Fic: SSP (Saiyuki 38)
Don't mind me, just dropping in for a bit of belated archiving. Not to be mistaken with skydiving, kite-flying, or bull riding, all of which I do only on the second Tuesday of every third month.
Series: Saiyuki
Title: SSP fic or Ring Around the Roses
Pairing: 38
Rating: PG-13.5
Comments: I am NEVER writing 38 on purpose again. *stares forelornly at the sad broken mass that used to be an in character Hakkai*
Summary: Sanzo asks for Hakkai's hand in marriage, accompanied by more roses than JFK got when he bit it and an oddly familiar golden ring that originally made its first appearence in a vending machine capsule.
Disclaimer: Bit of a moot point, isn't it?
Written for the Interlude Secret Santa Project 2004.
The door was flung open,and Sanzo and Goku swept into the warm room, both sporting slightly damp hair.
"Hakkai!" Goku cried happily, his face red from the cold, "it's snowing! Not heavy, just sort of falling. Ne, I wanna-"
The little youkai stopped half way into the room and looked around, his eyes wide. "Wow!" he said in awe. "It's so pretty!"
Hakkai smiled at the two.
"Okaeri nasai."
The annoyed frown on Sanzo's face deepened. "What's all this?"
Hakkai glanced at the five and a half foot pine tree he was decorating. "It's a tree."
Sanzo glared at him. "I can see that. What is a tree doing in my room?"
"Well, when it began to snow, I went to see the innkeeper and inquire about the local forecast. He says that the snow is supposed to get worse overnight, with the accumulation being as much as three feet by tomorrow evening. Since Hakuryuu can't drive through so much snow over the rocky mountain terrain we have ahead of us, I see no alternative to staying here until the storm relents. So, I thought since we'd be here for a while, we may as well enjoy ourselves. These are the holidays, you know."
Sanzo found no enjoyment in a berry-strung tree that would drop sap and pine needles all over the floor and most likely contained many species of insects.
Glancing at the blonde, Hakkai indicated the pieces of paper laid under the tree. "It won't be messy," he assured.
"Enjoy ourselves," Goku mused. "So I can eat a lot, Gojyo and Sanzo can get drunk, and you can read?"
Gojyo laughed from his seat in the corner, readjusting his feet on the table he'd been using as a prop. "That's every day, baka."
Hakkai, evidently not hearing Gojyo, nodded at Goku.
"That's basically it," he said with a little smile.
"But with a lot more sentimentality," Gojyo added, rolling his eyes. "Run, saru, before Hakkai illustrates his point by quoting Charles Dickens."
Damn, thought Sanzo as he towel dried his hair. Hakkai had made sure both he and Gojyo were well aware of this holiday, usually by means of iced gingerbread cookies, and he knew it included giving gifts to show appreciation, friendship, or any of the other myriad of emotions he professed not to have. Those idiots would doubtlessly be expecting something. Well, they should know better, he told himself, because I don't give a damn about any of them. Catching the sounds of gentle laughter, the monk sneaked a surreptitious glance at Hakkai from behind the safety of his raised newspaper. The brunette was smiling, but it was a rare smile, one that was fueled by actual happiness. And for once in his life, Sanzo actually felt the desire to do something nice. The thought frightened him, and, afraid that his heart might suddenly grow three sizes, he quickly whipped out his fan and hit the kappa and saru for no apparent reason. Sanzo was allergic to kindness. But he could also be rational, and Hakkai had done so much for them. If anyone deserved a gift, it was him. And besides, a happy Hakkai equaled a smoother car ride and a less sore bum. But what to get the youkai? Not a book, since they had no room for extra baggage. He supposed kitchen appliances or vacuums were out of the question as well, and lingerie definitely was. Hakkai deserved the best. So what was the best gift Sanzo could give, preferrably without having to brave the shopping malls?
The idea hit him like an ice pick to the frontal lobe. Himself. He could give himself to Hakkai. That would be the greatest gift anyone could get. Hakkai would be honoured; who wouldn't want Sanzo? It would of course be a one time thing, no strings attached. Sanzo couldn't help a slight smirk as he realized it wouldn't be too bad for him either. And, he traveled more easily than vacuums and books.
"Oi," Gojyo broke his thoughts with a well-placed elbow, "what're you smirking about, bouzo?"
Sanzo realized he had let his paper droop and snapped it open again. Across the room, Hakkai was adding wispy white feathers and miniature pink felt hats to their tree. There was a stray feather clinging to his hair.
"I was not smirking," he replied icily. "Now shut up and leave me alone or I'll strangle you with your own stringy hair."
It really was much simpler than he'd imagined, Sanzo pondered as he laid in bed that night. He'd simply be prepared when tomorrow evening's festivities ended (and doubtless Hakkai would plan some), drag Hakkai up to their room, toss him down on the bed, and have his way with him until they were either too tired to move or until the sun came up, which ever happened first. Sanzo listened to Hakkai's soft even breaths from across the room. As he drifted off his breath unconsciously matched the other man's and Sanzo began to think his plan actually sounded quite promising.
