Comforting a friend.
First first attempt at porn. As usual all feedback is welcome. I'd really like to know how far I failed succeded. Sorry for the terible title. I couldn't think of anything better.
I actually wrote this in October/November last year, but have only just gotten round to posting it. Again, I fail. Sorry!
Thanks go to elizajet for beta-ing for me. Any mistakes left are entirely my own.
Pairing: Koyama/Shige
Warnings: angst, porn, mentions of Ryo and Yamapi leaving NEWS.
Rating: R
Koyama sighs to himself as he hears his doorbell ring. He already knows who it is; no one else would ring his door at half past one in the morning. Besides, Shige has been here every night for the past week.
He pulls his dressing gown tighter around himself as he opens the door and lets his best friend in.
“Difficulty sleeping again?” he asks, not that it's necessary with the way that Shige looks like he's one of the walking dead. Shige nods anyway and shuffles into Koyama's apartment.
Koyama closes and locks the door behind him and leads Shige into the bedroom. He climbs into bed, thankful for his own insight in staying up so that he he’s not half-dead himself now, followed by Shige.
It's been over a month now and Shige is no closer to being over it then he was at the beginning. Koyama knows that he just has to give him time, but it hurts to see Shige like this. Though at least Shige isn't crying constantly like he did the first week. Well, not in front of him anyway. Koyama suspects that Shige still cries to himself when he's alone, if his puffy eyes are any indication.
It's been a month. A month since Yamapi and Ryo left the band, leaving them all in limbo. A month since Yamapi announced that he was leaving to go solo. An announcement that they had all been privately suspecting, but had never acknowledged. A month since Ryo had shocked them all by stating his intention to follow Yamapi and leave as well. A month since Ryo had broken up with Shige and left him heartbroken and devastated.
Shige had not seen it coming. Things hadn’t changed between the two of them. They were still very much in love (or so Shige had thought), they were still having amazing sex, they still talked and bickered. There were no fights, no falling out. No change at all. Shige had just come home from the gym one day to find Ryo sitting at the table and wanting to talk.
Ryo had told him that things weren't working out and that he was sorry but he didn't love Shige any more. Shige had been blindsided and tried to get Ryo to stay, to give him another chance but Ryo had just apologised again and left. Shige had spent all night crying on Koyama's sofa and Koyama had spent all night trying to heal Shige's broken heart. The next day they had been called into a meeting and Ryo had announced that he was leaving NEWS.
Koyama had felt like the rug had been pulled from underneath him, he couldn't even imagine what Shige was feeling. Looking at him, all Koyama could see on Shige's face was shock, hurt and disappointment. He was clenching his fists so tightly they were white and staring up at Ryo who was resolutely avoiding all eye contact. Koyama heard Tegoshi ask Ryo a question and Ryo's apology. He turned back just in time to see Ryo bow to them all, still avoiding their gaze and then turn to leave the room. That was the last time they had seen him.
Koyama shifts in the bed, pulling the covers over himself more and turns to face Shige. Shige’s just staring over Koyama's shoulder at the wall, eyes wet. Koyama puts his arms out to pull him into them. He doesn't resist at all, falling into Koyama so his head is between his head and shoulder, his face pressed against Koyama's neck. He brings his hands up to rest on Koyama's other shoulder and Koyama's arms tighten over his torso.
They lie like that for a long time. Shige isn't crying. Not exactly. But his breathing is irregular and he's clutching at Koyama like he needs him to survive. Which in a way, he does, thinks Koyama. He waits until Shige's breathing evens out, becoming deeper and more relaxed. His death grip relaxes somewhat, and Koyama idly wonders if he'll have a bruise there tomorrow. Not that it matters. He'll take a scolding from the make-up artist any day of the week if it means helping Shige. He can't do much, except just be there for Shige when he needs him. So he's going to do that to the best of his abilities.
He lies there holding onto to Shige, with Shige loosely clinging onto him and breathing into his neck. He’s just starting to think that maybe Shige has fallen asleep on him when he feels Shige move against him.
Shige is moving his head against Koyama's neck, his nose nuzzling against Koyama's jawline. Confused, Koyama turns his head to ask Shige what he wants, and Shige leans forward and ever-so-gently kisses Koyama on the mouth. He pulls back slightly and looks at Koyama with a mix of hope and worry. Koyama brings his hand up to Shige's cheek as he leans forward to connect their mouths again.
