fic: Catalyst :: chapter six
Author's note: Oops, I meant to post this a week ago :/ Forgive me!
She’d hate him. She surely would. Call him a monster, all kinds of names, and she’d try to run. As far as possible. Futilely. It downright killed him that he'd have to contain her.
CHAPTER SIX
"I need to apologise." Bom's voice snatched him from his thoughts as he headed out of the recording studio where he'd left his things before the meeting.
Taken by surprise, he whirled on her. She was leaning on the wall next to the door, arms crossed and staring at the floor, as though she'd been there a while. Moreover, like she worried about what she wanted to say. What he would say.
"What for?" he asked.
"For what I said... you know... earlier. It wasn't my place. And..." She bit her lip, visibly stalling. "And I also need to drink."
The arm which had previously been about to sling his backpack on his shoulder dropped. "Oh... right." He backed up into the studio again, inviting her in with his free arm.
The next few instants were quiet - so much quiet, always - as he made himself ready. He removed his coat, dropped it on the back of the controller chair, and put his bag on the swivelling chair. Then he joined her on the couch, beginning to roll his sleeve up mechanically. "Wrist or arm?" he asked distractedly.
She shifted uneasily next to him, and he could feel the tension in her body, in the way she held herself slightly away from him. "Er, does it matter?" she asked in a small voice.
Seunghyun thought about it a second, then shrugged. "No, not really." Though personally he preferred the wrist. It meant he didn't have to experience unnecessary physical contact. Looking up, he nodded. "It's up to you," he said, suspending his rolling as he awaited her decision.
A sickening thought insinuated itself into his mind right then: please don't ask for the throat, please don't ask for the throat, please don't ask for the throat. Please God no.
Bom bit her cheek, staring at his half-covered arm, appearing to debate with herself a moment. "I'll... try the arm this time," she finally decided.
Silently, efficiently, Seunghyun heeded her request, rolling his sleeve up to his elbow, and then he scooted closer to her on the couch, catching her wide-eyed gaze and her slightly parted lips. They revealed her small, pointed fangs growing, testament to her hunger. Smothering his apprehension, he lifted his arm in encouragement. "Go ahead."
Swallowing slowly, she reached out timidly, her warm hand barely touching his arm before she retreated it with a troubled flush in her cheeks. "I can't."
Seunghyun sighed. "You have to, Bom."
"I know." She bit her lip again, wounding it with a surprised cry before she covered her mouth with a little nervous laugh. "I know. It's just..."
"Weird," he finished for her, understanding. He'd been there, too. "I know. But I told you before: it doesn't hurt." Thinking she might respond better with a description, he added, "I'll feel a small pinch and a little pull in my veins when you start drinking but nothing more. You won't hurt me. I promise."
Her eyes seemed to be saying Are you sure? one last time before she reached out again, holding his gaze. "You'd better not be lying, Tabi," she warned as she raised his arm to her mouth, now staring at it like a difficult Math problem. Funny girl.
"I'm -" He sucked in a breath as she struck suddenly, a bit too slowly for his liking as her fangs pierced deeper at an excruciating pace. He literally felt his skin tear under the pressure of her fangs. Then he relaxed, relieved, when she began drinking in small sips. "Not," he finished belatedly, leaning sideways into the couch's back.
A whirlwind of sensations invariably accompanied feeding, although he'd only once been on the giving end and had never wanted to repeat the nightmare. Christ, he'd wanted to throw up. But now... Gentle pulls, the gliding rasp of a tongue, his own heart thudding through his veins, the press of soft lips, manicured nails digging into his arm... a maelstrom of touches and the rush of his blood on Bom's tongue... He felt it all. All the way to his core. A heady rush, hovering just within the frame of his sanity, quickening, weaving in his blood.
His head pitched back into the cushioned headrest, a roar building in him as he inhaled with a hiss, snapping his eyes shut to shut it out. It didn't help. It only magnified... everything.
She must have felt him tense, because her mouth left his arm, and he felt the cold air hit his moist skin with a shudder. "Do you want me to stop?"
Yes... No... Christ. Seunghyung forced his eyes open. "I'm fine," he croaked.
She pursed her lips, her eyes hardening in accusation. "You're not," she snapped. "You told me it doesn't hurt."
Shifting, Seunghyun cleared his throat. "It doesn't." Believe me.