"Kouryuu..."
The familiar voice broke through the strange dream Sanzo was having about sparrows and coconuts.
"Master?" he questioned.
Koumyou appeared through the mist of Sanzo's mind.
"Kouryuu?"
Sanzo raised an eyebrow. Must they go through this routine every time?
"Master?"
"How do you take your coffee?"
"Black with ginger. But Master, we always have tea or sake when I meet you in my dreams."
Koumyou shrugged. "Well, adult conversations call for adult beverages, don't you think?"
The older Sanzo settled down on a log that materialized near him.
Coffee appeared on the table that popped up before them, and Sanzo served, deciding not to ask his master when sake suddenly became an item on the kid's menu.
"What was it you wanted to talk about Master?" Sanzo asked curiously.
"Kouryuu, I have become aware of your plans for Hakkai-san's gift."
Sanzo's eyebrow quirked. "Where did you hear that?"
"Kouryuu," the older man admonished gently, "I am merely a bit of an old eidetic image from your childhood. I am a part of your mind, and therefore I know your thoughts."
Sanzo was understandably creeped out.
"Your gift, while generous, would cause you to break one of the ten precepts. Do you realize this?"
Sanzo snickered. "With all due respect, I've broken more than allowed on a regular basis. And you skirted several of them as well, Master. "
"Yes, but I never went off for a quick shag with a man I cared about. It isn't very considerate."
"Che. I don't care for Hakkai that much. And I'm not considerate."
"Eh," the older Sanzo conceded, "you're right about the last part. But I do know your heart, Kouryuu. You do care deeply about Hakkai-san, even if you won't admit it."
"I don't want to go shopping, master."
"Well, there is a way you can still give your original gift without being so...coarse."
Sanzo materialized a stick of biscotti and dipped it into his coffee.
"I'm listening."
"Marry him."
Sanzo swallowed the entire stick at once. "What the hell did you just say?"
"Marry him," Koumyou replied with a calm smile.
"I'm a damn monk!"
The older man nodded. "But there is a sect of monks who are allowed special permission to get married. It's a loophole I suggest you take."
Then Sanzo woke up. After a very cold shower and a raw egg, he chalked his master's words up to an alcohol-induced hallucination. But stray memory or not, Sanzo could not completely ignore what Koumyou had said.
Just after he had fallen asleep again, Sanzo was rudely woken a second time by a weight on his chest.
"What do you want now, hag?" he said without emotion. By now he was used to waking up with an intersexual goddess straddling his chest.
Kanzeon Bosatsu grinned in reply. By now she too was used to being called a hag and any of its many variations.
"I hear somebody's gonna get laid!" the goddess said in a singsong voice. Sanzo glared at her and glanced over at Hakkai, who was still sleeping peacefully.
"'S okay, he can't hear us," she said.
"Since when?"
"It's a plot contrivance."
"Oh."
"Anyway, I just came to say that Koumyou's right. You ought to marry Hakkai. You two would be so cute together, and while it's great fun watching you angst over each other day after day in the land of Denial, it'd be even more fun to watch you get it on."
Sanzo growled. "Don't you dare. And how did you know what my master had to say?"
Kazeon laughed. "Now now, getting angry's bad for your blood pressure. Can we just say I'm omniscient?"
"No."
"Well, it'll do for this situation. But Kon - Sanzo, you can't just toss him on the bed. You've got to ease into it; Hakkai's the type of person who needs to be assured that you're serious."
Sanzo stared. "But I'm not serious. It's just one time."
"Yeah, right," the Goddess snorted. "Said the cigarette to the thirteen year old boy."
Kanzeon crossed her arms and gave Sanzo a mocking grin.
"Well, if being sweet would kill you, you'd better at least be civil, because I don't think pretty boy's going to like it much your way."
And then she disappeared, leaving Sanzo to his second cold shower of the night.
***
The snow was deeper by that morning, and the first thing Sanzo saw when he went down to the inn's common room was Hakkai chatting happily with the innkeeper's daughter. The monk was unsettled. Hakkai was flirting with (or was it talking to?) a girl, a pretty one no less. Was Gojyo on vacation?
"...and I saw the most beautiful roses when I was doing our shopping a few days ago. Some were snow white, others a burgundy red, and their stems and leaves were a magnificent shade of green. I do not understand how roses could grow in the winter, however."
"Ah, you mean our snow roses," the girl nodded knowingly. "There are indigenous to this town. We grow them in a hothouse, but they are still very hardy and accustomed to the cold. I could get some for you," she added coyly, with a flutter of thick eyelashes.
Hakkai smiled and shook his head.
"Oh no, that's okay. I was just thinking how pretty they would look as an addition to our tree. And yours," he added, glancing at the inn's pine which stood in the centre of the common room, twinkling with strands of multicoloured lights.
