Lonely No More (PG) - Charmed, New Future Verse
Title: Lonely No More (stole title from Rob Thomas song, but it's *not* a songfic)
Author: Tommygirl/storydivagirl
A/N: Okay, it's only about two months late, but here is the birthday fic for tinylegacies that I promised. I hope you enjoy it and I didn't do too much damage to our A/U. Hee.
A/N 2: Okay, this is a continuation in the A/U Charmed Future that tinylegacies and I created. You can read this separately, but it's best to have read: A New Future, Soulmates, and Dueling Personalities. Much love to both iamtheenemy, my constant evil beta, and dragonsinger for all the help. This is a long one - Chris muse gets like that sometimes. Feedback greatly appreciated.
Chris stared at the television, unaware of what he was watching or what was going on, and tapped his fingers on the coffee table that his Aunt Phoebe had sworn gave the apartment ambiance. He was trying to convince himself that things with Heather were progressing naturally, that he wasn’t forcing things because of who she reminded him of or working out his own issues of the past.
So far, it wasn’t going too well and he wasn’t sure how much longer things could continue the way they were. Chris could see the doubt and confusion in Heather’s eyes every time he rushed off or made up another lie to cover up his true identity and the myriad of emotions running through him every second.
It didn’t help that his parents checked in on him every few hours to make sure he was okay and hanging in there, surely causing Heather to question Chris’ sanity if he required such coddling.
“Dude, why are you watching reruns of The Golden Girls? Is there something you want to tell me?”
Chris looked up to see his brother hovering over him with a mix of amusement and worry etched on his face. This was something that had been a bit hard to get used to once again - Wyatt being overprotective and concerned about him - but it was definitely a good thing as far as Chris was concerned...most of the time.
“Huh?” Chris responded.
“Do you secretly fantasize about old ladies, bro?”
Chris’ face contorted in disgust and he pushed his brother away from him, standing himself up, and said, “You’re disgusting.”
“Some guys are into the May-December thing.”
“May-December does not equate to granny loving in the evening,” Chris countered with another light push. Wyatt laughed and Chris couldn’t help but join him before adding, “The places your mind goes to sometimes frighten me, Wy.”
Wyatt shrugged and said, “Scares me too.” Wyatt motioned to the front door and said, “We need to get to the manor for dinner. Last time we were late mom lectured me on what runs through her mind every minute we’re not at dinner. Never again do I want to endure that conversation.”
“Why aren’t we orbing?”
“A few of my buddies from work are going out for beers later and I figured we could join them.”
“We?”
“As in you and I.”
Chris frowned and asked, “Did mom ask you to do this?”
“What?”
Chris’ frown deepened. Aside from the constant prodding about his feelings every day, his parents had begun forcing his relatives to spend large quantities of time with him. It was as though they were on twenty-four hour Chris Watch and he couldn’t be left alone to his own devices otherwise he’d go stark raving mad.
Chris kept biting his tongue and tolerating it because he knew his mother and father meant well, but he was reaching the end of his patience. His parents had taken to reminding him how wonderful his life was on a daily basis. They kept pointing out all the good, trying to push aside the bad memories in favour of the new ones. But they didn’t get it - they didn’t understand that no matter how hard he tried to embrace his new future and life, there was still all the crap from before bogging down his brain.
“Chris?”
Chris folded his arms and narrowed his gaze on his brother before replying, “We don’t need to spend every minute of your free time together.”
“What are-“
“Every minute, Wy. I’m surprised you haven’t taken to following me to the bathroom in the morning.”
“Mom and dad are worried about you, Chris. They won’t tell me what’s going on, but I can tell it has them upset.”
“It’s nothing.”
Wyatt imitated Chris’ stance (another thing his older brother appeared to do better than him) and rolled his eyes. He said, “I’m not an idiot. I know something’s up with you. I’ve been trying to be patient, figuring you’d come to me when you’re ready, but...”
Chris sighed. This wasn’t a conversation he could have with Wyatt. He knew that there wasn’t much his brother wouldn’t do for him, but there were times when Chris had to be the overprotective one. And not allowing Wyatt to know about the original future that Chris had experienced was one of them. He would never do that to his brother, never unload all the terrible things that a different version of him committed. Chris wanted to protect his brother - he never wanted a glimpse of the old Wyatt to return - but Chris could see that, even with the best of intentions, his brother was hurt.
“Chris…”
“It’s nothing. Things with Heather are all weird and school is killing me and mom and dad are driving me crazy.”
Wyatt pointed to the door and said, “We’ve got to go.” When Chris didn’t say anything, Wyatt said, “I can’t force you to talk to me, but I’m here for you, okay?”
Wyatt didn’t wait for a response. He opened the front door and started down the stairs to the parking lot. Chris glanced upward as if the guidance would fall into his lap and grabbed his coat off the chair before following after Wyatt.
**
“Aren’t you too young to be taking the detective’s exam? And won’t that put you in the line of fire more often?” his mother asked, passing the salad to Chris at the dinner table.
“Piper, honey, Wyatt knows how to take care of himself,” Leo said.
“And you don’t worry this much when I’m fighting demons with Chris.”
Piper dropped her fork and said, “Don’t worry? You think I don’t worry about you and your brother whenever some demon faction attacks?” She pointed her finger at him and said, “Just wait until you have children, mister.”
Wyatt shovelled down a forkful of food and replied between bites, “I think Chris is the one heading in that direction.”
“Excuse me?” Piper said.
All eyes fell on Chris, whose face turned a crimson shade, as he devised some sort of torture for his brother. He shook his head and raised his hands in surrender before responding, “We are so not at the having-kids stage.”
“I’d certainly hope not. You’re too young. Both you and Heather are still in med school and with everything you’ve gone through-“
“Piper…” Leo warned.
Chris glanced from his mother to his father and then to Wyatt, who was watching them all carefully. Chris shook his head and said, “Heather and I are well aware of all our obligations and issues.”
“What issues?” Wyatt asked.
“It’s nothing, honey. You know how your brother is,” Piper said.
Wyatt shot her a look of disbelief and said, “Yeah, I do, which makes me wonder about what issues there could be.”
“There are no issues,” Chris stated, trying to keep from shouting. He stood up and said, “I’m fine. Perfectly fine. If everyone would stop babying me for ten minutes, you’d know that.”
“Chris, your mom and I just-“
“-Need to stop. You’re driving me crazy and it’s not helping to change things,” Chris snapped. He immediately regretted the tone he took when he saw the look on his mother’s face. He couldn’t stick around there any longer. He was afraid he’d say something really stupid or let something slip that would upset Wyatt. So he groaned and orbbed out of the manor, pretending he didn’t hear his mother calling after him.
**
Chris wasn’t sure why he chose to go to her place. She wasn’t expecting him and it wasn’t like he could explain why he was so upset. At least not without sounding like a crazy person - I’ve come from a different timeline and you could be my dead fiancé’s twin sister. Losing Heather was not an option, whatever his warped reasoning might be, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could avoid the magic talk, let alone explaining why he was so different from the Chris she knew before.
Chris smiled when Heather appeared at the door. She was dressed in a pair of sweats and one of his old tee-shirts and yet she was probably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. His grin grew wider as she smiled at him and ran her hand through her clipped hair.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight. I know how your mother is about family dinner night.”
“Well, family dinner night turned into family argument night, so I’ve come seeking sanity.”