"But you..." Her eyes lost their spark of confrontation, and she pulled away, defeated, drawing herself to her feet. There, she paused, her tiny fists balled at her sides, until she whirled to face him. "I'm not her - them - whatever -" she began, waving her hands in annoyed dismissal, "and I'm sorry we're stuck with each other until I'm... I don't know... until I'm able to go and hunt for my own man, I guess you could say. I can't fucking wait. I can't wait to be rid of you and your goddamn harem. I'm not them. I get it. You don't need to -" Obviously distressed, she bit back whatever she'd been about to say and turned to leave without another word.
His hand clamped on her arm, jerking her back as he stood, towering over her. She glared up at him, so tiny before him. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Bom. I'd shut the hell up if I were you."
He felt the gooseflesh raise under his palm, saw the fear creeping in the edges of her eyes. But she maintained her mask of bravado. "Or what," she shot back defiantly.
That was it. He'd had it. With a harried grunt he pushed her back, pressing her hard against the closed door, locking it slowly, ever so slowly, shhh-lck, just to feel the shudder lick through her. Then he leaned in, encasing her loosely as he held her frightened gaze. "You want to know?" he finally growled, done with being provoked. "You want to know the number of women I drink from, huh? How much? How I just can't fucking wait to be done with you here so I can zip to the closest available one and cleanse myself of you? Is this what you want?"
For a change, Bom was speechless, trembling within the cage of his arms.
Seunghyun held her gaze a moment longer, then sighed, dropping his head. "Dammit, Bom," he hissed. "We both nearly died because of me. Doesn't that tell you something?"
"I don't..." Bom started in a small voice, then petered off.
Seunghyun lifted his head, grabbing onto her gaze like a drowning man. "I hate feeding, Bom. I hadn't fed in months."
Bom stopped breathing; Seunghyun looked away, hating the pity he found in her eyes. But he couldn't stop talking anymore. Let her... let her make of him what she would. "I don't have a harem," he chuckled hollowly. "One... I usually feed from one person. Please don't ask me who."
She grazed his arm lightly, raising shivers. "Why," she whispered, searching his eyes with an expression Seunghyun couldn't describe.
Tell her.
He couldn't.
"You love her," she murmured suddenly, almost a question but not quite, and she shrank back a little, her fingers retreating.
Leaving him... oddly bereft. "No."
Her eyes searched his, searched for the truth. "Then why?" she asked at length, seemingly satisfied with his negation. "What happened to you?"
Seunghyun hadn't realised he'd been so tense until Bom's fingers returned to his arms, both, and he willingly released the cage around her, staring at her fingers linger before dropping, too. He glanced up. "It's amazing, you know. How you didn't end up fucked up like me."
"I'm a former Psychology major." She smiled brilliantly, cocking her head. "Rock-steady up here." Sobering, she lifted her hand, held it aloft a second, then dropped it again. "Tell me, Tabi."
Tell her. And then he did. God save them both, he did. "It was raining hard that day," he began, moving to lean against the door next to her. "One of those freak autumn days, too-hot, too-humid. I'd been rehearsing the La La La dance in the garage, worrying about our debut, and suddenly there she was, leaning against the stairway door like she'd been watching me all along. She just told me, Oh, don't mind me. But I couldn't." He chuckled darkly in remembrance. "I mean, come on, I'm terrible and she's... Anyway, yeah. So I made to get away. Is your name Choi Seunghyun? she asked. So I said yes. That's all you have to show after all the hard training? She scoffed. You're going to be eaten alive in this industry, you know. Despite your... honourable efforts."
"What?" Bom hissed indignantly under her breath.
Seunghyun shrugged. "It was the truth... Anyway, one thing led to another and then suddenly I'm having seizures and looking up at the garage ceiling fan going round and round sounding like a fucking jackhammer. I'm dying. I was so sure of it. I couldn't breathe. There she is, all business-like. Remote. My gut feels rancid, my veins feel like fire. I know I'm dying. Then I'm drinking. Then vomiting... I'll spare you the details... Then I'm hallucinating really badly. I'm talking really out-there stuff. Shivering. Dying some more. God, the pain. From the corner of my eye I can see her. She's talking to me from above. I can't hear what she's saying but she's weaving in and out, in and out. Strangely I'm aware that I'm delirious. Then unconscious. When I come to it's dark out and I'm shivering from the drop in temperature, from my own sweat."
