fic: Catalyst :: chapter seven
She’d hate him. She surely would. Call him a monster, all kinds of names, and she’d try to run. As far as possible. Futilely. It downright killed him that he'd have to contain her.
CHAPTER SEVEN
"You look like an eyesore," a cheery voice rang out the next day as Seunghyun sat in front of the mirror getting his hair done.
Bom sauntered over, plopping next to him casually. He could sense her giddiness a mile away but now that she was close the air just crackled with the saturated stuff.
"You look like a bubblegum fairy," he retorted, nodding at her pink dress and fluffed hair.
She scrunched up her nose. "Do not."
"Do too." He glanced at the stylists, who were busy with Chaerin, then back at her. "You done?"
"I think so." Breathing in, taking in the animated atmosphere around them - people all over the place, assistants swarming in and stylists debating, the film crew talking amongst themselves around a storyboard in the back... Some sort of order that he never quite understood was in action, unbeknownst to most in the end. The result would be astounding, no doubt, but in the meantime chaos reigned and that made his head spin in a vibrant, pleasant, albeit dizzying way. He was a man of quiet but watching chaos unfold was always refreshing, exciting. He loved it.
He could still remember the excitement of their first music video shoot, too.
He glanced up in the mirror at the set behind. "This set looks like a rainbow had an epileptic attack and threw up," he mused aloud, grinning.
"I think it's interesting," Bom defended, then squinted at him through the mirror. "You look like a wax figure with all that hair gel."
That, he kind of did, although to be honest he kind of dug to 'do. As the hair noona gestured that he was ready, he swung round to tweak Bom's nose. "I maintain that you look like a bubblegum fairy, noona," he tossed before standing up, straightening his yellow jacket. Glancing at the mirror, he bit his lip thoughtfully. Something was missing.
He whirled.
"I take it back," Bom said through pursed lips. "You actually look pretty neat. Charming."
He grinned as he reached the accessories table, picking up items at random. "Why thank you. And I take it back - it's nice seeing you out of your eternal hoodie," he said, pulling a lock of her hair in passing.
She mock-glared at him, but said nothing.
Picking up a pair of thick enamel glasses, he slid them on, turning to the lined-up makeup stations to assess the effect in the mirror. "Not that I don't mind the company, but I thought the girls' side was there," he said, pointing vaguely.
She shrugged. "Minzy's rehearsing with Bae and Ri, Chae's debating what tights she wants, and Dara's sleeping. I'm too... wired."
"Can't sit still?"
"Right." Pause. "I prefer the black ones." She nodded at the pairs of glasses in his hands. "Pink clashes."
"You're right." He switched glasses, admiring the effect a second, then turned to her, inspecting her. "And you're missing something."
"Oh, I know. I've got my eye on the tights Rinnie's holding."
Seunghyun glanced at Chaerin, then back at Bom, puzzled. "What are you waiting for then?"
She made cat claws with her hands, her mischievous eyes crinkling with laughter at the corners. "Unnie rights, of course."
Judging by Chaerin's serious mood, Seunghyung doubted she'd have much success there. But hey, maybe he was reading things wrong. Wouldn't be the first time. "How are the girls, by the way?"
Bom lowered her hands, sobering. She shrugged. "I think the meeting put things in perspective. You know Chae - closed like a clam when it comes to personal stuff. But I think Ji talked with her... I saw her ending a phone call when I got home last night and she was pretty sullen, so I'm guessing they've patched things up a little."
"Sometimes it's easier to not talk face to face," Seunghyun put in quietly.
Nodding, she gestured toward Chaerin, and Seunghyun saw Ji approaching her cautiously. As he made his presence known, Chae bowed a reserved welcome, shyly falling into step when he gestured to follow him out somewhere more private. Considering last evening's spat, Seunghyun guessed Chaerin would be needing to feed about now since Ji had evidently stayed home with the maknaes all evening - Daesung apparently going comatose as soon as he fell into bed. Understandable, considering his weekly Family Outing shoots taking potshots on his energy.
"You thirsty?" Seunghyun asked Bom quietly, all the while gauging her face for signs of hunger.
She shook her head distractedly, smiling. "I'm good. Anyway. Dara's been sleepier than usual since... you know. I think it took a toll on her."
"Who - umm, you know...?" he asked, aware of the staff buzzing around them, completely unconcerned with their presence but still... one could never be too cautious.
"Not sure. She wasn't there last night when I got home. Do you -"
"Youngbae," he interrupted as he made the connection. "He wasn't there when I got home either."
She pursed her lips. "I hope there's nothing wrong with her," she said worriedly, eyeing Dara's curled form on her makeup chair on the other side of the room. "Bae's not really the sleepy type."
"Kind of, actually," Seunghyun retorted. "Usually goes straight to bed after recording." Being that he was the oldest, Seunghyun usually had hyung rights and recorded first, then stayed a bit behind to help Ji. Sometimes he took a ride home with Youngbae and listened to his muffled snoring as he watched a bit of TV or worked on some lyrics.
As her worried frown remained, even deepened, he smiled, trying for reassurance. "I'm sure she's just adjusting. What about maknae?" he asked, redirecting her attention elsewhere.
She shrugged, gesturing to the trio - Minzy, Youngbae and Seungri - rehearsing on the dance floor. "She's fine, as you can see. But easily startled."
Seunghyun cocked an inquiring brow.
"I can tell she's more introverted. On the outside she's the usual, but on the inside she's... confused, I guess..."
As he watched the trio, focusing on Minzy, laughing and easily following her seniors in their complex footwork, Seunghyun just couldn't see it.
