my people (um, person)
Cousin C has decided to be his own birthday party planner. He sent out the Evite on Friday; the gathering is this evening. Due to the short turnaround time, I was tasked with contacting some people who hadn't yet viewed the invitation.
So I let my parents know, and then phoned Free... um,
winterredwood. She wondered if she should bring anything, and I didn't have a good answer so decided to actually read the text of the invite.
~~~~
"My friends,
Times, they are a hard- and this is late. The World Economy is clearly heading if not toward actual depression, then at least to general peevishness and overall pain-to-be-aroundiness.
We now know with certainty that even Black Jesus shall not save us from our own self created financial Hell and that we are doomed to a future where our over blown sense of self indulgence will not longer be satisfied with impunity.
The troglodyte syndicated minions of the throne have just passed through our depressed villages and extracted their full share of protection money from our shriveled crops- and this in addition to what they have already demanded of our unborn progeny, all to continue the doomed wars against the foreign infidels over the ancient fabled, (but now irrelevant) promised lands of Detroit, as well as to maintain the venal, corrupt and mentally impotent financial ruling oligarchy in opulent luxury.
I thus hesitate. Maybe this is not the best time to be reminded of the great duty that faces us all at this time each year- to whit the choice of which sparkling toy to purchase to dangle before the bleary eyes of your Aries brethren, in a vain attempt to distract him from the fact that yet another year has been spent out of his soon to be empty bag of mortality, and that while his natural handsomeness, glowing smooth skin, inner beauty, charm, intellect, luck, deep spiritual intuition, his health, his comedic and philosophical gifts and his social and familial comforts and as well as his full set of teeth all continue to retain their luster, the mantel of greatness and respect combined with at least some measure of financial security continue to elude his grasping fingers, and the number of grey hairs in his frazzled beard grows ever more??
But, even in times of great stress, must not tradition be maintained? Else chaos reigns supreme- let us not forget who we are, and our responsibilities.
Thus, in an effort to make it easier for thee, (mah people), what I ask from you is merely your physical self at my humble abode this Saturday Evening. There to share with me the few hard and moldy crusts and the brackish water I have within my cupboard- yes, a poor humble mans fare, but obtained through the honest sweat of my brow.
As usual, come and bring any Ma-Wo or Hu-Man of clean heart and good conscience with you. If you wish to partake of the waters of Bacchus, bring these with you as well, for the Juju Charms I now wear to protect me from the madness my enemies have cooked against me in the valley of darkness, (aaah-men) prevents me from partaking of such things ever more.
The time, my address and my phone number are somewhere on this Evite. Use them to guide your plans."
~~~~
As I started to read it aloud, I suddenly grokked how long it was. So I said to winter, "He wrote it himself."
"I can tell."
"Yeah, cause if I'd written it, it would've just been like: So I'm having a party. Come, or not, whatever."
"Yeah."
"So... um... how much time do you have?"
"You know, I'll just read it later."
"Good plan."
So I let my parents know, and then phoned Free... um,
winterredwood. She wondered if she should bring anything, and I didn't have a good answer so decided to actually read the text of the invite.
~~~~
"My friends,
Times, they are a hard- and this is late. The World Economy is clearly heading if not toward actual depression, then at least to general peevishness and overall pain-to-be-aroundiness.
We now know with certainty that even Black Jesus shall not save us from our own self created financial Hell and that we are doomed to a future where our over blown sense of self indulgence will not longer be satisfied with impunity.
The troglodyte syndicated minions of the throne have just passed through our depressed villages and extracted their full share of protection money from our shriveled crops- and this in addition to what they have already demanded of our unborn progeny, all to continue the doomed wars against the foreign infidels over the ancient fabled, (but now irrelevant) promised lands of Detroit, as well as to maintain the venal, corrupt and mentally impotent financial ruling oligarchy in opulent luxury.
I thus hesitate. Maybe this is not the best time to be reminded of the great duty that faces us all at this time each year- to whit the choice of which sparkling toy to purchase to dangle before the bleary eyes of your Aries brethren, in a vain attempt to distract him from the fact that yet another year has been spent out of his soon to be empty bag of mortality, and that while his natural handsomeness, glowing smooth skin, inner beauty, charm, intellect, luck, deep spiritual intuition, his health, his comedic and philosophical gifts and his social and familial comforts and as well as his full set of teeth all continue to retain their luster, the mantel of greatness and respect combined with at least some measure of financial security continue to elude his grasping fingers, and the number of grey hairs in his frazzled beard grows ever more??
But, even in times of great stress, must not tradition be maintained? Else chaos reigns supreme- let us not forget who we are, and our responsibilities.
Thus, in an effort to make it easier for thee, (mah people), what I ask from you is merely your physical self at my humble abode this Saturday Evening. There to share with me the few hard and moldy crusts and the brackish water I have within my cupboard- yes, a poor humble mans fare, but obtained through the honest sweat of my brow.
As usual, come and bring any Ma-Wo or Hu-Man of clean heart and good conscience with you. If you wish to partake of the waters of Bacchus, bring these with you as well, for the Juju Charms I now wear to protect me from the madness my enemies have cooked against me in the valley of darkness, (aaah-men) prevents me from partaking of such things ever more.
The time, my address and my phone number are somewhere on this Evite. Use them to guide your plans."
~~~~
As I started to read it aloud, I suddenly grokked how long it was. So I said to winter, "He wrote it himself."
"I can tell."
"Yeah, cause if I'd written it, it would've just been like: So I'm having a party. Come, or not, whatever."
"Yeah."
"So... um... how much time do you have?"
"You know, I'll just read it later."
"Good plan."