For just_muse_me - 12.10.3 The Fray lyrics
12.10.3. How To Save a Life - The Fray
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
[Co-written with agentfraser | Follows THIS]
Harri let out a contented sigh as she arched her back and stretched her arms and legs out before she smiled and let Marc wrap himself around her. They were both covered in a fine sheen of sweat, the bedsheets a tangled mess around their limbs, and their clothes in a pile on the floor. He'd seduced her the second she'd walked into his apartment, but Harri really wasn't about to complain. Especially not when she'd been able to see him with those beautiful blue eyes. The one's that had her coming just with a look from Marc. It was pathetic how quickly she was becoming infatuated by him. Harri brushed her lips against his jaw and let out another happy sigh. She vaguely remembered coming here for a reason, but as she looked at Marc all she could think about was sex and him and those eyes and sex and him and ice cream.
"You're awfully distracting, you know that?" she asked him with a smirk.
"Mmm?" Marc murmured from against her shoulder. It wasn't his fault. It took his brain a few minutes to work again after a ground-breaking orgasm like that. Men weren't ever supposed to be able to work their brain and dick at the same time, anyway. "Distractin' from what?" he asked, eyes remaining closed as he worked on catching his breath again. It was one of those rare occasions he actually had the day off, and while writing case briefs at home technically wasn't 'off', he still figured he deserved a lunch break. He just wasn't hungry for food after Harri's call came in.
"Everything but this," Harri told him softly as she started to comb her fingers through his damp hair. It had been a while since she'd taken an afternoon off to stay in bed with a lover. Mostly her lunchbreaks were filled with quickies, but there had been nothing quick about what they'd just done. "However, I do remember calling you for a reason. A very important reason. Now I'm having trouble remembering."
Marc put a hand up to rub his nose. He opened his eyes just a little to look at her sleepily. "Can't be that important if you can't remember," he reasoned. His cell phone started to ring softly but he made no move to pick it up. "It's not work, it's okay. Wrong ringtone. Whoever it is can fucking wait."
"Who else has the number?" Harri asked, looking at him curiously. "It's not like you have any friends." Harri shifted so she could start kissing the spot just below his ear, inhaling his addictive scent. She pulled back abruptly as she stared at Marc. "Ali!"
Marc's eyes shot open and he stared at. "What?" he asked with a small gasp. "What about her? Where did that come from?!"
"She bumped into me at Starbucks. Literally. I got frappe all over my white Gucci suit, which is why I came here wearing Armani," Harri explained as she rolled onto her back, and kept her hand on Marc's arm.
Marc continued to stare at her. "Are you sure it was her?" he finally asked in a small voice as that guilty bite started to eat away in his gut again. "I mean, you only saw one photo of her. Are you sure? D-Did you talk to her?"
Harri nodded. "I did, and I'm sure. She had your niece with her, crying her tiny lungs out. Poor Ali was beside herself. We didn't exactly exchange names, but she has my card. It started off with us yelling at each other, but once I realised it was her..." Harri shrugged a little and glanced at Marc. "You need to call her, love. She needs you more than you could imagine."
Marc sat up in bed and stared at the ruffled sheets in front of him. "So, she wasn't okay?" he asked softly and glanced up at her. He put his fingers to his mouth as he was faced with that internal battle again. "What was she like? The baby..." he asked in barely more than a whisper.
Harri rest the back of her hand against her forehead, and thought about it. "She was just having a bloody awful day. Then all the people in the cafe were just staring at her because the baby just wouldn't stop crying. She's beautiful. I really don't know much about babies, but her child really is beautiful. Her hair... it was like yours in that photograph you showed me."
Marc put his hand over his eyes as he veered strikingly close to tears. "I'm sorry," he apologised with a shake of his head. "Fuck, I really could never anticipate how hard this was going to be. I thought seeing her would make it better, but it didn't. It just made it worse and I probably made it worse for her. To hear that she's having a bad time just makes all the guilt and regret push itself to the surface."
"Nothing to be sorry for, love." Harri sat up to wrap her arms around Marc and pull him into a hug. She was really only used to dealing with Aiden when he was sad, but she wanted to be good at comforting Marc. She needed to be if this was going to turn into something lasting. "It was just one bad day. She'd been left alone and wanted coffee, and just nothing was working for her today. It doesn't mean it's like that all the time. It sounded as if her paramedic helped. She could just use her best friend, I think."