Seunghyun looked sideways into Bom's eyes. "That's it," he finished huskily, pushing away awkwardly.
She followed, twisting and gathering him to her. The shock of her hand burrowing in the hair at his nape had him trembling, closing his eyes in stunned pleasure. "No wonder," she murmured into his neck. "No wonder."
There was a long pause as Bom's honeysuckle scent filled him, as her fingers gently rooted through his hair. Soothing. So soothing.
"Tabi?" she murmured at length.
"Mm?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I'm not sorry at all."
Seunghyun smiled, felt it stretch his lips and tug at his lips. And lift the shroud of darkness that had been choking him slowly. Silly girl. "There you go making no sense at all, you little babo."
For mere response she tugged a little harder at his hair. "I meant I'm sorry I asked, but at the same time I'm not. Thank you for telling me."
He hadn't banked on feeling like this - lighter, so indescribably lighter - once he told her but... it felt good. Better. Not great but... better. "Thank you," he murmured huskily in her hair.
He felt her small smile against the crook of his neck. "Who knew my year of Psychology would ever pay off?" she teased.
Seunghyun cleared his throat, remembering where they were. "Anyway. You... you weren't done," he said, lifting his arm where her small puncture wounds had all but disappeared completely.
She shifted, and he felt her surprise in the little jolt of her body. "It's already healed? That was quick." Then, glancing up, she supported his arm lightly, bringing it up to her mouth where she scored him too slowly once more.
"Don't... drag it," he instructed with a wince before he could stop himself. "When you pierce."
She nodded, and silence settled once more between them as she drank from him.
She'd looked a bit pale today, defiantly forcing herself to function throughout the day to prove to him that she could. Now she regained colour before his very eyes, drawing necessary sustenance from him as he braced himself for the maelstrom.
#
"Where were you?" Ji demanded, preoccupied, when he passed through the door of their apartment. Poor guy was about a hairsbreadth away from blowing a fuse and pulling out his hair. Which he'd obviously tried. The latter, that is. "Christ, we have a music video to shoot all day tomorrow. You'd think everyone would be tucked in early but noooo... You and Youngbae go missing God knows where and I'm stuck with jaggeun here on an ice cream high - who goes on ice cream binges in the winter?"
Seungri yelled in a matter-of-fact tone from the living room, glued to the TV set, "It's almost spring!"
Ji gave a long-suffering sigh. "Point being?"
"So I'm getting my tummy ready!" he shouted giddily, then burst out laughing at something obvioulsy only he found funny. "Ooooh, tummy ready, tummy ready. Get it? Get it?"
Seunghyun blinked sidelong at his long-time friend. "What's in the ice cream?"
"Green tea." Ji rolled his eyes. "Isn't that supposed to make you sleepy anyway?"
"Shouldn't take long."
"An hour?" Ji replied doubtfully.
Ah. "You have a point."
"I bet he put extra sugar in there."
"The fall will be greater."
"I've considered knocking his ass unconscious."
"Don't let me stop you."
They grinned at each other. Until Seungri started chanting along with a terrible Superstar K auditionee.
Ji positively exploded. "Yah! That's why I reduced your parts!"
Unperturbed, Seunghyun sidestepped his livid leader. "I'm going to bed. Night."
"Curse you and your ability to sleep in a war zone. And the fact that you don't sleep with him."
"Jealousy doesn't become you, Ji."
"Go to hell."
Seunghyun winked his good-natured goodbye.
Author's note: So... I have news, everyone. Big-time news. I'm... going to be teaching in Korea! OMG OMG OMG for real! I just got my notice of appointment and contract about a week ago, I'm stoked, and yesterday I went to the consulate to get my visa, and seriously? OMFG!
So! What does this mean in terms of this fic (and Love to Hate You)? It means that I'm asking you guys to please be patient. My contract starts on February 26th (and that's not counting the orientation beforehand), so between then and now I'm going to be running all over the place trying to get things ready. My room's a mess so that needs cleaning, I need to call for flight plans once I get my visa, I need to pack, I need to double-check that my head's screwed on tight, I need to make some course plans, I need to check that I have everything I need, and once I'm there? I'll need to get settled properly before I can even think about writing. And I'll need to pinch myself, definitely (omg).
