RECAP: 2x22 southern gentlemen prefer blondes
Here we go, upload was late again but it was WORTH it :) And sorry that my recap is late; I had to head to school mid-ep to hand in an assignment and mail something and stepped back into the coolness of my home (it's really hot out!) at 4:30. Forgive me? Like you will forgive the writers? Because this ep is gold and we're heading out of the world of fuckery and into something rather fantastically epic. I'm thinking Georgie should be a regular, she gets some pretty kickass storylines and this one should not disappoint.
Firstly, Blair and Nate at the subway station. Hee-larious but most of you faithful GG watchers already saw the spoilers so moving on. But our bitchy B is back, I can smell it :)
Humphrey's at some... vintage store I guess? And Rufus eyeing a ring. I'm not sure but I think it's engraved with an Egyptian eye. Ironic.
Then Blair and Serena. "It's not a relationship if there's no hand-holding." (!!!) B, you will EAT YOUR WORDS later. But I only know this because I'm a spoiled brat. Moving on, I just thought that was priceless. Scheming B is back! "Come ooooon, let's follow him tonight." AND THEN SERENA'S EYE-POP. BWAH. "Doesn't it sound at all fun?" She's so put out by S's rebuke. Aw aw aww, ILU B.
C and N at the bball court. "Wow, you suck more than usual today." Wait, this means C always pwns N's ass at bball? AWESOME. I love Chuck's little smile when Nate says Blair's name. Vaguely reminiscent of B smiling when S said his name over and over in... the beginning of the season, can't remember the ep. Aw. Everything Chuck says is pretty much awesome as usual. I swear, the writers love him. We will see why later (I was spoiled by a fellow Canuck so I know allll about C/B's scenes :) "Too bad you don't have a place in the middle like the Palace... say the word and she can crash with me." LOL and N's little glare. It will get worse, believe you me *glares*
Serena's beau bails again. B is spying. Spy beret and all. Cue Chuck showing up, shaking her up a tad. "Not enough drama in your domestic bliss?" :) Chuck is adorkable as ever just so quietly elated that she hasn't changed a bit from her scheming ways. Ah, me.
Break.
Serena totally points out that B should focus on HER own relationship and B's all "what's that supposed to mean?" I think the writers are playing yo-yo with S's character. One second she supports C/B and then the next she's all gah ew.
Nate you mofo, LOOK excited to go have lunch with your GIRLFRIEND if you claim you're so lucky to be with her. GOD. And B, stop deluding yourself please. Thank you.
Gabriel goes to S to admit he was with Poppy last night. How did he know she knew? I know it's part of the ~plot~ to scam her but geez are you a mind-reader? And bwaha, "I told her that I needed space to think." BWAHA IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE DOING GLUED TO HER LIPS WITH A BIG FAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE? S, you are so... *facepalm* See, see, that's why she reminds me of my sister, and why I modelled pre-series S on my sis. Love her, but she can be a bit dim sometimes. Moving on... Oooh, hand kiss. That's nice, actually. Very Southernly. Not that I know firsthand ;) (ooh, pun, teeh)
D and V. D's still a cater-waiter. Cool. So Eleanor didn't flame his ass all the way to his boss - you've got Cyrus to thank for changing her, big boy. Jenny shows up and she flaunts the Chuck she just discovered to the world. "He was practically skipping yesterday, you should have seen it." And she says it with a smile. Now, I dunno. Should we like that smile or is it just a little "my gosh I never would have thought" smile... This bears much thought...
Aha, B's onto something. "Oh, that's nice. He fell in love with you the night you blacked out." With G Sparks. Oh fuck, S, denial *headdesk* I really don't like what she's wearing btw. High waists look good on empire dresses, not much else. You look like those grannies wearing their pants up to their breasts. Eck. Oh sweet Jesus. B's "I know I won't have anything to worry about because I know he'll [Nate] always be true to me." All together now, clap at Serena's answer: "But we both know that that hasn't always been the case." Thank you, Captain Obvious, for crashing B's fantasy. It needed to be done. And I know someone else will crash it later :) I like this B though. She's stopped being so whiny, thank god.
Heh. Rufus/V interaction. He's been all bummed for two scenes. Ohh, no one wants to buy his gallery. Shucks. There's a plan B: he'll sell a Lincoln Hawk catalog. Er, you mean all the music he's recorded? IDGI.