Heather held the door open enough for him to enter and joked, “And you came here?”
Chris shoved his hands into his pockets and shut his eyes in an attempt to get his thoughts in order. It was also to avoid that moment when Heather turned around to face him. Most of the time he could differentiate between her and Bianca, but it was always in those early moments of a conversation when it was hardest for him. He found avoiding it all together worked wonders for his mental health.
He opened his eyes when Heather’s hands ran over his chest and behind his neck, pulling him toward her. He smiled at her and moved the remaining centimetres needed to kiss her. He wrapped his arms around her, trying to get as close as possible, convinced that this was all he needed to make the bad stuff go away, and sighed in contentment.
Heather grinned against his lips and said, “Sometimes you amaze me, Christopher Halliwell.”
“Do I?”
“Just when I think I have you figured out, you do something that throws me off,” Heather responded. She took his hand and led him into the living room where books were scattered across the sofa. She said, “And thank you for saving me from a night of studying.”
“I’m not sure…I should probably…” Chris tried to formulate an entire thought, but it seemed almost impossible in the moment. He glanced at the floor, hoping that looking away from Heather would help him, and said, “Yeah, about saving you? Not sure that I can tonight.”
“Chris…”
“I left things horrible with my parents and I know that Wyatt’s worried about me-“
”You’ve got to stop this. You’ve got to stop putting everyone else’s wants and needs before your own. You’re allowed to have your own life.”
Chris sighed, “I know that.”
“Do you? Because I’m not convinced.”
As far as nights went, Chris was quickly becoming convinced that this was borderline hell. He might be able to deal with fighting with his family, but not on the same day as Heather, and not when his mind decided to play with him and overwhelm him with memories of other times.
“Heather…”
“I’ve known you for a few years now, Chris, and I still feel like we barely know each other most of the time.”
He was not prepared to have this conversation now. He had seen how it had gone for his Aunts when they had gotten serious with non-magical types enough to know that sometimes…sometimes the longer it could remain secret, the better chances of romantic survival. Was it fair to Heather? Probably not, but he couldn’t deal with losing anyone else right now.
“Chris, would you look at me? What’s going on with you? One day you’re acting out romantic gestures that would make Cupid envious and the next day it’s as though I barely exist. Since you were sick a few months ago, something’s been off with you. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s there.”
“I warned you going in that my family comes first, Heather. I never lied about that.”
“Fine, but exactly what are all these emergencies that your family deals with? Is something wrong?”
“I can’t talk about it.”
“You mean won’t.”
“Don’t act like you don’t have your own secrets. I’m sure there are things about you that I don’t know, things that you keep to yourself because they don’t affect me at all.”
Heather frowned and countered, “The key words being don’t affect me, Chris. Whatever’s going on with you right now is spilling over into everything else you do, including us. I just want to know what to expect once in a while.” Her expression softened a bit and she stepped closer to him. She rubbed her fingers over his hand and added, “Before this relationship, we were friends. You could always talk to me, Chris, but now it’s like…it’s like you’re a different person half the time. It’s like you’re afraid to trust me.”
Chris winced against her words. He knew logically that she wasn’t trying to hurt him or point out that he didn’t belong in this future (something he battled with on a daily basis), but reason was something he didn’t possess in large quantities at the moment. He pried himself free of her grip and said, “Maybe I made a mistake coming here. I was upset with my family and I thought…There’s so much going on right now and sometimes I feel like you’re the only constant I have, Heather. I’m sorry if you feel like I don’t trust you. It’s not you. I don’t trust myself, or all these feelings I have most of the time and the last thing I want to do is hurt you, Heather. You have no idea how much you mean to me.”
“You mean a lot to me too, Chris. That’s why I want you to tell me what’s wrong. You’re not in this alone.”
Chris laughed mirthlessly and replied, “But I am.” He stepped back out into the hallway and opened her front door. He shook his head and said, “I’m sorry that I came here. It was a mistake.” He raised his hand in a half-wave and rushed out the door as not to give her a chance to stop him.
**
Chris stared out at the city from his spot on the bridge. He shut his eyes against the memory of his father bringing him there for the first time for two different sets of reasons - one was to tell him and Wyatt that their mother had died and the other was so that Leo could show his sons his favorite spot in all the world. Chris let out a slow breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.
He had thought that the unknown creature had done him a favor in making everything clear to him, reminding him of the good he managed to accomplish, but he wasn’t so sure anymore. He didn’t feel like he belonged in this future most of the time, wasn’t sure he deserved Heather when he had made so many promises to Bianca and let her down, and he kept waiting for that day when Wyatt came home with the blood of an innocent on his hands and a cold smile on his face.
Chris quickly wiped the tears from his face when he heard a familiar clearing of the throat. He didn’t meet the gaze or acknowledge the presence as the person sat down next to him. Chris just stared out at the city, wishing it was possible to steal some of the calm it seemed to possess.
“I figured you’d show up here sooner or later.” Chris nodded and glanced at his brother. Wyatt draped his arm over Chris’ shoulder, adding, “Heather called. She’s worried that you might hurt yourself.”
There were so many things Chris wanted to say - that he would never hurt himself or put his family through that sort of thing - but he couldn’t find the right words. Instead, he shrugged again.
“Chris, what’s going on? Mom ended up rushing off in tears and dad got that stoic look he gets from time to time.”
“It’s-“
“Don’t even say the word ‘nothing’ or I’ll beat you within an inch of your life,” Wyatt countered.
Chris sighed and said, “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I feel like I’m losing my mind most of the time? That I’m not sure I can let myself enjoy my life because there’s this huge chunk of me that’s expecting the floor to drop out from underneath my feet.”
Wyatt stared at him for a minute and Chris thought for sure that his brother was going to have him committed or make some innocuous comment that caused Chris to completely lose it. After what felt like hours, Wyatt replied, “Our work is getting to you, huh?”
“What?”
“I remember how Aunt Paige used to tell us how it got to mom and Aunt Phoebe sometimes, how all they wanted was a normal life and a day where they weren’t waiting for the demons to come after them. It took its toll on them and I guess it’s starting on us too.”
“Me, you mean. You can handle anything.”
Wyatt smirked and then rolled his eyes. He said, “I’m the big brother. It’s my job to handle everything.”
Chris groaned and said, “I guess that means it’s my job to wreck everything?”
“No, you’ve got my back.”
Chris smiled at that. He met his brother’s gaze and said, “Always, Wy. You’re my brother.”
“So…you need a small break from demon work. I can pick up the slack with Polly and Pete.”
“They’re too young to be dealing with this stuff,” Chris countered, trying to imagine either of his younger cousins heading into danger. He added, “And Aunt Phoebe would kill you for even suggesting it. She makes mom look like a pushover.”
Wyatt chuckled and said, “Then I’ll handle it.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Chris…”
“Like you said, I’ve got your back. Besides, that’s not…nervous breakdowns are for other people, not members of the Halliwell family. I’ll get over it.”
Chris could tell from the expression on his brother’s face that Wyatt didn’t believe him, but fortunately, Wyatt dropped the subject. He nudged Chris in the side and said, “You didn’t cry in front of Heather, did you? I’ve told you that there is a fine line between sensitive and crazy, Chris. You don’t want her to think she’s dating a big girl.”
Chris swatted at his brother and replied, “I’m not a big girl.”
“Only when you cry.”
“You’re a real jackass.”