Koyama is not gay. He is very much straight, has never even thought about being with another guy. But Koyama loves Shige. Shige is his best friend and he will do anything for him. Even this. Right now Shige needs comforting and Koyama is not going to reject him. He'd rather jump off a cliff than hurt Shige. In comparison, a little fooling around seems like a breeze.
Shige is once again clutching onto Koyama for dear life, only now their legs are intertwined as well. By contrast, Shige is kissing Koyama so gently it's like he's scared he's going to spook him. That thought makes Koyama decide that if he's going to do this, he's going to do it properly.
He rolls them over so that Shige is on his back and Koyama is lying on top of him. He breaks the kiss to catch his breath and to look into Shige's eyes. He's still looking nervous and unsure and Koyama decides it's his personal mission to make that look disappear from Shige's face. He leans back down and runs his tongue over Shige's bottom lip before joining their lips together again.
Shige's tongue finds its way into Koyama's mouth and he gasps. Shige is a good kisser. Like really, really good. This isn't so bad, Koyama thinks to himself as he angles himself to deepen the kiss.
The movement causes Shige to break the kiss and suck in a breath. Koyama is confused for a moment until he shifts slightly and feels Shige hard against his leg. Oh, he thinks and smiles to himself. He rolls himself completely on top of Shige and presses his hips down against him. Shige moans and his eyes roll back into the back of his head, his hands scrabbling at Koyama's hips for purchase. Koyama leans down again and attaches his lips to Shige's neck as he rolls his hips down again.
“Kei...”, Shige breathes, and it's one of the hottest things that Koyama has ever heard. His hips move automatically this time and he inhales sharply as he feels himself harden as well.
The realisation makes him groan into Shige's neck, biting and sucking on the flesh beneath his mouth as Shige moans and writhes underneath him. Koyama's hands work their way up Shige's body until they come to rest in his hair, and he leans up to press his lips once again to Shige's. Koyama is still rocking, his hips grinding down into Shige's which are grinding upwards, their cocks rubbing together through the material of their clothes, Shige's hands on his hips pulling them together in just the right way.
Just when Koyama thinks he can't take it any longer, Shige moves his hands. He starts pulling at the robe that Koyama is still wearing, and Koyama thinks that clearly Shige is deserving of the genius moniker as he pulls his dressing gown off, leaving him in only his underwear.
However, Shige is still wearing his T-shirt and sweatpants and Koyama thinks that this is grossly unfair. Tearing his mouth away from Shige's - the younger boy whining at the loss of contact - Koyama slides his hands down Shige's body and teases under his top. In one movement he pulls it up and over his head, Shige leaning up slightly to help.
Shige leans back on his elbows as Koyama straddles his hips and leans down to fuse their mouths back together again. Shige's hands are running over his back as Koyama kisses Shige wetly and runs his hands over Shige's chest. Koyama doesn't really know what to do now. While he has had sex many times before and considers himself to be quite good at it, he doesn't think his usual technique will work on Shige. Plus Shige would probably punch him for treating him like a girl.
Shige looks up and sees Koyama clearly at a loss for how to proceed. He pulls Koyama down, while they roll over at the same time. Koyama ends up on his back with Shige hovering over him. Shige smiles down at him, and he is pleased to note that his worries from earlier have disappeared. Shige places a gentle kiss on his lips, but just as he opens them to kiss back, Shige pulls back, his mouth reappearing on his neck.
Shige doesn't stop there, licking down Koyama's chest and it's a testament to how new he is to this whole thing that he doesn't figure out what Shige's planning until his mouth is nearly at Koyama's navel. Koyama squeaks and pulls at Shige's hair, trying to get him to look at him. “You don't have to do that Shige!” he says, hoping that he doesn't sound as breathless as he feels. Shige looks up at him and whispers “please” and Koyama doesn't know what to do.
“Please let me, please don't stop me”, he pleads as he ghosts his hands over the Koyama's cock through his boxers. That look is back on his face again, his lower lip sucked between his teeth.
“Please”, he whispers again and Koyama knows that if he stops this now then it will take ages for Shige to recover. He started it, he can't back out now. He nods once and says, “OK” and that's enough for Shige to lean forward and pull Koyama's underpants down.
Koyama lies back down and closes his eyes. Thinks about how he's helping Shige in order to distract himself from the fact that he's about to get a blowjob from his best friend. Who happens to be a guy. Koyama doesn't - holy shit!
