Exhausted!

[stuart8]

Its been many many months since I have been on here. For I believe anybody that might actually read this knows Erin, which has been my dear friend for many years and many more to come. I just really cant talk to her at the moment even though I know that is what she needs. Sometime people (myself) become so drained they can not deal with certain

Comments

[leanasidhe]

you're right that it's not your fault that we argued. i'm sorry that what i'd been holding in came out at that moment, and i am sorry that i never told you before. obviously you can't know if something's bothering me unless i tell you, even though you're a wonderful and smart guy. as for what we aruged about...i shouldn't have let it become such a big thing. the fact of the matter is that we're two very different people and we show how we care in two very different ways; i do little material things and you're the one that calls me (nearly every day) to see how i am doing. those phone calls mean more than a stupid page in a book ever will and i wouldn't trade them for anything. i miss talking to you.

i've been thinking about all of the other, non-material things you've done for me and i remember how you said that sometimes you have to exaggerate your feelings b/c sometimes people don't get that you care. and i think, in your telling me that, and the fact that you came on and checked on me, shows just how much you DO care. you don't say it, but that doesn't make it any less true.

i think i can handle talking to you now...you know how i always need some time after an argument "to get over" the negative feelings and calm down. i was doing better yesterday, but after watching a couple of hours of one of my favorite shows last night, i began to feel even better. then i spent a couple of hours playing renaissance kingdoms and just letting loose. i think a lot of stress and shit had piled up and it was unfortunate that it came out at that time and i am very sorry for it b/c you didn't deserve it.

[stuart8]

I dont really think its your fault either. You were holding back from telling me because you did not want to make a big deal about it which is sweet. But it did bother you. I am giving the cell phone a break this weekend. Talk to you next week.

[leanasidhe]

maybe so, but it IS my fault for holding back. you've been telling me for years that i can tell you anything and still i let my fears hold me back from doing so.

i hope you have a good weekend. we're heading up to the renaissance fair to celebrate ayla's birthday, and then we have the kenny rogers concert to go to tonight. tomorrow, after we get off of work, we're going to ayla's real birthday party, which is just for family (and i am honored that they count us as family).

you're making me jealous with all of this talk about the 'vette. you know before i got sally, a 'vette is all i ever wanted to drive. and i still have not done so. you better take a picture of that sweet baby for me. i want to see her.