one day i'll fly away.[?]

[strpshwincluded]

never. it never happens the way i want it to.
i'm trying to be positive about it, i really am.
that i'll leave and i'll find someone better...maybe in a band or something.

i'm afraid of losing him.
i'm afraid of change.
i'm afraid of failing at life.
i'm afraid that my lack of direction is only going to make me go downward.
i'm afraid that without him, i won't have a voice of reason and i'll fall into old habits and make bad decisions.
i'm afraid of not being good enough.

i don't feel like i am good enough.
i'm not skinny enough.
i'm not pretty enough.
i'm not strong enough.
i'm not fashionable enough.
i'm not talented enough.
i'm not fun enough.
i'm not clean enough.
i'm not smart enough.
i'm not driven enough.
i'm not intelligent enough.
i'm not focused enough.

i hate my life.
ugh.

one day i'll fly away.
i have to leave by september.

i have to, absolutley.

i need to move out.
oh man. oh man.