fic: you're always made up, 3/3
Info and disclaimer in Part I.
Part II.
Poppy was counting the days.
Not out loud, not on a calendar, but cautiously in her mind like preparation for an interview, for a family reunion, for the start of school. She was some sort of excited, tempered with hesitation and regret.
She could see Kate counting, too.
Never out loud and never on a calendar, but with each measured kiss along her stomach. With each slightly frantic snog behind the tech building. Kate counted with undone buttons and discarded shoes.
Poppy was beginning to reconsider. It was a dangerous thing, this reconsidering, because it would lead to regret either way. She as beginning to reconsider a life with Ruby and no Kate. A life with sun and no rain- okay, that part wasn’t much of a debate. The Kate thing was.
Five days before, Josie brought it up during lunch and Poppy shrugged away the question, much too the Josie’s surprise.
"But it’s your ticket out!" Josie exclaimed, dropping her fork to the side. She dropped her voice. "And it’s Freddie…" She teased, a small smile playing on the corner of her mouth. Poppy managed to return it, but she simply shrugged.
"We’ll see." She said.
Four days before, Kate caught her hand as they passed between classes and pulled her to the side of the hallway.
"I know you have to." She said, and Poppy hesitated, totally confused for a moment. Her brain kicked in a minute later and she frowned.
"Kate-"
"No, it’s okay." Kate said, going for a smile and ending up with something heartbreaking. "It’s okay." She disappeared into the crowd.
Three days before, Camilla threw her down on the bed and shoved her freshly dried trunk out in the middle of the room.
"What on earth on you going to where?" Camilla worried, digging through Poppy’s light skirts and tank tops. She frowned, perplexed, and shut the trunk. "Plan B." She announced, and moved over to the chest of drawers.
Two days before, Poppy drew tiny circles along Kate’s stomach as they lay in the grass. She tangled her legs with the blonde’s and sighed softly.
"Kate, I don’t think I-" She stopped mid-sentence, kind of terrified of the unbidden words leaving her mouth. Kate waited, holding her breath, but Poppy’s fingers started moving again. She wrote Poppy along Kate’s stomach until the girl caught her fingers and tangled them with her own. It rained that night and they had to sprint back to the main building, gasping and laughing under the damp attack.
The day before, Poppy couldn’t sleep. She rolled onto her side and watched Kate, rolled back over and watched the sky. She shut her eyes and buried her face under the pillow. She stuck her feet out the bottom of the covers, pulled them back in, curled one out, then twisted onto her arm.
She didn’t want to leave. She wanted the possibility of leaving.
She was kind of in love with Kate.
/\/\/\
Freddie was adorable in his thick rain boots and floppy hair, his eyes shining under the dreary sun. He was comfortable in the seat beside her, his arm hanging out of the car, cutting through the wind and the mist. Poppy thought she saw him wince when his car ground out its protest at Poppy's lack of gear-shifting, but the expression was gone a moment later.
"Where are we going?" Poppy asked, lifting one hand to run her fingers through her hair. She kept an eye on the road, kind of nervous about crashing Freddie’s fancy car.
"Wherever you want to." He smiled and glanced over at her, his blue eyes startling. She wasn’t as nervous as she could have been, possibly because she was playing at this like a game. Not with Freddie, not with herself, but with this date, playing at romantic comedy cliches.
They drove into town and parked on the side of damp road, the slick cobblestones making Freddie’s boots less adorable and more practical. He caught her hand and took her up and down the alleys. It drizzled twice but they hid under stoops and in doorways, Freddie’s arm close around her.
She wondered, briefly and ridiculously, if he could smell Kate on her.
They browsed through a tiny shop filled with candy and he bought her a sweet apple, licked at the side when he thought she wasn’t looking and then laughed. They walked back to the car and drove to the end of the road, out past the shops and stores and onto the rocks where the waves crept onto land. He pulled a blanket from the trunk and helped her across the slippery ground, tangled their fingers together.
Poppy shared a blanket with him and thought about sharing a blanket with Kate, slightly uneasy about his arm around his waist. About this strange role replacement. He asked about California and she waxed poetic, told him about the beaches with warm sun and bathing suits, about palm trees, and managed to remind herself of why she wanted to go back in the first place. The wind was too chilly suddenly and she told him she was hungry.
He hopped up, offering his hand, and started on about his favorite restaurant. She let him drive back into town and hold the door open for her, and then she let him kiss her at their table, kind of enjoyed the thrill of his lips on hers- but then felt terribly guilty. It ate at her, in a way she hadn’t expected. This was all a means to an end, she told herself, but it wasn’t entirely. It was the flattering knowledge that Freddie wanted her, over every girl at school, over Harriet.