Wyatt raised his hands in his defense and said, “Hey, I’m not the one that keeps making dramatic exits that upset the women in his life.”
“Fair enough. I’m a jackass too,” Chris admitted. He glanced down at the cars passing along below them on the bridge. “She wants to know where I disappear to and she keeps saying that I’ve changed.” Chris noticed the look on his brother’s face and snapped, “What?”
Wyatt shrugged and answered, “You have changed.” Off the look on Chris’ face, he quickly went on, “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. You’re much more wary of people and situations.”
“I’m not-“
“Chris, you accused a five-year-old girl of being a demon.”
“Well, why else would a five-year-old kid be out on the streets of San Francisco at midnight?”
“I’m just saying...you have changed a bit, Chris. And Heather is at a great disadvantage because she doesn’t know about our other life with magic.”
“Things never used to be this complicated for me,” Chris stated. He looked at his brother and said, “I knew what my purpose was, what I needed to do, and who the enemy was. Now I’m just-I’m lost.”
“I know you’ll insist that you’ve got it handled, but I think you should talk to mom. She’s been there, man,” Wyatt replied. He stood up and added, “And for god’s sake, tell your girlfriend the truth.”
Chris stared up at his brother and said, “You’re okay with that?”
“If it keeps us from enduring another family dinner night like this evening, I’d tell you to marry the girl.”
“Funny.”
“You can’t hide up here forever, bro. Sooner or later you have to face both mom and Heather.”
“I know.”
“Stop being chicken and get it over with. I’ll see you at home.”
Chris rolled his eyes and, as his brother orbbed away, shouted, “First I’m a big girl and then a chicken? Are you trying to give me a complex?”
Chris stood himself up and studied the area, looking for some small aspect of the other future he recalled so perfectly. There were no dilapidated buildings or crumbling skyscrapers in the vicinity. He had to stop harping on the negative. He had promised his father that day when everything went down with Gideon. He told his father that he would never hold it against his brother and that he would enjoy his new future.
Why couldn’t he just do that?
**
After some time, Chris orbbed into the manor and was immediately overcome with the familiar smell of his mother’s apple muffins. Even if Wyatt hadn’t told him that their mother had rushed off in tears, he would’ve known she was upset by the baking of the muffins. She only made those when she was freaking out, something everyone in the family was well aware of. The fact that it was already late was another dead giveaway.
Chris took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. His mother looked up and as he cleared his throat to apologize, she grabbed him and pulled him to her in a hug.
“Mom...lungs...no air...can’t breathe.”
Piper pulled back and slapped him on the arm. Chris grimaced and Piper said, “Don’t scare me or your father like that ever again, Christopher.”
“I’m sorry.”
Piper looked at him and then let out a long drawn-out sigh before responding, “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who should be sorry.”
“What? Mom, no-“
She raised her hand to silence him and said, “Your father and I have been trying so hard to make you forget that awful past you had that I think we’re making this tougher on you.”
“It’s not you, it’s the whole thing. I’m not sure I belong here,” Chris admitted. He hadn’t planned to say that, but there was a lot he never planned to tell his mother that always came out. She was very good at getting things out of him, which made it very hard to get out of trouble.
Piper shook her head and said, “You belong here as much anyone else, maybe more so. You made this possible, Chris. You gave us this good life and I’m thankful for every day I’ve had with you and your brother.”
“Mom…”
“I don’t know why this...thing...decided that you needed to remember both lives, but it’s done and we have to deal with it.”
“I know.”
“But you’re not alone, kiddo. You’ve got me and your dad this time around and we’re not going anywhere.”
“Promise?”
Piper smiled and rubbed her hand over his cheek. “I promise.”
“And so do I, sport.”
Chris noticed his father hovering by the door. In one quick move, his father had closed the distance between them and pulled Chris into a big bear hug. It wasn’t something his father did very often and immediately the guilt crept through him again. Chris was causing so much pain to everyone.
As if reading his mind, his mother said, “Our son seems to have inherited the family martyr complex, Leo.”
Leo smiled and patted Chris on the back before pulling away. He said, “We’re going to fix things from here on out, Chris. Okay?”
“Dad, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. It’s just going to take time, I think.”
Leo shook his head and said, “We’ve been going about this the wrong way. We need to talk about what you went through-“
“Why would I want to do that?”
“Chris, it might help you get over things,” Leo replied.
“By reliving the swell times of my other future? No thanks.”
“Your father might be right, Chris. There are no future consequences to worry about and we can’t help you come to terms with this until you explain it to us.”
Chris shook his head, “You don’t need to know about that. I don’t want it to…” Chris’ voice trailed off and he forced out, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Are you afraid we’ll look at Wyatt differently?” Piper questioned. When Chris didn’t respond, she said, “Honey, that’s not going to happen. I know that your brother has a good heart. I know that he’s a good man because of what you did for him.”
Chris felt his chest constrict and for a minute he was reminded of the pain of the blade cutting through his flesh. His hand instinctively moved to his stomach and he shut his eyes, trying to get a grip on things. What the hell was wrong him? He had the future he wanted, so why wasn’t he letting himself enjoy it?
“Chris…”
“I have this one set of memories that are full of happiness. Yes, there are still demons and close-calls, but it’s the life I always wanted. But then there is the other set, from my original future, and those are the ones that feel more tangible to me than the good set do most of the time. Sometimes it takes all my strength not to think I’ve completely lost my mind,” Chris replied. He rubbed his hands over his eyes, still unable to open them and look at his parents. “I don’t know what to trust most of the time.”
Chris opened his eyes and looked from his father to his mother. He sat down at the table and covered his head with his hands. He felt his mother’s hand on his back almost immediately and he whispered, “I wanted to hate Wyatt when he started doing all those awful things. I knew that I should’ve hated him. Everyone who still resisted him told me that we needed to kill him, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill my own brother, no matter how evil he had become. He was all I had left and...” Chris swallowed down the pain. “...and because of my selfishness other people died that will never come back.”
Chris glanced up. His father was sitting down next to him and his mother was rubbing his back. He continued, “Why do I get to have a good life after what I did? What makes me so special?”
“Because you did a good thing,” Piper stated.
“Right. Tell that to Bianca,” Chris countered.
Leo glanced at Piper and then focused on Chris. He said, “I can’t say that I know what you’re going through, but I do have experience with war, Chris.”
“It’s not the same thing-“
“The way you explain it, it was exactly that. A war. There are casualties in war…you were one of them. It’s not an easy thing to deal with and there are days the guilt can be overwhelming, but it’s not your fault,” Leo replied.
“But I’m...”
“You know what I think?” Piper said. She sat down in the other seat next to Chris and covered his hand with hers. She went on, “I think Bianca would want you to enjoy this life. She loved you, Chris, and she would want you to be happy. To experience everything that neither of you got to in that other future.”
Chris wasn’t sure what to say or what to feel. He was aware of a raw drilling in his stomach caused by opening old wounds and sharing the little bit he had. He ran his hand through his hair and said, “I wanted that for her too. I left her, Mom. I left her to handle Wyatt on her own. I knew what he was like and how he would react once he found out that we had betrayed him...and that’s the version of her you saw. You saw her after Wyatt put her through God knows what. And the sick thing? Even after he killed her...I didn’t hate him. I still hoped that I could save him.”
Piper kissed the top of his head and said, “That’s something that I love about you. You’ve got a big heart, Chris, and you always see the best in everyone. You don’t hold grudges and you have faith in people. That’s a good thing. It’s something to be proud of.”