Koyama's hips shoot straight off the bed as the wet warmth envelopes his cock. He feels Shige's hands grip onto his hips and hold them down and mentally reminds himself to keep still, but it's so difficult when Shige is running his tongue over the head of his cock like that. His hands find their way into Shige's hair, not trying to dictate the pace, just feeling the motion of Shige's head as his mouth slides up and down. Shige slides down once again and sucks hard. Koyama is using every last ounce of his willpower not to just thrust up into Shige's mouth or pull Shige's head down onto him. He's gotten blowjobs before, but never like this!
Koyama is mentally reciting the hiragana chart backwards in a desperate attempt to last longer. He is about to lose the battle with himself when Shige pulls off of him. Koyama actually whines in desperation as his body tries to follow Shige, desperate for contact. But Shige hasn't gone very far. He brings one of his hands up to wrap around Koyama while he moves down further to mouth at Koyama's balls. By this point Koyama is writhing on the bed and couldn't care less that the one sucking him off is Shige. By this point Koyama couldn't care less that Shige is male, that Shige is his best friend, his bandmate. By this point Koyama can't think much of anything.
Shige moves back up to suck on Koyama's cock, using his hand to cover the part that his mouth can't reach. He swallows him down as far as he can and hums, and that's it for Koyama. His back arches as he comes, he attempts to push Shige away from him, but Shige just ignores him and continues to suck until his orgasm is over and he lies back against the bed. His hair is stuck to his forehead and he's ridiculously sweaty and panting like he's just run a marathon. After a few minutes, after his breathing has returned to normal, he opens his eyes to look at Shige who is sat back on his heels, still straddling Koyama and looking the closest to happy that Koyama has seen in a month.
Koyama smiles up at Shige and is about to pull Shige down to him when he realises that Shige is still wearing his sweatpants and is still very much hard beneath them. He raises himself up so that he's sitting, with Shige kneeling above him. He angles his head and put his hand behind Shige's head to pull him down. He kisses Shige while he considers his options.
He can't leave Shige hanging. That would incredibly mean of him and would defeat the whole point of this trying-to-make-Shige-feel-better thing. He doesn't think he can return the favour though. Despite his current actions he's still not gay and the thought of giving a blowjob makes him shudder. Which he doesn't think that Shige would find very sexy anyway. He knows he wouldn't if a girl was shuddering while in bed with him. Koyama decides to just use his hand. While he's never given a handjob to anybody either, he's done it to himself enough times so should be able to figure it out right? Besides, how hard can it be? He'll just do what he does to himself and that should be fine.
Koyama slides his hands down Shige's chest and plays his fingers along the waistband of Shige's pants. Shige breaks the kiss to inhale shakily and looks at him.
“You don't have to”, Shige says. “I can do it myself, you don't have to...” Koyama doesn't even bother to reply, using one of his hands to pull open Shige's pants and reaches inside with the other to grasp Shige's cock.
Shige stops talking as he falls against him with a cry. He pulls Shige's pants down as far as they will go and starts to move his hand. Shige is rocking his hips back and forth, fucking Koyama's hand and he sees that Shige is very close and will probably not last very long. He ends up not doing very much, the angle is too awkward for him to imagine it's his own cock and Shige seems content to do most of the work anyway. So Koyama just tightens his grip and rubs his thumb over the tip of Shige's cock.
Shige has his hands on Koyama's shoulders and his face is once again pressed into Koyama's neck. His movements are becoming erratic and he is mumbling nonsense into Koyama's skin. Koyama puts his free hand up to Shige's head and runs his fingers through his hair. He turns his head and kisses Shige on the forehead and that is what appears to set Shige off, his hips thrusting wildly and hands clinging desperately to Koyama, who turns his head away and pretends not to hear Shige's agonised cry of “Ryo!”
Shige slumps down onto Koyama and shudders from the aftershocks of his orgasm. Koyama holds him awkwardly with one arm, while wondering what he's supposed to do with the other hand. Shige solves the problem by leaning to the side and picking up Koyama's box of tissues from the bedside table, taking a couple for himself and passing the box to Koyama. He climbs off of Koyama and turns around to clean himself up, so Koyama takes one as well and wipes off his hand, as well as his chest where Shige had caught him.