It wasn’t right, the twisted reasons behind the whole date, but she kissed him sweetly on the cheek when he dropped her off at school. She wondered, as she darted out of the car, if he tasted Kate when he kissed her.
Poppy unwrapped her scarf as she pounded up the stairs to her room. Freddie’s kiss still burned against her lips, like a brand of her betrayal- but it was her way out, right? She wasn’t ready to see Kate, but she kind of thought she’d never be. The door was unlocked and she pushed it open to find the girls sitting across from each other, waiting for her.
"Guys, guess what? You’ll never believe it…" She trailed off, registering the solemn faces on her friends. They stared at her and Poppy finally found Kate’s eyes, hard and cold. "What happened?" Poppy asked.
"Dear Ruby…" Kate started and her voice was shockingly icy. She glanced down at a sheet of paper Poppy hadn’t noticed before. "You can't imagine how retarded these idiots are." Poppy’s eyes widened. "They're a bunch of ugly losers who think a mani-pedi is a Latin greeting. I despise these village idiots but I have to pretend to like them…" Kate’s voice caught, her fingers tightening on the paper, but she continued in monotone. "…so they'll help me get out of this hellhole. I tried doing it on my own and it was impossible. …" Her voice trailed off and she refused to look at Poppy, who was at a loss. She handed the paper off to Drippy.
"Still, they're so thick they'll never realize." Drippy continued, her voice cold. "I'll be out of this asylum by the end of term." Poppy was speechless for a moment under the glares of her roommates.
"I didn’t write that- well hardly any of that-" Poppy amended. "-the loser part, but that was weeks ago." Josie took the paper from Drippy and glared.
"Well, it's dated today and it's from your email address." Josie said.
"Where’d you get it?" Poppy asked helplessly.
"It was taped to the door. " Camilla answered. The girls stared at Poppy, as if asking for explanations or expecting affirmations. Poppy was speechless, her guilt mixed with confusion.
"You’re seriously a horridious cow." Drippy said, standing up and pushing past Poppy toward the door. Josie and Camilla stood up to follow.
"Come on guys, you have to believe me!" Poppy called, turning toward them.
"Just forget it, okay?" Camilla muttered before shutting the door behind them. Poppy folded her arms across her chest and turned back to Kate. She had been searching for a reaction from the girl but now that she had it she couldn’t imagine anything worse. Kate wasn’t glaring, just staring coldly.
"Why would you do that?" She asked, standing up and moving closer. Poppy’s mouth hung open.
"You can’t believe I actually wrote this." Poppy said.
"All we did was try to make your life here happier, Poppy." Kate moved around her and toward the door. "I thought we were friends."
Poppy stood helplessly in the middle of their room, her arms wrapped around her waist. She glanced at the door after Kate shut it, biting her lip at the instinct to chase down the blonde, held in place by the injured look in her eyes.
/\/\/\/
They made it through dinner in silence, Poppy isolated by Josie on her right and Drippy’s unforgiving face across from her. Kate sat farther down bench, out of Poppy’s sight. Poppy didn’t eat, just pushed around her vegetables, built a tiny, destructive volcano of mashed potatoes and some unidentifiable meat. She stole glances at Freddie two tables over, who’d gotten a similar note and reacted almost identically.
Poppy had no idea who’d done it, but if she had one guess she’d say Harriet the head girl who hadn’t appreciated the prank aimed her way. Hadn’t appreciated anything about Poppy.
They finished dinner, migrated to their room, did homework in semi-silence. Silence as far as Poppy went, anyway. She slipped away to the bathroom when she saw Kate go and cornered the girl by the sinks, shifting from foot to foot.
"Kate."
"Go away, Poppy." Kate said, glancing at her in the mirror. Her face was tired- drained, maybe- and Poppy paused but had to continue.
"Kate, that wasn’t-"
"Why should I believe that? When all you’ve ever wanted is to get out of here, even after- It makes sense, doesn’t it? You really just hate us." Kate braced her hands along the sink and stared down. "What I don’t get is-" She stopped herself, lifting her eyes to the ceiling. Poppy took two steps closer. "I don’t-"
She couldn’t finish her sentence. The lights in the bathroom flickered and she glanced down to meet Poppy’s wide eyes in the mirror.
"Why would you do that to me?" Kate finally asked and Poppy could see the glimmer of tears in Kate’s eyes. It broke her heart.
"It was never about that, Kate." Poppy said, but she felt inexperienced and terrible at this. She felt Freddie’s lips against hers and knew she’d fucked up.
