J'm'enferme dans ma bulle
do you ever feel like you're fading out of existence? ..like you'll wake up one morning and no one will remember who you are, or care? and then you want to talk to someone so badly to remind them you're there and be part of someone else's world for a little while because yours is too weird and you need people around you to hold it together at the edges? i guess you'd just call that NEEDY. but that's what it feels like from the inside.
people say they don't expect you to be perfect, but then you do something wrong or not completely right and they react negatively anyway. and that's just the way we all are. but if people could just stop making promises they don't intend to keep maybe things would make more sense. just observing.
and when you do get something wrong, it's your fault. no one helps you fix it or suggests any kind of solution. it's just, you did something wrong. what's the matter with you? rejected. i don't know, i don't even know where this is coming from. i just watch people and observe and think too much about the way things work. i'm alright, i'm just.. confused. on many things. this is normal.
still. it's kind of alarming on a tiny level when i start asking advice, because i only ask questions that can't be answered. the really subjective ones i can't decide for myself. that's when you know i'm really confused.
today's been weird.
people say they don't expect you to be perfect, but then you do something wrong or not completely right and they react negatively anyway. and that's just the way we all are. but if people could just stop making promises they don't intend to keep maybe things would make more sense. just observing.
and when you do get something wrong, it's your fault. no one helps you fix it or suggests any kind of solution. it's just, you did something wrong. what's the matter with you? rejected. i don't know, i don't even know where this is coming from. i just watch people and observe and think too much about the way things work. i'm alright, i'm just.. confused. on many things. this is normal.
still. it's kind of alarming on a tiny level when i start asking advice, because i only ask questions that can't be answered. the really subjective ones i can't decide for myself. that's when you know i'm really confused.
today's been weird.