(no subject)
I'm trying so hard to keep my head above water and yet the weight of my tears are forcing me to sink.
I'm trying to maintain postive. Things will be okay. I'll get through this. It'll pass. Things will change and I'll be able to breathe... but right now, it's so hard. It's been one thing after another this past week... and I don't know how to make the tears stop and I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm almost entirely out of money. I spent my summer becoming an EMT. I'm a nationally registered EMT and I can't get a job as one and I can't get a job in a hospital. I've had a total of five different interviews. Two at one hospital, one at that sister hospital, one at UMC, and one at St. Joe's. No job. I just got another "we hate you" email from my most recent interview. I've been applying at hospitals since August. If I weren't getting interviews, it'd be one thing... but here I am, putting my hope and anticipation into interview after interview... only to get blown off. I can't afford gas. I'd die if I didn't still live at home...
And now I'm not sure how much longer the boy and I will last. If at all. I'm trying to hope. I'm trying not to be scared. Things will be fine... we just have to work at it. Right? I wish someone could just tell me that things will be okay. They will, won't they? I'm trying to tell myself that they will. I don't want to lose him.
Liz and I were supposed to have a girl's night. She got over worked.
People keep coming to me with their problems. I'm glad I'm easy to talk to. I just wish I could really offer any help to these people.
I won't even get in to school. This past week has been crazy there, too.
Does it always have to fill like everything piles up all at once?
I'm trying... that's all I can do.
I'm trying to maintain postive. Things will be okay. I'll get through this. It'll pass. Things will change and I'll be able to breathe... but right now, it's so hard. It's been one thing after another this past week... and I don't know how to make the tears stop and I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm almost entirely out of money. I spent my summer becoming an EMT. I'm a nationally registered EMT and I can't get a job as one and I can't get a job in a hospital. I've had a total of five different interviews. Two at one hospital, one at that sister hospital, one at UMC, and one at St. Joe's. No job. I just got another "we hate you" email from my most recent interview. I've been applying at hospitals since August. If I weren't getting interviews, it'd be one thing... but here I am, putting my hope and anticipation into interview after interview... only to get blown off. I can't afford gas. I'd die if I didn't still live at home...
And now I'm not sure how much longer the boy and I will last. If at all. I'm trying to hope. I'm trying not to be scared. Things will be fine... we just have to work at it. Right? I wish someone could just tell me that things will be okay. They will, won't they? I'm trying to tell myself that they will. I don't want to lose him.
Liz and I were supposed to have a girl's night. She got over worked.
People keep coming to me with their problems. I'm glad I'm easy to talk to. I just wish I could really offer any help to these people.
I won't even get in to school. This past week has been crazy there, too.
Does it always have to fill like everything piles up all at once?
I'm trying... that's all I can do.