Feeling his restlessness growing into annoyance (or to a greater degree than usual), Sanzo went up to the counter and stood behind Hakkai as the young redhead started jabbering again. The look in his eyes was enough to stop the girl in mid-sentence, and she nervously excused herself. Hakkai turned around.
"Ah, good morning, Sanzo!" he said with a smile. "You're up awfully early." The smile bent down into a small frown. "I don't even have breakfast ready yet."
Sanzo considered a moment. And then, straining against every fiber of normalcy in his body, he focused on a spot above Hakkai's head and muttered "Let's get in there and make it then. I've not got all day." The world stopped spinning for a moment before turning around and running the other way. But despite that, the look on Hakkai's face was reward enough to justify using a faucet that drained counter counterclockwise.
Trying to pull a door open through at least eighteen inches of barely packed down snow was a time consuming feat, not to mention a cold one. But somehow Sanzo managed it, thankful for the boots and galosh the innkeeper had let him borrow, and plowed his way into the florist's shop. The sweet smell of countless plants and flowers assaulted him as he made his way to the counter. The clerk, a brunette roughly Sanzo's age gave him a polite smile and a discreet once-over.
"Hi, my name's Ken. May I help you?"
Sanzo slapped down the gold card.
"Three dozen snow roses. Now."
A claim receipt shoved in his robes, Sanzo passed down the long row of brightly decorated store display windows, each more gaudy than the last. He'd told the flabbergasted florist just to deliver the roses to the inn, and to do it discreetly or suffer the consequences; hopefully now his miserable romp through the elements could come to an end. Walking at a clip, Sanzo was planning how to distract Hakkai when a golden glimmer in a small old store front caught his eye amid the blinding tinsel and dyed holly. Curiosity got the best of him and he stopped to look. The twinkling object was nestled on top of a black velvet pouch, luminous under the display box's bright and slightly reddish light. Unbidden, the words of his master and Kazeon Bosatsu echoed in his head.
"Oh, what the hell," he said aloud to the vacant sidewalk before venturing into the warmth of the tiny store.
****
Dropping the last rose into a bud vase, Sanzo wiped his scratched hands on his robes (which had had a spin in the dryer) and stood back to admire his work. A self-satisfied smirk drifted into its natural place. Hakkai would be delighted; there could be no better gift. He'd be swept off his feet (or at least he'd better be), and then Sanzo could get down to the important part. Breaking away from slightly naughty thoughts, the monk glanced out the window. It was dark now; undoubtedly Hakkai would want to eat dinner and exchange presents soon. After absentmindedly tossing something onto the tree, Sanzo locked the bedroom door and disappeared downstairs to endure the cheer.
****
Hakkai sighed contentedly for the sixth time in the past half hour. Sanzo knew; those sighs had interrupted his reading once too often.
"Ne, Sanzo, wasn't tonight lovely?" Hakkai asked, knowing it would mostly likely be a rhetorical question.
It was.
"And Goku and Gojyo loved their gifts," he added, watching the saru and kappa chase each other around the room, fighting for Goku's bag of meatbuns.
It's Christmas, Sanzo acknowledged begrudgingly. And it was Hakkai. Might as well bite the bullet, as it were.
"They always love meatbuns and beer," he remarked to page A8.
Hakkai had been thrown a bone and he wasn't giving it back.
"How about you, Sanzo? Did you like yours?"
Sanzo looked at the royal purple sweater lying in a box next to him. For once he was glad for the standard monk robes, and even the scratchy washboard he had to wear with them. Hakkai's carefully knitted hand-wash-in-cold garment been a nice sentiment, though.
"Yeah. Thanks."
Hakkai seemed satisfied.
Deciding to waste no more time, Sanzo put his paper down resolutely on the coffee table and stood.
"Let's go upstairs."
Red antennae poked out from behind the doorfacing.
"Finally going to give Hakkai your gift, eh?" Gojyo grinned, sticking his head into the room. "I wondered why.."
Gojyo found his mouth shut and his hair trimmed in the space of two rapid shots.
"Maa, 'tis the season to be jolly," Hakkai reminded.
Goku's head suddenly appeared just under Gojyo's. "Ne, Sanzo, Hakkai, why does your room smell like.."
Two more shots and he and Gojyo fled to their room to write letters to Santa in the form of country songs.
Sanzo dragged a puzzled Hakkai and his cup of coffee upstairs and unceremoniously nudged him into their room before shutting and locking the door behind them again.
Hakkai merely stood and observed the room for a moment, speechless. Never in his life had he seen so many roses gathered in one place. He recognized them instantly as the snow roses he'd seen earlier. But they were everywhere; placed in bouquet vases and urns, stuck into the Christmas tree, on the fireplace mantel, shoved through the curtains, stapled to the walls, strewn on the bed...
On the bed?
Hakkai looked again. Sure enough, there were at least a dozen whole roses scattered across Sanzo's bed, stems and thorns snagging in the sheets.
