The last 3 years
I think I've lost the person that used to be my best friend. We were together through thick and thin since freshman french 1 is high school. But the last 3 years she has been slipping away. Her becoming a assistant hall manager for my old Uni has changed her and not in a good way. She has become increasingly distant and never shares things with me anymore. You know the kinds of things best friends are supposed to share like who they are seeing and what they have done everyday. She stopped sharing that stuff when she became a hall manager. She's also became increasingly bitter and cynical. I don't like it. She argues with me over the bridesmaids dresses for my wedding... MY WEDDING. ITs my wedding my choice as to what they wear and she's bitching that she doesn't want to wear a strapless dress or want to pay more than a $100 for a dress. She wants something that looks like the mom of the bride is supposed to wear, you know old ladyish. This from the person that's supposed to be my best friend and maid of honor!! It PISSES me off to no end. I'm seriously thinking about replacing her as MoH and putting in my sister. She keeps promising to come see me in my new city, she has been for the last year... I've been down here a year. Its not like I'm in another state. I'm 2 and a half hours away. That's not bad for someone that has one of the most flexible jobs in the country. Its not like there aren't people she can trade shifts with to come down. I have seen her 3 times in the last year, 2 of which ended with me irritated at her. I don't know if I wanna be her friend anymore, BUT we have known each other over 13 years now.
Speaking of friends, I feel like they are all pulling back. I have seen V maybe twice, W twice, A twice, and that's it. Where are all these people that call themselves my girlfriends. Where are they when I need them?! Especially during the stressful time of planning my wedding. It when I need then the most. They weren't at my graduation recently, they don't write or call or even facebook. I feel alone in the middle of the ocean without a life boat. Feeling alone is never a good thing for me, as we have all learned in previous entries. I guess I'm ment to go through life with only acquaintances and no true friends. Right now I'm seriously thinking about kicking her out of my wedding and cutting all ties with her. Because I don't think I have the energy to salvage what's left between us.
Speaking of friends, I feel like they are all pulling back. I have seen V maybe twice, W twice, A twice, and that's it. Where are all these people that call themselves my girlfriends. Where are they when I need them?! Especially during the stressful time of planning my wedding. It when I need then the most. They weren't at my graduation recently, they don't write or call or even facebook. I feel alone in the middle of the ocean without a life boat. Feeling alone is never a good thing for me, as we have all learned in previous entries. I guess I'm ment to go through life with only acquaintances and no true friends. Right now I'm seriously thinking about kicking her out of my wedding and cutting all ties with her. Because I don't think I have the energy to salvage what's left between us.