Marc winced. "Bloody hell, I totally messed with him, too, the day I went to see her. The guy was as friendly and helpful as all hell and I wanted to tear his balls off for being where I thought my brother should rightly be. See how fucked up I've been? The guy practically looked like a supermodel. I should have been happy for her but I wanted to kick his arse," he admitted sheepishly. "I wouldn't even know where to start to make this all work. What is she possibly going to tell the guy?"
" I don't know... Maybe say you've been away for a while? Didn't realise Ali was still in New York?" Harri suggested as she tried to come up with answers that would help. "I just thought you should know. You asked me how to be a better BFF, and I know if for any reason I'd had to leave Aiden behind I'd want to try and get him back again. She does need you, Marc."
Marc let out a slow breath and nodded. "She lives in my old apartment. I left everything to her in my will. It was so bloody weird going back there. She hadn't changed anything but it was floor to ceiling with pink baby things. It was like I had stepped into the Twilight Zone. And Ali was... nothing like the Ali I left behind," he admitted. "But in a good way, you know. She went from this person who was dreading having a kid and hating the fact she was pregnant to looking like she was kind of made for it, granted in a really frantic way. I didn't feel like I fit there anymore."
"She probably thinks the same about you, but friendship is friendship. And I have been completely neglecting mine..." Harri murmured as realisation hit. She hadn't spoken to Aiden since the breakdown. She deserved to be fired as a best friend. "So I guess you should stop listening to any advice I have to give. I just thought you should know. It wasn't like I'd planned it, it really was just an accident. When I was talking to her I just couldn't stop thinking about how you needed to reconnect."
Marc brushed his fingers through his hair. "I'm kind of glad you two didn't scratch each other's eyes out," he admitted with a small laugh. "Ali can really be a bitch when she wants to be."
Harri couldn't help but grin. "I think I blindsided her with understanding and kindness. I like her a lot. She's my kind of woman."
Marc laughed. "So, she really did yell at you, huh?" He nodded a little in understanding. "That's something I've been on the receiving end so much it was more familiar than scratching my butt. I met her in college... she called me a string of names at the dorm sign-ins and then arranged to have my car egged. We've been best friends ever since."
"No wonder you still wanted me after I slapped you," she replied with a smirk. Harri's blue eyes danced as she remembered their first encounter. "I know you're not supposed to have contact with anyone from your old life, but isn't she worth taking the risk for?"
"Yeah, of course she is. It's the risk to her, though. Not to me. Plus forcing her to lie... the guy, she seemed pretty, well..." Marc stopped and scratched his ear. "She said if things keep working out between them how they have been, she wants him to be the baby's dad. Which is really hard for me to swallow because I love my brother and he's a good man. I feel like it's my fault he stepped away, which it is. It's my fault he's not there."
Harri frowned a little, and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I realise it must be hard considering the father is your brother, but surely it also matters that Ali is happy. That her daughter is happy and supported. If your brother felt that he needed to leave New York, even with Ali and his daughter here, then maybe it's not just meant to be. This guy, her paramedic... she seems to worship the ground he walks on and I really don't see her letting him out of her life any time soon."
Marc nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know she does and that's surreal. She doesn't let people have access to her heart very easily. Makes me wonder what the guy's talents are," he said, smirking. "I want him to suck so I have an excuse to rip his balls off, even though I know that is irrational male ego. But I know he doesn't suck because Ali nearly took me down to protect that baby and she trusts him with her. It's serious. Very serious. Which is why I feel guilty that if I go back to her, I'll be making her lie to him."
"I don't know what I'm supposed to say to help you other than Aiden's ready to rip your balls off if he ever meets you too. I think it's a BFF's job to threaten bodily harm to anyone that hurts their best friend. It's also a rite of passage for the significant other to pass BFF inspection." Harri shrugged. "I know I'm not your significant other, but the next time I see Ali it could maybe be when she knows you and I are seeing each other. I'm sure frappe isn't the worst thing that could wind up on my Gucci suit if she decides she suddenly doesn't like me. The lying is hard, it has to be... but it's as much for her protection as yours, isn't it?"
Marc glanced her her hesitantly. "You want me to meet your BFF?" he asked. "He sounds kinds of... scary."
"Only because I turned up at his place crying my eyes out," Harri stated with a crinkle of her nose. She still hated crying. She also hated that she and Aiden were seeing less of each other. "You don't have to. Not yet... I was never meant to meet Ali, was I? It was an accident."
Marc's blue eyes pierced her abruptly. "You told him?" he asked, sitting back a little. "What did you tell him?"