"I hope this thing with Freddie works out, Poppy." Kate said, and she turned away with her bag in her hand, trying to brush past Poppy quickly. Poppy caught her arm though, held her in place while her brain stuttered to a stop. Kate waited for a moment, then another, but finally sighed.
"I-" Poppy started, but Kate was out the door and down the hall and the sentence died in her throat.
/\/\/\
Poppy pressed her face into the musty curtains and shut her eyes, but she was too tired to cry. She felt a little hopeless, mostly stuck. She kept hoping the whole thing would blow over. She kept seeing the way tears pooled in Kate’s eyes and the resulting clench of her heart. She opened her eyes but stared at the wall and avoided the sky.
Something fell out of her pocket, clinking to the floor, and she glanced down. Her old lighter, emblazoned with her initials, glinted on the floor. She reached for it with frozen fingers and flicked it to life, watching the flame dart out between the metal. It lit up her face, warmed her fingers, and then heat rushed at her and she jerked away. The musty curtains were aflame and she scrambled to her feet, beat at the cloth hurriedly. The fire flamed out quickly, nothing but ashes and the rank smell of burnt velvet. She was gasping, her adrenaline pumping, and she darted away before she had to face her stupidity.
Everyone was asleep when she crept back into the room, the lighter stowed suspiciously in her back pocket. She crossed the room and dove under the covers, shivering against the cool sheets. It was stupid- she was so stupid. She shut her eyes quickly and pulled the lighter out. Hesitating briefly, she finally leaned out of bed and tucked it into her school shoe.
A few feet away, Kate shifted softly in her bed and Poppy looked up. She couldn’t help staring, although the dark blurred her vision and she had to squint to make out Kate’s sleeping form. She wondered, for fifteen minutes or an hour, what the other girl would do if she climbed under the sheets with her, pressed her nose along Kate’s neck. Freak the fuck out, probably. Poppy bit her lip and turned away.
Outside, she heard the loud split of broken glass and the resulting tinkle along the cement. She was out of bed in a second, her feet icy against the cold floor, her nose pressed to the window. Across the courtyard, the kitchen window was shattered and a fiery blaze roared from within. Her eyes widened. Spinning around, she dove onto Kate’s bed.
"Kate." She said, shaking the other girl. "Kate, wake up." The blonde started to shift and Poppy hopped off, sprinted over to Josie’s bed. "Get up, Josie- fire!" She shook the girl’s shoulder and then pounded over to the door, threw it open. "Fire!" She yelled and ran to the next room, pounding on the door, feeling slightly ridiculous and terribly afraid. She threw her hand on the fire alarm and yanked down, sending a wailing noise throughout the building. She turned to find Kate hovering behind her with sleepy eyes and tousled hair.
"Are you-" Poppy interrupted her with a nod and Kate disappeared into the rush of girls stumbling down the stairs in their pajamas.
"Oh god." Poppy mumbled.
/\/\/\/
The next morning was a blur of embarrassment and stupidity, a blur of humiliation with Mrs. Kingsley and the burn of tears in the back of her throat. She placed the lighter in front of the headmistress and tried valiantly to meet her eyes. She knew the honor court was only a formality now, knew her time at Abbey Mount was over. She was suddenly, sickeningly sad to go.
The door to the head’s office shut quietly behind her and she glanced up into the hall. Kate was walking past quickly and Poppy didn’t speak for a moment, watched her run away.
"I told her it was me." Poppy finally said, stopping Kate in her tracks. The girl turned around and her eyes were as cold as they had been the night before. "I’m going to the honor court and then I’ll be leaving." Poppy glanced down at the paper rolled in her hands. "So, this is for you." She held it out toward the blonde, but Kate didn’t react.
"Well done, you finally got what you wanted." Kate said coldly. "You must be overjoyed."
"I couldn’t be more unhappy." Poppy admitted pathetically, but Kate’s eyes didn’t soften, her body didn’t relax.
"Please. Give it a rest." She turned and left without bothering to take the paper Poppy offered her. Poppy sighed and leaned back against the wall, past the point of tears.
She sat on the steps out front as she waited for Mrs. Kingsley to call the honor court to session and stared at the mostly clear sky. It was cooler and the rain had been gone for the past week. Figured. She tugged her sleeves down over her fingers. She was leaving- finally leaving, and a part of her felt relieved, resigned. She was mostly disappointed and a little frustrated. A runner found her soon after that and she sat through honor court, through Harriet’s crap and Mrs. Kingsley’s disappointed eyes.
