unbelievable
So...
Got that call today that i had been dreading. I had a feeling in my head and in my stomach that it was coming but i tried to just pretend it wasnt and tell myself 'yeah right'. And i really am just putting it in the back of my mind and trying to not think about it at all... Mariah is pregnant... And i try... really hard not to sound like a heartless dick... but she CANNOT have that child man. We're both 20.. both are going somewhere in life, and neither of us can take care of a child to the best of our abilities. Would it grow up to be a perfectly fine child? yeah sure, but wouldnt BOTH of us be better at handeling something like that in say 10 years? YES much better... I cant imagion how confused and scared she is, but I dont know how else to explain to her that keeping it SHOULDNT be an option... for the kids sake, her sake, and my sake... And she says for me not to worry that even if she had the baby she would be able to take care of it and stuff back at home and that she wouldnt put me through any hardships and i wouldnt have to do anything.. BUT FUCK MAN IM NOT THAT GUY... if its a kid ima try try try hard to be right, but why not save it for later... save it for when we are prepared... I'm thinkin in my head that she must be 1-1.5 months into this... Although she claims to not know. I just cannot see it through her eyes, not one bit, but i know that we cannot afford to have a kid man... she cant. I just found out today and its eating me up, i just want to know the outcome... I want her to be alright but i just cant be patient for this i want to know what happens here.. I want a decision made and action taken.
Man im the last person in the world i would see this happening to... I cant even think rationally to type a good journal entry :-/
i dont want this at all.. not at all... I cant even support myself.. im not gonna be able to support others... hah so here i am.. like every great movie where something like this happens...
i dont know what to do...
i cannot stand to wait...
i would like it to all be good again..
hah what a dramatic emo i am.. shit tho.
Got that call today that i had been dreading. I had a feeling in my head and in my stomach that it was coming but i tried to just pretend it wasnt and tell myself 'yeah right'. And i really am just putting it in the back of my mind and trying to not think about it at all... Mariah is pregnant... And i try... really hard not to sound like a heartless dick... but she CANNOT have that child man. We're both 20.. both are going somewhere in life, and neither of us can take care of a child to the best of our abilities. Would it grow up to be a perfectly fine child? yeah sure, but wouldnt BOTH of us be better at handeling something like that in say 10 years? YES much better... I cant imagion how confused and scared she is, but I dont know how else to explain to her that keeping it SHOULDNT be an option... for the kids sake, her sake, and my sake... And she says for me not to worry that even if she had the baby she would be able to take care of it and stuff back at home and that she wouldnt put me through any hardships and i wouldnt have to do anything.. BUT FUCK MAN IM NOT THAT GUY... if its a kid ima try try try hard to be right, but why not save it for later... save it for when we are prepared... I'm thinkin in my head that she must be 1-1.5 months into this... Although she claims to not know. I just cannot see it through her eyes, not one bit, but i know that we cannot afford to have a kid man... she cant. I just found out today and its eating me up, i just want to know the outcome... I want her to be alright but i just cant be patient for this i want to know what happens here.. I want a decision made and action taken.
Man im the last person in the world i would see this happening to... I cant even think rationally to type a good journal entry :-/
i dont want this at all.. not at all... I cant even support myself.. im not gonna be able to support others... hah so here i am.. like every great movie where something like this happens...
i dont know what to do...
i cannot stand to wait...
i would like it to all be good again..
hah what a dramatic emo i am.. shit tho.