it's been a while
so yeah it's been a hell of a long time since i've said something here. shit's been bananas lately. went to ocean city md for senior week. i ended up just getting ditched and used and not drunk enough. 2 of my friends got kicked outta their room becuase of a guy who was on e for 2 days striaght and and another kid from philly who thinks it's a good thine to kick the door in to get into your hotel room. another friend went to jail in rehobeth cuz he got pulled over for a bullshit reason and got caught on a bunch of other things. and guess who was the only person nice enough, old enough, and sober enough to make the 1.5hr drive at 11pm and not even get to the prison, drive all the way back that night, and go back the next day only to be told that they have no idea when he can get out. so yeah in under 18 hours, i drove 6 of em for nothing. and everyone else just ditched me and didn't give a fuck about me. good times. but sunday night was a good night. i got really really drunk and had a good time. then one of my friends broke down and was just crying and freaking out about everything. if you've graduated, you know what he was thinking. i felt bad for him and took him off to the side to try to make him feel better. it was an odd thing because he's one of those friends that it just seems like he doesn't feel, that nothing ever gets to him. but he was crying hardcore and i was pretty much the only one to notice so i sat him down away from everyone else. i held him up(he was really drunk too) and held him like the brother i feel him to be. and i felt really good to help someone like that. i told him things that i haven't told anyone. like how much i admired him for being man enough to cry and that i wish i could cry, becuase i always feel like crying, but i can't remeber the last time i did. then i talked for two hours with a friend about music and lonliness. i quoted lines from deathcab for cutie and bright eys for him. and when i told him about how lonely i've been he said i was preaching to the choir while he held a girl in his arms. but the thing is, as i was talking to him, he's doing the only thing i want to do in my life. all i want right now it to be able to have that, somegirl, anygirl falling alseep in my arms. well i feel i've made this long enought that i won't have to post for another few weeks. i hope things are better for everyone else reading this. goodnight.