It was annoying, until she saw Kat, Josie, Drippy, and Camilla creep into their empty seats at the back of the hall and start whispering. She frowned, but there wasn’t much else they could do to her. She watched as the whole hall began to buzz, almost overtaking Harriet’s nasally drone. Then, she caught Kate’s eyes from across the room and the other girl smiled sweetly, apologetically, and Poppy’s heart squeezed. She kind of knew it would be okay then.
Soon, it all came out, Harriet sputtering awkwardly, Mrs. Kingsley’s surprised eyes and the truth Poppy had known. There was Harriet’s admission of her involvement in the fire and her blazing eyes, the whole school leaping to Poppy’s defense, the girls rushing to her. There was a moment when Kate’s arms were wrapped around her and all Poppy could think was: this is right.
They gathered in their room, all piled on Poppy’s bed, and apologized and apologized and Poppy almost cried. There was the huge lacrosse game tomorrow and the way they felt like best friends again. Things fell back into place like they’d never broken apart. Poppy was dazed.
Poppy and Kate crept off together under the premise of taking baths and Kate cornered her by the shower and kissed her senseless, apologizing into her skin, along her jaw. Poppy just smiled and kissed her back fiercely, grateful that this one thing had survived, was back in her heart, along her skin.
They climbed into side-by-side baths thick with bubbles and Poppy dunked her head under, came up with bubbles in her nose and Kate laughed as she tried to sneeze them out. They splashed, a little, and Kate walked her hand along the adjoining sides of their tubs until Poppy’s fingers crept up to capture hers. They lay in their warm baths and Poppy tilted her head back against the edge of the tub, reveling in her stuttering heart and the quiver in her stomach.
"Poppy." Kate said finally, when the baths had started to cool and their fingers were dried in the steamy air. Poppy opened her eyes and turned her head to find Kate regarding her seriously. "Come here." She said, and she scooted back in the bath. Poppy’s heart stopped, but she rose a little, trailing bubbles, and slid over the inches separating them until she was in Kate’s tub, pressed along her.
Poppy sighed, softly, and tilted her head until it rested on Kate’s collarbone, and the blonde pressed a kiss into her damp hair.
/\/\/\
The crowd chanted and cried and clapped until Poppy couldn’t listen anymore and they turned into a ringing in her ears and a thunder along the ground. She was sweaty and smiling and playing as best she could, spinning through the other team’s players.
Then, she scored, and it kind of felt unreal.
They won. They won the championship- Abbey Mount won.
She was pulled on top of shoulders, hugged tightly by her teammates; curled into Kate’s familiar embrace for one second, into Josie’s the next. Someone handed her a trophy and they formed lines for a picture, Poppy’s happy grin never fading. The excitement slowed a little a moment later and she took a breath, turning to find her father standing a few feet away.
"Dad!" She grinned and sprinted across the grass to dive into his arms. They talked, both grinning, both ridiculously proud, until her teammates stole her away. She caught Freddie’s eye across the field and he smiled. She was washed in relief, suddenly, letting it all come down on her. She was still at Abbey Mount, still with Kate, still loved by her family.
She wrapped her arms around her friends and tried really, really hard not to cry.
/\/\/\
They flew out the summer after term- five Brits and one Malibu princess. Freddie played tag along and shared a seat with Josie. They seemed to be hitting it off rather well, so of course Camilla and Drippy sat in the seats behind them and sang embarrassing tunes for the seven-hour flight. Poppy and Kate twined their fingers together over the armrest and watched the clouds fly by. There was a moment when they were only a couple million miles and one white-hot star away from forever.
When Poppy woke the next morning she blinked and looked around the unfamiliar room, her hands traveling along the huge bed she slept in. Her fingers found a warm body and that made sense- Kate, of course. She squinted until her eyes adjusted to blinding sun and found herself in her bedroom. She yawned and leaned up on her elbows, eyes taking in almost familiar sights, images she had missed over the past year.
Kate lay sleeping beside her, blonde hair tousled beautifully against the pillow, hand resting on her stomach. Poppy’s breath caught, stupidly, and she smiled. Leaning closer, she laid her lips along Kate’s forehead and the girl shifted, turning into Poppy’s kiss. Poppy didn’t think she’d ever seen something so soft and beautiful. She sat up, yawned again, and stretched her arms high over her head.
Pushing the sheets off her legs, she padded across the room to the picture window staring out over the ocean. The sight was painfully familiar and she smiled again, taking it all in, the hot sun, the sea gulls, the pounding surf.
"G’morning." Kate said in her adorable, early morning British accent and Poppy turned, already grinning.