Okay, make place for douche!Nate. Gloating about buying a place halfway between Columbia and NYU and stuffing it in Chuck's face. And listen. No, listen to the way he says "friend". And then "I just wanted to show you that Blair and I are serious now." Watch Chuck's face. Like, seriously, I just want to slap Nate senseless because he fucking deserves it. I love Chuck's line later "a tacky place where you can keep an eye on her". I can totally see Nate do that, actually. Dog leash and all. Fuck. Him. And in. your. face. bastard she calls Chuck right in front of you. Serves you right.
I love Chuck's little smile. He loves his little hellcat, he really does. Anyway. Blair's asking him to join her on a "last" mission. What did you think, that he'd refuse? He never has (never will ;)
Break!
LOOOOL how freaking obvious can you get B? I loff you for attempting to drag Gabriel away from S. BWAH! "And this is Serena's dresser where she keeps all her pajamas and peignoirs or maybe you've been in there." LOOOL. REUNION TIME. Chuck brings Poppy, cue Gabriel's "oh shit" face and Serena's hurt on. B and C are smug little things. (Aside: I'm getting a weird vibe from this reunion, Poppy/Gabriel's reactions seem rehearsed. Now, this may be bad acting but remember at the end of last ep when Poppy was asking him to tell her everything? Yeah. I think they're scamming together at this point but we'll see.) I adore B's little "oops" at Chuck at the end. He's so smitten. And she can't see what's right in front of her. Acceptance. Ah, B.
D and V scene #2. The "I never" game. She tells him about sleeping with Chuck. Twice. What happened to you judging everyone in the vicinity, D? You're such a hypocrite. I'm actually very jealous of his beer bottle opening ways though *glare* Why can't I do the twist thing? Grr. Moving on.
J and dad. She "knows" why he's not been feeling too good. Let me guess. She thinks he's chickening out about the ring aka asking Lily to marry him. *beat* HA I'M RIGHT.
Chuck spying on Gab at Lily's party. Gab's having a real jolly time talking to whoever's on the phone and then when S shows he hangs up. GUESS WHO'S ON THE PHONE. I'm hanging on to my double-scammers theory very tightly. Dum dee dum blah blah. S actually proposes helping finance his "wireless business in Africa" thing so "teenage African girls can send in stuff to Gossip Girl". Um, S, like they care about a bunch of bratty rich teens half a world away? They're not exactly living the high life I'll have you know. Jesus, airhead. Hee, I just noticed Chuck/Ed's really small compared to Gab/Armie Hammer. Teeh.
Here comes douche!Nate again in all his glory. He totally bailed on watching a Mets game to "pee on her" (quote courtesy of Chuck mwah). Chuck shows up, and WATCH N's eyes stray to C to GLOAT about the keys to their new apartment. C/B/N love triangle moment re: apartment visit vs. getting to the bottom of the Gab mystery. Guess which she chooses? Castle with a white knight or dark prince with a carriage?
Break!
S/Gab proposal to Lily and Bass board member. She's in? Like that? Without studying the proposal? B drags S back into her room where she and Chuck confront S about Gab's lie about meeting S at Butter the first time. There's a nice quote about S supporting B's choices, "case and point" (pointing at smirking Chuck) but then I'm kind of wtf about "you're using this excuse to get together again." What? Just because they're scheming again means they're getting together? Hi, plotting to out you re: Ostroff Centre? They weren't even (consciously, at least, they might have had a subconscious attraction) thinking about each other that way then. Anyway, then... Chuck brings up Georgie who's the only one who knows what happened that night ("Butter"). B looks nervous-ish.
D and V again (I thought she only had one scene?). Okay, is it just me or does the music hint at... sex? I'm all for those two actually... Nothing happens. Boo. It was kind of a pointless filler moment re: Rufus's "pride" tbh.
Wait, when did Rufus ask Gab for help to invest? Did I miss something? Oh, well he's asking now... dum dum duuuuum scam is in the air, everywhere you look around!
B bails on N's tour of the apartment *pumps fist* and Chuck is a perfect gentleman bringing her coat :) Aww. But *snort* Archibald you don't trust her and you don't fool me. Go away. Oh HEEEE she kisses him on the lips cheek and he turns his head too late. *pumps fist again!* Chuck sees this and knows. But trust me he'll be a perfect gentleman later and my heart beats for him, yes it does :) Puppy sad face Nate left behind. Oh well. LOOOL Blair didn't know she'd have to spend the night with Chuck (not like that :P)
Break!
C/B hands clasped moment! Didn't I say she'd EAT HER WORDS? If you need a refresher: "It's not a relationship if there's no hand-holding." (to S in her first scene) LALALAAA your sleeping self knows! Okay, I won't quote this whole scene but it is gold, trust me. Right up until the very end when he doesn't kiss her like I thought he would and leaves her alone before he does something stupid perhaps? to whack her head against the seat.
