(no subject)
Dudu and I went to Atlanta for the long weekend. We saw broadway's Chicago, visited the Coca-Cola factory and a bunch of other tourist things. I drank a lot. I ate too much.... etc. etc.
All and all it was an okay mini-vaca. I had wanted to visit NYC--but Dudu preferred a warmer climate.
Things are going alright for now between us. He's said that my recent decision to leave, although not something I followed through on was his wake-up call. Okay, I don't believe that I have the power to change anyone... but I feel like he's really trying---and I guess I owe him that chance.... especially considering I've never really (until now) spoken my mind clearly enough about the control/abuse issues---always just tip-toed around it. We'll see.
Okay... I've gained weight again---but I am sure that this weight gain (which was my form of rebellion and self-hate) directly coincides with my frustrations with Dudu. I have started a paper-journal to keep myself on track.
I will not be able to post as much here as I have in the last week or so---because I told Dudu that I posted very risque photos on a community full of bi-sexuals, etc----this was meant to be a turn-on for him---which it was.... until after his ejaculation.
As for my attraction to girls.... that's a work in progress... I have communicated to Dudu that if we are going to continue from here, I need to feel free to do what I want.... he has agreed to help in any way he can.
I will go to school after we move to Houston----probably will start in January.
This very-important-buyer has not contacted us... time is running low... I hope we don't lose it----------But I have many other ideas brewing... Everything will be ok.
I bought some garden burgers (w/o cheese inside) from the frozen food section today... 100 calories each. They are terrific---I love the taste..... I ate one this afternoon, just that by itself.
I have been thinking about how I was always 110 before---how I was eating then, exercising, my mood, etc. I felt much better about myself...I kept to my routine... woke up early and went to sleep at a reasonable hour. I drank one coffee in the am... had an apple or small snack in the afternoon and ate a small salad w/an entree in the evening. The key is the snack in the afternoon---w/o that I have a tendency to over-eat in the evening.... So, it is back to this routine that I will go!
The journal will help keep me on track.
I can't communicate how satisfying it is to wake up around dawn, exercise, shower and start the day. I love to wake up early. When I'm consistantly waking up late (which is what I was doing for a while now--to kill this down time as much as possible) I start to feel depressed.
I get very bored easily. I need to stay busy to stay motivated.
This f-ing buyer----- but as soon as they call it's going to be a hurricane for about 1.5 mo's or so.
I think that in the days until this deal I will continue to study my Hebrew reader and DANTES business exam guide, and maintain this new journal.... and the day-to-day stuff---bills, etc.
So, let's see what I have to report tomorrow------will I actually study????? I have been so bad this last week!!!
Lose weight,
stay motivated,
dedicated,
optimistic,
idealistic,
perfectionistic................. I was trying to be cute.
Dudu read my horoscope from walla.co.il. It said that I'm an "international traveler and/or a 'professional' student"....sounds about right.... that'd be an 'and' rather than an 'or' I HOPE----I MUST GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!
I'm going to be visiting Russia for the first time during the manufacturing-intermission in China. I believe that I will really enjoy myself there---and I'm SURE that Dudu will.... Russians are the Queens of beautiful girls (and many prostitutes).
All and all it was an okay mini-vaca. I had wanted to visit NYC--but Dudu preferred a warmer climate.
Things are going alright for now between us. He's said that my recent decision to leave, although not something I followed through on was his wake-up call. Okay, I don't believe that I have the power to change anyone... but I feel like he's really trying---and I guess I owe him that chance.... especially considering I've never really (until now) spoken my mind clearly enough about the control/abuse issues---always just tip-toed around it. We'll see.
Okay... I've gained weight again---but I am sure that this weight gain (which was my form of rebellion and self-hate) directly coincides with my frustrations with Dudu. I have started a paper-journal to keep myself on track.
I will not be able to post as much here as I have in the last week or so---because I told Dudu that I posted very risque photos on a community full of bi-sexuals, etc----this was meant to be a turn-on for him---which it was.... until after his ejaculation.
As for my attraction to girls.... that's a work in progress... I have communicated to Dudu that if we are going to continue from here, I need to feel free to do what I want.... he has agreed to help in any way he can.
I will go to school after we move to Houston----probably will start in January.
This very-important-buyer has not contacted us... time is running low... I hope we don't lose it----------But I have many other ideas brewing... Everything will be ok.
I bought some garden burgers (w/o cheese inside) from the frozen food section today... 100 calories each. They are terrific---I love the taste..... I ate one this afternoon, just that by itself.
I have been thinking about how I was always 110 before---how I was eating then, exercising, my mood, etc. I felt much better about myself...I kept to my routine... woke up early and went to sleep at a reasonable hour. I drank one coffee in the am... had an apple or small snack in the afternoon and ate a small salad w/an entree in the evening. The key is the snack in the afternoon---w/o that I have a tendency to over-eat in the evening.... So, it is back to this routine that I will go!
The journal will help keep me on track.
I can't communicate how satisfying it is to wake up around dawn, exercise, shower and start the day. I love to wake up early. When I'm consistantly waking up late (which is what I was doing for a while now--to kill this down time as much as possible) I start to feel depressed.
I get very bored easily. I need to stay busy to stay motivated.
This f-ing buyer----- but as soon as they call it's going to be a hurricane for about 1.5 mo's or so.
I think that in the days until this deal I will continue to study my Hebrew reader and DANTES business exam guide, and maintain this new journal.... and the day-to-day stuff---bills, etc.
So, let's see what I have to report tomorrow------will I actually study????? I have been so bad this last week!!!
Lose weight,
stay motivated,
dedicated,
optimistic,
idealistic,
perfectionistic................. I was trying to be cute.
Dudu read my horoscope from walla.co.il. It said that I'm an "international traveler and/or a 'professional' student"....sounds about right.... that'd be an 'and' rather than an 'or' I HOPE----I MUST GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!
I'm going to be visiting Russia for the first time during the manufacturing-intermission in China. I believe that I will really enjoy myself there---and I'm SURE that Dudu will.... Russians are the Queens of beautiful girls (and many prostitutes).