Harri looked at Marc, anger flashing briefly across her features. "Give me some credit, love. I said your secret was safe with me. I didn't tell him anything. He got pissed off at me, but he still let me cry my eyes out and fall asleep on his couch. I was hurting, Marc. I needed someone, even if it pissed him off even more that I wasn't saying anything. He didn't even ask me what happened before he threatened to kill you. All it took was him seeing me cry." It was the truth. Mostly. Harri would just have to keep her mouth shut that she hadn't quite kept her mouth shut.
Marc didn't say anything at first. The whole statement swept through his mind again and it didn't connect neatly for him. "I don't believe you, but I'm going to let it drop. If he knows, I'm going to trust you to tell me that he does one day because if he's so hot-headed, it can't be safe me not knowing he knows," he told her pointedly and did let it drop as he said he would. He cleared his throat. "I need to speak to Ali and see how she feels now that the dust has settled. At the end of the day, she can't keep pretending I'm dead when she knows I'm not."
Harri gave a nod, as she plucked at one of the sheets with her fingers. Despite Aiden's anger, she knew he could be trusted. He wasn't going to go around spreading Marc's secret. "I think you've made the right decision. At least I hope you have..." Harri stroked his face with her fingers and kissed his lips softly. "I just want you happy."
Marc sort of stretched and shrugged at the same time. "Do you think you'll get along with her? What about the idea of having a baby around? Are you okay with me doing the uncle thing?" he asked her.
"Didn't we cover this? I'm awful with babies, but I'm not going to baulk at being around one. I think we'll get along just fine. I do actually like her, and I don't usually get along well with other women," Harri admitted with a wry smile.
Marc snorted. "You think I'm any better? You do not even want to know how bad I reacted when I found out Ali was pregnant. I thought it was mine... not mine with Ali, but mine with my girlfriend and freaked the fuck out. It wasn't pretty. I've had nothing to do with kids ever. That tiny thing in a nappy scares the damn hell out of me. How am I supposed to know what to do with it?"
Harri couldn't help but laugh, and tugged on a lock of his hair gently. "Same way Ali worked it out? Hard to believe she was as clueless as me when she makes it look so easy. Besides, we can fumble through together if you are going to let me be there for you. With you. I wouldn't want to intrude on time with your niece unless you wanted me to."
"To be honest? I'm not sure I can do it alone," Marc admitted softly.
Harri kissed him again and smiled. "You won't have to, I promise."
Harriet Ryan & Marcus Fraser
Original Character
Words: 2536
All muses referred to with permission
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
[Co-written with agentfraser | Follows THIS]
Harri let out a contented sigh as she arched her back and stretched her arms and legs out before she smiled and let Marc wrap himself around her. They were both covered in a fine sheen of sweat, the bedsheets a tangled mess around their limbs, and their clothes in a pile on the floor. He'd seduced her the second she'd walked into his apartment, but Harri really wasn't about to complain. Especially not when she'd been able to see him with those beautiful blue eyes. The one's that had her coming just with a look from Marc. It was pathetic how quickly she was becoming infatuated by him. Harri brushed her lips against his jaw and let out another happy sigh. She vaguely remembered coming here for a reason, but as she looked at Marc all she could think about was sex and him and those eyes and sex and him and ice cream.
"You're awfully distracting, you know that?" she asked him with a smirk.
"Mmm?" Marc murmured from against her shoulder. It wasn't his fault. It took his brain a few minutes to work again after a ground-breaking orgasm like that. Men weren't ever supposed to be able to work their brain and dick at the same time, anyway. "Distractin' from what?" he asked, eyes remaining closed as he worked on catching his breath again. It was one of those rare occasions he actually had the day off, and while writing case briefs at home technically wasn't 'off', he still figured he deserved a lunch break. He just wasn't hungry for food after Harri's call came in.
"Everything but this," Harri told him softly as she started to comb her fingers through his damp hair. It had been a while since she'd taken an afternoon off to stay in bed with a lover. Mostly her lunchbreaks were filled with quickies, but there had been nothing quick about what they'd just done. "However, I do remember calling you for a reason. A very important reason. Now I'm having trouble remembering."
Marc put a hand up to rub his nose. He opened his eyes just a little to look at her sleepily. "Can't be that important if you can't remember," he reasoned. His cell phone started to ring softly but he made no move to pick it up. "It's not work, it's okay. Wrong ringtone. Whoever it is can fucking wait."
"Who else has the number?" Harri asked, looking at him curiously. "It's not like you have any friends." Harri shifted so she could start kissing the spot just below his ear, inhaling his addictive scent. She pulled back abruptly as she stared at Marc. "Ali!"
Marc's eyes shot open and he stared at. "What?" he asked with a small gasp. "What about her? Where did that come from?!"