LOL Chuck seeing Georgina. AND THE HUG!!! It is priceless. So's his face. Fucking priceless.
OMFG S slept with Gab! Heeeey, they're getting us used to chest hair... for next year's C/B perhaps? Wow, head, reel in, reel in *cough* Anyway, it's a blah scene where he says something about "if you'd met you that night you'd want to forget too" or something, and she gets all "crap" and stuff. Moving on.
Back to the original G! Trying to convince C that she's changed and he doesn't buy it. I kind of... do? IDK. But lol "I went to church, told Jesus about all my sins" / "Oh I guess that was a long talk" muahaha *squishes C* Revelation about Gab: he never saw S that night. Dun dun dun...
Back to new G. Now what did I say? Poppy barging in and jumping Gab. Meh, love being right.
B ran away with C's limo. Yes, B, 'cause you can't stand when your fantasy's crushed by reality. Re: GG's blah blah: I actually don't think he had sex on his mind.
Break!
To the scammers. Uh oh, S is coming back up. Where shall Poppy hie herself off to? Lemme guess, S will walk in mid-scrunching herself... under the bed? Oh, no, it's the closet and she has time. Darn. Oh HA it's Rufus at the door! Me wrong, me very wrong lol. Noooo don't give him your money!
B at N's new apt. She's v. down. And tells him off about the apartment. Damn right. It even has a "crappy low class" lock. She calls him on his supposed "trust". He tells her the three words. Will she stay?
C with G is hilarious. C gets a call from S. "Oooh, tell her I said hi. I have so much love in my heart for her." I mean WHAT lol. You ruined the girl's life for a while there hon haha. Anyway, Poppy pops (ha pun) out of nowhere while S is talking and is all :( about "giving Gab half a mill".
Ha, that's a nice shot of Dan's torso (covered, you wankers ;). Rufus walks in. So does J. They bought the ring he was looking at! Cute! But what do you say he WON'T propose, huh? Huh. "Yale will be happening." Umm, nope, because you will be destitute in 3... 2... 1...
Interesting... G reacts... strangely when she hears B's name. Oh you little lamb of God, you still have it in for Blair... Hee at GG's final words. Elvis reference FTW!
That's all folks! That hilarious NBDSG freak-out spoiler we all saw is actually in next week's ep boo. But now you Yanks go and enjoy the ep in an hour. Report back with you own insanity ;)
In other news, there is a gigantic fly in my room. Summer, I do indeed know you're here.
Firstly, Blair and Nate at the subway station. Hee-larious but most of you faithful GG watchers already saw the spoilers so moving on. But our bitchy B is back, I can smell it :)
Humphrey's at some... vintage store I guess? And Rufus eyeing a ring. I'm not sure but I think it's engraved with an Egyptian eye. Ironic.
Then Blair and Serena. "It's not a relationship if there's no hand-holding." (!!!) B, you will EAT YOUR WORDS later. But I only know this because I'm a spoiled brat. Moving on, I just thought that was priceless. Scheming B is back! "Come ooooon, let's follow him tonight." AND THEN SERENA'S EYE-POP. BWAH. "Doesn't it sound at all fun?" She's so put out by S's rebuke. Aw aw aww, ILU B.
C and N at the bball court. "Wow, you suck more than usual today." Wait, this means C always pwns N's ass at bball? AWESOME. I love Chuck's little smile when Nate says Blair's name. Vaguely reminiscent of B smiling when S said his name over and over in... the beginning of the season, can't remember the ep. Aw. Everything Chuck says is pretty much awesome as usual. I swear, the writers love him. We will see why later (I was spoiled by a fellow Canuck so I know allll about C/B's scenes :) "Too bad you don't have a place in the middle like the Palace... say the word and she can crash with me." LOL and N's little glare. It will get worse, believe you me *glares*
Serena's beau bails again. B is spying. Spy beret and all. Cue Chuck showing up, shaking her up a tad. "Not enough drama in your domestic bliss?" :) Chuck is adorkable as ever just so quietly elated that she hasn't changed a bit from her scheming ways. Ah, me.
Break.
Serena totally points out that B should focus on HER own relationship and B's all "what's that supposed to mean?" I think the writers are playing yo-yo with S's character. One second she supports C/B and then the next she's all gah ew.
Nate you mofo, LOOK excited to go have lunch with your GIRLFRIEND if you claim you're so lucky to be with her. GOD. And B, stop deluding yourself please. Thank you.