Not knowing what to do or say in this situation - Blowjob! Handjob! Best friend! Man! Gay! his mind helpfully supplies - he gets up to go to the bathroom. There, he washes his hands and splashes water on his face. Then he goes back to his bedroom. Shige is fully dressed by the time he gets back and is sitting on the bed, back to the headboard and covers pulled up to his lap. Koyama smiles at the normality of the scene and grabs some sweatpants from a drawer, pulling them on before hopping into bed next to Shige and lying down.
Shige looks at Koyama for a second before lying down as well, turning so that they're facing each other. Koyama still doesn't know what he's supposed to do or say, but he doesn't want things to be awkward between them. The last thing Shige needs after losing his boyfriend and a third of his band, is to lose his best friend as well. But before he can say anything though, Shige speaks.
“Thank you” he says, and Koyama looks at him in surprise. “Thanks for, um, letting me. Do that. To you. For not stopping me. I know you're not... that you don't... um. Well, anyway. Thank you”, he mumbles embarrassedly. Koyama smiles. Shige being awkward is a welcome return to the status quo. He hadn't realised how much he'd missed Shige until just now. He smiles and pulls Shige back into his arms. Shige resists for a moment, but soon stops when Koyama tells him that he's going to hug Shige in his sleep anyway so Shige might as well get comfortable now.
Koyama holds Shige, and knows that nothing has changed between them. That they are still best friends, nothing more, nothing less. Shige is not expecting Koyama to take Ryo's place in his heart, or his bed. That this was just another way for Shige let out his emotions. Koyama knows that if Shige needed him, he would do it again in an instant. Koyama also knows that Shige will never ask again. A one time deal is all it was. Koyama knows all of this and more, without having to exchange a single word with Shige. Because Shige is his best friend. And what they have goes deeper than words.
I actually wrote this in October/November last year, but have only just gotten round to posting it. Again, I fail. Sorry!
Thanks go to elizajet for beta-ing for me. Any mistakes left are entirely my own.
Pairing: Koyama/Shige
Warnings: angst, porn, mentions of Ryo and Yamapi leaving NEWS.
Rating: R
Koyama sighs to himself as he hears his doorbell ring. He already knows who it is; no one else would ring his door at half past one in the morning. Besides, Shige has been here every night for the past week.
He pulls his dressing gown tighter around himself as he opens the door and lets his best friend in.
“Difficulty sleeping again?” he asks, not that it's necessary with the way that Shige looks like he's one of the walking dead. Shige nods anyway and shuffles into Koyama's apartment.
Koyama closes and locks the door behind him and leads Shige into the bedroom. He climbs into bed, thankful for his own insight in staying up so that he he’s not half-dead himself now, followed by Shige.
It's been over a month now and Shige is no closer to being over it then he was at the beginning. Koyama knows that he just has to give him time, but it hurts to see Shige like this. Though at least Shige isn't crying constantly like he did the first week. Well, not in front of him anyway. Koyama suspects that Shige still cries to himself when he's alone, if his puffy eyes are any indication.
It's been a month. A month since Yamapi and Ryo left the band, leaving them all in limbo. A month since Yamapi announced that he was leaving to go solo. An announcement that they had all been privately suspecting, but had never acknowledged. A month since Ryo had shocked them all by stating his intention to follow Yamapi and leave as well. A month since Ryo had broken up with Shige and left him heartbroken and devastated.
Shige had not seen it coming. Things hadn’t changed between the two of them. They were still very much in love (or so Shige had thought), they were still having amazing sex, they still talked and bickered. There were no fights, no falling out. No change at all. Shige had just come home from the gym one day to find Ryo sitting at the table and wanting to talk.
Ryo had told him that things weren't working out and that he was sorry but he didn't love Shige any more. Shige had been blindsided and tried to get Ryo to stay, to give him another chance but Ryo had just apologised again and left. Shige had spent all night crying on Koyama's sofa and Koyama had spent all night trying to heal Shige's broken heart. The next day they had been called into a meeting and Ryo had announced that he was leaving NEWS.
Koyama had felt like the rug had been pulled from underneath him, he couldn't even imagine what Shige was feeling. Looking at him, all Koyama could see on Shige's face was shock, hurt and disappointment. He was clenching his fists so tightly they were white and staring up at Ryo who was resolutely avoiding all eye contact. Koyama heard Tegoshi ask Ryo a question and Ryo's apology. He turned back just in time to see Ryo bow to them all, still avoiding their gaze and then turn to leave the room. That was the last time they had seen him.