But, between then and now I'll try to type up all the chapters I've got written up on paper. Good? Good.
She’d hate him. She surely would. Call him a monster, all kinds of names, and she’d try to run. As far as possible. Futilely. It downright killed him that he'd have to contain her.
CHAPTER SIX
"I need to apologise." Bom's voice snatched him from his thoughts as he headed out of the recording studio where he'd left his things before the meeting.
Taken by surprise, he whirled on her. She was leaning on the wall next to the door, arms crossed and staring at the floor, as though she'd been there a while. Moreover, like she worried about what she wanted to say. What he would say.
"What for?" he asked.
"For what I said... you know... earlier. It wasn't my place. And..." She bit her lip, visibly stalling. "And I also need to drink."
The arm which had previously been about to sling his backpack on his shoulder dropped. "Oh... right." He backed up into the studio again, inviting her in with his free arm.
The next few instants were quiet - so much quiet, always - as he made himself ready. He removed his coat, dropped it on the back of the controller chair, and put his bag on the swivelling chair. Then he joined her on the couch, beginning to roll his sleeve up mechanically. "Wrist or arm?" he asked distractedly.
She shifted uneasily next to him, and he could feel the tension in her body, in the way she held herself slightly away from him. "Er, does it matter?" she asked in a small voice.
Seunghyun thought about it a second, then shrugged. "No, not really." Though personally he preferred the wrist. It meant he didn't have to experience unnecessary physical contact. Looking up, he nodded. "It's up to you," he said, suspending his rolling as he awaited her decision.
A sickening thought insinuated itself into his mind right then: please don't ask for the throat, please don't ask for the throat, please don't ask for the throat. Please God no.
Bom bit her cheek, staring at his half-covered arm, appearing to debate with herself a moment. "I'll... try the arm this time," she finally decided.
Silently, efficiently, Seunghyun heeded her request, rolling his sleeve up to his elbow, and then he scooted closer to her on the couch, catching her wide-eyed gaze and her slightly parted lips. They revealed her small, pointed fangs growing, testament to her hunger. Smothering his apprehension, he lifted his arm in encouragement. "Go ahead."
Swallowing slowly, she reached out timidly, her warm hand barely touching his arm before she retreated it with a troubled flush in her cheeks. "I can't."
Seunghyun sighed. "You have to, Bom."
"I know." She bit her lip again, wounding it with a surprised cry before she covered her mouth with a little nervous laugh. "I know. It's just..."
"Weird," he finished for her, understanding. He'd been there, too. "I know. But I told you before: it doesn't hurt." Thinking she might respond better with a description, he added, "I'll feel a small pinch and a little pull in my veins when you start drinking but nothing more. You won't hurt me. I promise."
Her eyes seemed to be saying Are you sure? one last time before she reached out again, holding his gaze. "You'd better not be lying, Tabi," she warned as she raised his arm to her mouth, now staring at it like a difficult Math problem. Funny girl.
"I'm -" He sucked in a breath as she struck suddenly, a bit too slowly for his liking as her fangs pierced deeper at an excruciating pace. He literally felt his skin tear under the pressure of her fangs. Then he relaxed, relieved, when she began drinking in small sips. "Not," he finished belatedly, leaning sideways into the couch's back.
A whirlwind of sensations invariably accompanied feeding, although he'd only once been on the giving end and had never wanted to repeat the nightmare. Christ, he'd wanted to throw up. But now... Gentle pulls, the gliding rasp of a tongue, his own heart thudding through his veins, the press of soft lips, manicured nails digging into his arm... a maelstrom of touches and the rush of his blood on Bom's tongue... He felt it all. All the way to his core. A heady rush, hovering just within the frame of his sanity, quickening, weaving in his blood.
His head pitched back into the cushioned headrest, a roar building in him as he inhaled with a hiss, snapping his eyes shut to shut it out. It didn't help. It only magnified... everything.
She must have felt him tense, because her mouth left his arm, and he felt the cold air hit his moist skin with a shudder. "Do you want me to stop?"
Yes... No... Christ. Seunghyung forced his eyes open. "I'm fine," he croaked.
She pursed her lips, her eyes hardening in accusation. "You're not," she snapped. "You told me it doesn't hurt."
Shifting, Seunghyun cleared his throat. "It doesn't." Believe me.
