006.
Dragons?
... But so few attacks. They don't seem like the normal variety.
Perhaps it would be worth bringing one in for study.
So much as looking at them makes me homesick. I've become a foolish man.
Attention Shinra Employees.
No doubt you've been thoroughly enjoying this week's obstacle course I deigned to implement in your jogging route. Well done! I didn't even have to deal with any fatal or permanently disfiguring injuries. Keep this up, and perhaps we won't have anyone off on disability or death leave over this month at all. You've made me very proud.
Now. Be aware that as of next Wednesday, the course will become somewhat more... precarious. There are now puzzles required for you to pass through certain areas, and I will be sending you out in teams on several different devised routes, though the puzzle difficulty and running length will be identical for each. For the sake of the rest of Purgatorium, these routes are clearly marked and blocked off from the general public, though I've been sure to devise routes around so that nobody should have their way completely obstructed.
The first group to reach the end of their obstacle course wins a gold star on their Shinra records, and - with President Shinra's consent, of course - a possible raise of 5% of their current pay per hour for the next week.
I know. Thank me later.
I will be sorting you into teams, which I will announce before the coming Wednesday, along with your route. All routes begin at the Clock Tower and branch outwards. Please be aware that these teams and routes are non-negotiable unless there is a very good reason, such as one or more teammates having the plague or part of Purgatorium caving in on your route. I'm well aware of any disadvantage a team will be at, and I will factor that into my report and team decisions.
Additionally, if you would be interested in a... Shinra Secret Santa, I am willing to arrange one.
Thank you. Carry on.
ETA: Wiser to clarify the Secret Santa thing, I suppose. What I refer to is an anonymous gift exchange wherein I will take the names of employees in Shinra, shuffle them, and hand them out anew. You can then purchase a gift for that person. It's about the right time of year and it's an excellent team-building, morale-boosting exercise... according to my research.
ETA 2: Additionally, I must add that I will be watching you from the highest point I'm capable of during all of these exercises, and since I know how to solve said puzzles, I will not be doing any of next week's runs. Slack off, try and cut through the route in an incorrect manner, and I will put a broken heart in your Shinra file and subtract 10% of your Shinra pay for the next week. Because that is the price of heartache and betrayal.
... But so few attacks. They don't seem like the normal variety.
Perhaps it would be worth bringing one in for study.
So much as looking at them makes me homesick. I've become a foolish man.
Attention Shinra Employees.
No doubt you've been thoroughly enjoying this week's obstacle course I deigned to implement in your jogging route. Well done! I didn't even have to deal with any fatal or permanently disfiguring injuries. Keep this up, and perhaps we won't have anyone off on disability or death leave over this month at all. You've made me very proud.
Now. Be aware that as of next Wednesday, the course will become somewhat more... precarious. There are now puzzles required for you to pass through certain areas, and I will be sending you out in teams on several different devised routes, though the puzzle difficulty and running length will be identical for each. For the sake of the rest of Purgatorium, these routes are clearly marked and blocked off from the general public, though I've been sure to devise routes around so that nobody should have their way completely obstructed.
The first group to reach the end of their obstacle course wins a gold star on their Shinra records, and - with President Shinra's consent, of course - a possible raise of 5% of their current pay per hour for the next week.
I know. Thank me later.
I will be sorting you into teams, which I will announce before the coming Wednesday, along with your route. All routes begin at the Clock Tower and branch outwards. Please be aware that these teams and routes are non-negotiable unless there is a very good reason, such as one or more teammates having the plague or part of Purgatorium caving in on your route. I'm well aware of any disadvantage a team will be at, and I will factor that into my report and team decisions.
Additionally, if you would be interested in a... Shinra Secret Santa, I am willing to arrange one.
Thank you. Carry on.
ETA: Wiser to clarify the Secret Santa thing, I suppose. What I refer to is an anonymous gift exchange wherein I will take the names of employees in Shinra, shuffle them, and hand them out anew. You can then purchase a gift for that person. It's about the right time of year and it's an excellent team-building, morale-boosting exercise... according to my research.
ETA 2: Additionally, I must add that I will be watching you from the highest point I'm capable of during all of these exercises, and since I know how to solve said puzzles, I will not be doing any of next week's runs. Slack off, try and cut through the route in an incorrect manner, and I will put a broken heart in your Shinra file and subtract 10% of your Shinra pay for the next week. Because that is the price of heartache and betrayal.