(no subject)
It occurred to me tonight that perhaps I am a healer.
All of my life I have felt called to some task, some duty that I could not precisely define. I have always been skeptical, afraid, and hopelessly drawn to the spectacle of romantic connection, to the accident scenes where love has gone wrong.
Tonight I wondered if this were my job in life, to drift one sadness to another bringing new love, new life and compassion.
Every man I've ever dated has somehow grown and blossommed through our bond and its eventual dissipation. Perhaps that is all of life, each moment an opportunity for us to reach and trandcend, relationships merely magnifying that, but I have felt drawn. I possess an unusual empathic capacity; lovers can inhabit me.
I imagined this life, scenes upon scenes of it, my shifting self moving from lover to lover to friendship, each of us teaching and knowing the other, connecting with and letting go of pain. I would not be a martyr here. My satisfaction would be complete.
All of my life I have felt called to some task, some duty that I could not precisely define. I have always been skeptical, afraid, and hopelessly drawn to the spectacle of romantic connection, to the accident scenes where love has gone wrong.
Tonight I wondered if this were my job in life, to drift one sadness to another bringing new love, new life and compassion.
Every man I've ever dated has somehow grown and blossommed through our bond and its eventual dissipation. Perhaps that is all of life, each moment an opportunity for us to reach and trandcend, relationships merely magnifying that, but I have felt drawn. I possess an unusual empathic capacity; lovers can inhabit me.
I imagined this life, scenes upon scenes of it, my shifting self moving from lover to lover to friendship, each of us teaching and knowing the other, connecting with and letting go of pain. I would not be a martyr here. My satisfaction would be complete.