“Is it? Because it kept me from seeing the truth. It kept me from seeing what a monster my brother was in the other future before it was too late. It kept me from figuring out that the demon I was searching for in the past was actually an elder so hellbent on the greater good.”
“None of us thought that Gideon was capable of what he did to you and your brother,” Piper replied.
Chris knew he had hit on a nerve. It dawned on him that however hard all this was on him, it couldn’t be easy on his parents to revisit his “death.” Chris stood up and said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Chris, we’re the parents. We protect you, not the other way around. Remember?” Leo replied.
“Right, but…this is too much at once. I can’t come to terms with twenty-two years of opposing memories in one night. I don’t think it’s possible.”
“I agree with him on that, Leo. We’re not going to solve this in one night,” Piper said. She chucked Chris’ chin and added, “But we will deal with this. As a family.”
“Wyatt can never know, mom,” Chris replied.
Piper smiled and said, “I know you want to protect him from this, like he always tries to protect you, but I think your brother can handle it if it ever came down to it.”
Chris shook his head and said, “I won’t ever do that to him and I won’t let either of you do that either. I can handle this, I swear.”
Leo nodded and said, “It’s your call to make, Chris. We’ll back you whatever you decide.”
“Fine. He has control over whether or not his brother knows, but I think it’s time to let his aunts know what’s going on. We might need Polly and Peter to take on a more active role until Chris is feeling better.”
“Mom...”
“Sweetie, Polly and Peter are sixteen and fourteen,” Leo interjected.
“Oh, so it’s only our sons that have to be put in danger all the time?” Piper waved him off before he could answer, adding, “My point is that Phoebe and Paige need to be informed about what’s going on.”
Chris groaned at the thought. It was bad enough having his parents hovering around him 24/7 but now he’d have to deal with his aunts too. He possessed only so much patience and his family was about to empty the reservoir. “I don’t want to freak anyone else out with this.”
“They’ll be relieved to know that one of their favorite whitelighters and nephews didn’t die that day,” Piper said.
Chris heard his mother catch on the word “die” despite her best efforts to hide it. “Mom...”
“Chris...”
“We’ll talk about this later. Let’s focus on relaxing right now,” Leo responded.
Chris forced a small, appreciative smile. He said, “I have a huge test on the nervous system that I haven’t started to study for and I’m pretty sure that my girlfriend is about to break up with me out of fear that I’m chemically unbalanced.”
Piper pointed to the stairs and said, “I think you need a good night’s sleep for once.”
“Mom, I’m fine.”
“Chris, I don’t think-“
“Piper,” Leo interrupted, shooting her a look.
She threw her hands up in defeat, muttering unintelligibly under her breath, before responding, “I’m just the mom. Pay no attention to me or my advice.”
Chris leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and then turned to hug his dad. He was still confused and pretty sure that he would be for a long time, but talking to them had helped a bit. It hadn’t solved anything - he wasn’t sure that was possible - but having a chance to unload a little had worked wonders on his mind.
“I love you, guys. I’ll call you tomorrow,” Chris replied as he orbbed out of the manor.
**
Chris entered his apartment after walking around the neighborhood for a few minutes to get his thoughts in order. He knew damn well that his brother was going to be waiting up for him under the guise of some “funny late night movie.”
He didn’t expect to find Heather sitting in Wyatt’s normal spot on the couch, shifting nervously and tapping her foot impatiently. Chris walked in and said, “Heather? What’s wrong?”
Heather jumped up from her seat. She looked at him and said, “Thank God you’re okay.”
Chris glanced at her and said, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
She raised her eyebrow at that and folded her arms. She said, “Are you kidding me?”
“Heather, it’s late and I’m-“
“You show up at my apartment upset, you take off in the middle of a discussion, and then no one can find you for hours. Gee, why would I be upset?” She shook her head and said, “You’re such a...such a...guy!”
Chris knew that it was in his best interest to look apologetic, but he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of her in a tizzy. A few chuckles escaped and she said, “This isn’t funny.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I was acting like a lunatic. I’ve had a lot of things on my mind, and you know me, Heather. I have a complex about dumping on people, but I talked to my parents and...maybe things will be okay.”
Heather’s expression softened and she reached out for his hand. She raised it to her lips and said, “I was worried about you. If anything happened to you-“
Chris wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head, and said, “Nothing’s going to happen to me...as long as I don’t fail that test on Monday.”
Heather giggled against his chest and said, “Yeah, your note-taking is rather lacking.”
“That’s what I keep you around for.” Heather hit him playfully and he added, “Well, it’s one of the reasons.”
Heather leaned up on her tip-toes and placed a quick, chaste kiss on his lips. She pulled away from his grasp and said, “You’re not off the hook though, Chris. Neither of us are.”
“Huh?”
“You were right when you said that I’m as guilty as you are of keeping secrets.”
“Heather, I wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything. I trust you.”
“I know that and I trust you too. But if we want this relationship to work, we’ve got to be completely forthright with each other. No secrets,” Heather replied. She glanced down at the floor and got that look in her eye that Chris had come to identify as worry.
He took her hand and said, “Heather, what’s wrong? I mean, I know that I have these things that I keep to myself and I want to-“
“I’m a witch, Chris.”
Chris stood there for a minute. He glanced around the room expecting his brother to jump out from behind the curtains and start laughing. He wondered if maybe Heather had figured it out and was trying to get the truth out of him, but the expression on her face made those thoughts flee rather quickly.
“What was that?”
Heather bit down on her lip and said, “I’ve wanted to tell you a million times, but I wasn’t sure that you would believe me. I mean, sometimes I still think it’s crazy but...I’m a witch. I have magical powers.”
Chris shut his eyes against the words, both relief and worry filling up his chest at once. Relief that now he could be honest about his job as the next generation of the Charmed Ones and worry that he would lose her the same way he had lost Bianca. He opened his eyes to see Heather looking at him with pleading eyes and he said, “I think I need to sit down.”
“I know how it sounds, Chris, but you’ve got to believe me.”
“I do.”
“What?”
“I believe you. It’s not...Heather...” Chris gulped down as much air as he could and asked, “What do you know about the Charmed Ones?”
Heather’s eyes widened, realizing that he was familiar with the magic world, and said, “I don’t know much, except that they were supposed to be the most powerful witches to fight against the underworld.”
Chris nodded. He pulled Heather down onto the sofa next to him. He placed his hands on her shoulders and said, “My mother is one of the Charmed Ones.”
“Your mother…”
“My father is a white lighter.”
“Chris, are you telling me that...”
“I’m a witch too, Heather. So are Wyatt and the rest of my family. All those times I’ve disappeared for a family emergency it was because I had to deal with some demon situation.”
Heather stood up and said, “Oh. Okay.”
“Heather...”
“I didn’t expect that your secret was...”
“Yeah, me either.”
”What does this mean, Chris?”
“I think this means you get to meet my family...again,” Chris paused and intertwined her hand with his. He said, “That’s if you still want to continue with this relationship.”
Heather smiled and said, “It took me three years to get you to move past friendship into something more. You think I’m giving up on you because of some pesky thing like demons?”
Chris leaned in and kissed her. For the first time all day, he felt like he (not some alternate Chris) belonged in this future. Sure, he still had a lot to deal with and now that he knew about Heather’s abilities, it would only add other worries to the mix…but maybe he wasn’t in this alone after all. Maybe that was the lesson he needed to learn in this new future.
