Conjunction
Pacting with Vayne...
I think I really want to do it, even if I have to go through an ordeal afterwards...
It's such a strange thought, though. A week ago I said I hated him and couldn't stand being around him. Now, I'm seriously planning to ask him to stay with me forever and to bind his soul to mine and dwell in the most intimate places of my self. And yes, everything has changed, and nothing's what we thought it was before; but can this really be true of me and Vayne?
I thought I had suddenly found a... a romantic relationship. It was so unexpected and odd to find myself having one at all, let alone with Vayne. Letting my emotions run away with me like that... and for once, I didn't care. I didn't even care that people were going to talk. What I felt for Vayne was unlike what I've felt for any mortal being before... and, for that matter, ever. Because it turned out that what I found was another Mana. It's technically that, isn't it? I've found a second Mana, and I want to pact with him so much, I can feel light and fire streaming through my heart... like I can't hold back any more. I would plead and beg to be with him, the way I did with her not so long ago. It's the same, this need to be one. Heh... I assert that I was never blinded by mortal romance after all! But I thought, for a while, that I must have been-- and I cannot deny that I felt and still feel that way about him, too.
When I look at him, I halfway see the beautiful boy I fell in love with, and I halfway see a divine creature whose presence I can hardly bear for its beauty. The schoolboy-Vayne lingers in my mind as a memory that lingers an instant behind this being of pure light... Now that the rest of the school knows about Vayne, I wonder if they still see him as their classmate, or as a Mana suddenly awakened among them?
When I pact with him, will they think of me as having a boyfriend who's a Mana, or will I be talked about as one of those people who sleeps with their Mana? What sort of rumours are going to go around about me next? Or perhaps it's already too late-- perhaps people already think of it that way. I've lost control of my own reputation.
I thought that last part would bother me a lot more than it actually does.
I think I really want to do it, even if I have to go through an ordeal afterwards...
It's such a strange thought, though. A week ago I said I hated him and couldn't stand being around him. Now, I'm seriously planning to ask him to stay with me forever and to bind his soul to mine and dwell in the most intimate places of my self. And yes, everything has changed, and nothing's what we thought it was before; but can this really be true of me and Vayne?
I thought I had suddenly found a... a romantic relationship. It was so unexpected and odd to find myself having one at all, let alone with Vayne. Letting my emotions run away with me like that... and for once, I didn't care. I didn't even care that people were going to talk. What I felt for Vayne was unlike what I've felt for any mortal being before... and, for that matter, ever. Because it turned out that what I found was another Mana. It's technically that, isn't it? I've found a second Mana, and I want to pact with him so much, I can feel light and fire streaming through my heart... like I can't hold back any more. I would plead and beg to be with him, the way I did with her not so long ago. It's the same, this need to be one. Heh... I assert that I was never blinded by mortal romance after all! But I thought, for a while, that I must have been-- and I cannot deny that I felt and still feel that way about him, too.
When I look at him, I halfway see the beautiful boy I fell in love with, and I halfway see a divine creature whose presence I can hardly bear for its beauty. The schoolboy-Vayne lingers in my mind as a memory that lingers an instant behind this being of pure light... Now that the rest of the school knows about Vayne, I wonder if they still see him as their classmate, or as a Mana suddenly awakened among them?
When I pact with him, will they think of me as having a boyfriend who's a Mana, or will I be talked about as one of those people who sleeps with their Mana? What sort of rumours are going to go around about me next? Or perhaps it's already too late-- perhaps people already think of it that way. I've lost control of my own reputation.
I thought that last part would bother me a lot more than it actually does.