through
through
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Last night:
Pain. Kidney hurting more tonight. I did have my phone session with my therapist yesterday-it was okay. I'd never done a phone session with her-or anyone, that I can remember. Though we talked quite a bit on the phone when I was in the hospital.
We talked a bit about my pain tolerance-not feeling that too much right now. About how most people, who didn't have my capacity for tolerating and ignoring pain, would have
this morning:
I'm getting that "I want to disappaer" thing again today. Being pretty heavy. And oh, where has the time gone? It seems like it should be morning, but it's after two, now. Some of that's due to it being so hard to sleep last night, so I slept until um, ten, I think. But the morning-vanished, it seemed. I feel-unmoored. Lost. I saw my physician yesterday, in the city. It hit me on the way home *exactly how sick I am*. ALL I did was walk the fifteen minutes to the train, take it, transfer to an underground, then walk a couple blocks to see my doctor. waited there (it's a clinic, after all), saws her, and walked maybe two blocks out of my way to get a few groceries and toilet paper. If I hadn't been broke I'd have taken a cab home from the train-I literally *had* to sit down twice on the way home, and was shaky and in pain and felt like I was going to pass out by the time I got home.
My doctor took the whole thing pretty seriously, too, and told me to REALLY rest and drink a lot of water, and they're running a test to see if maybe the infection is antibiotic resistant or something, which I need to call for the results of in a few days. If so they'll have to give me different antibiotics, I guess.
Feeling kind of-blank, too.
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Last night:
Pain. Kidney hurting more tonight. I did have my phone session with my therapist yesterday-it was okay. I'd never done a phone session with her-or anyone, that I can remember. Though we talked quite a bit on the phone when I was in the hospital.
We talked a bit about my pain tolerance-not feeling that too much right now. About how most people, who didn't have my capacity for tolerating and ignoring pain, would have
this morning:
I'm getting that "I want to disappaer" thing again today. Being pretty heavy. And oh, where has the time gone? It seems like it should be morning, but it's after two, now. Some of that's due to it being so hard to sleep last night, so I slept until um, ten, I think. But the morning-vanished, it seemed. I feel-unmoored. Lost. I saw my physician yesterday, in the city. It hit me on the way home *exactly how sick I am*. ALL I did was walk the fifteen minutes to the train, take it, transfer to an underground, then walk a couple blocks to see my doctor. waited there (it's a clinic, after all), saws her, and walked maybe two blocks out of my way to get a few groceries and toilet paper. If I hadn't been broke I'd have taken a cab home from the train-I literally *had* to sit down twice on the way home, and was shaky and in pain and felt like I was going to pass out by the time I got home.
My doctor took the whole thing pretty seriously, too, and told me to REALLY rest and drink a lot of water, and they're running a test to see if maybe the infection is antibiotic resistant or something, which I need to call for the results of in a few days. If so they'll have to give me different antibiotics, I guess.
Feeling kind of-blank, too.