{Fin}
Author: Tommygirl/storydivagirl
A/N: Okay, it's only about two months late, but here is the birthday fic for tinylegacies that I promised. I hope you enjoy it and I didn't do too much damage to our A/U. Hee.
A/N 2: Okay, this is a continuation in the A/U Charmed Future that tinylegacies and I created. You can read this separately, but it's best to have read: A New Future, Soulmates, and Dueling Personalities. Much love to both iamtheenemy, my constant evil beta, and dragonsinger for all the help. This is a long one - Chris muse gets like that sometimes. Feedback greatly appreciated.
Chris stared at the television, unaware of what he was watching or what was going on, and tapped his fingers on the coffee table that his Aunt Phoebe had sworn gave the apartment ambiance. He was trying to convince himself that things with Heather were progressing naturally, that he wasn’t forcing things because of who she reminded him of or working out his own issues of the past.
So far, it wasn’t going too well and he wasn’t sure how much longer things could continue the way they were. Chris could see the doubt and confusion in Heather’s eyes every time he rushed off or made up another lie to cover up his true identity and the myriad of emotions running through him every second.
It didn’t help that his parents checked in on him every few hours to make sure he was okay and hanging in there, surely causing Heather to question Chris’ sanity if he required such coddling.
“Dude, why are you watching reruns of The Golden Girls? Is there something you want to tell me?”
Chris looked up to see his brother hovering over him with a mix of amusement and worry etched on his face. This was something that had been a bit hard to get used to once again - Wyatt being overprotective and concerned about him - but it was definitely a good thing as far as Chris was concerned...most of the time.
“Huh?” Chris responded.
“Do you secretly fantasize about old ladies, bro?”
Chris’ face contorted in disgust and he pushed his brother away from him, standing himself up, and said, “You’re disgusting.”
“Some guys are into the May-December thing.”
“May-December does not equate to granny loving in the evening,” Chris countered with another light push. Wyatt laughed and Chris couldn’t help but join him before adding, “The places your mind goes to sometimes frighten me, Wy.”
Wyatt shrugged and said, “Scares me too.” Wyatt motioned to the front door and said, “We need to get to the manor for dinner. Last time we were late mom lectured me on what runs through her mind every minute we’re not at dinner. Never again do I want to endure that conversation.”
“Why aren’t we orbing?”
“A few of my buddies from work are going out for beers later and I figured we could join them.”
“We?”
“As in you and I.”
Chris frowned and asked, “Did mom ask you to do this?”
“What?”
Chris’ frown deepened. Aside from the constant prodding about his feelings every day, his parents had begun forcing his relatives to spend large quantities of time with him. It was as though they were on twenty-four hour Chris Watch and he couldn’t be left alone to his own devices otherwise he’d go stark raving mad.
Chris kept biting his tongue and tolerating it because he knew his mother and father meant well, but he was reaching the end of his patience. His parents had taken to reminding him how wonderful his life was on a daily basis. They kept pointing out all the good, trying to push aside the bad memories in favour of the new ones. But they didn’t get it - they didn’t understand that no matter how hard he tried to embrace his new future and life, there was still all the crap from before bogging down his brain.
“Chris?”
Chris folded his arms and narrowed his gaze on his brother before replying, “We don’t need to spend every minute of your free time together.”
“What are-“
“Every minute, Wy. I’m surprised you haven’t taken to following me to the bathroom in the morning.”
“Mom and dad are worried about you, Chris. They won’t tell me what’s going on, but I can tell it has them upset.”
“It’s nothing.”
Wyatt imitated Chris’ stance (another thing his older brother appeared to do better than him) and rolled his eyes. He said, “I’m not an idiot. I know something’s up with you. I’ve been trying to be patient, figuring you’d come to me when you’re ready, but...”
Chris sighed. This wasn’t a conversation he could have with Wyatt. He knew that there wasn’t much his brother wouldn’t do for him, but there were times when Chris had to be the overprotective one. And not allowing Wyatt to know about the original future that Chris had experienced was one of them. He would never do that to his brother, never unload all the terrible things that a different version of him committed. Chris wanted to protect his brother - he never wanted a glimpse of the old Wyatt to return - but Chris could see that, even with the best of intentions, his brother was hurt.
“Chris…”
“It’s nothing. Things with Heather are all weird and school is killing me and mom and dad are driving me crazy.”
Wyatt pointed to the door and said, “We’ve got to go.” When Chris didn’t say anything, Wyatt said, “I can’t force you to talk to me, but I’m here for you, okay?”
Wyatt didn’t wait for a response. He opened the front door and started down the stairs to the parking lot. Chris glanced upward as if the guidance would fall into his lap and grabbed his coat off the chair before following after Wyatt.
**
“Aren’t you too young to be taking the detective’s exam? And won’t that put you in the line of fire more often?” his mother asked, passing the salad to Chris at the dinner table.
“Piper, honey, Wyatt knows how to take care of himself,” Leo said.
“And you don’t worry this much when I’m fighting demons with Chris.”
Piper dropped her fork and said, “Don’t worry? You think I don’t worry about you and your brother whenever some demon faction attacks?” She pointed her finger at him and said, “Just wait until you have children, mister.”
Wyatt shovelled down a forkful of food and replied between bites, “I think Chris is the one heading in that direction.”
“Excuse me?” Piper said.
All eyes fell on Chris, whose face turned a crimson shade, as he devised some sort of torture for his brother. He shook his head and raised his hands in surrender before responding, “We are so not at the having-kids stage.”
“I’d certainly hope not. You’re too young. Both you and Heather are still in med school and with everything you’ve gone through-“
“Piper…” Leo warned.
Chris glanced from his mother to his father and then to Wyatt, who was watching them all carefully. Chris shook his head and said, “Heather and I are well aware of all our obligations and issues.”
“What issues?” Wyatt asked.
“It’s nothing, honey. You know how your brother is,” Piper said.
Wyatt shot her a look of disbelief and said, “Yeah, I do, which makes me wonder about what issues there could be.”
“There are no issues,” Chris stated, trying to keep from shouting. He stood up and said, “I’m fine. Perfectly fine. If everyone would stop babying me for ten minutes, you’d know that.”
“Chris, your mom and I just-“
“-Need to stop. You’re driving me crazy and it’s not helping to change things,” Chris snapped. He immediately regretted the tone he took when he saw the look on his mother’s face. He couldn’t stick around there any longer. He was afraid he’d say something really stupid or let something slip that would upset Wyatt. So he groaned and orbbed out of the manor, pretending he didn’t hear his mother calling after him.
**
Chris wasn’t sure why he chose to go to her place. She wasn’t expecting him and it wasn’t like he could explain why he was so upset. At least not without sounding like a crazy person - I’ve come from a different timeline and you could be my dead fiancé’s twin sister. Losing Heather was not an option, whatever his warped reasoning might be, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could avoid the magic talk, let alone explaining why he was so different from the Chris she knew before.
Chris smiled when Heather appeared at the door. She was dressed in a pair of sweats and one of his old tee-shirts and yet she was probably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. His grin grew wider as she smiled at him and ran her hand through her clipped hair.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight. I know how your mother is about family dinner night.”
“Well, family dinner night turned into family argument night, so I’ve come seeking sanity.”
Heather held the door open enough for him to enter and joked, “And you came here?”
