second of the month
so... yeah, i forgave mariah although I still agree with what i said before. But i DO think i was worrying about it alittle too much. I know this because i looked back at the other post and was like 'damn that sounded stupid' But i was thinking about it, and one thing that exacerbated the situation was i was so worried about how i was COMING OFF when i was thinking/writing about it, because i not only try to do things a certain way, i need them to come off and come out in the same tone/way, as in... (unrelated) if you look like a snitch... but you arent.. you are still fucked, so even though you are good, your still fucked... and i try to never be fucked like that... But in this situation I guess it doesnt really matter how i come off because the only person im presenting the whole story to is myself. and its over for now anywayz...
...mariah moved away yesterday.. Its probably for the best because although im always happy with her and stuff... well i mean shit peep the last few journal posts... she was obviously getting to me, takes me back to some highschool shit you know... but... truthfully i do miss her. And not to sound heartless, but i duno man... do i REALLY miss her? or do i miss having a girl... or do i simply miss vagina... Time will tell I suppose but I really dont know... I won film wars, how easy... Man back on the subject of mariah, the way that started, like how likely is that to happen again? meet a girl, think shes cool, have sex that day, and then be togethor for like 8 months... yo WHO does that? on a higher note, WHY isnt this done more often hahaha... She seems to be REALLY sad about the move and the reason that i can kinda just shimmy what would be sadness away is because of what had happened in the month before she left... like 'alright your moving away, not like you didnt already move away for the past month, at least this time you told me' is what i say in my head, but then i get guilt tripped when i see or hear her like crying over it or when shes like visibly sad.
in other news, im kinda wondering what i should do about finding another girl, im VERY hesitant about some kind of IM SINGLE myspace shit because i dont want to upset mariah even more... i told her i dont care if she fucks other dudes while shes gone but she assured me she wouldnt.. and i assured her that she should because i will most likely find another female to pummel untill she moves back or whatever. But i mean, myspace is the tamale ticket, and to not use it... its a handicap for a nerd ass nigga like myself...
well enough about her.. gonzo got a new camera and i couldnt be in shittier skate shape... im getting there, definately getting there, but its a tough road to get good again.. when school starts and all these parties and free alcohol dissapears im sure ill get back into the groove... man fuck gonzo sucks at filming, like drastically, filming is an art not a chore... you dont halfass it you get into it and do it to the best of your ability... to him filming it is just the chore and then editing is where you make the magic... but NAH MAN.. its not like that... not in this sport, maybe if you are filming a bike or a football game or something.. but not skateboarding my friend... Im also in the process of getting black ninja shirts printed and... i CANNOT FUCKING WAIT for them because they are going to be soo good...
and im tired of typing peace.
...mariah moved away yesterday.. Its probably for the best because although im always happy with her and stuff... well i mean shit peep the last few journal posts... she was obviously getting to me, takes me back to some highschool shit you know... but... truthfully i do miss her. And not to sound heartless, but i duno man... do i REALLY miss her? or do i miss having a girl... or do i simply miss vagina... Time will tell I suppose but I really dont know... I won film wars, how easy... Man back on the subject of mariah, the way that started, like how likely is that to happen again? meet a girl, think shes cool, have sex that day, and then be togethor for like 8 months... yo WHO does that? on a higher note, WHY isnt this done more often hahaha... She seems to be REALLY sad about the move and the reason that i can kinda just shimmy what would be sadness away is because of what had happened in the month before she left... like 'alright your moving away, not like you didnt already move away for the past month, at least this time you told me' is what i say in my head, but then i get guilt tripped when i see or hear her like crying over it or when shes like visibly sad.
in other news, im kinda wondering what i should do about finding another girl, im VERY hesitant about some kind of IM SINGLE myspace shit because i dont want to upset mariah even more... i told her i dont care if she fucks other dudes while shes gone but she assured me she wouldnt.. and i assured her that she should because i will most likely find another female to pummel untill she moves back or whatever. But i mean, myspace is the tamale ticket, and to not use it... its a handicap for a nerd ass nigga like myself...
well enough about her.. gonzo got a new camera and i couldnt be in shittier skate shape... im getting there, definately getting there, but its a tough road to get good again.. when school starts and all these parties and free alcohol dissapears im sure ill get back into the groove... man fuck gonzo sucks at filming, like drastically, filming is an art not a chore... you dont halfass it you get into it and do it to the best of your ability... to him filming it is just the chore and then editing is where you make the magic... but NAH MAN.. its not like that... not in this sport, maybe if you are filming a bike or a football game or something.. but not skateboarding my friend... Im also in the process of getting black ninja shirts printed and... i CANNOT FUCKING WAIT for them because they are going to be soo good...
and im tired of typing peace.