regime change
So. I finally finished orientation today (with a tour of the kitchen, the uniform and the all-mighty nametag) and I start tomorrow for real.
It's weird that I have another uniform. It's the third one I need to wear regularly. I guess these places don't trust me to dress myself.
No, I kid, I kid. I guess people feel comfortable when they're surrounded by others that all look the same. It's less threatening. it's supposed to render us unable to be judged (which is not even remotely true). I've started to grow tired of it though. I mean, it's nice not having to stress over what to wear, but at the same time I really like being able to express myself in some way through my clothing. Yeah, it's stupid. It's totally superficial. But it somehow strengthens my sense of self.
And it's ironic, too, that I have another uniform. Because my life has been totally regimented. I need to plan everything out far in advance: when I'll do my homework, when people might concievably want to make plans, when I have rehearsal, when I have to go to work... I feel like I've been stripped of any spontaneousness. I can't afford it anymore.
I realize this entry makes me look totally spoiled but that's not how I mean to come off. I guess it's just disheartening to have my first real grown-up job (a camp counselor, as trying as it may be, cannot be considered as such) and realize I need to take responsibility for my own life. I can't do much on a whim anymore. It's a little disappointing.
It's weird that I have another uniform. It's the third one I need to wear regularly. I guess these places don't trust me to dress myself.
No, I kid, I kid. I guess people feel comfortable when they're surrounded by others that all look the same. It's less threatening. it's supposed to render us unable to be judged (which is not even remotely true). I've started to grow tired of it though. I mean, it's nice not having to stress over what to wear, but at the same time I really like being able to express myself in some way through my clothing. Yeah, it's stupid. It's totally superficial. But it somehow strengthens my sense of self.
And it's ironic, too, that I have another uniform. Because my life has been totally regimented. I need to plan everything out far in advance: when I'll do my homework, when people might concievably want to make plans, when I have rehearsal, when I have to go to work... I feel like I've been stripped of any spontaneousness. I can't afford it anymore.
I realize this entry makes me look totally spoiled but that's not how I mean to come off. I guess it's just disheartening to have my first real grown-up job (a camp counselor, as trying as it may be, cannot be considered as such) and realize I need to take responsibility for my own life. I can't do much on a whim anymore. It's a little disappointing.