As though she were following his train of thought, Bom elaborated. "In a lull she'll draw into herself and jump about a mile when you pull her out of it. Makes me jump, too."
Seunghyun shrugged. Girls. Girls were scary intuitive sometimes. He still didn't know why Daesung stashed his money under his bed, but he'd bet Bom would have figured the poor sod out years ago. Along with why Seungri had more female than male friends. Yup, girls were a force to be reckoned with. Former Psychology major girls, especially.
The producer's assistant stepped into the hair-and-makeup area at that precise moment. "All right, are we all about ready? Crew's ready. Chop-chop! We got a music video to shoot."
Bom flew in the direction of the abandoned blue tights.
#
"They're doing well, don't you think?" Ji asked, plopping himself with a wince next to Seunghyun near the set's rainbow-coloured stage as they watched the girls do their thing for the cameraman. It'd been a gruelling train of hours, one after another passing by quickly yet, incredibly, feeling like a drag. Lunch's hurriedly wolfed-down sandwiches were hours ago.
"Mm?" Seunghyun asked, grabbing a swig of the bottle of water Ji carried.
"The girls. They're doing pretty well for rookies," Ji elaborated, his eyes trained on them, not missing a moment, deep in analyst mode. He squinted. "But they're too stiff."
"Give them time," Seunghyun replied. "It's their first shoot."
Ji pursed his lips, skeptical. "Could make or break them," he retorted candidly.
True. There was no disputing that very real-life fact. The Lollipop music video was going to propel them into the entertainment arena and its beautiful, decadent, vicious, heartless sphere. If this video reaped results, then 2NE1 would be off to a fantastic beginning. But... this wasn't their battle to fight. The girls would have to make their own way, find their groove, and latch on like the damnedest barnacles.
Shrugging, he cleared his throat, changing the subject because, really, what could Ji hope to achieve? Go over there and move for them? "So, I gather Chaerin warmed to...?"
Blinking, Ji tore his eyes away from the foursome. "What - ? Oh, yeah... kind of."
And that was the end of that. Ji shut him out. How talkative.
You should talk.
Leaning forward, elbows planted into his thighs, Seunghyun gladly went over when the producer called them over to work.
#
Bom sagged into their building's elevator as he walked in, nodding a polite greeting to the old doorman. How was it that he and Bom were always the last ones anywhere - in this instance, up the dorms? One second he'd been filing out of his group's van and grabbing a breath of crisp late winter air, the next he'd spied four guys and Chae, Minzy and Dara squeezing into the elevator that could have easily fit in two more. But no, up they'd flown, probably K.O.'d by their day and needing peace and sleep ASAP.
"Is it always like this?" she asked through a yawn.
"What? Me being last because they're impatient little shits?"
She chuckled sleepily. "No, I meant this. Feeling like a tsunami went through you. Is it always like this after a shoot?"
Yeah, pretty much, Seunghyun thought. "It's always full days, that's for sure," he replied lightly, winking. "Get used to it, noona. That and the long days at the music programs, variety shows, album deadlines... I could go on."
They'd arrived at his floor - well, BIGBANG's. Shuffling out, he paused at the gap between elevator and solid floor, holding the door. "I almost forgot." He lifted his arm, raising his brows in silent question. There was a video camera in there. Who knew if it also recorded sound. The building was certainly better-scale than the one his group had had when they'd started out, so they could definitely afford upscale equipment.
She blinked, and he saw her run her tongue over her teeth thoughtfully. "Ah, yeah," she said in bashful surprise. "Aigoo, I feel like a glutton."
He chuckled. "This is going to sound crude, but... your place or mine?"As she gasped and came forward to laughingly dish him a good thump, he winked, neatly stepping out of her range.
She harrumphed crossly, but her eyes showed her mirth as she mock-grudgingly stepped out. "You're a cad, Choi. Cad. Lead the way. Wouldn't want you to think I'm that desperate."
He whirled, whistling low. "Bom noona... was that innuendo?"
She tsk'd, wagging her finger at him. "Mind out of gutter, Choi. Mind out of gutter."
Chuckling under his breath, Seunghyun walked to the electronic pad and did his thing with the digits. "Ah, but you interpreted my words like innuendo, noona. I'm completely innocent here. I can't believe you'd think I'm anything less than absolutely pure. Pure and innocent, that's me."
She nearly choked on a snort. "That'll be the day." The pad beeped, unlocking the door. He pushed the door open, nodding her in first.
The dorm was softly lit, Daesung and Youngbae speaking softly in the kitchen where they'd grabbed their customary glass of water before bedtime. A light was on in Ji and Seungri's room, rustling sounds within indicating preparations for going to sleep were underway. He hoped none of them was naked, although he supposed he'd have to do the noble thing and walk ahead of Bom to make sure. Ji had a habit of walking around the dorm in his underwear, although he did curb the behaviour in the winter - but you never knew.
"Hyung - oh, noona," Youngbae said as he noticed Seunghyun's companion. His demeanour radically changed, going from easygoing to aware. "Annyeong."
Bowing her head slightly, Bom returned the greeting as she stepped out of her shoes. "I'm sorry for intruding," she said, directing her gaze to both in the kitchen.
Seunghyun gestured for her to follow, nodding at the two. "Won't take long," he said for their benefit, leaving them to their water and whatever they'd been talking about in hushed tones. Judging by their serious, thin-lipped expressions, they hadn't been discussing the weather. But whatever it was, it was none of his business.
