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Why does this year feel so different from last year. Last year, we had a family on the floor. We all got along, loved each other, and hung out constantly. I want it back. I'm tired of all the crabbiness, the shit that's happening won't go away and people aren't feeling better and I want them to. I wish there was just a magic pill that would make all the hurt go away, make all of us get along again like we used to. I'm tired of having to choose sides...I hate choosing sides, but my hand is being forced and there's nothing I can do about it. Tommy's not doing well. He can't handle it anymore. He was so upset this summer and worried and sad and it's better now that we're together but it's not like it was and that makes both of us cry. A couple nights ago, I just broke down and cried for 2 hours. I couldn't seem to stop and thinking about it makes me upset again. I want everybody to be happy again. I wish I could balance my time better. I miss my roomie so much sometimes and I feel so far away from everyone, so distant, and I don't like it at all. Do you ever just miss the way your life used to be so much that it hurts? That's how I feel all the time now. I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to help my friends. I don't know who's side I should take. I don't know anything anymore.