Part II.
Poppy was counting the days.
Not out loud, not on a calendar, but cautiously in her mind like preparation for an interview, for a family reunion, for the start of school. She was some sort of excited, tempered with hesitation and regret.
She could see Kate counting, too.
Never out loud and never on a calendar, but with each measured kiss along her stomach. With each slightly frantic snog behind the tech building. Kate counted with undone buttons and discarded shoes.
Poppy was beginning to reconsider. It was a dangerous thing, this reconsidering, because it would lead to regret either way. She as beginning to reconsider a life with Ruby and no Kate. A life with sun and no rain- okay, that part wasn’t much of a debate. The Kate thing was.
Five days before, Josie brought it up during lunch and Poppy shrugged away the question, much too the Josie’s surprise.
"But it’s your ticket out!" Josie exclaimed, dropping her fork to the side. She dropped her voice. "And it’s Freddie…" She teased, a small smile playing on the corner of her mouth. Poppy managed to return it, but she simply shrugged.
"We’ll see." She said.
Four days before, Kate caught her hand as they passed between classes and pulled her to the side of the hallway.
"I know you have to." She said, and Poppy hesitated, totally confused for a moment. Her brain kicked in a minute later and she frowned.
"Kate-"
"No, it’s okay." Kate said, going for a smile and ending up with something heartbreaking. "It’s okay." She disappeared into the crowd.
Three days before, Camilla threw her down on the bed and shoved her freshly dried trunk out in the middle of the room.
"What on earth on you going to where?" Camilla worried, digging through Poppy’s light skirts and tank tops. She frowned, perplexed, and shut the trunk. "Plan B." She announced, and moved over to the chest of drawers.
Two days before, Poppy drew tiny circles along Kate’s stomach as they lay in the grass. She tangled her legs with the blonde’s and sighed softly.
"Kate, I don’t think I-" She stopped mid-sentence, kind of terrified of the unbidden words leaving her mouth. Kate waited, holding her breath, but Poppy’s fingers started moving again. She wrote Poppy along Kate’s stomach until the girl caught her fingers and tangled them with her own. It rained that night and they had to sprint back to the main building, gasping and laughing under the damp attack.
The day before, Poppy couldn’t sleep. She rolled onto her side and watched Kate, rolled back over and watched the sky. She shut her eyes and buried her face under the pillow. She stuck her feet out the bottom of the covers, pulled them back in, curled one out, then twisted onto her arm.
She didn’t want to leave. She wanted the possibility of leaving.
She was kind of in love with Kate.
/\/\/\
Freddie was adorable in his thick rain boots and floppy hair, his eyes shining under the dreary sun. He was comfortable in the seat beside her, his arm hanging out of the car, cutting through the wind and the mist. Poppy thought she saw him wince when his car ground out its protest at Poppy's lack of gear-shifting, but the expression was gone a moment later.
"Where are we going?" Poppy asked, lifting one hand to run her fingers through her hair. She kept an eye on the road, kind of nervous about crashing Freddie’s fancy car.
"Wherever you want to." He smiled and glanced over at her, his blue eyes startling. She wasn’t as nervous as she could have been, possibly because she was playing at this like a game. Not with Freddie, not with herself, but with this date, playing at romantic comedy cliches.
They drove into town and parked on the side of damp road, the slick cobblestones making Freddie’s boots less adorable and more practical. He caught her hand and took her up and down the alleys. It drizzled twice but they hid under stoops and in doorways, Freddie’s arm close around her.
She wondered, briefly and ridiculously, if he could smell Kate on her.
They browsed through a tiny shop filled with candy and he bought her a sweet apple, licked at the side when he thought she wasn’t looking and then laughed. They walked back to the car and drove to the end of the road, out past the shops and stores and onto the rocks where the waves crept onto land. He pulled a blanket from the trunk and helped her across the slippery ground, tangled their fingers together.
Poppy shared a blanket with him and thought about sharing a blanket with Kate, slightly uneasy about his arm around his waist. About this strange role replacement. He asked about California and she waxed poetic, told him about the beaches with warm sun and bathing suits, about palm trees, and managed to remind herself of why she wanted to go back in the first place. The wind was too chilly suddenly and she told him she was hungry.
He hopped up, offering his hand, and started on about his favorite restaurant. She let him drive back into town and hold the door open for her, and then she let him kiss her at their table, kind of enjoyed the thrill of his lips on hers- but then felt terribly guilty. It ate at her, in a way she hadn’t expected. This was all a means to an end, she told herself, but it wasn’t entirely. It was the flattering knowledge that Freddie wanted her, over every girl at school, over Harriet.