Glimpsing into Tom & Jerry's room, he was relieved to find them both fully pajama'd and just getting the bed they shared ready. From Ji's frequent complaints, Seungri was apparently a hogger. Seunghyun had often seen their bed looking like a tornado's spit in the morning. This morning, for instance, Seungri had been the last to wake due to an upset stomach, and he'd barely had time to take a lightning-quick shower and throw clothes on before their manager whisked them off to the shooting location to begin their chaotic day.
"Night," he called inside, startling Ji who had been in the process of tucking the bedsheets in under the mattress.
"Night - oh, hi noona."
She peeked in curiously next to Seunghyun, beaming shyly. "Hi."
"Feeding?"
"Yeah."
"You girls did well today."
"Thank you. I guess we'll have to see the final product to judge."
"Don't beat yourself up. You did great."
Seunghyun frowned, bemused. Somewhere along the way Ji had changed his tune about the girls' stiffness. Oh well. It wasn't really the moment to remind him and antagonise everyone. "Come on," he mumbled, touching Bom's shoulder.
Waving goodbye to the boys, she followed him down the hall to his room at the end. He reached in, flipping the switch, and nodded her in.
She walked in slowly, taking in his room with a curious flitting gaze. Walking in himself, he pushed the door slightly closed, then turned, seeing his room through her eyes. Mostly monochrome. Black and white. Clean. He'd thrown in some colour accents here and then. Green carpet. A red desk lamp. Green curtains. The guys liked to say his room looked too sterile, but he liked to think that he could come in here to recharge his batteries.
"Let's do this," he said, going over to sit on his bed. Rolling up his sleeve, he glanced up, finding her standing in place, hugging her arms to her chest. In a rush, he remembered himself - where he was sitting. Oh. "Does this bother you? I mean, would you prefer doing this somewhere else?"
"What?" She startled. "Ah, no. Here is fine."
"I thought, you know, you'd prefer not doing it in the kitchen..."
"Right."
"And you've lived abroad." Where they don't make a case of things like this. Girls went into boys' rooms all the time in the States, didn't they? Heck, he had no idea. Assumptions, assumptions.
"Right." She smiled, somewhat wanly, then reached up to rub her neck. "Sorry. I was just, you know, looking. You're very neat."
As he stared up at her, at the light flush of her cheeks, he could have smacked himself. "You've never been in a guy's room, right?"
Her eyes snapped to his, bewildered. "Yes, actually. I have."
"Yeah...?"
"My ex's," she explained, a small wistful shadow passing in her eyes. "His room was a perpetual war zone."
"Ah."
"So it's... different. I guess I was expecting something, you know, like that, from you." She smiled softly, shrugging, and let her fingers room the smooth top of his clothes drawers. "Flamboyant. Explosive. But I guess deep down I'm not all that surprised. You're crazy, but... grounded," she said, her eyes wandering back to his. "Did you know my favourite colour is green?"
He felt himself getting drawn into her gaze... caught... "No." He supposed he should have made the connection; she wore so much green, more than other colours.
"It's a peaceful colour," she continued. "Vibrant, but soft. Especially this tone. It makes me want to just cuddle in here for a long time. Good music in my ears, a warm blanket, just... I'd take a deep breath and let myself go."
Finally she tore her gaze away, biting her cheek soberly. "Anyway," she said, clearing her throat when she realised he was staring at her, "your room's lovely."
Seunghyun felt strange sitting - he felt like pacing, like using up his suddenly overflowing energy - but he couldn't move. Strange. He felt pinned down, under scrutiny. This was a room, just some furniture and personal belongings thrown in here, for God's sake, but he felt as exposed as if he'd been naked under her gaze. And yet... he didn't hate it. "Thanks," he choked out.
She moved, then, and Seunghyun didn't hear the other sounds in the apartment anymore - couldn't hear Daesung's soft husky rumble, Seungri's muffled complaints, Ji's exasperated sigh, Youngbae filling up his glass again. Oh, he heard it, all of it, but all of that faded to the background - just some wordless white noise as Bom examined his room some more, touching figurines, peeking down at shoes, reading titles on bent spines... Seunghyun felt so damn... bare.
Then she paused, and face the bed again, hesitant. "You look tired. Maybe..."
"Bom..."
"What?"
"What's wrong?"
She swallowed visibly. Then just as visibly pulled herself together. "Nothing," she said, approaching. But then a thoughtful look came into her eyes as she studied his face.
"What does it feel like?" she asked curiously.
"What?"
"When I take your vein," she murmured.
Struck by the question, Seunghyun straightened upon the bed, exhaling slowly as it came over him like ghost memories. Phantom fingers caressing where she'd touched, lingering recollections of his blood quickening where she'd drunk from him. He forced himself to look at her as he answered. "You'll know soon enough," he replied, as composed as he could muster.
"But -"
Hell. "Just come and feed, Bom," he snapped on a loaded sigh. "We both need some sleep."
Thus reprimanded, she shut her mouth and shuffled the rest of the way over, her gaze now shuttered.
He hated feeding others. He had to remind himself of that. It was an invasion, plain and simple. Fangs driving deep and taking what wasn't theirs. So why, when he felt Bom's fangs graze his skin, when he saw the determined crease of her brow as she no doubt talked herself into scoring him like he'd taught her, did he feel a certain sense of... of anticipation? Why did he feel peaceful when he felt her gentle pulls? Why did his heart pound in his throat when he felt her small purrs against his skin as she tasted him in her mouth?
As she drank from him, he felt himself hanging between consciousness and unconsciousness, his eyes closing of their own volition. God, he hadn't realised he was this tired. It really had been a gruelling day, the girls' awkwardness with the cameramen eating at precious time. But they were done, at least. Some shoots lasted for days on end.
