(no subject)
More fun with trauma last night.
Going to bed last night, we noticed that there were lights on in the space between the top of the kitchen cabinets and the ceiling. We hadn't known those lights existed, and we couldn't find the switch to turn them off.
I was scared they were going to cause a fire if we left them on overnight.
After unsuccessfully trying every light switch I could think of, Miriam and I went to bed. I asked her to tell me it was going to be ok, that this would not start a fire. She did, and if anything it made it worse. I could only think of how sure we'd been that everything was fine on our trips before and during the fire. I couldn't get past the fear.
I got back up for a more thorough search and managed to find the switch and turn it off (it was behind the box of rice on the kitchen counter and I'd bumped it when I made rice earlier) and I could sleep with only minor fear (which comes and goes every single day) that our living space was going to burn. Again.