(no subject)
"Dinogravicauda, as the poor fellow's name suggests, has a terribly heavy tail. In fact, while the females (approximately 15% of Dinogravicauda were female) had no tail and thus were relatively more mobile than the males, the species never expanded beyond a two mile radius. Females lived only long enough to reproduce, and males were so heavy that they were never able to move beyond the spot on which they hatched. Its distinctive features serve a certain evolutionary purpose, namely food. The bright yellow skin gives off an enticing scent of roasting meat and shines brightly, giving the dinosaur an easy-to-spot, appetizing appearance. Dinogravicauda was an omnivore by birth, but was reduced to herbivore status by the anxious gnashing of teeth and limited availability of blind, mentally retarded prey. Their gigantic eyes evolved to better express the constant fear the Dinogravicauda felt. Periodic shrieking was also a characteristic of the Dinogravicauda, in part because it was so neurotic, and partly because it was an evolutionary mechanism designed to alert nearby predators to its presence. The tail of the males, as depicted, was shaped like an anvil and was terribly, terribly heavy. However, evolution soon realized that Dinogravicauda was in fact a terrible idea, and it went extinct rather quickly."
*whistles innocently*