what a world (steam let off)
first i would like to say i love you all. for those who i am not talking to you can just not read this if you dont want to. just to lets you know i am just letting off a little steam and rambling a lot. might make some people mad or upset with me for a while. right now i dont care. what is it with me. anybody know. i hate feeling like this
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To Dani: You are my friend and I love you to death. I'm sorry. I didn't want to like him in the first place simply because I knew you liked him. So I tried really hard, but I couldn't help it. Spending time with him, well, it just is nice and comfortable and I can't really explain feelings in words, I'm not good with that. BUT, I don't want you to hurt. I don't want a guy, no matter who, to come between friends. I've seen what that can do and I don't want that to happen. BESIDES THAT, he doesn't even like me. I hate to be the one to say I told you so, but I TOLD YOU SO. What in the world is this "the look" thing? I told you I got no look.... Silly. Anyways, I love you, and I TOLD YOU SO. So.....poop on you.(J/K about the pooping)
To Korey: I don't know why I like you. I just do. I can't explain it. I'm just comfortable around you, and I haven't been that comfortable w/ someone in a long time and I guess, I don't know. I guess it just made me feel good, and I haven't felt good in a while. So, I don't know. I like spending time with you, and we have fun together. So, I don't know, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for kissing you, it was stupid. I don't even know why I did. I knew it was unexpected and weird. It was just a feeling I had, and I didn't want to live with a "what if" feeling, because I knew I'd regret it if I didn't. And as stupid as I feel and look, I don't regret it. I've done the whole "what if" thing way too many times and I don't want to be that way anymore, so I took a chance, and it was one that I was willing to take, no matter how it turned out. That took a lot of guts for me to do, Suzi can tell you, I'm not usually open about it. She's seen me when I like someone, I'm shy, I pull away from people. So that wasn't really what I'd do. In fact, that's the first time I've ever done that. *Revelation* Wow... Anyways... Maybe it didn't turn out how I want it, but I'm glad I took the risk. Because you can't live life never taking any risks, it's just not exciting and it's not fulfilling. That's the lesson from this year that I've learned. Life is worth taking risks for. You never know how things will turn out, and whether you get hurt or not, you can't worry about the way it'll turn out, you just have to live in the moment sometimes. I wished you had said that you liked someone else when I told you to be honest w/ me. You kinda left that part out. It would've made a difference. A BIG difference. ANYWAYS, I don't want things to be weird w/ us because of that. It's not the first time and won't be the last time that I've felt stupid over a guy. So I'm not and I don't want it to become some big deal. I hate drama and I don't want this stupid ordeal to mess things up. I want for us all to be friends...that's the most important thing. So please call me and let's talk. Cuz I hate doing things over computers. It's dumb.
TO EVERYONE ELSE INVOLVED:This is confusing, and I don't know what to say... but if someone figures out what in the worlds going on.. please lemme know, cuz i'm losing, what little is left, of my mind by thinking WAAAY to much about this. And someone who knows what "the look" is... PLEASE tell me. Cuz I don't know what it is. And Danielle talks about it, and who knows what Josh was saying when he was talking... UGHH... Life is WAY to Complicated.
SN is lilangelface0512 Email... @indy.rr.com
Someone lemme know...
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