Gabriel goes to S to admit he was with Poppy last night. How did he know she knew? I know it's part of the ~plot~ to scam her but geez are you a mind-reader? And bwaha, "I told her that I needed space to think." BWAHA IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE DOING GLUED TO HER LIPS WITH A BIG FAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE? S, you are so... *facepalm* See, see, that's why she reminds me of my sister, and why I modelled pre-series S on my sis. Love her, but she can be a bit dim sometimes. Moving on... Oooh, hand kiss. That's nice, actually. Very Southernly. Not that I know firsthand ;) (ooh, pun, teeh)
D and V. D's still a cater-waiter. Cool. So Eleanor didn't flame his ass all the way to his boss - you've got Cyrus to thank for changing her, big boy. Jenny shows up and she flaunts the Chuck she just discovered to the world. "He was practically skipping yesterday, you should have seen it." And she says it with a smile. Now, I dunno. Should we like that smile or is it just a little "my gosh I never would have thought" smile... This bears much thought...
Aha, B's onto something. "Oh, that's nice. He fell in love with you the night you blacked out." With G Sparks. Oh fuck, S, denial *headdesk* I really don't like what she's wearing btw. High waists look good on empire dresses, not much else. You look like those grannies wearing their pants up to their breasts. Eck. Oh sweet Jesus. B's "I know I won't have anything to worry about because I know he'll [Nate] always be true to me." All together now, clap at Serena's answer: "But we both know that that hasn't always been the case." Thank you, Captain Obvious, for crashing B's fantasy. It needed to be done. And I know someone else will crash it later :) I like this B though. She's stopped being so whiny, thank god.
Heh. Rufus/V interaction. He's been all bummed for two scenes. Ohh, no one wants to buy his gallery. Shucks. There's a plan B: he'll sell a Lincoln Hawk catalog. Er, you mean all the music he's recorded? IDGI.
Okay, make place for douche!Nate. Gloating about buying a place halfway between Columbia and NYU and stuffing it in Chuck's face. And listen. No, listen to the way he says "friend". And then "I just wanted to show you that Blair and I are serious now." Watch Chuck's face. Like, seriously, I just want to slap Nate senseless because he fucking deserves it. I love Chuck's line later "a tacky place where you can keep an eye on her". I can totally see Nate do that, actually. Dog leash and all. Fuck. Him. And in. your. face. bastard she calls Chuck right in front of you. Serves you right.
I love Chuck's little smile. He loves his little hellcat, he really does. Anyway. Blair's asking him to join her on a "last" mission. What did you think, that he'd refuse? He never has (never will ;)
Break!
LOOOOL how freaking obvious can you get B? I loff you for attempting to drag Gabriel away from S. BWAH! "And this is Serena's dresser where she keeps all her pajamas and peignoirs or maybe you've been in there." LOOOL. REUNION TIME. Chuck brings Poppy, cue Gabriel's "oh shit" face and Serena's hurt on. B and C are smug little things. (Aside: I'm getting a weird vibe from this reunion, Poppy/Gabriel's reactions seem rehearsed. Now, this may be bad acting but remember at the end of last ep when Poppy was asking him to tell her everything? Yeah. I think they're scamming together at this point but we'll see.) I adore B's little "oops" at Chuck at the end. He's so smitten. And she can't see what's right in front of her. Acceptance. Ah, B.
D and V scene #2. The "I never" game. She tells him about sleeping with Chuck. Twice. What happened to you judging everyone in the vicinity, D? You're such a hypocrite. I'm actually very jealous of his beer bottle opening ways though *glare* Why can't I do the twist thing? Grr. Moving on.
J and dad. She "knows" why he's not been feeling too good. Let me guess. She thinks he's chickening out about the ring aka asking Lily to marry him. *beat* HA I'M RIGHT.
Chuck spying on Gab at Lily's party. Gab's having a real jolly time talking to whoever's on the phone and then when S shows he hangs up. GUESS WHO'S ON THE PHONE. I'm hanging on to my double-scammers theory very tightly. Dum dee dum blah blah. S actually proposes helping finance his "wireless business in Africa" thing so "teenage African girls can send in stuff to Gossip Girl". Um, S, like they care about a bunch of bratty rich teens half a world away? They're not exactly living the high life I'll have you know. Jesus, airhead. Hee, I just noticed Chuck/Ed's really small compared to Gab/Armie Hammer. Teeh.
Here comes douche!Nate again in all his glory. He totally bailed on watching a Mets game to "pee on her" (quote courtesy of Chuck mwah). Chuck shows up, and WATCH N's eyes stray to C to GLOAT about the keys to their new apartment. C/B/N love triangle moment re: apartment visit vs. getting to the bottom of the Gab mystery. Guess which she chooses? Castle with a white knight or dark prince with a carriage?