Koyama shifts in the bed, pulling the covers over himself more and turns to face Shige. Shige’s just staring over Koyama's shoulder at the wall, eyes wet. Koyama puts his arms out to pull him into them. He doesn't resist at all, falling into Koyama so his head is between his head and shoulder, his face pressed against Koyama's neck. He brings his hands up to rest on Koyama's other shoulder and Koyama's arms tighten over his torso.
They lie like that for a long time. Shige isn't crying. Not exactly. But his breathing is irregular and he's clutching at Koyama like he needs him to survive. Which in a way, he does, thinks Koyama. He waits until Shige's breathing evens out, becoming deeper and more relaxed. His death grip relaxes somewhat, and Koyama idly wonders if he'll have a bruise there tomorrow. Not that it matters. He'll take a scolding from the make-up artist any day of the week if it means helping Shige. He can't do much, except just be there for Shige when he needs him. So he's going to do that to the best of his abilities.
He lies there holding onto to Shige, with Shige loosely clinging onto him and breathing into his neck. He’s just starting to think that maybe Shige has fallen asleep on him when he feels Shige move against him.
Shige is moving his head against Koyama's neck, his nose nuzzling against Koyama's jawline. Confused, Koyama turns his head to ask Shige what he wants, and Shige leans forward and ever-so-gently kisses Koyama on the mouth. He pulls back slightly and looks at Koyama with a mix of hope and worry. Koyama brings his hand up to Shige's cheek as he leans forward to connect their mouths again.
Koyama is not gay. He is very much straight, has never even thought about being with another guy. But Koyama loves Shige. Shige is his best friend and he will do anything for him. Even this. Right now Shige needs comforting and Koyama is not going to reject him. He'd rather jump off a cliff than hurt Shige. In comparison, a little fooling around seems like a breeze.
Shige is once again clutching onto Koyama for dear life, only now their legs are intertwined as well. By contrast, Shige is kissing Koyama so gently it's like he's scared he's going to spook him. That thought makes Koyama decide that if he's going to do this, he's going to do it properly.
He rolls them over so that Shige is on his back and Koyama is lying on top of him. He breaks the kiss to catch his breath and to look into Shige's eyes. He's still looking nervous and unsure and Koyama decides it's his personal mission to make that look disappear from Shige's face. He leans back down and runs his tongue over Shige's bottom lip before joining their lips together again.
Shige's tongue finds its way into Koyama's mouth and he gasps. Shige is a good kisser. Like really, really good. This isn't so bad, Koyama thinks to himself as he angles himself to deepen the kiss.
The movement causes Shige to break the kiss and suck in a breath. Koyama is confused for a moment until he shifts slightly and feels Shige hard against his leg. Oh, he thinks and smiles to himself. He rolls himself completely on top of Shige and presses his hips down against him. Shige moans and his eyes roll back into the back of his head, his hands scrabbling at Koyama's hips for purchase. Koyama leans down again and attaches his lips to Shige's neck as he rolls his hips down again.
“Kei...”, Shige breathes, and it's one of the hottest things that Koyama has ever heard. His hips move automatically this time and he inhales sharply as he feels himself harden as well.
The realisation makes him groan into Shige's neck, biting and sucking on the flesh beneath his mouth as Shige moans and writhes underneath him. Koyama's hands work their way up Shige's body until they come to rest in his hair, and he leans up to press his lips once again to Shige's. Koyama is still rocking, his hips grinding down into Shige's which are grinding upwards, their cocks rubbing together through the material of their clothes, Shige's hands on his hips pulling them together in just the right way.
Just when Koyama thinks he can't take it any longer, Shige moves his hands. He starts pulling at the robe that Koyama is still wearing, and Koyama thinks that clearly Shige is deserving of the genius moniker as he pulls his dressing gown off, leaving him in only his underwear.
However, Shige is still wearing his T-shirt and sweatpants and Koyama thinks that this is grossly unfair. Tearing his mouth away from Shige's - the younger boy whining at the loss of contact - Koyama slides his hands down Shige's body and teases under his top. In one movement he pulls it up and over his head, Shige leaning up slightly to help.
Shige leans back on his elbows as Koyama straddles his hips and leans down to fuse their mouths back together again. Shige's hands are running over his back as Koyama kisses Shige wetly and runs his hands over Shige's chest. Koyama doesn't really know what to do now. While he has had sex many times before and considers himself to be quite good at it, he doesn't think his usual technique will work on Shige. Plus Shige would probably punch him for treating him like a girl.
