This weekend...
was fun. I didn't expect it to be but it was. I wish I could have seen Jessica. I wish Laura would have called me back. Most importantly, I saw him for the first time in 6 months. It was as if we didn't skip a beat. We had fun, laughed, said all our inside jokes and noises and motions. He said we should hang out, seriously. I said yeah totally...my mind rushing with "Is that really a good idea?" We hugged good bye and what does he whisper in my ear..."I miss you" I backed up slowly...he looks at me and said "You don't have to say anything." I looked him square in the eye and with a laugh I said "Fuck you, you asshole you know I miss you too." I mean seriously what the fuck? What is this bull shit of "you dont have to say anything" like he doesn't know that I still miss him and want to be with him and love him and then I have to remember how he broke my heart into a million fucking pieces for the girl that broke his heart and is a crying crazy bitch who's bad in bed and looks like a soccer mom... So what do I do? Do I hang out with him? Hanging out with him this weekend I just missed having someone who knows what I'm talking about and thinks it's funny... No one has any idea what I'm talking about or think it's funny for that matter when I say "Wah wah wah..." and pretend to be a bug flipped on it's back or when I make my hamster noise. The list goes on. I'm torn between the feeling of missing my best friend who gets me and missing someone whom I loved/love. I think I'm going to let him contact me. If he wants to hang out bad enough, he'll say something. I don't think I should pursue this other wise. I'd rather him just know I'm out there being awesome ;) , and hope he's missing me. I have to trust that if I was really really suppose to be with him, and let me tell you everything in my gut says I am, that it will work itself out. Maybe not soon, but at some point. Maybe. Or maybe it will pass. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.