Sitting at Work...
I hate quiet nights at work where i have nothing better to do than sit, think, and read old posts....
i've recently been thinking theres NOBODY out there who can possibly like me for me... depressing? yes.... anyone who reads this will say "theres someone out there for everyone, just wait" unfortunately i've been going on dates and meeting people since i was 15/16.... i've found people a few times i've wanted to spend my life with. and due to drama, or fights, or bullheadedness, i've lost them.... i don't know how many more times i can do this stupid cycle. My requirements are not that difficult, unfortunately i think i find myself trying to compare each person to "my ultimate relationship" which is unrealistic and leaves me always finding faults....
hell forget all that. i typically send 3-5 thousand texts a month.. last month was like 500. NOBODY texts me, calls, facebook messages, etc. unless i contact them 1st. i've had 2 or 3 people I've been interested in, in the past year and everyone has flaked out. when i text them they say "i miss you, etc, etc" but they cant even take 30 seconds to text me and say hi??? how is that missing me.
I'm 26 now. not 18 anymore... i want someone who can be the last thing i see before i close my eyes, and the 1st thing i see when i open them. someone who wakes me up when they slip into bed, just to kiss me goodnight....someone who throws a pillow at me cuz i woke them up on their only day off while getting ready for work.... why is it that i HAD these things when i was 20/21 but not now. seems opposite of how it should be. I've done a lot of growing up....
I hate this time of year. i get depressed, i feel like shit. and it's not just relationship stuff.... the same stuff goes for my "friends"
i've recently been thinking theres NOBODY out there who can possibly like me for me... depressing? yes.... anyone who reads this will say "theres someone out there for everyone, just wait" unfortunately i've been going on dates and meeting people since i was 15/16.... i've found people a few times i've wanted to spend my life with. and due to drama, or fights, or bullheadedness, i've lost them.... i don't know how many more times i can do this stupid cycle. My requirements are not that difficult, unfortunately i think i find myself trying to compare each person to "my ultimate relationship" which is unrealistic and leaves me always finding faults....
hell forget all that. i typically send 3-5 thousand texts a month.. last month was like 500. NOBODY texts me, calls, facebook messages, etc. unless i contact them 1st. i've had 2 or 3 people I've been interested in, in the past year and everyone has flaked out. when i text them they say "i miss you, etc, etc" but they cant even take 30 seconds to text me and say hi??? how is that missing me.
I'm 26 now. not 18 anymore... i want someone who can be the last thing i see before i close my eyes, and the 1st thing i see when i open them. someone who wakes me up when they slip into bed, just to kiss me goodnight....someone who throws a pillow at me cuz i woke them up on their only day off while getting ready for work.... why is it that i HAD these things when i was 20/21 but not now. seems opposite of how it should be. I've done a lot of growing up....
I hate this time of year. i get depressed, i feel like shit. and it's not just relationship stuff.... the same stuff goes for my "friends"