An Epic Battle of Dracula and the Dark side
It was an epic battle of the dark side and Dracula for the one and only golden cookie. 'Tis was at the time before man, when cookie monsters roamed the earth, when marshmellow candy grew abundantly on the backs of hairy people. At the time long past where bread was not sold sliced, when neanderthals still shopped with their own bags, one man rose from the ocean, after skinny dipping with few other girls, and dried off, and slipped in the middle of the road and fell on a cockroach - who would have cause the nuclear system malfunction causing a nuclear war where everyone would be wiped out. And thus the skinny dipper got the cookie from the dracula and didn't even have to turn to the dark side to get it.