fifteen | Your friendly neighborhood paperboy does whatever a paperboy can

[strike_you_out]

[ Mayfield has a new paperboy. One who would much rather beat you to death with your own newspaper than deliver it to you. And above all, he would personally like to bludgeon whomever is in charge of these ridiculous job assignments.]

[Phone | Unfiltered ]

I don't want to be a paperboy.

But if Mayfield wants its newspapers, then Mayfield will get

Comments

B

[velvet_cake]

[He's just sleeping on the couch, because who the hell gets up at 5:30 am.]

[strike_you_out]

[In another minute, you.

The backrest of the sofa creaks quietly as something fairly heavy settles upon it. Once seated, the intruder stares down at the sleeping man---or is it a boy? A lady? Whatever, he stares for nearly a whole minute before opening a page of a newspaper and teeeeaaaring it in two. At this ungodly hour, the sound is obscenely loud...]

[velvet_cake]

[Yeah, sometimes it's hard to tell with Waver.]

[At the sound of tearing paper, he jerked awake.]

--Eh?

[strike_you_out]

[It happens again at very close range and large pieces of shredded newspaper begin to rain down over the couch.]

[velvet_cake]

[...what]

[what is this i don't even]

[this is not someone who is supposed to be in his house]

[SCREAM]

[and thud as Waver falls off the couch.]

[strike_you_out]

[Slugger continues to sit there and crumple up another sheet of newspaper which he then tosses in Waver's direction.]

Morning~

[Griiinnn.]

[velvet_cake]

[The paper ball bounces off of Waver's forehead.]

W-who the hell are you?!

[strike_you_out]

The paperboy.

[Said so casually.]