you know this is long so get over it
things have been going very well. last week i started working with diana bellgowan, architect. it's an awesome opportunity. here i spent all of this time going around to these firms, and i end up working with diana, who works in her basement at home. her husband is a professor at unca and he kinda looks like the gay guy on as good as it gets. they have a five year old son who has down syndrome and doesn't talk. he's so cute, and the more time i spend there, the more he "talks" to me. today he kept coming down the stairs and peaking around the corner and when he saw me he would run away and laugh. the cutest was when her husband came down the stairs and said, time for my daily interruption, and then announced that he was "going to pick up little critter" from school. that family is so chill and laid back. i really hope that when/if i have a family, that mine is the same way.
speaking of which, my mom is just killing me. i talked to diana about it, and drew, how it just seems like she is in denial that i am an adult, or that i'm capable of doing things. i don't have any money, i don't have a car, and i have very very few friends that i talk to (online mostly, in very intermittant conversation) that are here in asheville. i moved on from high school. most of my friends are younger than me and are more involved with their fellow classmates from a class that i don't know, so i have yet to go out on a limb and see them. all of my friends are in charlotte. despite the mental and emotional things that i had to battle, in retrospect i can say of the past three years that i love college, and i often daydream about being out on my own. having this job makes me feel closer to this, because i am completely going out there and doing what i have to do. i ride my bike to work, the old crummy thing, i carry my laptop and a pair of pants in my bookbag, the same old bookbag i had in high school.
today was the first day that i worked at the photo lab and at diana's. it was a good day, it was long but it didn't feel long. in between the two jobs i stopped briefly at port city java and got some coffee. i meant to ask for iced so i could drink it fast, but i forgot, so i sat down and worked very fast on my laptop to lay out the windows on this church i'm working on. i knew where they were going to go, but i just hadn't put them on yet. and yes, i went in there in my bike shorts. while my tummy could still use some work, my ass is like whoa.
i house sat this weekend where i house sat last year around this same time, a nice house near beaver lake. i spent three nights there, and it was wonderful to get away from home and just relax. there i could really get a taste of my being out on my own daydreams, even though i know my first place won't be as nice, just what it felt like to be alone and to like it, to not be lonely.
despite drew's declaration of "let's see other people but this isn't for good so don't worry," the second night i was there for some reason, i was just frustrated with my mom's incesscant prying and questioning into the reason for every move i make, and just how i felt like i would never get to be on my own because hell, i still have a midnight curfew for pete's sake, she wants me to call every night when i'm at school, and still asks me who the chaperones are when i take trips in studio. i've always wanted so badly to grow up too fast, and here it is striking me again. i missed drew, and that night he ended our conversation with, instead of the "love you, sweet dreams" routine, he said, "elizabeth, i love you." and when we were finished, i just cried a little bit. i don't know why it hit me like that, i thought i had been doing really good.
so the last night i was house sitting, he asks me, what are you doing tomorrow (which was yesterday), and i had the day off.
HE CAME TO SEE ME!
granted, his family was coming here for his brother's orientation at unca, he chose to get two hours of sleep and drive four hours from high point. God, that was the best. i was so happy, it was like my daydreams of him were coming true. we both hadn't eaten anything and i didn't know where to go for breakfast so i decided to come home and make eggs for us. oh man. we watched x files in bed just like we always do, and well yeah.
and yes, i was as loud as i wanted to be.
and then we went to jones park and played, and it was really hot so we went downtown and i showed him all the work diana was doing. we went to kamm's frozen custard, and the leader building's door was open, i was just going to go up to it and show him what it was like inside, and he said, what is this? we walked through wet concrete!!! our footprints were in it! so we ran away. i'm sure they'll fix it, but it would be so neat if they didn't. we would be there forever.
i showed him wall street and other stuff, we went to blue spiral to look at some of his dad's work there, and we went to the upstairs part, which was neat because i had never been up there before. we did our good bye hug at the botanical gardens at unca before i dropped him off with his family. mmm that boy has got me. the thing that sucks, is that when i talked to him that night, he told me his grandpa had had two heart attacks and that he was going to go to the hospital and he would talk to me later, and i haven't heard from him since. jeez, what an end to a day.
so...
speaking of which, my mom is just killing me. i talked to diana about it, and drew, how it just seems like she is in denial that i am an adult, or that i'm capable of doing things. i don't have any money, i don't have a car, and i have very very few friends that i talk to (online mostly, in very intermittant conversation) that are here in asheville. i moved on from high school. most of my friends are younger than me and are more involved with their fellow classmates from a class that i don't know, so i have yet to go out on a limb and see them. all of my friends are in charlotte. despite the mental and emotional things that i had to battle, in retrospect i can say of the past three years that i love college, and i often daydream about being out on my own. having this job makes me feel closer to this, because i am completely going out there and doing what i have to do. i ride my bike to work, the old crummy thing, i carry my laptop and a pair of pants in my bookbag, the same old bookbag i had in high school.
today was the first day that i worked at the photo lab and at diana's. it was a good day, it was long but it didn't feel long. in between the two jobs i stopped briefly at port city java and got some coffee. i meant to ask for iced so i could drink it fast, but i forgot, so i sat down and worked very fast on my laptop to lay out the windows on this church i'm working on. i knew where they were going to go, but i just hadn't put them on yet. and yes, i went in there in my bike shorts. while my tummy could still use some work, my ass is like whoa.
i house sat this weekend where i house sat last year around this same time, a nice house near beaver lake. i spent three nights there, and it was wonderful to get away from home and just relax. there i could really get a taste of my being out on my own daydreams, even though i know my first place won't be as nice, just what it felt like to be alone and to like it, to not be lonely.
despite drew's declaration of "let's see other people but this isn't for good so don't worry," the second night i was there for some reason, i was just frustrated with my mom's incesscant prying and questioning into the reason for every move i make, and just how i felt like i would never get to be on my own because hell, i still have a midnight curfew for pete's sake, she wants me to call every night when i'm at school, and still asks me who the chaperones are when i take trips in studio. i've always wanted so badly to grow up too fast, and here it is striking me again. i missed drew, and that night he ended our conversation with, instead of the "love you, sweet dreams" routine, he said, "elizabeth, i love you." and when we were finished, i just cried a little bit. i don't know why it hit me like that, i thought i had been doing really good.
so the last night i was house sitting, he asks me, what are you doing tomorrow (which was yesterday), and i had the day off.
HE CAME TO SEE ME!
granted, his family was coming here for his brother's orientation at unca, he chose to get two hours of sleep and drive four hours from high point. God, that was the best. i was so happy, it was like my daydreams of him were coming true. we both hadn't eaten anything and i didn't know where to go for breakfast so i decided to come home and make eggs for us. oh man. we watched x files in bed just like we always do, and well yeah.
and yes, i was as loud as i wanted to be.
and then we went to jones park and played, and it was really hot so we went downtown and i showed him all the work diana was doing. we went to kamm's frozen custard, and the leader building's door was open, i was just going to go up to it and show him what it was like inside, and he said, what is this? we walked through wet concrete!!! our footprints were in it! so we ran away. i'm sure they'll fix it, but it would be so neat if they didn't. we would be there forever.
i showed him wall street and other stuff, we went to blue spiral to look at some of his dad's work there, and we went to the upstairs part, which was neat because i had never been up there before. we did our good bye hug at the botanical gardens at unca before i dropped him off with his family. mmm that boy has got me. the thing that sucks, is that when i talked to him that night, he told me his grandpa had had two heart attacks and that he was going to go to the hospital and he would talk to me later, and i haven't heard from him since. jeez, what an end to a day.
so...