(no subject)
i cant i cant i cant i cant i cannot fall into this. fight one dependency with another. fall back into memories. run right now of it'll get worse. get busy and stick to it or it'll all fall down, funnel that energy until the hollowness goes away. everything is chemicals and dependencies. i thought i'd gotten away from hope but it was the underlying factor that kept me going the whole time. i'm far from a solution and i won't ever get an answer. it sounds so unreal but it's backwards, what i think will exist will not