Hakkai's curiosity was sufficient enough to shock his vocal chords into vibration.
"Anou...Sanzo? Why are there roses on the bed?"
Sanzo, who in Hakkai's silence had taken to glowering red-faced several feel away, glared back.
"That's all you can say?"
"Oh, no! It's absolutely beautiful, Sanzo," Hakkai assured him, "but...roses on the bed?"
"What?" the monk muttered, fingering the hem of his sleeve, "they go there too, don't they?"
"Well, yes, but usually the bulbs are removed from the stems and separated into petals, which are then sprinkled on the bed."
That made more sense. Sanzo had been thinking that sleeping on roses would be a bit uncomfortable, but nothing worse than having a saru foot shoved into his armpit.
"Do whatever you want to with them," he said testily as he headed toward the bag of supplies on the table to procure any strong potable beverages they had left. Hakkai caught him by the arm.
"Sanzo, did you do this for me?" he asked softly.
"I didn't do it because I enjoy horticulture."
Hakkai squeezed Sanzo's arm, unable to find the right words. Thanks didn't seem like quite enough.
Taking advantage of Hakkai's very rare silence, Sanzo reclaimed his arm and decided they'd use Hakkai's bed instead. No use in wasting valuable darkness. His recently liberated appendage was just beginning to sneak it's way around Hakkai's waist when the youkai, who had until that moment been gazing lovingly into purple eyes, caught sight of something shiny on the tree. He wondered over to the tree to check it out.
'What's this?" Hakkai questioned, pulling a gleaming golden ring from the tree branch it had been dropped haphazardly onto. A fine gold chain was attached, tangled a bit in the pine needles.
Sanzo blinked. So that's where he'd left it.
"Oh, that. It's a ring."
"Yes, it is," Hakkai agreed. "Is it yours?"
Sanzo rolled his eyes. "Do I look like the type of guy who stores his jewellry on a tree?"
Hakkai was quiet.
"It's for you, idiot," Sanzo said in frustration. Couldn't they just get on with it? He liked seeing Hakkai happy, but this slow progression was excruciating.
Looking nonplused, the brunette stared back.
"It's a wedding ring," he said in confusion.
Sanzo pinched the bridge of his nose. He now understood the basis for the "Not tonight honey, I have a headache" excuse.
"Obviously."
"Why?"
"You have to marry me before I can give you your Christmas gift."
Hakkai's confusion played roulette with his thought processes.
"And what is my gift?"
Sanzo was the picture of seriousness.
"Me."
The roulette ball came to rest in Thought Process' winning slot.
"Oh, I see," Hakkai nodded enthusiastically and smiled, "of course I'll marry you. Providing such a union is recognized as legal in this province."
"Who the hell cares," Sanzo growled, taking Hakkai by the shoulders and kissing him with a bit less force than he had imagined he'd use, which upon reflection was probably a good thing. Hakkai, still somewhat bewildered, responded in like manner before breaking away for air and to take a good look at the strangely attractive golden ring.
"Ne, Sanzo, what does this say?" he asked, noticing the flowing script etched in the inside of the band.
Sanzo thought back to his experience at the shoppe earlier; the writing hadn't been there before.
'Nice piece, that one,' the shopkeeper had said. 'One of only a limited number, and by far the most precious of them all.' The short little man had peered over the counter at him. 'I'll sell it at a great loss of profit to myself if you promise to take good care of it.' As Sanzo had left, he had stared after him and called "and mind you don't drop it in your fireplace or hold it over a Bunsen burner!' Sanzo had sanitized it with hot water when he'd gotten back; you could never be too careful with germs.
"It says Merry Christmas Hakkai," he responded easily.
Hakkai, when he'd recovered from both his shock and slight suspicion, touched Sanzo's arm.
"Thank you, Sanzo."
The monk nodded.
"Now, can we get to the actual gift here?" he said, managing to keep most of the impatience out of his voice as he steered Hakkai toward the bed.
Hakkai smiled.
"Of course."
In the next room, Gojyo pulled his pillow over his ears and held it tightly, adding the blankets as an afterthought. Good grief, even he wasn't this loud.
Goku snored and muttered in his sleep, one foot buried in Gojyo's armpit.
In Tenkai, Kanzeon Bosatsu grinned and leaned foward in her chair.
"Jiroushin, hurry up with my popcorn!"
In Sanzo's mind, the eidetic image of Koumyou Sanzo wished he had a pair of curtains to fit over Sanzo's eyes and perhaps some earplugs as well.
In the North Pole, Santa received an irritating letter from Son Goku and Sha Gojyo and fed it through the shredder after briefly contemplating tacking it to the notice board in his workshop for the elves to use as a dartboard during their breaks.
In sinks everywhere, water began to drain clockwise again.
And the world was all at peace and full of fluffy happiness. Until...
"Ne, Sanzo..."
"What?"
"Now that we're married, we can do this all the time, right? And when we return to Chang'an, I'll move into the temple with you and maybe even do a bit of redecorating..."