Chris shoved his hands into his pockets and shut his eyes in an attempt to get his thoughts in order. It was also to avoid that moment when Heather turned around to face him. Most of the time he could differentiate between her and Bianca, but it was always in those early moments of a conversation when it was hardest for him. He found avoiding it all together worked wonders for his mental health.
He opened his eyes when Heather’s hands ran over his chest and behind his neck, pulling him toward her. He smiled at her and moved the remaining centimetres needed to kiss her. He wrapped his arms around her, trying to get as close as possible, convinced that this was all he needed to make the bad stuff go away, and sighed in contentment.
Heather grinned against his lips and said, “Sometimes you amaze me, Christopher Halliwell.”
“Do I?”
“Just when I think I have you figured out, you do something that throws me off,” Heather responded. She took his hand and led him into the living room where books were scattered across the sofa. She said, “And thank you for saving me from a night of studying.”
“I’m not sure…I should probably…” Chris tried to formulate an entire thought, but it seemed almost impossible in the moment. He glanced at the floor, hoping that looking away from Heather would help him, and said, “Yeah, about saving you? Not sure that I can tonight.”
“Chris…”
“I left things horrible with my parents and I know that Wyatt’s worried about me-“
”You’ve got to stop this. You’ve got to stop putting everyone else’s wants and needs before your own. You’re allowed to have your own life.”
Chris sighed, “I know that.”
“Do you? Because I’m not convinced.”
As far as nights went, Chris was quickly becoming convinced that this was borderline hell. He might be able to deal with fighting with his family, but not on the same day as Heather, and not when his mind decided to play with him and overwhelm him with memories of other times.
“Heather…”
“I’ve known you for a few years now, Chris, and I still feel like we barely know each other most of the time.”
He was not prepared to have this conversation now. He had seen how it had gone for his Aunts when they had gotten serious with non-magical types enough to know that sometimes…sometimes the longer it could remain secret, the better chances of romantic survival. Was it fair to Heather? Probably not, but he couldn’t deal with losing anyone else right now.
“Chris, would you look at me? What’s going on with you? One day you’re acting out romantic gestures that would make Cupid envious and the next day it’s as though I barely exist. Since you were sick a few months ago, something’s been off with you. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s there.”
“I warned you going in that my family comes first, Heather. I never lied about that.”
“Fine, but exactly what are all these emergencies that your family deals with? Is something wrong?”
“I can’t talk about it.”
“You mean won’t.”
“Don’t act like you don’t have your own secrets. I’m sure there are things about you that I don’t know, things that you keep to yourself because they don’t affect me at all.”
Heather frowned and countered, “The key words being don’t affect me, Chris. Whatever’s going on with you right now is spilling over into everything else you do, including us. I just want to know what to expect once in a while.” Her expression softened a bit and she stepped closer to him. She rubbed her fingers over his hand and added, “Before this relationship, we were friends. You could always talk to me, Chris, but now it’s like…it’s like you’re a different person half the time. It’s like you’re afraid to trust me.”
Chris winced against her words. He knew logically that she wasn’t trying to hurt him or point out that he didn’t belong in this future (something he battled with on a daily basis), but reason was something he didn’t possess in large quantities at the moment. He pried himself free of her grip and said, “Maybe I made a mistake coming here. I was upset with my family and I thought…There’s so much going on right now and sometimes I feel like you’re the only constant I have, Heather. I’m sorry if you feel like I don’t trust you. It’s not you. I don’t trust myself, or all these feelings I have most of the time and the last thing I want to do is hurt you, Heather. You have no idea how much you mean to me.”
“You mean a lot to me too, Chris. That’s why I want you to tell me what’s wrong. You’re not in this alone.”
Chris laughed mirthlessly and replied, “But I am.” He stepped back out into the hallway and opened her front door. He shook his head and said, “I’m sorry that I came here. It was a mistake.” He raised his hand in a half-wave and rushed out the door as not to give her a chance to stop him.
**
Chris stared out at the city from his spot on the bridge. He shut his eyes against the memory of his father bringing him there for the first time for two different sets of reasons - one was to tell him and Wyatt that their mother had died and the other was so that Leo could show his sons his favorite spot in all the world. Chris let out a slow breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.
He had thought that the unknown creature had done him a favor in making everything clear to him, reminding him of the good he managed to accomplish, but he wasn’t so sure anymore. He didn’t feel like he belonged in this future most of the time, wasn’t sure he deserved Heather when he had made so many promises to Bianca and let her down, and he kept waiting for that day when Wyatt came home with the blood of an innocent on his hands and a cold smile on his face.
Chris quickly wiped the tears from his face when he heard a familiar clearing of the throat. He didn’t meet the gaze or acknowledge the presence as the person sat down next to him. Chris just stared out at the city, wishing it was possible to steal some of the calm it seemed to possess.
“I figured you’d show up here sooner or later.” Chris nodded and glanced at his brother. Wyatt draped his arm over Chris’ shoulder, adding, “Heather called. She’s worried that you might hurt yourself.”
There were so many things Chris wanted to say - that he would never hurt himself or put his family through that sort of thing - but he couldn’t find the right words. Instead, he shrugged again.
“Chris, what’s going on? Mom ended up rushing off in tears and dad got that stoic look he gets from time to time.”
“It’s-“
“Don’t even say the word ‘nothing’ or I’ll beat you within an inch of your life,” Wyatt countered.
Chris sighed and said, “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I feel like I’m losing my mind most of the time? That I’m not sure I can let myself enjoy my life because there’s this huge chunk of me that’s expecting the floor to drop out from underneath my feet.”
Wyatt stared at him for a minute and Chris thought for sure that his brother was going to have him committed or make some innocuous comment that caused Chris to completely lose it. After what felt like hours, Wyatt replied, “Our work is getting to you, huh?”
“What?”
“I remember how Aunt Paige used to tell us how it got to mom and Aunt Phoebe sometimes, how all they wanted was a normal life and a day where they weren’t waiting for the demons to come after them. It took its toll on them and I guess it’s starting on us too.”
“Me, you mean. You can handle anything.”
Wyatt smirked and then rolled his eyes. He said, “I’m the big brother. It’s my job to handle everything.”
Chris groaned and said, “I guess that means it’s my job to wreck everything?”
“No, you’ve got my back.”
Chris smiled at that. He met his brother’s gaze and said, “Always, Wy. You’re my brother.”
“So…you need a small break from demon work. I can pick up the slack with Polly and Pete.”
“They’re too young to be dealing with this stuff,” Chris countered, trying to imagine either of his younger cousins heading into danger. He added, “And Aunt Phoebe would kill you for even suggesting it. She makes mom look like a pushover.”
Wyatt chuckled and said, “Then I’ll handle it.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Chris…”
“Like you said, I’ve got your back. Besides, that’s not…nervous breakdowns are for other people, not members of the Halliwell family. I’ll get over it.”
Chris could tell from the expression on his brother’s face that Wyatt didn’t believe him, but fortunately, Wyatt dropped the subject. He nudged Chris in the side and said, “You didn’t cry in front of Heather, did you? I’ve told you that there is a fine line between sensitive and crazy, Chris. You don’t want her to think she’s dating a big girl.”
Chris swatted at his brother and replied, “I’m not a big girl.”
“Only when you cry.”
“You’re a real jackass.”
Wyatt raised his hands in his defense and said, “Hey, I’m not the one that keeps making dramatic exits that upset the women in his life.”