It wasn’t right, the twisted reasons behind the whole date, but she kissed him sweetly on the cheek when he dropped her off at school. She wondered, as she darted out of the car, if he tasted Kate when he kissed her.
Poppy unwrapped her scarf as she pounded up the stairs to her room. Freddie’s kiss still burned against her lips, like a brand of her betrayal- but it was her way out, right? She wasn’t ready to see Kate, but she kind of thought she’d never be. The door was unlocked and she pushed it open to find the girls sitting across from each other, waiting for her.
"Guys, guess what? You’ll never believe it…" She trailed off, registering the solemn faces on her friends. They stared at her and Poppy finally found Kate’s eyes, hard and cold. "What happened?" Poppy asked.
"Dear Ruby…" Kate started and her voice was shockingly icy. She glanced down at a sheet of paper Poppy hadn’t noticed before. "You can't imagine how retarded these idiots are." Poppy’s eyes widened. "They're a bunch of ugly losers who think a mani-pedi is a Latin greeting. I despise these village idiots but I have to pretend to like them…" Kate’s voice caught, her fingers tightening on the paper, but she continued in monotone. "…so they'll help me get out of this hellhole. I tried doing it on my own and it was impossible. …" Her voice trailed off and she refused to look at Poppy, who was at a loss. She handed the paper off to Drippy.
"Still, they're so thick they'll never realize." Drippy continued, her voice cold. "I'll be out of this asylum by the end of term." Poppy was speechless for a moment under the glares of her roommates.
"I didn’t write that- well hardly any of that-" Poppy amended. "-the loser part, but that was weeks ago." Josie took the paper from Drippy and glared.
"Well, it's dated today and it's from your email address." Josie said.
"Where’d you get it?" Poppy asked helplessly.
"It was taped to the door. " Camilla answered. The girls stared at Poppy, as if asking for explanations or expecting affirmations. Poppy was speechless, her guilt mixed with confusion.
"You’re seriously a horridious cow." Drippy said, standing up and pushing past Poppy toward the door. Josie and Camilla stood up to follow.
"Come on guys, you have to believe me!" Poppy called, turning toward them.
"Just forget it, okay?" Camilla muttered before shutting the door behind them. Poppy folded her arms across her chest and turned back to Kate. She had been searching for a reaction from the girl but now that she had it she couldn’t imagine anything worse. Kate wasn’t glaring, just staring coldly.
"Why would you do that?" She asked, standing up and moving closer. Poppy’s mouth hung open.
"You can’t believe I actually wrote this." Poppy said.
"All we did was try to make your life here happier, Poppy." Kate moved around her and toward the door. "I thought we were friends."
Poppy stood helplessly in the middle of their room, her arms wrapped around her waist. She glanced at the door after Kate shut it, biting her lip at the instinct to chase down the blonde, held in place by the injured look in her eyes.
/\/\/\/
They made it through dinner in silence, Poppy isolated by Josie on her right and Drippy’s unforgiving face across from her. Kate sat farther down bench, out of Poppy’s sight. Poppy didn’t eat, just pushed around her vegetables, built a tiny, destructive volcano of mashed potatoes and some unidentifiable meat. She stole glances at Freddie two tables over, who’d gotten a similar note and reacted almost identically.
Poppy had no idea who’d done it, but if she had one guess she’d say Harriet the head girl who hadn’t appreciated the prank aimed her way. Hadn’t appreciated anything about Poppy.
They finished dinner, migrated to their room, did homework in semi-silence. Silence as far as Poppy went, anyway. She slipped away to the bathroom when she saw Kate go and cornered the girl by the sinks, shifting from foot to foot.
"Kate."
"Go away, Poppy." Kate said, glancing at her in the mirror. Her face was tired- drained, maybe- and Poppy paused but had to continue.
"Kate, that wasn’t-"
"Why should I believe that? When all you’ve ever wanted is to get out of here, even after- It makes sense, doesn’t it? You really just hate us." Kate braced her hands along the sink and stared down. "What I don’t get is-" She stopped herself, lifting her eyes to the ceiling. Poppy took two steps closer. "I don’t-"
She couldn’t finish her sentence. The lights in the bathroom flickered and she glanced down to meet Poppy’s wide eyes in the mirror.
"Why would you do that to me?" Kate finally asked and Poppy could see the glimmer of tears in Kate’s eyes. It broke her heart.
"It was never about that, Kate." Poppy said, but she felt inexperienced and terrible at this. She felt Freddie’s lips against hers and knew she’d fucked up.