"But you..." Her eyes lost their spark of confrontation, and she pulled away, defeated, drawing herself to her feet. There, she paused, her tiny fists balled at her sides, until she whirled to face him. "I'm not her - them - whatever -" she began, waving her hands in annoyed dismissal, "and I'm sorry we're stuck with each other until I'm... I don't know... until I'm able to go and hunt for my own man, I guess you could say. I can't fucking wait. I can't wait to be rid of you and your goddamn harem. I'm not them. I get it. You don't need to -" Obviously distressed, she bit back whatever she'd been about to say and turned to leave without another word.
His hand clamped on her arm, jerking her back as he stood, towering over her. She glared up at him, so tiny before him. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Bom. I'd shut the hell up if I were you."
He felt the gooseflesh raise under his palm, saw the fear creeping in the edges of her eyes. But she maintained her mask of bravado. "Or what," she shot back defiantly.
That was it. He'd had it. With a harried grunt he pushed her back, pressing her hard against the closed door, locking it slowly, ever so slowly, shhh-lck, just to feel the shudder lick through her. Then he leaned in, encasing her loosely as he held her frightened gaze. "You want to know?" he finally growled, done with being provoked. "You want to know the number of women I drink from, huh? How much? How I just can't fucking wait to be done with you here so I can zip to the closest available one and cleanse myself of you? Is this what you want?"
For a change, Bom was speechless, trembling within the cage of his arms.
Seunghyun held her gaze a moment longer, then sighed, dropping his head. "Dammit, Bom," he hissed. "We both nearly died because of me. Doesn't that tell you something?"
"I don't..." Bom started in a small voice, then petered off.
Seunghyun lifted his head, grabbing onto her gaze like a drowning man. "I hate feeding, Bom. I hadn't fed in months."
Bom stopped breathing; Seunghyun looked away, hating the pity he found in her eyes. But he couldn't stop talking anymore. Let her... let her make of him what she would. "I don't have a harem," he chuckled hollowly. "One... I usually feed from one person. Please don't ask me who."
She grazed his arm lightly, raising shivers. "Why," she whispered, searching his eyes with an expression Seunghyun couldn't describe.
Tell her.
He couldn't.
"You love her," she murmured suddenly, almost a question but not quite, and she shrank back a little, her fingers retreating.
Leaving him... oddly bereft. "No."
Her eyes searched his, searched for the truth. "Then why?" she asked at length, seemingly satisfied with his negation. "What happened to you?"
Seunghyun hadn't realised he'd been so tense until Bom's fingers returned to his arms, both, and he willingly released the cage around her, staring at her fingers linger before dropping, too. He glanced up. "It's amazing, you know. How you didn't end up fucked up like me."
"I'm a former Psychology major." She smiled brilliantly, cocking her head. "Rock-steady up here." Sobering, she lifted her hand, held it aloft a second, then dropped it again. "Tell me, Tabi."
Tell her. And then he did. God save them both, he did. "It was raining hard that day," he began, moving to lean against the door next to her. "One of those freak autumn days, too-hot, too-humid. I'd been rehearsing the La La La dance in the garage, worrying about our debut, and suddenly there she was, leaning against the stairway door like she'd been watching me all along. She just told me, Oh, don't mind me. But I couldn't." He chuckled darkly in remembrance. "I mean, come on, I'm terrible and she's... Anyway, yeah. So I made to get away. Is your name Choi Seunghyun? she asked. So I said yes. That's all you have to show after all the hard training? She scoffed. You're going to be eaten alive in this industry, you know. Despite your... honourable efforts."
"What?" Bom hissed indignantly under her breath.
Seunghyun shrugged. "It was the truth... Anyway, one thing led to another and then suddenly I'm having seizures and looking up at the garage ceiling fan going round and round sounding like a fucking jackhammer. I'm dying. I was so sure of it. I couldn't breathe. There she is, all business-like. Remote. My gut feels rancid, my veins feel like fire. I know I'm dying. Then I'm drinking. Then vomiting... I'll spare you the details... Then I'm hallucinating really badly. I'm talking really out-there stuff. Shivering. Dying some more. God, the pain. From the corner of my eye I can see her. She's talking to me from above. I can't hear what she's saying but she's weaving in and out, in and out. Strangely I'm aware that I'm delirious. Then unconscious. When I come to it's dark out and I'm shivering from the drop in temperature, from my own sweat."