"Hang on," he said sleepily, opening his eyes a crack to reposition himself on the bed so he could sit against his headboard and comfortably doze. There, he gestured her over.
She crawled over, stifling a yawn. Did feeding make her sleepy, too? He thought back to her transition, when she'd fallen into deep sleep afterwards. Just like him. Or maybe it was the day's work, taking its toll.
Suddenly too tired to hold his arm up himself, he balanced it on his raised knee, but the position proved to be too awkward for her. It drew her right up against him, pressing flush against his side. She retreated in a flash. "Are you... is this okay?"
He hated this, he hated this, he hated - "Yeah," he croaked out, his hand tightening into a fist of its own volition. He hated this...
"I don't think you're..."
He positively growled, his eyes clenched shut tight. "Don't think, Bom," he snapped. "For God's sake, just drink."
"But you -"
"Bom..."
Silence. Loaded. Then, "You're not okay," she murmured, and then her hand was on his cheek, stroking softly.
He clenched himself tight, holding himself in check, otherwise he would have turned into that palm and taken what she was giving him, and asked for more. "Bom..."
Her hand disappeared, as though he'd burned her. Silence. Long. So long. He imagined her recoiling away.
He exhaled through his mouth, resigned, and bit his lip. "Don't stop," he croaked, and was horrified to hear the longing in his voice. Don't stop... what? The stroking? The feeding? Good God, he was unhinged. "Just... take as much as you need, Bom."
No movement next to him. It was like she'd become a statue.
Reach out to her, asshole. Opening his eyes, he found her puzzled ones. She was so surprised she gasped a little, her hand going to her throat as though to reassure herself she could still breathe on her own.
"I'm sorry," he said softly, grabbing her other hand and squeezing a little. "Rock-steady up here," he said, repeating her words from the previous night. "Feeding someone... you'll find out soon enough, but it's not... it's not..."
"Fun?" she finished softly.
He shook his head, gazing into her beautiful eyes. "No. I used to hate it."
Her breath caught, and she shifted, slowly, the sheets whispering underneath them like a soft breath. "And now?" she asked, searching his eyes.
Christ. Now? She had to feel the electric current in the air. She had to feel it crackle between them, had to have felt it from the moment she walked into his bedroom. Had to have been obvious.
"You want to know what it feels like when you take my vein?" he finally said, reaching out to take her hand. His fingers splayed, rising up her forearm like a whisper, and he felt gooseflesh raise under his palm where he touched. "I can feel everything. Your breath on my flesh, the rush of my blood on your tongue, the warmth of your mouth, the press of your tongue tasting me. It's... you're everywhere," he finished wistfully, brushing his fingers through a lock of her hair.
She swallowed, averting her eyes. "Oh," she murmured. "I'm sorry."
Seunghyun blinked, frowned. "What the hell for?"
"For... invading your..." She gestured weakly, encompassing his room, his space, his privacy.
He had no idea what exactly happened next. One second he was cursing under his breath, the next he had his lips pressed to hers in a bruising kiss that he could not comprehend. She gasped, jerking back with one hand pressed to his chest, her eyes wider than if he'd slapped her.
Jesus. Why the hell had he done that? "I'm sorry. I -"
"No, I -"
"I shouldn't have done that," he said, thoroughly disgusted with himself even as he rubbed his fingers back and forth across his lips. Her lips were soft. Incredibly soft. Tasted of him, faint remnants of his blood.
"Why not?"
Turning to her again, he frowned. His chest squeezed at the sight of her pink lips. At how small she looked, picking at a thread of his comforter.
There was a long pause as she bit her lip, as he couldn't think up anything to reply with. Why not? He wanted to laugh, knew he'd sound more than deranged. Insane... There were many reasons, way too many, to describe how it should never have happened.
"Seunghyun..." She touched his jaw, her warm touch striking him clear down to his toes. "Tabi..."
She seldom called him by his given name... even less by his fans' nickname for him.
"Just... take my vein, goddammit."
Author's note:
Being that he was the oldest, Seunghyun usually had hyung rights and recorded first, then stayed a bit behind to help Ji. I remember watching a 2NE1tv episode where GD talked about the recording order, and that he usually recorded last because he's the one ordering them or something. I'm pretty sure I remember him saying that the order is basically oldest to youngest -- Seungri even admitted that he felt bad because GD would have to stay up late and endure their/his (?) crabby mood and then record after him until the small hours of the morning. On the other hand, considering that TOP has some producing experience and that he usually writes his own raps, I would think that he probably stays a bit to help out where he can.
"The girls. They're doing pretty well for rookies," Ji elaborated, his eyes trained on them, not missing a moment, deep in analyst mode. He squinted. "But they're too stiff."" That's a personal opinion right there. I'm not hating on the girls, though. Hear me out. Performing for a camera can be a bit restrictive, and it's completely different from performing for an audience. The camera has to love you, and vice versa. I guess I'm targeting Bom especially here since the first time I watched the Lollipop MV I felt she looked a bit awkward. Regardless, I love the girls, I adore Bom, and I think the Lollipop MV is fabulous amounts of happy. Albeit, yes, made of rainbow refuse ;P I'm so not a kyoooo type of girl haha.
Ji had a habit of walking around the dorm in his underwear, although he did curb the behaviour in the winter - but you never knew. Um, no, this was not fueled by wet dreams haha. It's just something I like doing at least when there's no one home. I suppose I'll shock a bunch of people in Korea when they see some waygook walking around her officetel in her undies lol.
