her and tasted like heaven, she went back to work and Jun washed the dishes. Music was playing in the stereo, she couldn’t hear it but she saw how Jun moved his head with the rhythm and muttered the lyrics of the song. He even washed the dishes with grace, Shizuka thought. The way he stand, relaxed, with his hips to the side, and even the way his arms moved. Everything was very harmonious somehow. Or she just liked him too much.
Suddenly her phone vibrate inside her pocket [You are staring] She welcomed the blush of her cheeks [I am, with all the right] She saw Jun giggle as he read her answer [Should I wear an apron with nothing but my underwear on]. Her mind immediately create that image and she liked it very much [That would be perfection itself]. Jun walked to her, with wide steps and a wider smile on his face and grabbed Shizuka’s head with her cold wet hands making her jolt in surprise, trying to release herself from his grip. With the struggle, Jun fell full weight on top of her, both bursting in laughter, feeling young and stupid again.
Jun brushed her chin with his nose, and sank a cold hand under her t-shirt, trying to warm them up “I feel used Jun” She felt him giggle, moving his hands away, still resting them against her, but with a thick layer of fabric in between. They stayed like that for a long while. Jun resting on top of her, his face against her chest and Shizuka playing with some locks of his hair. Jun was starting to doze off when Shizuka called his attention by pulling the sleeve of his sweater, an old habit already. Jun raised from his resting position, giving her his attention. She took some time, deciding how to tell this to Jun.
Voice, signs or writing.
Jun saw the doubt on her face, so with some worry, he handed her the notepad. She started writing. After a minute, the notepad was given to him [Come to my parents’ house this weekend, they want to meet you] Shizuka was expecting a scared reaction, maybe a frown followed by a flimsy excuse, but of course, nothing like that happened. Instead, Jun smiled and answered with a simple sign - It will be my pleasure -
**
They arranged to meet at her place. And when Jun arrived, with a leather jacket and warm clothes, as she commanded, he was surprised to find her also covered in a leather jacket, resting against a motorcycle - Is this yours?- He said before kissing her hello, with a funny stare on his eyes - It is, I drive it only on weekends though -
- How I didn’t know about this? -
- I had her on the mechanic, maintenance - Jun laughed, and passed an appreciative hand against the black metal of the motorcycle. It looked tough. It wasn’t an innocent Vespa, it was something close to a Harley Davidson, big, scary and sexy. Shizuka handed him a helmet, got on top of her vehicle and invited Jun to seat behind her. Jun jumped on merrily. Hugging her tightly from behind. How Shizuka could surprise him almost twice a week was still one of his favorite’s things.
They rode the bike for at least 30 minutes. Shizuka’s parents lived in a calm neighborhood close to Jun’s old high school. Shizuka told him she moved there when she was 15, and yet, they never met before.
The house was at the end of the street, two cats were resting at the door and they didn’t move an ear when Shizuka parked two meters away from them. Jun took of his helmet and helped Shizuka´s with hers. “We are here” Jun kissed her cold cheek and jump off the motorcycle with grace. - You´re not nervous?-
- Not a bit, I’m great with parents - Shizuka rolled her eyes and graved Jun’s hands pulling him with her in to the entrance of the house. The two cat’s looked at him and he asked about their names “Melon and Peach, my mom’s and dad’s favorite fruits” Jun found that rather amusing. Shizuka pressed the door bell and immediately someone opened the door, her mom “Cutie!!! Welcome home” Shizuka’s mom was a small woman, a bit overweight, adorable in Jun’s eyes. She hold her daughter face, caressing her cheeks and smiling widely at her. No words. Then she looked at Jun, with the same smile “Matsumoto-kun, welcome to our house, thank you for taking care of our Shizuka” Jun already liked his mother in law “Thank you for having me, I really wanted to meet Shizuka’s parents” Her mom looked at him surprised, Jun wondered why, then he realized he answered her with his voice, and gestures. He looked at Shizuka, and she was smiling at her mom proudly “Well…I’m glad you are finally here, come in, lunch is almost ready” Jun followed her obediently, already feeling at home. Shizuka shook her head in disbelieve, he was really something.
