(no subject)
Fuck depression.
I can't fucking do anything right now. I just woke up. And now it's a struggle just to do anything. There is a ton of laundry to do and the floor needs to be vacuumed. Our bedroom is a mess that I really would like to reorganize. I told Dan I'd take the recycling out today. I need to find a better job.
But instead, all I want to do is nothing. I want to sleep or play video games so I don't have to think.
I made an appointment with my doctor to talk about my anti-depressant but it's not for another week because she's on vacation. And I don't really want to play the pill game. I feel like she's going to want to put me on a different medication (which, at this point I won't argue with. I'm too depressed for this to just need a dosage adjustment) but that's going to be expensive and time consuming. I don't have insurance that will pay for doctor's visit, so each time I need to switch drugs, it's going to cost me like $75 just to go see her, plus whatever the pills themselves are going to cost me.
On top of that, I get to play the fun game of waiting for the pills to take effect. Are they going to help my depression? Are they going to make me gain lots of weight? Are they going to make me horny? Are they going to make me not want to have sex ever again? Are they going to make me sweat a lot? Are they going to make me sleepy? Or an insomniac?
I'm grateful that my Celexa has worked well for me this long. But damnit I don't want to play this fucking game.
I can't fucking do anything right now. I just woke up. And now it's a struggle just to do anything. There is a ton of laundry to do and the floor needs to be vacuumed. Our bedroom is a mess that I really would like to reorganize. I told Dan I'd take the recycling out today. I need to find a better job.
But instead, all I want to do is nothing. I want to sleep or play video games so I don't have to think.
I made an appointment with my doctor to talk about my anti-depressant but it's not for another week because she's on vacation. And I don't really want to play the pill game. I feel like she's going to want to put me on a different medication (which, at this point I won't argue with. I'm too depressed for this to just need a dosage adjustment) but that's going to be expensive and time consuming. I don't have insurance that will pay for doctor's visit, so each time I need to switch drugs, it's going to cost me like $75 just to go see her, plus whatever the pills themselves are going to cost me.
On top of that, I get to play the fun game of waiting for the pills to take effect. Are they going to help my depression? Are they going to make me gain lots of weight? Are they going to make me horny? Are they going to make me not want to have sex ever again? Are they going to make me sweat a lot? Are they going to make me sleepy? Or an insomniac?
I'm grateful that my Celexa has worked well for me this long. But damnit I don't want to play this fucking game.