(no subject)

[story_from_end]

so.... Heidi, my girlfriend, is acting sickly and it has me worried. scared, even. i don't want to be a widower before i'm 25. :( Heidi is the only girl to ever stay with me for... gosh, two years now, i'd reckon. since Des and I divided our pooled assets (similar to a divorce, but not quite)... but anyways... the first time i laid eyes on Heidi, and she ran up to me, jumping on me, it was love. true and undying love. she's the best girlfriend i've ever had. she doesn't talk back, much, she doesn't stalk me, and most of all? she always listens... and licks my face. though she might need a tic tac, it's nothing like Max's funky shit. ugh...

And Max, if I find out YOU have something to do with her ill-like behaviour, i'm kicking you in the fucking crotch. you fucking Austrian Shephard. your mother was an AARDVARK!







HEIDI, I LOVE YOU!