Inside the kitchen, stirring the miso soup Jun met Shizuka’s dad. A tall man, with glasses and white hair. He cleaned his hands against the pink apron he was wearing and shook Jun’s hand, giving him a smile. Then he move to hug his daughter, asking her how the drive was. Shizuka started gesturing, a bit nervous - Mom, Dad this is Jun, my boyfriend, that’s why I asked both of you to please not embarrass me - The three of them laugh, except Shizuka - Cutie, of course we are going to embarrass you, but not too much - the three of them laughed again, and Shizuka rolled her eyes for the second time. Shizuka’s dad asked her a ride to the closest konbini to buy some ingredients they were missing. Shizuka looked at Jun with worrying eyes - I’ll be alright, I told you I’m good with parents - Third roll of her eyes.
Once Shizuka was out, her mom grabbed Jun’s arm and pulled him outside the kitchen “Let me show you our house dear” Jun followed with a smile, happy that apparently, her mom liked him. She showed him around, the rooms, the pictures hanging in the walls, Shizuka’s awards, every single word she said about her daughter was covered with proudness. They came back to the kitchen and Jun helped her with the cooking, as the good son in law he was “Matsumoto-kun, was it hard to make Shizuka notice you?”
“A bit, well, not really, we were walking the same path somehow, but slowly, I guess you already know the entire story”
“Of course, very romantic, I must say”
“I guess” They both laughed, and Jun felt completely accepted. “Matsumoto-kun, I know it could be hard sometimes, but try to hang in there”
“Hard? What, Shizuka’s deafness?” Her mom nodded, looking worried “It’s not, not at all, mostly because she doesn’t sees her condition as a problem, and we communicate well, and Shizuka is great, she’s perfect…and for you, it must have been hard”
“Not as hard as it was for her…more than a hard time with her situation, my husband and I battled with guilt, you see, we didn’t realize Shizuka was death until she turn 2 years, we were worried because she never made a noise, and she didn’t seem to react to loud noises, we took her to the doctor, they did some exams, and she was diagnoses with bilateral severe hearing loss, we didn’t have money for an implant, the only thing we could do was to take her to a special school, and start with therapy early…she did her best…and you see how she turned out…but the guilt is there always…I could have done something more for my daughter…but those were hard times” Jun patted her shoulder, giving her support “Shizuka is very grateful for everything you and your husband did, I’m sure you two know that”
“We know…but still, for your daughter you can’t never do enough” Jun gave her an understanding smile. He could say the same, for your girlfriend, you can never do enough. “So! You studied a couple of blocks away from here?” Shizuka’s mom asked, changing the subject, Jun nodded enthusiasm “I can’t believe I studied two blocks away from here, for eight years, and I never met her”
“It wasn’t the time” Jun stared at her with amazement, she was right, so right “True, it wasn’t the right time yet” Jun remembered the Jun of his teenage years, and yeah, that Jun wouldn’t have appreciate Shizuka as he did now.
#
Jun called his sister that Monday during lunch. She was her confident most of the time. And that fabulous weekend with Shizuka’s parents leaved him with a doubt. A doubt that his sister could help him sort out “Should I introduce Shizuka to mom and dad?”
“Why you haven’t introduce her to me?”
“Because we have been busy, enjoying ourselves…not thinking about relatives” His sister made a disgruntled sound, making Jun laugh “Agh, love, disgusting, but being serious…I don’t know…I don’t think mom and dad are ready for a girlfriend that is different”
“But is not like she has a tattoo on her face”
“No, is worst, she is different, she has a disability, and close minded as they are, they are going to hate her…I know it sounds horrible, but it is the truth…be careful, for her” Jun understood it. But it was still hard.
#
- Shizuka, I have to tell you something - Shizuka already knew there was something. She could read it in Jun’s face, whose eyebrows refused to relax since they met that Friday after work.
Jun had thought about it during the week. Invite Shizuka or not to his parents’ house. His relationship with them wasn’t very good. Polite maybe, but not close. Mostly because they weren’t close to him. That’s why his closest family was his only sister. But for some reason, he felt as if he needed to introduce her to his parents. Not for him, not for them, but for Shizuka.
He wasn’t hiding her. He loved her, and he wanted to show her. So he finally decided to take her to his parent’s house. - Are you sure Jun, you don’t seem
very sure -
- Is not that, I’m scared for you - Jun explained her his situation, or rather his parent’s situation. Shizuka felt bad for him, not for what could happen to her, so she accepted. Under her own responsibility. Based on what Jun said, his parents weren’t has hers. But she was a strong girl - I will go -
- Really?-
- Yeah, I want to meet your parents - Jun suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline. Or fear. Why parents had to be such an embarrassing existence sometimes?.