Seunghyun looked sideways into Bom's eyes. "That's it," he finished huskily, pushing away awkwardly.
She followed, twisting and gathering him to her. The shock of her hand burrowing in the hair at his nape had him trembling, closing his eyes in stunned pleasure. "No wonder," she murmured into his neck. "No wonder."
There was a long pause as Bom's honeysuckle scent filled him, as her fingers gently rooted through his hair. Soothing. So soothing.
"Tabi?" she murmured at length.
"Mm?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I'm not sorry at all."
Seunghyun smiled, felt it stretch his lips and tug at his lips. And lift the shroud of darkness that had been choking him slowly. Silly girl. "There you go making no sense at all, you little babo."
For mere response she tugged a little harder at his hair. "I meant I'm sorry I asked, but at the same time I'm not. Thank you for telling me."
He hadn't banked on feeling like this - lighter, so indescribably lighter - once he told her but... it felt good. Better. Not great but... better. "Thank you," he murmured huskily in her hair.
He felt her small smile against the crook of his neck. "Who knew my year of Psychology would ever pay off?" she teased.
Seunghyun cleared his throat, remembering where they were. "Anyway. You... you weren't done," he said, lifting his arm where her small puncture wounds had all but disappeared completely.
She shifted, and he felt her surprise in the little jolt of her body. "It's already healed? That was quick." Then, glancing up, she supported his arm lightly, bringing it up to her mouth where she scored him too slowly once more.
"Don't... drag it," he instructed with a wince before he could stop himself. "When you pierce."
She nodded, and silence settled once more between them as she drank from him.
She'd looked a bit pale today, defiantly forcing herself to function throughout the day to prove to him that she could. Now she regained colour before his very eyes, drawing necessary sustenance from him as he braced himself for the maelstrom.
#
"Where were you?" Ji demanded, preoccupied, when he passed through the door of their apartment. Poor guy was about a hairsbreadth away from blowing a fuse and pulling out his hair. Which he'd obviously tried. The latter, that is. "Christ, we have a music video to shoot all day tomorrow. You'd think everyone would be tucked in early but noooo... You and Youngbae go missing God knows where and I'm stuck with jaggeun here on an ice cream high - who goes on ice cream binges in the winter?"
Seungri yelled in a matter-of-fact tone from the living room, glued to the TV set, "It's almost spring!"
Ji gave a long-suffering sigh. "Point being?"
"So I'm getting my tummy ready!" he shouted giddily, then burst out laughing at something obvioulsy only he found funny. "Ooooh, tummy ready, tummy ready. Get it? Get it?"
Seunghyun blinked sidelong at his long-time friend. "What's in the ice cream?"
"Green tea." Ji rolled his eyes. "Isn't that supposed to make you sleepy anyway?"
"Shouldn't take long."
"An hour?" Ji replied doubtfully.
Ah. "You have a point."
"I bet he put extra sugar in there."
"The fall will be greater."
"I've considered knocking his ass unconscious."
"Don't let me stop you."
They grinned at each other. Until Seungri started chanting along with a terrible Superstar K auditionee.
Ji positively exploded. "Yah! That's why I reduced your parts!"
Unperturbed, Seunghyun sidestepped his livid leader. "I'm going to bed. Night."
"Curse you and your ability to sleep in a war zone. And the fact that you don't sleep with him."
"Jealousy doesn't become you, Ji."
"Go to hell."
Seunghyun winked his good-natured goodbye.
Author's note: So... I have news, everyone. Big-time news. I'm... going to be teaching in Korea! OMG OMG OMG for real! I just got my notice of appointment and contract about a week ago, I'm stoked, and yesterday I went to the consulate to get my visa, and seriously? OMFG!
So! What does this mean in terms of this fic (and Love to Hate You)? It means that I'm asking you guys to please be patient. My contract starts on February 26th (and that's not counting the orientation beforehand), so between then and now I'm going to be running all over the place trying to get things ready. My room's a mess so that needs cleaning, I need to call for flight plans once I get my visa, I need to pack, I need to double-check that my head's screwed on tight, I need to make some course plans, I need to check that I have everything I need, and once I'm there? I'll need to get settled properly before I can even think about writing. And I'll need to pinch myself, definitely (omg).
But, between then and now I'll try to type up all the chapters I've got written up on paper. Good? Good.