So! He kissed her! Let us revel in the glory of that tiny, tiny little scene, and prepare for... er, more angst. Sorry!
CHAPTER SEVEN
"You look like an eyesore," a cheery voice rang out the next day as Seunghyun sat in front of the mirror getting his hair done.
Bom sauntered over, plopping next to him casually. He could sense her giddiness a mile away but now that she was close the air just crackled with the saturated stuff.
"You look like a bubblegum fairy," he retorted, nodding at her pink dress and fluffed hair.
She scrunched up her nose. "Do not."
"Do too." He glanced at the stylists, who were busy with Chaerin, then back at her. "You done?"
"I think so." Breathing in, taking in the animated atmosphere around them - people all over the place, assistants swarming in and stylists debating, the film crew talking amongst themselves around a storyboard in the back... Some sort of order that he never quite understood was in action, unbeknownst to most in the end. The result would be astounding, no doubt, but in the meantime chaos reigned and that made his head spin in a vibrant, pleasant, albeit dizzying way. He was a man of quiet but watching chaos unfold was always refreshing, exciting. He loved it.
He could still remember the excitement of their first music video shoot, too.
He glanced up in the mirror at the set behind. "This set looks like a rainbow had an epileptic attack and threw up," he mused aloud, grinning.
"I think it's interesting," Bom defended, then squinted at him through the mirror. "You look like a wax figure with all that hair gel."
That, he kind of did, although to be honest he kind of dug to 'do. As the hair noona gestured that he was ready, he swung round to tweak Bom's nose. "I maintain that you look like a bubblegum fairy, noona," he tossed before standing up, straightening his yellow jacket. Glancing at the mirror, he bit his lip thoughtfully. Something was missing.
He whirled.
"I take it back," Bom said through pursed lips. "You actually look pretty neat. Charming."
He grinned as he reached the accessories table, picking up items at random. "Why thank you. And I take it back - it's nice seeing you out of your eternal hoodie," he said, pulling a lock of her hair in passing.
She mock-glared at him, but said nothing.
Picking up a pair of thick enamel glasses, he slid them on, turning to the lined-up makeup stations to assess the effect in the mirror. "Not that I don't mind the company, but I thought the girls' side was there," he said, pointing vaguely.
She shrugged. "Minzy's rehearsing with Bae and Ri, Chae's debating what tights she wants, and Dara's sleeping. I'm too... wired."
"Can't sit still?"
"Right." Pause. "I prefer the black ones." She nodded at the pairs of glasses in his hands. "Pink clashes."
"You're right." He switched glasses, admiring the effect a second, then turned to her, inspecting her. "And you're missing something."
"Oh, I know. I've got my eye on the tights Rinnie's holding."
Seunghyun glanced at Chaerin, then back at Bom, puzzled. "What are you waiting for then?"
She made cat claws with her hands, her mischievous eyes crinkling with laughter at the corners. "Unnie rights, of course."
Judging by Chaerin's serious mood, Seunghyung doubted she'd have much success there. But hey, maybe he was reading things wrong. Wouldn't be the first time. "How are the girls, by the way?"
Bom lowered her hands, sobering. She shrugged. "I think the meeting put things in perspective. You know Chae - closed like a clam when it comes to personal stuff. But I think Ji talked with her... I saw her ending a phone call when I got home last night and she was pretty sullen, so I'm guessing they've patched things up a little."
"Sometimes it's easier to not talk face to face," Seunghyun put in quietly.
Nodding, she gestured toward Chaerin, and Seunghyun saw Ji approaching her cautiously. As he made his presence known, Chae bowed a reserved welcome, shyly falling into step when he gestured to follow him out somewhere more private. Considering last evening's spat, Seunghyun guessed Chaerin would be needing to feed about now since Ji had evidently stayed home with the maknaes all evening - Daesung apparently going comatose as soon as he fell into bed. Understandable, considering his weekly Family Outing shoots taking potshots on his energy.
"You thirsty?" Seunghyun asked Bom quietly, all the while gauging her face for signs of hunger.
She shook her head distractedly, smiling. "I'm good. Anyway. Dara's been sleepier than usual since... you know. I think it took a toll on her."
"Who - umm, you know...?" he asked, aware of the staff buzzing around them, completely unconcerned with their presence but still... one could never be too cautious.
"Not sure. She wasn't there last night when I got home. Do you -"
"Youngbae," he interrupted as he made the connection. "He wasn't there when I got home either."
She pursed her lips. "I hope there's nothing wrong with her," she said worriedly, eyeing Dara's curled form on her makeup chair on the other side of the room. "Bae's not really the sleepy type."
"Kind of, actually," Seunghyun retorted. "Usually goes straight to bed after recording." Being that he was the oldest, Seunghyun usually had hyung rights and recorded first, then stayed a bit behind to help Ji. Sometimes he took a ride home with Youngbae and listened to his muffled snoring as he watched a bit of TV or worked on some lyrics.
As her worried frown remained, even deepened, he smiled, trying for reassurance. "I'm sure she's just adjusting. What about maknae?" he asked, redirecting her attention elsewhere.
She shrugged, gesturing to the trio - Minzy, Youngbae and Seungri - rehearsing on the dance floor. "She's fine, as you can see. But easily startled."
Seunghyun cocked an inquiring brow.
"I can tell she's more introverted. On the outside she's the usual, but on the inside she's... confused, I guess..."
As he watched the trio, focusing on Minzy, laughing and easily following her seniors in their complex footwork, Seunghyun just couldn't see it.
As though she were following his train of thought, Bom elaborated. "In a lull she'll draw into herself and jump about a mile when you pull her out of it. Makes me jump, too."