"She bumped into me at Starbucks. Literally. I got frappe all over my white Gucci suit, which is why I came here wearing Armani," Harri explained as she rolled onto her back, and kept her hand on Marc's arm.
Marc continued to stare at her. "Are you sure it was her?" he finally asked in a small voice as that guilty bite started to eat away in his gut again. "I mean, you only saw one photo of her. Are you sure? D-Did you talk to her?"
Harri nodded. "I did, and I'm sure. She had your niece with her, crying her tiny lungs out. Poor Ali was beside herself. We didn't exactly exchange names, but she has my card. It started off with us yelling at each other, but once I realised it was her..." Harri shrugged a little and glanced at Marc. "You need to call her, love. She needs you more than you could imagine."
Marc sat up in bed and stared at the ruffled sheets in front of him. "So, she wasn't okay?" he asked softly and glanced up at her. He put his fingers to his mouth as he was faced with that internal battle again. "What was she like? The baby..." he asked in barely more than a whisper.
Harri rest the back of her hand against her forehead, and thought about it. "She was just having a bloody awful day. Then all the people in the cafe were just staring at her because the baby just wouldn't stop crying. She's beautiful. I really don't know much about babies, but her child really is beautiful. Her hair... it was like yours in that photograph you showed me."
Marc put his hand over his eyes as he veered strikingly close to tears. "I'm sorry," he apologised with a shake of his head. "Fuck, I really could never anticipate how hard this was going to be. I thought seeing her would make it better, but it didn't. It just made it worse and I probably made it worse for her. To hear that she's having a bad time just makes all the guilt and regret push itself to the surface."
"Nothing to be sorry for, love." Harri sat up to wrap her arms around Marc and pull him into a hug. She was really only used to dealing with Aiden when he was sad, but she wanted to be good at comforting Marc. She needed to be if this was going to turn into something lasting. "It was just one bad day. She'd been left alone and wanted coffee, and just nothing was working for her today. It doesn't mean it's like that all the time. It sounded as if her paramedic helped. She could just use her best friend, I think."
Marc winced. "Bloody hell, I totally messed with him, too, the day I went to see her. The guy was as friendly and helpful as all hell and I wanted to tear his balls off for being where I thought my brother should rightly be. See how fucked up I've been? The guy practically looked like a supermodel. I should have been happy for her but I wanted to kick his arse," he admitted sheepishly. "I wouldn't even know where to start to make this all work. What is she possibly going to tell the guy?"
" I don't know... Maybe say you've been away for a while? Didn't realise Ali was still in New York?" Harri suggested as she tried to come up with answers that would help. "I just thought you should know. You asked me how to be a better BFF, and I know if for any reason I'd had to leave Aiden behind I'd want to try and get him back again. She does need you, Marc."
Marc let out a slow breath and nodded. "She lives in my old apartment. I left everything to her in my will. It was so bloody weird going back there. She hadn't changed anything but it was floor to ceiling with pink baby things. It was like I had stepped into the Twilight Zone. And Ali was... nothing like the Ali I left behind," he admitted. "But in a good way, you know. She went from this person who was dreading having a kid and hating the fact she was pregnant to looking like she was kind of made for it, granted in a really frantic way. I didn't feel like I fit there anymore."
"She probably thinks the same about you, but friendship is friendship. And I have been completely neglecting mine..." Harri murmured as realisation hit. She hadn't spoken to Aiden since the breakdown. She deserved to be fired as a best friend. "So I guess you should stop listening to any advice I have to give. I just thought you should know. It wasn't like I'd planned it, it really was just an accident. When I was talking to her I just couldn't stop thinking about how you needed to reconnect."
Marc brushed his fingers through his hair. "I'm kind of glad you two didn't scratch each other's eyes out," he admitted with a small laugh. "Ali can really be a bitch when she wants to be."
Harri couldn't help but grin. "I think I blindsided her with understanding and kindness. I like her a lot. She's my kind of woman."
Marc laughed. "So, she really did yell at you, huh?" He nodded a little in understanding. "That's something I've been on the receiving end so much it was more familiar than scratching my butt. I met her in college... she called me a string of names at the dorm sign-ins and then arranged to have my car egged. We've been best friends ever since."
"No wonder you still wanted me after I slapped you," she replied with a smirk. Harri's blue eyes danced as she remembered their first encounter. "I know you're not supposed to have contact with anyone from your old life, but isn't she worth taking the risk for?"
