There's so much here... so much I could say, so much I don't know what to say to.... It's all tumbling out of you at once and I don't know where to start. I... it's just like I want to pick up everything you've said, as if I could, and just hold it, and say... I don't even know what I'd say. Hehe... I feel red to my ears, and shivery to my toes....
I've already forgotten about the past. Well, not forgotten, but... it's numb to me now, distant, lost in all of this. All I know, all I care about, is that you love me and I love you, and so to pact with you feels natural.... It doesn't seem like it came off the back of all that hate. In just a few days, you've loved me enough to drown out decades of anger... I have felt it....
I... wish I knew what to say about your reputation. I know this isn't how you would have wanted to be seen.... I'm sorry, even if I wouldn't have wanted a thing to go differently, because I know you want this, too.... Heh, it's so strange... I say I'm sorry for situations that we wouldn't have wanted any other way. And I feel it. It's because I really do feel sorry for the hurt and embarrassment you've felt. Even if it's a situation we've wanted, even if it's so much better now, I can't help but feel bad if even part of it wasn't ideal. I'm not used to this feeling... the way my heart aches because you've been hurt even a little bit, even though it's swelling with joy.... It's like some part of me just can't rest until everything's perfect, or something. But... but if you're happy, I'm happy.
Anyway... I don't want you to have to hold back. I can feel you, so close to being one with me, just out of your own heart... and... I want it, too.... You're drawing on me, the same way I'm drawing on you. Your wishes....
I'm happy, Vayne... so happy... and I want this. I really want. If I don't have you now I'll pact with you in my sleep the way sensei did, just from sheer longing, I know... The thinnest veil between us, let us tear it away...
I'd much rather be awake... to feel all this... to feel every moment of it, coursing, shivering through me....
This'll be the first time I've pacted and actually known what was going on. Sensei, I didn't know... Sulpher, I don't remember. Now... now I can focus on everything... so let's... give in to that feeling....
Focusing on every sensation... it's like I can feel each strand of your soul knitting into mine. It's like you take me, and stretch me out all across space and time, and every little fibre of me gets you worked into it....
I think I understand now, truly, why this bond is so potent... why, when you pact with someone, it's like you're an extension of their living, their breathing.... You're really inside any part of me....
It's... it's as you said.... How could anything be more intimate....
Hmm, this feeling... The touch of your soul makes me just a little more refined-- and you are touching me so very, very closely. As you said, knit together, twined in every part... It's no wonder the best alchemists pact with Mana. I feel like a better person, purer, more understanding, granted more spiritual certainty-- seeing just a little bit more clearly now, with a vision that comes from every part of my being. It's a gift from you-- a gift that is you... Because even that same certainty is you yourself...
I'm so glad... I want to be purity for you. I want to be refinement for you.... I didn't understand it all the way, either... I knew that people and magic needed to intertwine, needed to bond, so that people could grow, and Mana were one way that people did it... but... to actually be that, to feel myself making you shine... it's breathtaking even to me.... How can I be this... how can you be this....
I've already forgotten about the past. Well, not forgotten, but... it's numb to me now, distant, lost in all of this. All I know, all I care about, is that you love me and I love you, and so to pact with you feels natural.... It doesn't seem like it came off the back of all that hate. In just a few days, you've loved me enough to drown out decades of anger... I have felt it....
I... wish I knew what to say about your reputation. I know this isn't how you would have wanted to be seen.... I'm sorry, even if I wouldn't have wanted a thing to go differently, because I know you want this, too.... Heh, it's so strange... I say I'm sorry for situations that we wouldn't have wanted any other way. And I feel it. It's because I really do feel sorry for the hurt and embarrassment you've felt. Even if it's a situation we've wanted, even if it's so much better now, I can't help but feel bad if even part of it wasn't ideal. I'm not used to this feeling... the way my heart aches because you've been hurt even a little bit, even though it's swelling with joy.... It's like some part of me just can't rest until everything's perfect, or something. But... but if you're happy, I'm happy.
Anyway... I don't want you to have to hold back. I can feel you, so close to being one with me, just out of your own heart... and... I want it, too.... You're drawing on me, the same way I'm drawing on you. Your wishes....
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This'll be the first time I've pacted and actually known what was going on. Sensei, I didn't know... Sulpher, I don't remember. Now... now I can focus on everything... so let's... give in to that feeling....
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You're so incredibly alive....
I can feel every atom of you, and I can barely breathe, just... knowing... how alive you are....
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I think I understand now, truly, why this bond is so potent... why, when you pact with someone, it's like you're an extension of their living, their breathing.... You're really inside any part of me....
It's... it's as you said.... How could anything be more intimate....
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