Seunghyun shrugged. Girls. Girls were scary intuitive sometimes. He still didn't know why Daesung stashed his money under his bed, but he'd bet Bom would have figured the poor sod out years ago. Along with why Seungri had more female than male friends. Yup, girls were a force to be reckoned with. Former Psychology major girls, especially.
The producer's assistant stepped into the hair-and-makeup area at that precise moment. "All right, are we all about ready? Crew's ready. Chop-chop! We got a music video to shoot."
Bom flew in the direction of the abandoned blue tights.
#
"They're doing well, don't you think?" Ji asked, plopping himself with a wince next to Seunghyun near the set's rainbow-coloured stage as they watched the girls do their thing for the cameraman. It'd been a gruelling train of hours, one after another passing by quickly yet, incredibly, feeling like a drag. Lunch's hurriedly wolfed-down sandwiches were hours ago.
"Mm?" Seunghyun asked, grabbing a swig of the bottle of water Ji carried.
"The girls. They're doing pretty well for rookies," Ji elaborated, his eyes trained on them, not missing a moment, deep in analyst mode. He squinted. "But they're too stiff."
"Give them time," Seunghyun replied. "It's their first shoot."
Ji pursed his lips, skeptical. "Could make or break them," he retorted candidly.
True. There was no disputing that very real-life fact. The Lollipop music video was going to propel them into the entertainment arena and its beautiful, decadent, vicious, heartless sphere. If this video reaped results, then 2NE1 would be off to a fantastic beginning. But... this wasn't their battle to fight. The girls would have to make their own way, find their groove, and latch on like the damnedest barnacles.
Shrugging, he cleared his throat, changing the subject because, really, what could Ji hope to achieve? Go over there and move for them? "So, I gather Chaerin warmed to...?"
Blinking, Ji tore his eyes away from the foursome. "What - ? Oh, yeah... kind of."
And that was the end of that. Ji shut him out. How talkative.
You should talk.
Leaning forward, elbows planted into his thighs, Seunghyun gladly went over when the producer called them over to work.
#
Bom sagged into their building's elevator as he walked in, nodding a polite greeting to the old doorman. How was it that he and Bom were always the last ones anywhere - in this instance, up the dorms? One second he'd been filing out of his group's van and grabbing a breath of crisp late winter air, the next he'd spied four guys and Chae, Minzy and Dara squeezing into the elevator that could have easily fit in two more. But no, up they'd flown, probably K.O.'d by their day and needing peace and sleep ASAP.
"Is it always like this?" she asked through a yawn.
"What? Me being last because they're impatient little shits?"
She chuckled sleepily. "No, I meant this. Feeling like a tsunami went through you. Is it always like this after a shoot?"
Yeah, pretty much, Seunghyun thought. "It's always full days, that's for sure," he replied lightly, winking. "Get used to it, noona. That and the long days at the music programs, variety shows, album deadlines... I could go on."
They'd arrived at his floor - well, BIGBANG's. Shuffling out, he paused at the gap between elevator and solid floor, holding the door. "I almost forgot." He lifted his arm, raising his brows in silent question. There was a video camera in there. Who knew if it also recorded sound. The building was certainly better-scale than the one his group had had when they'd started out, so they could definitely afford upscale equipment.
She blinked, and he saw her run her tongue over her teeth thoughtfully. "Ah, yeah," she said in bashful surprise. "Aigoo, I feel like a glutton."
He chuckled. "This is going to sound crude, but... your place or mine?"As she gasped and came forward to laughingly dish him a good thump, he winked, neatly stepping out of her range.
She harrumphed crossly, but her eyes showed her mirth as she mock-grudgingly stepped out. "You're a cad, Choi. Cad. Lead the way. Wouldn't want you to think I'm that desperate."
He whirled, whistling low. "Bom noona... was that innuendo?"
She tsk'd, wagging her finger at him. "Mind out of gutter, Choi. Mind out of gutter."
Chuckling under his breath, Seunghyun walked to the electronic pad and did his thing with the digits. "Ah, but you interpreted my words like innuendo, noona. I'm completely innocent here. I can't believe you'd think I'm anything less than absolutely pure. Pure and innocent, that's me."
She nearly choked on a snort. "That'll be the day." The pad beeped, unlocking the door. He pushed the door open, nodding her in first.
The dorm was softly lit, Daesung and Youngbae speaking softly in the kitchen where they'd grabbed their customary glass of water before bedtime. A light was on in Ji and Seungri's room, rustling sounds within indicating preparations for going to sleep were underway. He hoped none of them was naked, although he supposed he'd have to do the noble thing and walk ahead of Bom to make sure. Ji had a habit of walking around the dorm in his underwear, although he did curb the behaviour in the winter - but you never knew.
"Hyung - oh, noona," Youngbae said as he noticed Seunghyun's companion. His demeanour radically changed, going from easygoing to aware. "Annyeong."
Bowing her head slightly, Bom returned the greeting as she stepped out of her shoes. "I'm sorry for intruding," she said, directing her gaze to both in the kitchen.
Seunghyun gestured for her to follow, nodding at the two. "Won't take long," he said for their benefit, leaving them to their water and whatever they'd been talking about in hushed tones. Judging by their serious, thin-lipped expressions, they hadn't been discussing the weather. But whatever it was, it was none of his business.