"Hakkai."
"Yes, Sanzo?"
"Next year you're getting a damn vacuum."
Series: Saiyuki
Title: SSP fic or Ring Around the Roses
Pairing: 38
Rating: PG-13.5
Comments: I am NEVER writing 38 on purpose again. *stares forelornly at the sad broken mass that used to be an in character Hakkai*
Summary: Sanzo asks for Hakkai's hand in marriage, accompanied by more roses than JFK got when he bit it and an oddly familiar golden ring that originally made its first appearence in a vending machine capsule.
Disclaimer: Bit of a moot point, isn't it?
Written for the Interlude Secret Santa Project 2004.
The door was flung open,and Sanzo and Goku swept into the warm room, both sporting slightly damp hair.
"Hakkai!" Goku cried happily, his face red from the cold, "it's snowing! Not heavy, just sort of falling. Ne, I wanna-"
The little youkai stopped half way into the room and looked around, his eyes wide. "Wow!" he said in awe. "It's so pretty!"
Hakkai smiled at the two.
"Okaeri nasai."
The annoyed frown on Sanzo's face deepened. "What's all this?"
Hakkai glanced at the five and a half foot pine tree he was decorating. "It's a tree."
Sanzo glared at him. "I can see that. What is a tree doing in my room?"
"Well, when it began to snow, I went to see the innkeeper and inquire about the local forecast. He says that the snow is supposed to get worse overnight, with the accumulation being as much as three feet by tomorrow evening. Since Hakuryuu can't drive through so much snow over the rocky mountain terrain we have ahead of us, I see no alternative to staying here until the storm relents. So, I thought since we'd be here for a while, we may as well enjoy ourselves. These are the holidays, you know."
Sanzo found no enjoyment in a berry-strung tree that would drop sap and pine needles all over the floor and most likely contained many species of insects.
Glancing at the blonde, Hakkai indicated the pieces of paper laid under the tree. "It won't be messy," he assured.
"Enjoy ourselves," Goku mused. "So I can eat a lot, Gojyo and Sanzo can get drunk, and you can read?"
Gojyo laughed from his seat in the corner, readjusting his feet on the table he'd been using as a prop. "That's every day, baka."
Hakkai, evidently not hearing Gojyo, nodded at Goku.
"That's basically it," he said with a little smile.
"But with a lot more sentimentality," Gojyo added, rolling his eyes. "Run, saru, before Hakkai illustrates his point by quoting Charles Dickens."
Damn, thought Sanzo as he towel dried his hair. Hakkai had made sure both he and Gojyo were well aware of this holiday, usually by means of iced gingerbread cookies, and he knew it included giving gifts to show appreciation, friendship, or any of the other myriad of emotions he professed not to have. Those idiots would doubtlessly be expecting something. Well, they should know better, he told himself, because I don't give a damn about any of them. Catching the sounds of gentle laughter, the monk sneaked a surreptitious glance at Hakkai from behind the safety of his raised newspaper. The brunette was smiling, but it was a rare smile, one that was fueled by actual happiness. And for once in his life, Sanzo actually felt the desire to do something nice. The thought frightened him, and, afraid that his heart might suddenly grow three sizes, he quickly whipped out his fan and hit the kappa and saru for no apparent reason. Sanzo was allergic to kindness. But he could also be rational, and Hakkai had done so much for them. If anyone deserved a gift, it was him. And besides, a happy Hakkai equaled a smoother car ride and a less sore bum. But what to get the youkai? Not a book, since they had no room for extra baggage. He supposed kitchen appliances or vacuums were out of the question as well, and lingerie definitely was. Hakkai deserved the best. So what was the best gift Sanzo could give, preferrably without having to brave the shopping malls?
The idea hit him like an ice pick to the frontal lobe. Himself. He could give himself to Hakkai. That would be the greatest gift anyone could get. Hakkai would be honoured; who wouldn't want Sanzo? It would of course be a one time thing, no strings attached. Sanzo couldn't help a slight smirk as he realized it wouldn't be too bad for him either. And, he traveled more easily than vacuums and books.
"Oi," Gojyo broke his thoughts with a well-placed elbow, "what're you smirking about, bouzo?"
Sanzo realized he had let his paper droop and snapped it open again. Across the room, Hakkai was adding wispy white feathers and miniature pink felt hats to their tree. There was a stray feather clinging to his hair.
"I was not smirking," he replied icily. "Now shut up and leave me alone or I'll strangle you with your own stringy hair."
It really was much simpler than he'd imagined, Sanzo pondered as he laid in bed that night. He'd simply be prepared when tomorrow evening's festivities ended (and doubtless Hakkai would plan some), drag Hakkai up to their room, toss him down on the bed, and have his way with him until they were either too tired to move or until the sun came up, which ever happened first. Sanzo listened to Hakkai's soft even breaths from across the room. As he drifted off his breath unconsciously matched the other man's and Sanzo began to think his plan actually sounded quite promising.