"I hope this thing with Freddie works out, Poppy." Kate said, and she turned away with her bag in her hand, trying to brush past Poppy quickly. Poppy caught her arm though, held her in place while her brain stuttered to a stop. Kate waited for a moment, then another, but finally sighed.
"I-" Poppy started, but Kate was out the door and down the hall and the sentence died in her throat.
/\/\/\
Poppy pressed her face into the musty curtains and shut her eyes, but she was too tired to cry. She felt a little hopeless, mostly stuck. She kept hoping the whole thing would blow over. She kept seeing the way tears pooled in Kate’s eyes and the resulting clench of her heart. She opened her eyes but stared at the wall and avoided the sky.
Something fell out of her pocket, clinking to the floor, and she glanced down. Her old lighter, emblazoned with her initials, glinted on the floor. She reached for it with frozen fingers and flicked it to life, watching the flame dart out between the metal. It lit up her face, warmed her fingers, and then heat rushed at her and she jerked away. The musty curtains were aflame and she scrambled to her feet, beat at the cloth hurriedly. The fire flamed out quickly, nothing but ashes and the rank smell of burnt velvet. She was gasping, her adrenaline pumping, and she darted away before she had to face her stupidity.
Everyone was asleep when she crept back into the room, the lighter stowed suspiciously in her back pocket. She crossed the room and dove under the covers, shivering against the cool sheets. It was stupid- she was so stupid. She shut her eyes quickly and pulled the lighter out. Hesitating briefly, she finally leaned out of bed and tucked it into her school shoe.
A few feet away, Kate shifted softly in her bed and Poppy looked up. She couldn’t help staring, although the dark blurred her vision and she had to squint to make out Kate’s sleeping form. She wondered, for fifteen minutes or an hour, what the other girl would do if she climbed under the sheets with her, pressed her nose along Kate’s neck. Freak the fuck out, probably. Poppy bit her lip and turned away.
Outside, she heard the loud split of broken glass and the resulting tinkle along the cement. She was out of bed in a second, her feet icy against the cold floor, her nose pressed to the window. Across the courtyard, the kitchen window was shattered and a fiery blaze roared from within. Her eyes widened. Spinning around, she dove onto Kate’s bed.
"Kate." She said, shaking the other girl. "Kate, wake up." The blonde started to shift and Poppy hopped off, sprinted over to Josie’s bed. "Get up, Josie- fire!" She shook the girl’s shoulder and then pounded over to the door, threw it open. "Fire!" She yelled and ran to the next room, pounding on the door, feeling slightly ridiculous and terribly afraid. She threw her hand on the fire alarm and yanked down, sending a wailing noise throughout the building. She turned to find Kate hovering behind her with sleepy eyes and tousled hair.
"Are you-" Poppy interrupted her with a nod and Kate disappeared into the rush of girls stumbling down the stairs in their pajamas.
"Oh god." Poppy mumbled.
/\/\/\/
The next morning was a blur of embarrassment and stupidity, a blur of humiliation with Mrs. Kingsley and the burn of tears in the back of her throat. She placed the lighter in front of the headmistress and tried valiantly to meet her eyes. She knew the honor court was only a formality now, knew her time at Abbey Mount was over. She was suddenly, sickeningly sad to go.
The door to the head’s office shut quietly behind her and she glanced up into the hall. Kate was walking past quickly and Poppy didn’t speak for a moment, watched her run away.
"I told her it was me." Poppy finally said, stopping Kate in her tracks. The girl turned around and her eyes were as cold as they had been the night before. "I’m going to the honor court and then I’ll be leaving." Poppy glanced down at the paper rolled in her hands. "So, this is for you." She held it out toward the blonde, but Kate didn’t react.
"Well done, you finally got what you wanted." Kate said coldly. "You must be overjoyed."
"I couldn’t be more unhappy." Poppy admitted pathetically, but Kate’s eyes didn’t soften, her body didn’t relax.
"Please. Give it a rest." She turned and left without bothering to take the paper Poppy offered her. Poppy sighed and leaned back against the wall, past the point of tears.
She sat on the steps out front as she waited for Mrs. Kingsley to call the honor court to session and stared at the mostly clear sky. It was cooler and the rain had been gone for the past week. Figured. She tugged her sleeves down over her fingers. She was leaving- finally leaving, and a part of her felt relieved, resigned. She was mostly disappointed and a little frustrated. A runner found her soon after that and she sat through honor court, through Harriet’s crap and Mrs. Kingsley’s disappointed eyes.
