geek-out
in elementary school i learned just how much better i was at math than others my age.
in third and fourth grade i joined the Math Olympiads.
in fourth grade i discovered just much fun math could be with date-math.
in fourth grade i started getting higher scores in math aptitude than my brother.
in fifth grade i learned what it's like to not be the best at math and was heart-broken.
in sixth grade i realized that i was still one of the best at math, but not the smartest.
in seventh grade i learned what it was like to fall behind in math and not be in the smartest class.
in eighth grade i strived to gain better my mathematical situation so that i would be ready to take the advanced classes in high school.
freshman year i was in the same class as everyone else.
i also learned this year of some students my age who were taking precalc already. i was crushed.
the rest of high school i continued to be in the average classes with the average students, with the exception of calc 2... which i did horrible in and dont know how i passed the ap test.
college i took calc 3. a week or two into it i realized how far above me it was and i failed out.
before calculus 2, I had never come across a math I couldn't handle, with little effort. Calculus 2 I got to work and succeeded. However Calculus 3 forced me to give up. I was so heart broken I lost all passion for the subject and began to doubt my mathematical capabilities, for the first time. I felt stupid, and useless, and lost.
No matter how slow I may have been in any other subjects. no matter my grades, I could always look back on my math class and smile. I dont need great teachers for math, like i do with other subjects. just give me numbers and direction, and i'm happy. even just the book and i can usually figure it out on my own if i try.
but once i failed that class, and i couldn't learn with all the tutoring in the world, i gave up on math. and i gave up on myself. i defined myself with math, it's what i'm good at, it's who i am. in eighth grade i was voted most likely to be a mathematician. all through high school my goal was to get a degree to become a math teacher. and now that goal is fading. i had direction. now i have none. i dont know what i want to do with my life. when people ask i say math as a default, and even teach math. but that passion is gone.
why do i bring this up? because i got into a debate earlier with shawn about math vs science.
as controversial as my view may be, i dont like science, i feel it is dictated by emotions and opinions. there is too much room for human error. math is concrete. that's what i love about it, it's never changing, there's always a right and wrong answer, and they dont change unless the problem changes. everything is equivalent to something.
it was always nice knowing i could find something concrete in life, and i get offended when people try to lessen it's importance or use.
math is who i am. it's what makes me feel smart, and educated, and meaningful. I'm good at english and science, too, but i dont have the passion for them like i do with math. I may be a geek, or a nerd, or whatever, but it's what makes sense to me, and it's important to me.
in third and fourth grade i joined the Math Olympiads.
in fourth grade i discovered just much fun math could be with date-math.
in fourth grade i started getting higher scores in math aptitude than my brother.
in fifth grade i learned what it's like to not be the best at math and was heart-broken.
in sixth grade i realized that i was still one of the best at math, but not the smartest.
in seventh grade i learned what it was like to fall behind in math and not be in the smartest class.
in eighth grade i strived to gain better my mathematical situation so that i would be ready to take the advanced classes in high school.
freshman year i was in the same class as everyone else.
i also learned this year of some students my age who were taking precalc already. i was crushed.
the rest of high school i continued to be in the average classes with the average students, with the exception of calc 2... which i did horrible in and dont know how i passed the ap test.
college i took calc 3. a week or two into it i realized how far above me it was and i failed out.
before calculus 2, I had never come across a math I couldn't handle, with little effort. Calculus 2 I got to work and succeeded. However Calculus 3 forced me to give up. I was so heart broken I lost all passion for the subject and began to doubt my mathematical capabilities, for the first time. I felt stupid, and useless, and lost.
No matter how slow I may have been in any other subjects. no matter my grades, I could always look back on my math class and smile. I dont need great teachers for math, like i do with other subjects. just give me numbers and direction, and i'm happy. even just the book and i can usually figure it out on my own if i try.
but once i failed that class, and i couldn't learn with all the tutoring in the world, i gave up on math. and i gave up on myself. i defined myself with math, it's what i'm good at, it's who i am. in eighth grade i was voted most likely to be a mathematician. all through high school my goal was to get a degree to become a math teacher. and now that goal is fading. i had direction. now i have none. i dont know what i want to do with my life. when people ask i say math as a default, and even teach math. but that passion is gone.
why do i bring this up? because i got into a debate earlier with shawn about math vs science.
as controversial as my view may be, i dont like science, i feel it is dictated by emotions and opinions. there is too much room for human error. math is concrete. that's what i love about it, it's never changing, there's always a right and wrong answer, and they dont change unless the problem changes. everything is equivalent to something.
it was always nice knowing i could find something concrete in life, and i get offended when people try to lessen it's importance or use.
math is who i am. it's what makes me feel smart, and educated, and meaningful. I'm good at english and science, too, but i dont have the passion for them like i do with math. I may be a geek, or a nerd, or whatever, but it's what makes sense to me, and it's important to me.