"Kouryuu..."
The familiar voice broke through the strange dream Sanzo was having about sparrows and coconuts.
"Master?" he questioned.
Koumyou appeared through the mist of Sanzo's mind.
"Kouryuu?"
Sanzo raised an eyebrow. Must they go through this routine every time?
"Master?"
"How do you take your coffee?"
"Black with ginger. But Master, we always have tea or sake when I meet you in my dreams."
Koumyou shrugged. "Well, adult conversations call for adult beverages, don't you think?"
The older Sanzo settled down on a log that materialized near him.
Coffee appeared on the table that popped up before them, and Sanzo served, deciding not to ask his master when sake suddenly became an item on the kid's menu.
"What was it you wanted to talk about Master?" Sanzo asked curiously.
"Kouryuu, I have become aware of your plans for Hakkai-san's gift."
Sanzo's eyebrow quirked. "Where did you hear that?"
"Kouryuu," the older man admonished gently, "I am merely a bit of an old eidetic image from your childhood. I am a part of your mind, and therefore I know your thoughts."
Sanzo was understandably creeped out.
"Your gift, while generous, would cause you to break one of the ten precepts. Do you realize this?"
Sanzo snickered. "With all due respect, I've broken more than allowed on a regular basis. And you skirted several of them as well, Master. "
"Yes, but I never went off for a quick shag with a man I cared about. It isn't very considerate."
"Che. I don't care for Hakkai that much. And I'm not considerate."
"Eh," the older Sanzo conceded, "you're right about the last part. But I do know your heart, Kouryuu. You do care deeply about Hakkai-san, even if you won't admit it."
"I don't want to go shopping, master."
"Well, there is a way you can still give your original gift without being so...coarse."
Sanzo materialized a stick of biscotti and dipped it into his coffee.
"I'm listening."
"Marry him."
Sanzo swallowed the entire stick at once. "What the hell did you just say?"
"Marry him," Koumyou replied with a calm smile.
"I'm a damn monk!"
The older man nodded. "But there is a sect of monks who are allowed special permission to get married. It's a loophole I suggest you take."
Then Sanzo woke up. After a very cold shower and a raw egg, he chalked his master's words up to an alcohol-induced hallucination. But stray memory or not, Sanzo could not completely ignore what Koumyou had said.
Just after he had fallen asleep again, Sanzo was rudely woken a second time by a weight on his chest.
"What do you want now, hag?" he said without emotion. By now he was used to waking up with an intersexual goddess straddling his chest.
Kanzeon Bosatsu grinned in reply. By now she too was used to being called a hag and any of its many variations.
"I hear somebody's gonna get laid!" the goddess said in a singsong voice. Sanzo glared at her and glanced over at Hakkai, who was still sleeping peacefully.
"'S okay, he can't hear us," she said.
"Since when?"
"It's a plot contrivance."
"Oh."
"Anyway, I just came to say that Koumyou's right. You ought to marry Hakkai. You two would be so cute together, and while it's great fun watching you angst over each other day after day in the land of Denial, it'd be even more fun to watch you get it on."
Sanzo growled. "Don't you dare. And how did you know what my master had to say?"
Kazeon laughed. "Now now, getting angry's bad for your blood pressure. Can we just say I'm omniscient?"
"No."
"Well, it'll do for this situation. But Kon - Sanzo, you can't just toss him on the bed. You've got to ease into it; Hakkai's the type of person who needs to be assured that you're serious."
Sanzo stared. "But I'm not serious. It's just one time."
"Yeah, right," the Goddess snorted. "Said the cigarette to the thirteen year old boy."
Kanzeon crossed her arms and gave Sanzo a mocking grin.
"Well, if being sweet would kill you, you'd better at least be civil, because I don't think pretty boy's going to like it much your way."
And then she disappeared, leaving Sanzo to his second cold shower of the night.
***
The snow was deeper by that morning, and the first thing Sanzo saw when he went down to the inn's common room was Hakkai chatting happily with the innkeeper's daughter. The monk was unsettled. Hakkai was flirting with (or was it talking to?) a girl, a pretty one no less. Was Gojyo on vacation?
"...and I saw the most beautiful roses when I was doing our shopping a few days ago. Some were snow white, others a burgundy red, and their stems and leaves were a magnificent shade of green. I do not understand how roses could grow in the winter, however."
"Ah, you mean our snow roses," the girl nodded knowingly. "There are indigenous to this town. We grow them in a hothouse, but they are still very hardy and accustomed to the cold. I could get some for you," she added coyly, with a flutter of thick eyelashes.
Hakkai smiled and shook his head.
"Oh no, that's okay. I was just thinking how pretty they would look as an addition to our tree. And yours," he added, glancing at the inn's pine which stood in the centre of the common room, twinkling with strands of multicoloured lights.
Feeling his restlessness growing into annoyance (or to a greater degree than usual), Sanzo went up to the counter and stood behind Hakkai as the young redhead started jabbering again. The look in his eyes was enough to stop the girl in mid-sentence, and she nervously excused herself. Hakkai turned around.