Glimpsing into Tom & Jerry's room, he was relieved to find them both fully pajama'd and just getting the bed they shared ready. From Ji's frequent complaints, Seungri was apparently a hogger. Seunghyun had often seen their bed looking like a tornado's spit in the morning. This morning, for instance, Seungri had been the last to wake due to an upset stomach, and he'd barely had time to take a lightning-quick shower and throw clothes on before their manager whisked them off to the shooting location to begin their chaotic day.
"Night," he called inside, startling Ji who had been in the process of tucking the bedsheets in under the mattress.
"Night - oh, hi noona."
She peeked in curiously next to Seunghyun, beaming shyly. "Hi."
"Feeding?"
"Yeah."
"You girls did well today."
"Thank you. I guess we'll have to see the final product to judge."
"Don't beat yourself up. You did great."
Seunghyun frowned, bemused. Somewhere along the way Ji had changed his tune about the girls' stiffness. Oh well. It wasn't really the moment to remind him and antagonise everyone. "Come on," he mumbled, touching Bom's shoulder.
Waving goodbye to the boys, she followed him down the hall to his room at the end. He reached in, flipping the switch, and nodded her in.
She walked in slowly, taking in his room with a curious flitting gaze. Walking in himself, he pushed the door slightly closed, then turned, seeing his room through her eyes. Mostly monochrome. Black and white. Clean. He'd thrown in some colour accents here and then. Green carpet. A red desk lamp. Green curtains. The guys liked to say his room looked too sterile, but he liked to think that he could come in here to recharge his batteries.
"Let's do this," he said, going over to sit on his bed. Rolling up his sleeve, he glanced up, finding her standing in place, hugging her arms to her chest. In a rush, he remembered himself - where he was sitting. Oh. "Does this bother you? I mean, would you prefer doing this somewhere else?"
"What?" She startled. "Ah, no. Here is fine."
"I thought, you know, you'd prefer not doing it in the kitchen..."
"Right."
"And you've lived abroad." Where they don't make a case of things like this. Girls went into boys' rooms all the time in the States, didn't they? Heck, he had no idea. Assumptions, assumptions.
"Right." She smiled, somewhat wanly, then reached up to rub her neck. "Sorry. I was just, you know, looking. You're very neat."
As he stared up at her, at the light flush of her cheeks, he could have smacked himself. "You've never been in a guy's room, right?"
Her eyes snapped to his, bewildered. "Yes, actually. I have."
"Yeah...?"
"My ex's," she explained, a small wistful shadow passing in her eyes. "His room was a perpetual war zone."
"Ah."
"So it's... different. I guess I was expecting something, you know, like that, from you." She smiled softly, shrugging, and let her fingers room the smooth top of his clothes drawers. "Flamboyant. Explosive. But I guess deep down I'm not all that surprised. You're crazy, but... grounded," she said, her eyes wandering back to his. "Did you know my favourite colour is green?"
He felt himself getting drawn into her gaze... caught... "No." He supposed he should have made the connection; she wore so much green, more than other colours.
"It's a peaceful colour," she continued. "Vibrant, but soft. Especially this tone. It makes me want to just cuddle in here for a long time. Good music in my ears, a warm blanket, just... I'd take a deep breath and let myself go."
Finally she tore her gaze away, biting her cheek soberly. "Anyway," she said, clearing her throat when she realised he was staring at her, "your room's lovely."
Seunghyun felt strange sitting - he felt like pacing, like using up his suddenly overflowing energy - but he couldn't move. Strange. He felt pinned down, under scrutiny. This was a room, just some furniture and personal belongings thrown in here, for God's sake, but he felt as exposed as if he'd been naked under her gaze. And yet... he didn't hate it. "Thanks," he choked out.
She moved, then, and Seunghyun didn't hear the other sounds in the apartment anymore - couldn't hear Daesung's soft husky rumble, Seungri's muffled complaints, Ji's exasperated sigh, Youngbae filling up his glass again. Oh, he heard it, all of it, but all of that faded to the background - just some wordless white noise as Bom examined his room some more, touching figurines, peeking down at shoes, reading titles on bent spines... Seunghyun felt so damn... bare.
Then she paused, and face the bed again, hesitant. "You look tired. Maybe..."
"Bom..."
"What?"
"What's wrong?"
She swallowed visibly. Then just as visibly pulled herself together. "Nothing," she said, approaching. But then a thoughtful look came into her eyes as she studied his face.
"What does it feel like?" she asked curiously.
"What?"
"When I take your vein," she murmured.
Struck by the question, Seunghyun straightened upon the bed, exhaling slowly as it came over him like ghost memories. Phantom fingers caressing where she'd touched, lingering recollections of his blood quickening where she'd drunk from him. He forced himself to look at her as he answered. "You'll know soon enough," he replied, as composed as he could muster.
"But -"
Hell. "Just come and feed, Bom," he snapped on a loaded sigh. "We both need some sleep."
Thus reprimanded, she shut her mouth and shuffled the rest of the way over, her gaze now shuttered.
He hated feeding others. He had to remind himself of that. It was an invasion, plain and simple. Fangs driving deep and taking what wasn't theirs. So why, when he felt Bom's fangs graze his skin, when he saw the determined crease of her brow as she no doubt talked herself into scoring him like he'd taught her, did he feel a certain sense of... of anticipation? Why did he feel peaceful when he felt her gentle pulls? Why did his heart pound in his throat when he felt her small purrs against his skin as she tasted him in her mouth?
As she drank from him, he felt himself hanging between consciousness and unconsciousness, his eyes closing of their own volition. God, he hadn't realised he was this tired. It really had been a gruelling day, the girls' awkwardness with the cameramen eating at precious time. But they were done, at least. Some shoots lasted for days on end.
