(no subject)
Its time for a much needed check-in with myself.
Man, life is a trip. The last few months since I have written have been a battle to find balance. Balance between being young and becoming the woman I need to be for myself. Healing my wounds, my insecurities so that I can love myself. Trying to find piece of mind and heart so that my conscious can really rest. Each day I get closer to myself, I feel it especially these last couple of weeks. I am really trying to be gentle with myself. I try to not be so hard on myself.
I am so sorry self. For everything I have done to you. For letting others break your spirit down. For allowing others to make you feel ugly. For letting the beautiful men that enter your life make you feel like shit when they no longer seek your company. For letting your mind think that it was on you, that you just weren't enough. Truth is they were not enough for you. For the nights that I let you drown in alcohol in hopes that it would take you far away when in reality it was only taking you further into sadness. Like that buzz would be as good as it would ever get.
Man, life is a trip. The last few months since I have written have been a battle to find balance. Balance between being young and becoming the woman I need to be for myself. Healing my wounds, my insecurities so that I can love myself. Trying to find piece of mind and heart so that my conscious can really rest. Each day I get closer to myself, I feel it especially these last couple of weeks. I am really trying to be gentle with myself. I try to not be so hard on myself.
I am so sorry self. For everything I have done to you. For letting others break your spirit down. For allowing others to make you feel ugly. For letting the beautiful men that enter your life make you feel like shit when they no longer seek your company. For letting your mind think that it was on you, that you just weren't enough. Truth is they were not enough for you. For the nights that I let you drown in alcohol in hopes that it would take you far away when in reality it was only taking you further into sadness. Like that buzz would be as good as it would ever get.