It was annoying, until she saw Kat, Josie, Drippy, and Camilla creep into their empty seats at the back of the hall and start whispering. She frowned, but there wasn’t much else they could do to her. She watched as the whole hall began to buzz, almost overtaking Harriet’s nasally drone. Then, she caught Kate’s eyes from across the room and the other girl smiled sweetly, apologetically, and Poppy’s heart squeezed. She kind of knew it would be okay then.
Soon, it all came out, Harriet sputtering awkwardly, Mrs. Kingsley’s surprised eyes and the truth Poppy had known. There was Harriet’s admission of her involvement in the fire and her blazing eyes, the whole school leaping to Poppy’s defense, the girls rushing to her. There was a moment when Kate’s arms were wrapped around her and all Poppy could think was: this is right.
They gathered in their room, all piled on Poppy’s bed, and apologized and apologized and Poppy almost cried. There was the huge lacrosse game tomorrow and the way they felt like best friends again. Things fell back into place like they’d never broken apart. Poppy was dazed.
Poppy and Kate crept off together under the premise of taking baths and Kate cornered her by the shower and kissed her senseless, apologizing into her skin, along her jaw. Poppy just smiled and kissed her back fiercely, grateful that this one thing had survived, was back in her heart, along her skin.
They climbed into side-by-side baths thick with bubbles and Poppy dunked her head under, came up with bubbles in her nose and Kate laughed as she tried to sneeze them out. They splashed, a little, and Kate walked her hand along the adjoining sides of their tubs until Poppy’s fingers crept up to capture hers. They lay in their warm baths and Poppy tilted her head back against the edge of the tub, reveling in her stuttering heart and the quiver in her stomach.
"Poppy." Kate said finally, when the baths had started to cool and their fingers were dried in the steamy air. Poppy opened her eyes and turned her head to find Kate regarding her seriously. "Come here." She said, and she scooted back in the bath. Poppy’s heart stopped, but she rose a little, trailing bubbles, and slid over the inches separating them until she was in Kate’s tub, pressed along her.
Poppy sighed, softly, and tilted her head until it rested on Kate’s collarbone, and the blonde pressed a kiss into her damp hair.
/\/\/\
The crowd chanted and cried and clapped until Poppy couldn’t listen anymore and they turned into a ringing in her ears and a thunder along the ground. She was sweaty and smiling and playing as best she could, spinning through the other team’s players.
Then, she scored, and it kind of felt unreal.
They won. They won the championship- Abbey Mount won.
She was pulled on top of shoulders, hugged tightly by her teammates; curled into Kate’s familiar embrace for one second, into Josie’s the next. Someone handed her a trophy and they formed lines for a picture, Poppy’s happy grin never fading. The excitement slowed a little a moment later and she took a breath, turning to find her father standing a few feet away.
"Dad!" She grinned and sprinted across the grass to dive into his arms. They talked, both grinning, both ridiculously proud, until her teammates stole her away. She caught Freddie’s eye across the field and he smiled. She was washed in relief, suddenly, letting it all come down on her. She was still at Abbey Mount, still with Kate, still loved by her family.
She wrapped her arms around her friends and tried really, really hard not to cry.
/\/\/\
They flew out the summer after term- five Brits and one Malibu princess. Freddie played tag along and shared a seat with Josie. They seemed to be hitting it off rather well, so of course Camilla and Drippy sat in the seats behind them and sang embarrassing tunes for the seven-hour flight. Poppy and Kate twined their fingers together over the armrest and watched the clouds fly by. There was a moment when they were only a couple million miles and one white-hot star away from forever.
When Poppy woke the next morning she blinked and looked around the unfamiliar room, her hands traveling along the huge bed she slept in. Her fingers found a warm body and that made sense- Kate, of course. She squinted until her eyes adjusted to blinding sun and found herself in her bedroom. She yawned and leaned up on her elbows, eyes taking in almost familiar sights, images she had missed over the past year.
Kate lay sleeping beside her, blonde hair tousled beautifully against the pillow, hand resting on her stomach. Poppy’s breath caught, stupidly, and she smiled. Leaning closer, she laid her lips along Kate’s forehead and the girl shifted, turning into Poppy’s kiss. Poppy didn’t think she’d ever seen something so soft and beautiful. She sat up, yawned again, and stretched her arms high over her head.
Pushing the sheets off her legs, she padded across the room to the picture window staring out over the ocean. The sight was painfully familiar and she smiled again, taking it all in, the hot sun, the sea gulls, the pounding surf.
"G’morning." Kate said in her adorable, early morning British accent and Poppy turned, already grinning.