BOTH HANDS FRAN
ran my first 5k with my brother while we were in Milwaukee! it was a little challenging but just the right amount of challenging. i don't think i'd ever actually jogged that far before hahaha felt good. and gave me a better idea of how far im jogging at the beach (tried to judge before but really difficult with a windy trail).
let's see, it's already mid july... work is flying by week by week but i really feel like im getting into the swing of things, feel fully incorporated into the team and have a better grasp of how things operate on the rez and so am more confident taking on projects on my own. also learned to communicate with my supervisor who is still crazy, but in a good way :-) i have come to see how big her heart is for her entire community and family and it's really cool. we still go about things in opposite ways but to each their own! was really motivated/inspired today at work. turned a corner on a huge clean up project at this building i've been working on mostly alone for at least 3 solid weeks. this place started out disgusting. it used to be the medical clinic years ago so is a bit creepy, then became a shelter, clothing and food bank, before being shut down 2 years ago and eventually broken into by tweakers and ransacked. so the place was a friggen wreck! food had been left out (2 years ago) so it rotted hella, mice took over, took what they wanted and got the fuck out, so yeah it was bad. and then every night whatever i had bagged up and placed outside would get rummaged thru by other tweakers :/
anyway, it hasn't been disgusting for at least a week, but still didn't really inspire.. til today when a couple of 8th graders helped clean. they were disgusted which was really funny to me considering how far it's come, but they were still energized, saying "this could be a really cool rec center!" etc... i hadn't given it any imagination because until recently i was wearing a face mask (i really did get sick the day after starting to clean here and was sick for a week) but this place has made me realize what a softy germaphobe i've become !!! hahaha i think partially due to the training i had at desc on cleaning up ANYTHING but for real, i used to not give a fuck! dirtbag bean! but yeah, kinda stoked on what this building could be now...
another page im trying to turn is not being so guarded with my heart. actually had a horoscope tell me to be more public with my romantic feelings recently haha. i've totally fallen for my friend brandon. just completely stoked on this person! hard to even explain... just feel like i've found someone who appreciates me for me. someone who treats me so good, my god it's like i'm being shown what it's like to be treated right... that's sorta hard to admit! (because why haven't i demanded that from others ya know??) he's so posi! and easy to be around, carefree, doesn't take himself seriously. this combo is one that i haven't found any doods to be... i just love him as a person! so anyway. stoked.
uhhhh soo much family in the past week. too much to say so i'll just say the most ridiculous. FRAN. CLASSIC FRAN. but she might've out done herself even... so she's holding my cousin's new born baby boy and hands him to me cuz i feel like there's sorta a inside joke in the family to have bean hold a baby cuz i am uninclined to have my own kids and show no signs of settling down and they all think 25 is old as hell im like the old maid! anyway, so she hands me the baby and thank god it's sleeping and stays sleeping and i try to get comfortable and think about the time i read about physiology and how vital it is to hold babies for their healthy development and that was pretty much the only thing that made me feel okay about holding this kid. haha. so im holding this baby n Fran mentions how small he is (2 weeks old) and i say that his arms and legs actually seem really long, and Fran unfortunately adds 'he has long fingers too, probably means he'll have a big dick' and laughs. i was so caught off guard because this is such a weird thing to say about a baby, so i said 'i don't know Fran'. and she gets excited and says 'oh! you wouldn't know would you?!' i just couldn't believe how weird this had gotten so i said 'i dont know Fran, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A BABY...' but she wasn't phased. i could see his eyeballs moving beneath his eye lids now, very cool looking actually, and doesn't that mean he's dreaming? so he wakes a little and i talk to him, asking 'what were you dreaming about?' and Fran takes it upon herself to answer my question by saying 'sex with the hottest woman i've ever seen!' and nudges my arm with her elbow. just, enough outta you Fran!
let's see, it's already mid july... work is flying by week by week but i really feel like im getting into the swing of things, feel fully incorporated into the team and have a better grasp of how things operate on the rez and so am more confident taking on projects on my own. also learned to communicate with my supervisor who is still crazy, but in a good way :-) i have come to see how big her heart is for her entire community and family and it's really cool. we still go about things in opposite ways but to each their own! was really motivated/inspired today at work. turned a corner on a huge clean up project at this building i've been working on mostly alone for at least 3 solid weeks. this place started out disgusting. it used to be the medical clinic years ago so is a bit creepy, then became a shelter, clothing and food bank, before being shut down 2 years ago and eventually broken into by tweakers and ransacked. so the place was a friggen wreck! food had been left out (2 years ago) so it rotted hella, mice took over, took what they wanted and got the fuck out, so yeah it was bad. and then every night whatever i had bagged up and placed outside would get rummaged thru by other tweakers :/
anyway, it hasn't been disgusting for at least a week, but still didn't really inspire.. til today when a couple of 8th graders helped clean. they were disgusted which was really funny to me considering how far it's come, but they were still energized, saying "this could be a really cool rec center!" etc... i hadn't given it any imagination because until recently i was wearing a face mask (i really did get sick the day after starting to clean here and was sick for a week) but this place has made me realize what a softy germaphobe i've become !!! hahaha i think partially due to the training i had at desc on cleaning up ANYTHING but for real, i used to not give a fuck! dirtbag bean! but yeah, kinda stoked on what this building could be now...
another page im trying to turn is not being so guarded with my heart. actually had a horoscope tell me to be more public with my romantic feelings recently haha. i've totally fallen for my friend brandon. just completely stoked on this person! hard to even explain... just feel like i've found someone who appreciates me for me. someone who treats me so good, my god it's like i'm being shown what it's like to be treated right... that's sorta hard to admit! (because why haven't i demanded that from others ya know??) he's so posi! and easy to be around, carefree, doesn't take himself seriously. this combo is one that i haven't found any doods to be... i just love him as a person! so anyway. stoked.
uhhhh soo much family in the past week. too much to say so i'll just say the most ridiculous. FRAN. CLASSIC FRAN. but she might've out done herself even... so she's holding my cousin's new born baby boy and hands him to me cuz i feel like there's sorta a inside joke in the family to have bean hold a baby cuz i am uninclined to have my own kids and show no signs of settling down and they all think 25 is old as hell im like the old maid! anyway, so she hands me the baby and thank god it's sleeping and stays sleeping and i try to get comfortable and think about the time i read about physiology and how vital it is to hold babies for their healthy development and that was pretty much the only thing that made me feel okay about holding this kid. haha. so im holding this baby n Fran mentions how small he is (2 weeks old) and i say that his arms and legs actually seem really long, and Fran unfortunately adds 'he has long fingers too, probably means he'll have a big dick' and laughs. i was so caught off guard because this is such a weird thing to say about a baby, so i said 'i don't know Fran'. and she gets excited and says 'oh! you wouldn't know would you?!' i just couldn't believe how weird this had gotten so i said 'i dont know Fran, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A BABY...' but she wasn't phased. i could see his eyeballs moving beneath his eye lids now, very cool looking actually, and doesn't that mean he's dreaming? so he wakes a little and i talk to him, asking 'what were you dreaming about?' and Fran takes it upon herself to answer my question by saying 'sex with the hottest woman i've ever seen!' and nudges my arm with her elbow. just, enough outta you Fran!