"Ah, good morning, Sanzo!" he said with a smile. "You're up awfully early." The smile bent down into a small frown. "I don't even have breakfast ready yet."
Sanzo considered a moment. And then, straining against every fiber of normalcy in his body, he focused on a spot above Hakkai's head and muttered "Let's get in there and make it then. I've not got all day." The world stopped spinning for a moment before turning around and running the other way. But despite that, the look on Hakkai's face was reward enough to justify using a faucet that drained counter counterclockwise.
Trying to pull a door open through at least eighteen inches of barely packed down snow was a time consuming feat, not to mention a cold one. But somehow Sanzo managed it, thankful for the boots and galosh the innkeeper had let him borrow, and plowed his way into the florist's shop. The sweet smell of countless plants and flowers assaulted him as he made his way to the counter. The clerk, a brunette roughly Sanzo's age gave him a polite smile and a discreet once-over.
"Hi, my name's Ken. May I help you?"
Sanzo slapped down the gold card.
"Three dozen snow roses. Now."
A claim receipt shoved in his robes, Sanzo passed down the long row of brightly decorated store display windows, each more gaudy than the last. He'd told the flabbergasted florist just to deliver the roses to the inn, and to do it discreetly or suffer the consequences; hopefully now his miserable romp through the elements could come to an end. Walking at a clip, Sanzo was planning how to distract Hakkai when a golden glimmer in a small old store front caught his eye amid the blinding tinsel and dyed holly. Curiosity got the best of him and he stopped to look. The twinkling object was nestled on top of a black velvet pouch, luminous under the display box's bright and slightly reddish light. Unbidden, the words of his master and Kazeon Bosatsu echoed in his head.
"Oh, what the hell," he said aloud to the vacant sidewalk before venturing into the warmth of the tiny store.
****
Dropping the last rose into a bud vase, Sanzo wiped his scratched hands on his robes (which had had a spin in the dryer) and stood back to admire his work. A self-satisfied smirk drifted into its natural place. Hakkai would be delighted; there could be no better gift. He'd be swept off his feet (or at least he'd better be), and then Sanzo could get down to the important part. Breaking away from slightly naughty thoughts, the monk glanced out the window. It was dark now; undoubtedly Hakkai would want to eat dinner and exchange presents soon. After absentmindedly tossing something onto the tree, Sanzo locked the bedroom door and disappeared downstairs to endure the cheer.
****
Hakkai sighed contentedly for the sixth time in the past half hour. Sanzo knew; those sighs had interrupted his reading once too often.
"Ne, Sanzo, wasn't tonight lovely?" Hakkai asked, knowing it would mostly likely be a rhetorical question.
It was.
"And Goku and Gojyo loved their gifts," he added, watching the saru and kappa chase each other around the room, fighting for Goku's bag of meatbuns.
It's Christmas, Sanzo acknowledged begrudgingly. And it was Hakkai. Might as well bite the bullet, as it were.
"They always love meatbuns and beer," he remarked to page A8.
Hakkai had been thrown a bone and he wasn't giving it back.
"How about you, Sanzo? Did you like yours?"
Sanzo looked at the royal purple sweater lying in a box next to him. For once he was glad for the standard monk robes, and even the scratchy washboard he had to wear with them. Hakkai's carefully knitted hand-wash-in-cold garment been a nice sentiment, though.
"Yeah. Thanks."
Hakkai seemed satisfied.
Deciding to waste no more time, Sanzo put his paper down resolutely on the coffee table and stood.
"Let's go upstairs."
Red antennae poked out from behind the doorfacing.
"Finally going to give Hakkai your gift, eh?" Gojyo grinned, sticking his head into the room. "I wondered why.."
Gojyo found his mouth shut and his hair trimmed in the space of two rapid shots.
"Maa, 'tis the season to be jolly," Hakkai reminded.
Goku's head suddenly appeared just under Gojyo's. "Ne, Sanzo, Hakkai, why does your room smell like.."
Two more shots and he and Gojyo fled to their room to write letters to Santa in the form of country songs.
Sanzo dragged a puzzled Hakkai and his cup of coffee upstairs and unceremoniously nudged him into their room before shutting and locking the door behind them again.
Hakkai merely stood and observed the room for a moment, speechless. Never in his life had he seen so many roses gathered in one place. He recognized them instantly as the snow roses he'd seen earlier. But they were everywhere; placed in bouquet vases and urns, stuck into the Christmas tree, on the fireplace mantel, shoved through the curtains, stapled to the walls, strewn on the bed...
On the bed?
Hakkai looked again. Sure enough, there were at least a dozen whole roses scattered across Sanzo's bed, stems and thorns snagging in the sheets.
Hakkai's curiosity was sufficient enough to shock his vocal chords into vibration.
"Anou...Sanzo? Why are there roses on the bed?"