“Fair enough. I’m a jackass too,” Chris admitted. He glanced down at the cars passing along below them on the bridge. “She wants to know where I disappear to and she keeps saying that I’ve changed.” Chris noticed the look on his brother’s face and snapped, “What?”
Wyatt shrugged and answered, “You have changed.” Off the look on Chris’ face, he quickly went on, “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. You’re much more wary of people and situations.”
“I’m not-“
“Chris, you accused a five-year-old girl of being a demon.”
“Well, why else would a five-year-old kid be out on the streets of San Francisco at midnight?”
“I’m just saying...you have changed a bit, Chris. And Heather is at a great disadvantage because she doesn’t know about our other life with magic.”
“Things never used to be this complicated for me,” Chris stated. He looked at his brother and said, “I knew what my purpose was, what I needed to do, and who the enemy was. Now I’m just-I’m lost.”
“I know you’ll insist that you’ve got it handled, but I think you should talk to mom. She’s been there, man,” Wyatt replied. He stood up and added, “And for god’s sake, tell your girlfriend the truth.”
Chris stared up at his brother and said, “You’re okay with that?”
“If it keeps us from enduring another family dinner night like this evening, I’d tell you to marry the girl.”
“Funny.”
“You can’t hide up here forever, bro. Sooner or later you have to face both mom and Heather.”
“I know.”
“Stop being chicken and get it over with. I’ll see you at home.”
Chris rolled his eyes and, as his brother orbbed away, shouted, “First I’m a big girl and then a chicken? Are you trying to give me a complex?”
Chris stood himself up and studied the area, looking for some small aspect of the other future he recalled so perfectly. There were no dilapidated buildings or crumbling skyscrapers in the vicinity. He had to stop harping on the negative. He had promised his father that day when everything went down with Gideon. He told his father that he would never hold it against his brother and that he would enjoy his new future.
Why couldn’t he just do that?
**
After some time, Chris orbbed into the manor and was immediately overcome with the familiar smell of his mother’s apple muffins. Even if Wyatt hadn’t told him that their mother had rushed off in tears, he would’ve known she was upset by the baking of the muffins. She only made those when she was freaking out, something everyone in the family was well aware of. The fact that it was already late was another dead giveaway.
Chris took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. His mother looked up and as he cleared his throat to apologize, she grabbed him and pulled him to her in a hug.
“Mom...lungs...no air...can’t breathe.”
Piper pulled back and slapped him on the arm. Chris grimaced and Piper said, “Don’t scare me or your father like that ever again, Christopher.”
“I’m sorry.”
Piper looked at him and then let out a long drawn-out sigh before responding, “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who should be sorry.”
“What? Mom, no-“
She raised her hand to silence him and said, “Your father and I have been trying so hard to make you forget that awful past you had that I think we’re making this tougher on you.”
“It’s not you, it’s the whole thing. I’m not sure I belong here,” Chris admitted. He hadn’t planned to say that, but there was a lot he never planned to tell his mother that always came out. She was very good at getting things out of him, which made it very hard to get out of trouble.
Piper shook her head and said, “You belong here as much anyone else, maybe more so. You made this possible, Chris. You gave us this good life and I’m thankful for every day I’ve had with you and your brother.”
“Mom…”
“I don’t know why this...thing...decided that you needed to remember both lives, but it’s done and we have to deal with it.”
“I know.”
“But you’re not alone, kiddo. You’ve got me and your dad this time around and we’re not going anywhere.”
“Promise?”
Piper smiled and rubbed her hand over his cheek. “I promise.”
“And so do I, sport.”
Chris noticed his father hovering by the door. In one quick move, his father had closed the distance between them and pulled Chris into a big bear hug. It wasn’t something his father did very often and immediately the guilt crept through him again. Chris was causing so much pain to everyone.
As if reading his mind, his mother said, “Our son seems to have inherited the family martyr complex, Leo.”
Leo smiled and patted Chris on the back before pulling away. He said, “We’re going to fix things from here on out, Chris. Okay?”
“Dad, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. It’s just going to take time, I think.”
Leo shook his head and said, “We’ve been going about this the wrong way. We need to talk about what you went through-“
“Why would I want to do that?”
“Chris, it might help you get over things,” Leo replied.
“By reliving the swell times of my other future? No thanks.”
“Your father might be right, Chris. There are no future consequences to worry about and we can’t help you come to terms with this until you explain it to us.”
Chris shook his head, “You don’t need to know about that. I don’t want it to…” Chris’ voice trailed off and he forced out, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Are you afraid we’ll look at Wyatt differently?” Piper questioned. When Chris didn’t respond, she said, “Honey, that’s not going to happen. I know that your brother has a good heart. I know that he’s a good man because of what you did for him.”
Chris felt his chest constrict and for a minute he was reminded of the pain of the blade cutting through his flesh. His hand instinctively moved to his stomach and he shut his eyes, trying to get a grip on things. What the hell was wrong him? He had the future he wanted, so why wasn’t he letting himself enjoy it?
“Chris…”
“I have this one set of memories that are full of happiness. Yes, there are still demons and close-calls, but it’s the life I always wanted. But then there is the other set, from my original future, and those are the ones that feel more tangible to me than the good set do most of the time. Sometimes it takes all my strength not to think I’ve completely lost my mind,” Chris replied. He rubbed his hands over his eyes, still unable to open them and look at his parents. “I don’t know what to trust most of the time.”
Chris opened his eyes and looked from his father to his mother. He sat down at the table and covered his head with his hands. He felt his mother’s hand on his back almost immediately and he whispered, “I wanted to hate Wyatt when he started doing all those awful things. I knew that I should’ve hated him. Everyone who still resisted him told me that we needed to kill him, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill my own brother, no matter how evil he had become. He was all I had left and...” Chris swallowed down the pain. “...and because of my selfishness other people died that will never come back.”
Chris glanced up. His father was sitting down next to him and his mother was rubbing his back. He continued, “Why do I get to have a good life after what I did? What makes me so special?”
“Because you did a good thing,” Piper stated.
“Right. Tell that to Bianca,” Chris countered.
Leo glanced at Piper and then focused on Chris. He said, “I can’t say that I know what you’re going through, but I do have experience with war, Chris.”
“It’s not the same thing-“
“The way you explain it, it was exactly that. A war. There are casualties in war…you were one of them. It’s not an easy thing to deal with and there are days the guilt can be overwhelming, but it’s not your fault,” Leo replied.
“But I’m...”
“You know what I think?” Piper said. She sat down in the other seat next to Chris and covered his hand with hers. She went on, “I think Bianca would want you to enjoy this life. She loved you, Chris, and she would want you to be happy. To experience everything that neither of you got to in that other future.”
Chris wasn’t sure what to say or what to feel. He was aware of a raw drilling in his stomach caused by opening old wounds and sharing the little bit he had. He ran his hand through his hair and said, “I wanted that for her too. I left her, Mom. I left her to handle Wyatt on her own. I knew what he was like and how he would react once he found out that we had betrayed him...and that’s the version of her you saw. You saw her after Wyatt put her through God knows what. And the sick thing? Even after he killed her...I didn’t hate him. I still hoped that I could save him.”
Piper kissed the top of his head and said, “That’s something that I love about you. You’ve got a big heart, Chris, and you always see the best in everyone. You don’t hold grudges and you have faith in people. That’s a good thing. It’s something to be proud of.”
