Mediocrity discovered in my very heart!
In past months I have found it disturbing how shaken my relationship with God got over the fact that I am an idiot. I was run down by the very disciplin disorder that I fight the hardest, pride. I have found that all to often when we are in "comfortable" situations where your way of life is the norm you fall into believing certain things that are slightly scewed. at least, that is what happened here.
I ran into my pride. That seems so mediocre knowing how pride can destroy someone, and yet I fell into it. Does this mean that I fell into mediocrity? I found myself ramped up for God's mission because I though that I was a "go to guy" and the man God could count on. Well, after being dropped on my face I realize now that I am just a man and only capable of what God is doing in me. Rebuilding I am, and not for face value this time. God is good, really good, we just have to open our eyes and heart and be willing to see that fact. But then I must ask, when one achieves nothing better than a mediocre standard and fails, what good is he to the rest of the mission? where is the good in a heart that continue to struggle and fail?
I ran into my pride. That seems so mediocre knowing how pride can destroy someone, and yet I fell into it. Does this mean that I fell into mediocrity? I found myself ramped up for God's mission because I though that I was a "go to guy" and the man God could count on. Well, after being dropped on my face I realize now that I am just a man and only capable of what God is doing in me. Rebuilding I am, and not for face value this time. God is good, really good, we just have to open our eyes and heart and be willing to see that fact. But then I must ask, when one achieves nothing better than a mediocre standard and fails, what good is he to the rest of the mission? where is the good in a heart that continue to struggle and fail?