La luce che tu dai nel cuore restera
2pm today my dad and I sat in the vet's office with Herbie in her favorite box. All three of us knowing what was going to happen when I vet called us back there.
2:10pm the vet took us into the room and we laid Herbina down of the table. She was purring the loudness I have ever heard her, but she knew what was going to happen. I couldn't stand to see her like this. I thought that she was purring loud we can give her some meds and she will be fine and I could take her home with me where she belonged... not on this table... this shouldn't be where she dies.
2:20pm Herbie was sedated. Her breathing slowed down and she stopped moving around, yet she stilled continued to purr.
2:30pm the vet gave her an overdose of some medicine. Automatically she started to stop breathing.
By 2:33pm Herbie had breathed her last breath as my dad and I watched...both of us crying (actually...I was uncontrollably crying).
The vet left my dad and I alone with her until we wanted to say goodbye. I knew that I made the right choice but I cannot help thinking that she could still be alive right now, laying on my bed purring up a storm and falling asleep with me.
My heart jumped every time she moved on the table. Her involuntary muscles moving as they finally shut off. I didn't want to leave her, but I had to.
2:45pm I kissed my kitty for the last time and I took her collar off of her neck. Her eyes were still open and looking right at me as I kissed her goodbye and walked out the door with my dad.
I was the last one out of the room and as I shut the door behind me I took one last look at her, my once beautiful kitty who had grown so sick and so old that she was now just fur and bones.
I will always remember the last look. Herbie laying on the table, so still, so peaceful, but so alone.
I wanted to run back in there and hold her in my arms and pray for her to come back to me, but I couldn't, so I just shut the door.
The only time I have not cried today was the 4 hours of my first day at Blockbuster... talk about a first day. I was so numb though the whole thing that I don't really remember much of my first day.
Herbina's ashes will be ready for pick up next week. They are going to take a mold of her paw and put the ashes in that. I don't know how I am going to pick them up. I can't do it alone.
I miss her so much and I keep waiting to hear her meow outside to come in.
As I pulled into my driveway I sat there waiting for her to come and greet me like she always does... to follow me up the steps... to come inside and run to the back door so she could eat some food.
When I let Angel outside, I expected her to be underneath the cooler where she sleeps. Even Angel went over there, like she always does, and looked and sniffed and then looked back at me with her big brown eyes....sad.
I know that Angel knows she is gone because she gave Herbie a big kiss on the head before we left and Angel NEVER does that!
I keep looking around expecting to see her. I even called for her when I got home from work....then remembering today's events and started to sob in my driveway, trying to control myself.
I don't know how anyone could go through what I am going through. It is the worse thing that I have ever felt in my whole life.
Gilli....more power to you!
I am exhausted and I am going to try to control myself and hopefully I can get some sleep seeing that I couldn't sleep at all last night.
I love Herbina so much.... she was the best cat any one could ask for!
Herbina Ann Sciuto May 15, 1991- July 14, 2008 2:33pm
2:10pm the vet took us into the room and we laid Herbina down of the table. She was purring the loudness I have ever heard her, but she knew what was going to happen. I couldn't stand to see her like this. I thought that she was purring loud we can give her some meds and she will be fine and I could take her home with me where she belonged... not on this table... this shouldn't be where she dies.
2:20pm Herbie was sedated. Her breathing slowed down and she stopped moving around, yet she stilled continued to purr.
2:30pm the vet gave her an overdose of some medicine. Automatically she started to stop breathing.
By 2:33pm Herbie had breathed her last breath as my dad and I watched...both of us crying (actually...I was uncontrollably crying).
The vet left my dad and I alone with her until we wanted to say goodbye. I knew that I made the right choice but I cannot help thinking that she could still be alive right now, laying on my bed purring up a storm and falling asleep with me.
My heart jumped every time she moved on the table. Her involuntary muscles moving as they finally shut off. I didn't want to leave her, but I had to.
2:45pm I kissed my kitty for the last time and I took her collar off of her neck. Her eyes were still open and looking right at me as I kissed her goodbye and walked out the door with my dad.
I was the last one out of the room and as I shut the door behind me I took one last look at her, my once beautiful kitty who had grown so sick and so old that she was now just fur and bones.
I will always remember the last look. Herbie laying on the table, so still, so peaceful, but so alone.
I wanted to run back in there and hold her in my arms and pray for her to come back to me, but I couldn't, so I just shut the door.
The only time I have not cried today was the 4 hours of my first day at Blockbuster... talk about a first day. I was so numb though the whole thing that I don't really remember much of my first day.
Herbina's ashes will be ready for pick up next week. They are going to take a mold of her paw and put the ashes in that. I don't know how I am going to pick them up. I can't do it alone.
I miss her so much and I keep waiting to hear her meow outside to come in.
As I pulled into my driveway I sat there waiting for her to come and greet me like she always does... to follow me up the steps... to come inside and run to the back door so she could eat some food.
When I let Angel outside, I expected her to be underneath the cooler where she sleeps. Even Angel went over there, like she always does, and looked and sniffed and then looked back at me with her big brown eyes....sad.
I know that Angel knows she is gone because she gave Herbie a big kiss on the head before we left and Angel NEVER does that!
I keep looking around expecting to see her. I even called for her when I got home from work....then remembering today's events and started to sob in my driveway, trying to control myself.
I don't know how anyone could go through what I am going through. It is the worse thing that I have ever felt in my whole life.
Gilli....more power to you!
I am exhausted and I am going to try to control myself and hopefully I can get some sleep seeing that I couldn't sleep at all last night.
I love Herbina so much.... she was the best cat any one could ask for!
Herbina Ann Sciuto May 15, 1991- July 14, 2008 2:33pm