**
Jun’s parents had just move in to a mansion close to the downtown, an expansive place they rented, wasting their pension. As soon as Jun and Shizuka arrived, he could feel Shizuka’s body shiver next to him - We can leave now if you want - He offered, but she only laughed and pulled him in. Jun had warn his parents that Shizuka was special, a surprise attack wasn’t an option. He didn’t told them that she was deaf, but they shouldn’t worried because she knew how to communicate.
Jun didn’t know what they thought Shizuka had, or was, because the relieve in their faces was so obvious that it embarrassed him.
But that relieve didn’t last long.
Awkward was the only word that could describe the entire soiree. They spoke to her, fast and barely looking at her, so it was hard for Shizuka to read their lips, Jun had to interpret almost everything for her. And each time she talked, they made such an obvious face of displeasure that Jun wanted to grab her and leave that place. It was disgusting.
Shizuka remained stoic, smiling and saying nothing but polite words, but Jun could tell that the indifference was killing her. He knew her well.
Jun skipped dessert saying that he had a head ache. He and Shizuka exchanged a meaningful stare. She knew he was lying, and she knew why.
She felt quite grateful.
She did her best to adapt to Jun’s parents. To ignore their hurtful indifference and displeasure. But it was too hard. Because they weren’t some strangers. They were Jun’s parents. His family.
But at the same time, she was in love with Jun. Not with them. So she decided to not give it more importance than it had.
But the pain was there.
Jun grabbed her hand when they walk outside the department and didn’t release her until they reached her place. The ride home was quiet. Shizuka didn’t feel like talking. And Jun was still full of rage and worry. He wasn’t planning on leaving her alone. He feared that maybe solitude could made her think useless things.
Jun prepared her a cup of tea, and sat next to her in the bed, facing her - Talk to me - He gestured. She looked down at her hands a bit sad, took a deep breath and leaved the cup of tea in the night stand - I have experience rejection several times before, but for some reason this one hurt much more -
- I know, I'm so sorry, come here - Jun regret it. Taking her to his parents have brought her pain, and that was the last thing he wanted to cause her. But at the same time, it was necessary. Shizuka meant too much to him, and they had to know it. He pulled her closer to his chest, and caressed her head until she fell asleep.
Before accompanied her in her dreams, he texted his parents. [Tomorrow I will go there after work, we need to talk]. They didn’t answer him, but he knew they read it.
The next day, Jun leaved work an hour early and went visit his parents. For the second time in a week. That was new.
His mother tried to act as if nothing happened, offering him food and a coffee. Jun rejected the offer and called them to the living room.
Jun never revealed to his parents. He was a good kid. He knew it was useless to rise his voice. His parents never heard him or his sister. They were scared of fighting, of debate, and Jun didn’t want to fight a one sided battle.
But the battle he was about to face needed to be fought. “I want to talk about how you two behave yesterday with Shizuka”
“Jun, try to understand us”
“Me! Understand you two?...Let’s try to understand Shizuka’s situation a little bit. I told you two that if you talked to her, it had to be slow and looking at her, but you two just forgot about it and decide to talk looking at the floor, and I don’t want to even remember the faces you made the few times she spoke”
“Jun, you can’t be serious, you can’t be dating a girl like her” Jun raised his voice in front of his parents for the first time "I can’t believe you are saying that!"
"Jun, she is deaf!!"
"God! So what?! You’re saying it as if she was sick! And you know what? Even if she was sick, I love her, I love that woman, and I'm going to marry her at some point” His dad stood up in exaltation. “Jun!”
“So either you accept her or you accept her, you two don’t have an option, I refuse to fight about this more than necessary, and I’m not going to turn my back to you two... That would destroy her” They looked a bit taken aback. Jun saw it as the end of the debate. He started to gather is things, and was about to leave when his mom spoke “What if you two have a deaf kid?” Jun turn around, unmoved, and with a calm tone answered with the truth “We will love that kid more than we should” His parents had nothing to say about that apparently. Jun opened the door and left.
He wasn’t planning on distant himself more than he already was from his parents. He had said it clear. His relationship with Shizuka wasn’t going to be a breaking point between him and his parents.
They will accepted her.
Not second option.
[Shizuka, I will drop at your place, I need to see you] he had texted her, getting a positive answer.
The trip from his parent’s house gave him some time to think, and that thinking made him feel depressed. Not for him or his parents, but for Shizuka. How many times did she face people with the same way of thinking that his parents? How many ignorant people she had to face and how much did that hurt her?
He was just getting to know her, he realized, there was a past that he didn’t quite get yet, and that matter made him feel sure about his decision.
He would stick to her, because he had yet so much to learn from her.
And so much to love.