"Yeah, of course she is. It's the risk to her, though. Not to me. Plus forcing her to lie... the guy, she seemed pretty, well..." Marc stopped and scratched his ear. "She said if things keep working out between them how they have been, she wants him to be the baby's dad. Which is really hard for me to swallow because I love my brother and he's a good man. I feel like it's my fault he stepped away, which it is. It's my fault he's not there."
Harri frowned a little, and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I realise it must be hard considering the father is your brother, but surely it also matters that Ali is happy. That her daughter is happy and supported. If your brother felt that he needed to leave New York, even with Ali and his daughter here, then maybe it's not just meant to be. This guy, her paramedic... she seems to worship the ground he walks on and I really don't see her letting him out of her life any time soon."
Marc nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know she does and that's surreal. She doesn't let people have access to her heart very easily. Makes me wonder what the guy's talents are," he said, smirking. "I want him to suck so I have an excuse to rip his balls off, even though I know that is irrational male ego. But I know he doesn't suck because Ali nearly took me down to protect that baby and she trusts him with her. It's serious. Very serious. Which is why I feel guilty that if I go back to her, I'll be making her lie to him."
"I don't know what I'm supposed to say to help you other than Aiden's ready to rip your balls off if he ever meets you too. I think it's a BFF's job to threaten bodily harm to anyone that hurts their best friend. It's also a rite of passage for the significant other to pass BFF inspection." Harri shrugged. "I know I'm not your significant other, but the next time I see Ali it could maybe be when she knows you and I are seeing each other. I'm sure frappe isn't the worst thing that could wind up on my Gucci suit if she decides she suddenly doesn't like me. The lying is hard, it has to be... but it's as much for her protection as yours, isn't it?"
Marc glanced her her hesitantly. "You want me to meet your BFF?" he asked. "He sounds kinds of... scary."
"Only because I turned up at his place crying my eyes out," Harri stated with a crinkle of her nose. She still hated crying. She also hated that she and Aiden were seeing less of each other. "You don't have to. Not yet... I was never meant to meet Ali, was I? It was an accident."
Marc's blue eyes pierced her abruptly. "You told him?" he asked, sitting back a little. "What did you tell him?"
Harri looked at Marc, anger flashing briefly across her features. "Give me some credit, love. I said your secret was safe with me. I didn't tell him anything. He got pissed off at me, but he still let me cry my eyes out and fall asleep on his couch. I was hurting, Marc. I needed someone, even if it pissed him off even more that I wasn't saying anything. He didn't even ask me what happened before he threatened to kill you. All it took was him seeing me cry." It was the truth. Mostly. Harri would just have to keep her mouth shut that she hadn't quite kept her mouth shut.
Marc didn't say anything at first. The whole statement swept through his mind again and it didn't connect neatly for him. "I don't believe you, but I'm going to let it drop. If he knows, I'm going to trust you to tell me that he does one day because if he's so hot-headed, it can't be safe me not knowing he knows," he told her pointedly and did let it drop as he said he would. He cleared his throat. "I need to speak to Ali and see how she feels now that the dust has settled. At the end of the day, she can't keep pretending I'm dead when she knows I'm not."
Harri gave a nod, as she plucked at one of the sheets with her fingers. Despite Aiden's anger, she knew he could be trusted. He wasn't going to go around spreading Marc's secret. "I think you've made the right decision. At least I hope you have..." Harri stroked his face with her fingers and kissed his lips softly. "I just want you happy."
Marc sort of stretched and shrugged at the same time. "Do you think you'll get along with her? What about the idea of having a baby around? Are you okay with me doing the uncle thing?" he asked her.
"Didn't we cover this? I'm awful with babies, but I'm not going to baulk at being around one. I think we'll get along just fine. I do actually like her, and I don't usually get along well with other women," Harri admitted with a wry smile.
Marc snorted. "You think I'm any better? You do not even want to know how bad I reacted when I found out Ali was pregnant. I thought it was mine... not mine with Ali, but mine with my girlfriend and freaked the fuck out. It wasn't pretty. I've had nothing to do with kids ever. That tiny thing in a nappy scares the damn hell out of me. How am I supposed to know what to do with it?"
Harri couldn't help but laugh, and tugged on a lock of his hair gently. "Same way Ali worked it out? Hard to believe she was as clueless as me when she makes it look so easy. Besides, we can fumble through together if you are going to let me be there for you. With you. I wouldn't want to intrude on time with your niece unless you wanted me to."
"To be honest? I'm not sure I can do it alone," Marc admitted softly.
Harri kissed him again and smiled. "You won't have to, I promise."
Harriet Ryan & Marcus Fraser
Original Character
Words: 2536
All muses referred to with permission