slipping...
I'm so lost right now; I'm drowning in a sea of hopelessness. I can't seem to pull myself out. I think I get ahead of the game and then, "wham" I'm falling harder than the last time. I have a very supportive boyfriend, friends, and family, but nobody can help me. I have to do this myself. I only wish I knew how. I'm pretty sure I'm all outa tears...it's just not possible to cry anymore. Last night Tommy woke me up cause I was crying in my sleep and then we laid there and talked and cried together till 3am. A bad and good night all rolled up into one. I tried calling my mom tonight. The one person who always knows just what to say to help me feel better, only this time it didn't help. I think I need a week to catch up on homework and life. To take a step back and figure out what is really important to me and what I can let go. There's one thing I'm really struggling with letting go. I just don't want to do it. I'm scared and I'll miss her like crazy. I know it's probably for the best, but god it'll be hard if that's the way things turn out. I'm being stubborn and selfish, but I can't even think about it without crying...what am I going to do when/if it actually happens?? I could really use a sign from God now telling me I'm gonna be okay and everything is going to work out. I need it to more than ever...
~me
~me