“Is it? Because it kept me from seeing the truth. It kept me from seeing what a monster my brother was in the other future before it was too late. It kept me from figuring out that the demon I was searching for in the past was actually an elder so hellbent on the greater good.”
“None of us thought that Gideon was capable of what he did to you and your brother,” Piper replied.
Chris knew he had hit on a nerve. It dawned on him that however hard all this was on him, it couldn’t be easy on his parents to revisit his “death.” Chris stood up and said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Chris, we’re the parents. We protect you, not the other way around. Remember?” Leo replied.
“Right, but…this is too much at once. I can’t come to terms with twenty-two years of opposing memories in one night. I don’t think it’s possible.”
“I agree with him on that, Leo. We’re not going to solve this in one night,” Piper said. She chucked Chris’ chin and added, “But we will deal with this. As a family.”
“Wyatt can never know, mom,” Chris replied.
Piper smiled and said, “I know you want to protect him from this, like he always tries to protect you, but I think your brother can handle it if it ever came down to it.”
Chris shook his head and said, “I won’t ever do that to him and I won’t let either of you do that either. I can handle this, I swear.”
Leo nodded and said, “It’s your call to make, Chris. We’ll back you whatever you decide.”
“Fine. He has control over whether or not his brother knows, but I think it’s time to let his aunts know what’s going on. We might need Polly and Peter to take on a more active role until Chris is feeling better.”
“Mom...”
“Sweetie, Polly and Peter are sixteen and fourteen,” Leo interjected.
“Oh, so it’s only our sons that have to be put in danger all the time?” Piper waved him off before he could answer, adding, “My point is that Phoebe and Paige need to be informed about what’s going on.”
Chris groaned at the thought. It was bad enough having his parents hovering around him 24/7 but now he’d have to deal with his aunts too. He possessed only so much patience and his family was about to empty the reservoir. “I don’t want to freak anyone else out with this.”
“They’ll be relieved to know that one of their favorite whitelighters and nephews didn’t die that day,” Piper said.
Chris heard his mother catch on the word “die” despite her best efforts to hide it. “Mom...”
“Chris...”
“We’ll talk about this later. Let’s focus on relaxing right now,” Leo responded.
Chris forced a small, appreciative smile. He said, “I have a huge test on the nervous system that I haven’t started to study for and I’m pretty sure that my girlfriend is about to break up with me out of fear that I’m chemically unbalanced.”
Piper pointed to the stairs and said, “I think you need a good night’s sleep for once.”
“Mom, I’m fine.”
“Chris, I don’t think-“
“Piper,” Leo interrupted, shooting her a look.
She threw her hands up in defeat, muttering unintelligibly under her breath, before responding, “I’m just the mom. Pay no attention to me or my advice.”
Chris leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and then turned to hug his dad. He was still confused and pretty sure that he would be for a long time, but talking to them had helped a bit. It hadn’t solved anything - he wasn’t sure that was possible - but having a chance to unload a little had worked wonders on his mind.
“I love you, guys. I’ll call you tomorrow,” Chris replied as he orbbed out of the manor.
**
Chris entered his apartment after walking around the neighborhood for a few minutes to get his thoughts in order. He knew damn well that his brother was going to be waiting up for him under the guise of some “funny late night movie.”
He didn’t expect to find Heather sitting in Wyatt’s normal spot on the couch, shifting nervously and tapping her foot impatiently. Chris walked in and said, “Heather? What’s wrong?”
Heather jumped up from her seat. She looked at him and said, “Thank God you’re okay.”
Chris glanced at her and said, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
She raised her eyebrow at that and folded her arms. She said, “Are you kidding me?”
“Heather, it’s late and I’m-“
“You show up at my apartment upset, you take off in the middle of a discussion, and then no one can find you for hours. Gee, why would I be upset?” She shook her head and said, “You’re such a...such a...guy!”
Chris knew that it was in his best interest to look apologetic, but he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of her in a tizzy. A few chuckles escaped and she said, “This isn’t funny.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I was acting like a lunatic. I’ve had a lot of things on my mind, and you know me, Heather. I have a complex about dumping on people, but I talked to my parents and...maybe things will be okay.”
Heather’s expression softened and she reached out for his hand. She raised it to her lips and said, “I was worried about you. If anything happened to you-“
Chris wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head, and said, “Nothing’s going to happen to me...as long as I don’t fail that test on Monday.”
Heather giggled against his chest and said, “Yeah, your note-taking is rather lacking.”
“That’s what I keep you around for.” Heather hit him playfully and he added, “Well, it’s one of the reasons.”
Heather leaned up on her tip-toes and placed a quick, chaste kiss on his lips. She pulled away from his grasp and said, “You’re not off the hook though, Chris. Neither of us are.”
“Huh?”
“You were right when you said that I’m as guilty as you are of keeping secrets.”
“Heather, I wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything. I trust you.”
“I know that and I trust you too. But if we want this relationship to work, we’ve got to be completely forthright with each other. No secrets,” Heather replied. She glanced down at the floor and got that look in her eye that Chris had come to identify as worry.
He took her hand and said, “Heather, what’s wrong? I mean, I know that I have these things that I keep to myself and I want to-“
“I’m a witch, Chris.”
Chris stood there for a minute. He glanced around the room expecting his brother to jump out from behind the curtains and start laughing. He wondered if maybe Heather had figured it out and was trying to get the truth out of him, but the expression on her face made those thoughts flee rather quickly.
“What was that?”
Heather bit down on her lip and said, “I’ve wanted to tell you a million times, but I wasn’t sure that you would believe me. I mean, sometimes I still think it’s crazy but...I’m a witch. I have magical powers.”
Chris shut his eyes against the words, both relief and worry filling up his chest at once. Relief that now he could be honest about his job as the next generation of the Charmed Ones and worry that he would lose her the same way he had lost Bianca. He opened his eyes to see Heather looking at him with pleading eyes and he said, “I think I need to sit down.”
“I know how it sounds, Chris, but you’ve got to believe me.”
“I do.”
“What?”
“I believe you. It’s not...Heather...” Chris gulped down as much air as he could and asked, “What do you know about the Charmed Ones?”
Heather’s eyes widened, realizing that he was familiar with the magic world, and said, “I don’t know much, except that they were supposed to be the most powerful witches to fight against the underworld.”
Chris nodded. He pulled Heather down onto the sofa next to him. He placed his hands on her shoulders and said, “My mother is one of the Charmed Ones.”
“Your mother…”
“My father is a white lighter.”
“Chris, are you telling me that...”
“I’m a witch too, Heather. So are Wyatt and the rest of my family. All those times I’ve disappeared for a family emergency it was because I had to deal with some demon situation.”
Heather stood up and said, “Oh. Okay.”
“Heather...”
“I didn’t expect that your secret was...”
“Yeah, me either.”
”What does this mean, Chris?”
“I think this means you get to meet my family...again,” Chris paused and intertwined her hand with his. He said, “That’s if you still want to continue with this relationship.”
Heather smiled and said, “It took me three years to get you to move past friendship into something more. You think I’m giving up on you because of some pesky thing like demons?”
Chris leaned in and kissed her. For the first time all day, he felt like he (not some alternate Chris) belonged in this future. Sure, he still had a lot to deal with and now that he knew about Heather’s abilities, it would only add other worries to the mix…but maybe he wasn’t in this alone after all. Maybe that was the lesson he needed to learn in this new future.
{Fin}