Break!
S/Gab proposal to Lily and Bass board member. She's in? Like that? Without studying the proposal? B drags S back into her room where she and Chuck confront S about Gab's lie about meeting S at Butter the first time. There's a nice quote about S supporting B's choices, "case and point" (pointing at smirking Chuck) but then I'm kind of wtf about "you're using this excuse to get together again." What? Just because they're scheming again means they're getting together? Hi, plotting to out you re: Ostroff Centre? They weren't even (consciously, at least, they might have had a subconscious attraction) thinking about each other that way then. Anyway, then... Chuck brings up Georgie who's the only one who knows what happened that night ("Butter"). B looks nervous-ish.
D and V again (I thought she only had one scene?). Okay, is it just me or does the music hint at... sex? I'm all for those two actually... Nothing happens. Boo. It was kind of a pointless filler moment re: Rufus's "pride" tbh.
Wait, when did Rufus ask Gab for help to invest? Did I miss something? Oh, well he's asking now... dum dum duuuuum scam is in the air, everywhere you look around!
B bails on N's tour of the apartment *pumps fist* and Chuck is a perfect gentleman bringing her coat :) Aww. But *snort* Archibald you don't trust her and you don't fool me. Go away. Oh HEEEE she kisses him on the lips cheek and he turns his head too late. *pumps fist again!* Chuck sees this and knows. But trust me he'll be a perfect gentleman later and my heart beats for him, yes it does :) Puppy sad face Nate left behind. Oh well. LOOOL Blair didn't know she'd have to spend the night with Chuck (not like that :P)
Break!
C/B hands clasped moment! Didn't I say she'd EAT HER WORDS? If you need a refresher: "It's not a relationship if there's no hand-holding." (to S in her first scene) LALALAAA your sleeping self knows! Okay, I won't quote this whole scene but it is gold, trust me. Right up until the very end when he doesn't kiss her like I thought he would and leaves her alone before he does something stupid perhaps? to whack her head against the seat.
LOL Chuck seeing Georgina. AND THE HUG!!! It is priceless. So's his face. Fucking priceless.
OMFG S slept with Gab! Heeeey, they're getting us used to chest hair... for next year's C/B perhaps? Wow, head, reel in, reel in *cough* Anyway, it's a blah scene where he says something about "if you'd met you that night you'd want to forget too" or something, and she gets all "crap" and stuff. Moving on.
Back to the original G! Trying to convince C that she's changed and he doesn't buy it. I kind of... do? IDK. But lol "I went to church, told Jesus about all my sins" / "Oh I guess that was a long talk" muahaha *squishes C* Revelation about Gab: he never saw S that night. Dun dun dun...
Back to new G. Now what did I say? Poppy barging in and jumping Gab. Meh, love being right.
B ran away with C's limo. Yes, B, 'cause you can't stand when your fantasy's crushed by reality. Re: GG's blah blah: I actually don't think he had sex on his mind.
Break!
To the scammers. Uh oh, S is coming back up. Where shall Poppy hie herself off to? Lemme guess, S will walk in mid-scrunching herself... under the bed? Oh, no, it's the closet and she has time. Darn. Oh HA it's Rufus at the door! Me wrong, me very wrong lol. Noooo don't give him your money!
B at N's new apt. She's v. down. And tells him off about the apartment. Damn right. It even has a "crappy low class" lock. She calls him on his supposed "trust". He tells her the three words. Will she stay?
C with G is hilarious. C gets a call from S. "Oooh, tell her I said hi. I have so much love in my heart for her." I mean WHAT lol. You ruined the girl's life for a while there hon haha. Anyway, Poppy pops (ha pun) out of nowhere while S is talking and is all :( about "giving Gab half a mill".
Ha, that's a nice shot of Dan's torso (covered, you wankers ;). Rufus walks in. So does J. They bought the ring he was looking at! Cute! But what do you say he WON'T propose, huh? Huh. "Yale will be happening." Umm, nope, because you will be destitute in 3... 2... 1...
Interesting... G reacts... strangely when she hears B's name. Oh you little lamb of God, you still have it in for Blair... Hee at GG's final words. Elvis reference FTW!
That's all folks! That hilarious NBDSG freak-out spoiler we all saw is actually in next week's ep boo. But now you Yanks go and enjoy the ep in an hour. Report back with you own insanity ;)
In other news, there is a gigantic fly in my room. Summer, I do indeed know you're here.