"Hang on," he said sleepily, opening his eyes a crack to reposition himself on the bed so he could sit against his headboard and comfortably doze. There, he gestured her over.
She crawled over, stifling a yawn. Did feeding make her sleepy, too? He thought back to her transition, when she'd fallen into deep sleep afterwards. Just like him. Or maybe it was the day's work, taking its toll.
Suddenly too tired to hold his arm up himself, he balanced it on his raised knee, but the position proved to be too awkward for her. It drew her right up against him, pressing flush against his side. She retreated in a flash. "Are you... is this okay?"
He hated this, he hated this, he hated - "Yeah," he croaked out, his hand tightening into a fist of its own volition. He hated this...
"I don't think you're..."
He positively growled, his eyes clenched shut tight. "Don't think, Bom," he snapped. "For God's sake, just drink."
"But you -"
"Bom..."
Silence. Loaded. Then, "You're not okay," she murmured, and then her hand was on his cheek, stroking softly.
He clenched himself tight, holding himself in check, otherwise he would have turned into that palm and taken what she was giving him, and asked for more. "Bom..."
Her hand disappeared, as though he'd burned her. Silence. Long. So long. He imagined her recoiling away.
He exhaled through his mouth, resigned, and bit his lip. "Don't stop," he croaked, and was horrified to hear the longing in his voice. Don't stop... what? The stroking? The feeding? Good God, he was unhinged. "Just... take as much as you need, Bom."
No movement next to him. It was like she'd become a statue.
Reach out to her, asshole. Opening his eyes, he found her puzzled ones. She was so surprised she gasped a little, her hand going to her throat as though to reassure herself she could still breathe on her own.
"I'm sorry," he said softly, grabbing her other hand and squeezing a little. "Rock-steady up here," he said, repeating her words from the previous night. "Feeding someone... you'll find out soon enough, but it's not... it's not..."
"Fun?" she finished softly.
He shook his head, gazing into her beautiful eyes. "No. I used to hate it."
Her breath caught, and she shifted, slowly, the sheets whispering underneath them like a soft breath. "And now?" she asked, searching his eyes.
Christ. Now? She had to feel the electric current in the air. She had to feel it crackle between them, had to have felt it from the moment she walked into his bedroom. Had to have been obvious.
"You want to know what it feels like when you take my vein?" he finally said, reaching out to take her hand. His fingers splayed, rising up her forearm like a whisper, and he felt gooseflesh raise under his palm where he touched. "I can feel everything. Your breath on my flesh, the rush of my blood on your tongue, the warmth of your mouth, the press of your tongue tasting me. It's... you're everywhere," he finished wistfully, brushing his fingers through a lock of her hair.
She swallowed, averting her eyes. "Oh," she murmured. "I'm sorry."
Seunghyun blinked, frowned. "What the hell for?"
"For... invading your..." She gestured weakly, encompassing his room, his space, his privacy.
He had no idea what exactly happened next. One second he was cursing under his breath, the next he had his lips pressed to hers in a bruising kiss that he could not comprehend. She gasped, jerking back with one hand pressed to his chest, her eyes wider than if he'd slapped her.
Jesus. Why the hell had he done that? "I'm sorry. I -"
"No, I -"
"I shouldn't have done that," he said, thoroughly disgusted with himself even as he rubbed his fingers back and forth across his lips. Her lips were soft. Incredibly soft. Tasted of him, faint remnants of his blood.
"Why not?"
Turning to her again, he frowned. His chest squeezed at the sight of her pink lips. At how small she looked, picking at a thread of his comforter.
There was a long pause as she bit her lip, as he couldn't think up anything to reply with. Why not? He wanted to laugh, knew he'd sound more than deranged. Insane... There were many reasons, way too many, to describe how it should never have happened.
"Seunghyun..." She touched his jaw, her warm touch striking him clear down to his toes. "Tabi..."
She seldom called him by his given name... even less by his fans' nickname for him.
"Just... take my vein, goddammit."
Author's note:
Being that he was the oldest, Seunghyun usually had hyung rights and recorded first, then stayed a bit behind to help Ji. I remember watching a 2NE1tv episode where GD talked about the recording order, and that he usually recorded last because he's the one ordering them or something. I'm pretty sure I remember him saying that the order is basically oldest to youngest -- Seungri even admitted that he felt bad because GD would have to stay up late and endure their/his (?) crabby mood and then record after him until the small hours of the morning. On the other hand, considering that TOP has some producing experience and that he usually writes his own raps, I would think that he probably stays a bit to help out where he can.
"The girls. They're doing pretty well for rookies," Ji elaborated, his eyes trained on them, not missing a moment, deep in analyst mode. He squinted. "But they're too stiff."" That's a personal opinion right there. I'm not hating on the girls, though. Hear me out. Performing for a camera can be a bit restrictive, and it's completely different from performing for an audience. The camera has to love you, and vice versa. I guess I'm targeting Bom especially here since the first time I watched the Lollipop MV I felt she looked a bit awkward. Regardless, I love the girls, I adore Bom, and I think the Lollipop MV is fabulous amounts of happy. Albeit, yes, made of rainbow refuse ;P I'm so not a kyoooo type of girl haha.
Ji had a habit of walking around the dorm in his underwear, although he did curb the behaviour in the winter - but you never knew. Um, no, this was not fueled by wet dreams haha. It's just something I like doing at least when there's no one home. I suppose I'll shock a bunch of people in Korea when they see some waygook walking around her officetel in her undies lol.
So! He kissed her! Let us revel in the glory of that tiny, tiny little scene, and prepare for... er, more angst. Sorry!