Sanzo, who in Hakkai's silence had taken to glowering red-faced several feel away, glared back.
"That's all you can say?"
"Oh, no! It's absolutely beautiful, Sanzo," Hakkai assured him, "but...roses on the bed?"
"What?" the monk muttered, fingering the hem of his sleeve, "they go there too, don't they?"
"Well, yes, but usually the bulbs are removed from the stems and separated into petals, which are then sprinkled on the bed."
That made more sense. Sanzo had been thinking that sleeping on roses would be a bit uncomfortable, but nothing worse than having a saru foot shoved into his armpit.
"Do whatever you want to with them," he said testily as he headed toward the bag of supplies on the table to procure any strong potable beverages they had left. Hakkai caught him by the arm.
"Sanzo, did you do this for me?" he asked softly.
"I didn't do it because I enjoy horticulture."
Hakkai squeezed Sanzo's arm, unable to find the right words. Thanks didn't seem like quite enough.
Taking advantage of Hakkai's very rare silence, Sanzo reclaimed his arm and decided they'd use Hakkai's bed instead. No use in wasting valuable darkness. His recently liberated appendage was just beginning to sneak it's way around Hakkai's waist when the youkai, who had until that moment been gazing lovingly into purple eyes, caught sight of something shiny on the tree. He wondered over to the tree to check it out.
'What's this?" Hakkai questioned, pulling a gleaming golden ring from the tree branch it had been dropped haphazardly onto. A fine gold chain was attached, tangled a bit in the pine needles.
Sanzo blinked. So that's where he'd left it.
"Oh, that. It's a ring."
"Yes, it is," Hakkai agreed. "Is it yours?"
Sanzo rolled his eyes. "Do I look like the type of guy who stores his jewellry on a tree?"
Hakkai was quiet.
"It's for you, idiot," Sanzo said in frustration. Couldn't they just get on with it? He liked seeing Hakkai happy, but this slow progression was excruciating.
Looking nonplused, the brunette stared back.
"It's a wedding ring," he said in confusion.
Sanzo pinched the bridge of his nose. He now understood the basis for the "Not tonight honey, I have a headache" excuse.
"Obviously."
"Why?"
"You have to marry me before I can give you your Christmas gift."
Hakkai's confusion played roulette with his thought processes.
"And what is my gift?"
Sanzo was the picture of seriousness.
"Me."
The roulette ball came to rest in Thought Process' winning slot.
"Oh, I see," Hakkai nodded enthusiastically and smiled, "of course I'll marry you. Providing such a union is recognized as legal in this province."
"Who the hell cares," Sanzo growled, taking Hakkai by the shoulders and kissing him with a bit less force than he had imagined he'd use, which upon reflection was probably a good thing. Hakkai, still somewhat bewildered, responded in like manner before breaking away for air and to take a good look at the strangely attractive golden ring.
"Ne, Sanzo, what does this say?" he asked, noticing the flowing script etched in the inside of the band.
Sanzo thought back to his experience at the shoppe earlier; the writing hadn't been there before.
'Nice piece, that one,' the shopkeeper had said. 'One of only a limited number, and by far the most precious of them all.' The short little man had peered over the counter at him. 'I'll sell it at a great loss of profit to myself if you promise to take good care of it.' As Sanzo had left, he had stared after him and called "and mind you don't drop it in your fireplace or hold it over a Bunsen burner!' Sanzo had sanitized it with hot water when he'd gotten back; you could never be too careful with germs.
"It says Merry Christmas Hakkai," he responded easily.
Hakkai, when he'd recovered from both his shock and slight suspicion, touched Sanzo's arm.
"Thank you, Sanzo."
The monk nodded.
"Now, can we get to the actual gift here?" he said, managing to keep most of the impatience out of his voice as he steered Hakkai toward the bed.
Hakkai smiled.
"Of course."
In the next room, Gojyo pulled his pillow over his ears and held it tightly, adding the blankets as an afterthought. Good grief, even he wasn't this loud.
Goku snored and muttered in his sleep, one foot buried in Gojyo's armpit.
In Tenkai, Kanzeon Bosatsu grinned and leaned foward in her chair.
"Jiroushin, hurry up with my popcorn!"
In Sanzo's mind, the eidetic image of Koumyou Sanzo wished he had a pair of curtains to fit over Sanzo's eyes and perhaps some earplugs as well.
In the North Pole, Santa received an irritating letter from Son Goku and Sha Gojyo and fed it through the shredder after briefly contemplating tacking it to the notice board in his workshop for the elves to use as a dartboard during their breaks.
In sinks everywhere, water began to drain clockwise again.
And the world was all at peace and full of fluffy happiness. Until...
"Ne, Sanzo..."
"What?"
"Now that we're married, we can do this all the time, right? And when we return to Chang'an, I'll move into the temple with you and maybe even do a bit of redecorating..."
"Hakkai."
"Yes, Sanzo?"
"Next year you're getting a damn vacuum."