Shige looks up and sees Koyama clearly at a loss for how to proceed. He pulls Koyama down, while they roll over at the same time. Koyama ends up on his back with Shige hovering over him. Shige smiles down at him, and he is pleased to note that his worries from earlier have disappeared. Shige places a gentle kiss on his lips, but just as he opens them to kiss back, Shige pulls back, his mouth reappearing on his neck.
Shige doesn't stop there, licking down Koyama's chest and it's a testament to how new he is to this whole thing that he doesn't figure out what Shige's planning until his mouth is nearly at Koyama's navel. Koyama squeaks and pulls at Shige's hair, trying to get him to look at him. “You don't have to do that Shige!” he says, hoping that he doesn't sound as breathless as he feels. Shige looks up at him and whispers “please” and Koyama doesn't know what to do.
“Please let me, please don't stop me”, he pleads as he ghosts his hands over the Koyama's cock through his boxers. That look is back on his face again, his lower lip sucked between his teeth.
“Please”, he whispers again and Koyama knows that if he stops this now then it will take ages for Shige to recover. He started it, he can't back out now. He nods once and says, “OK” and that's enough for Shige to lean forward and pull Koyama's underpants down.
Koyama lies back down and closes his eyes. Thinks about how he's helping Shige in order to distract himself from the fact that he's about to get a blowjob from his best friend. Who happens to be a guy. Koyama doesn't - holy shit!
Koyama's hips shoot straight off the bed as the wet warmth envelopes his cock. He feels Shige's hands grip onto his hips and hold them down and mentally reminds himself to keep still, but it's so difficult when Shige is running his tongue over the head of his cock like that. His hands find their way into Shige's hair, not trying to dictate the pace, just feeling the motion of Shige's head as his mouth slides up and down. Shige slides down once again and sucks hard. Koyama is using every last ounce of his willpower not to just thrust up into Shige's mouth or pull Shige's head down onto him. He's gotten blowjobs before, but never like this!
Koyama is mentally reciting the hiragana chart backwards in a desperate attempt to last longer. He is about to lose the battle with himself when Shige pulls off of him. Koyama actually whines in desperation as his body tries to follow Shige, desperate for contact. But Shige hasn't gone very far. He brings one of his hands up to wrap around Koyama while he moves down further to mouth at Koyama's balls. By this point Koyama is writhing on the bed and couldn't care less that the one sucking him off is Shige. By this point Koyama couldn't care less that Shige is male, that Shige is his best friend, his bandmate. By this point Koyama can't think much of anything.
Shige moves back up to suck on Koyama's cock, using his hand to cover the part that his mouth can't reach. He swallows him down as far as he can and hums, and that's it for Koyama. His back arches as he comes, he attempts to push Shige away from him, but Shige just ignores him and continues to suck until his orgasm is over and he lies back against the bed. His hair is stuck to his forehead and he's ridiculously sweaty and panting like he's just run a marathon. After a few minutes, after his breathing has returned to normal, he opens his eyes to look at Shige who is sat back on his heels, still straddling Koyama and looking the closest to happy that Koyama has seen in a month.
Koyama smiles up at Shige and is about to pull Shige down to him when he realises that Shige is still wearing his sweatpants and is still very much hard beneath them. He raises himself up so that he's sitting, with Shige kneeling above him. He angles his head and put his hand behind Shige's head to pull him down. He kisses Shige while he considers his options.
He can't leave Shige hanging. That would incredibly mean of him and would defeat the whole point of this trying-to-make-Shige-feel-better thing. He doesn't think he can return the favour though. Despite his current actions he's still not gay and the thought of giving a blowjob makes him shudder. Which he doesn't think that Shige would find very sexy anyway. He knows he wouldn't if a girl was shuddering while in bed with him. Koyama decides to just use his hand. While he's never given a handjob to anybody either, he's done it to himself enough times so should be able to figure it out right? Besides, how hard can it be? He'll just do what he does to himself and that should be fine.
Koyama slides his hands down Shige's chest and plays his fingers along the waistband of Shige's pants. Shige breaks the kiss to inhale shakily and looks at him.
“You don't have to”, Shige says. “I can do it myself, you don't have to...” Koyama doesn't even bother to reply, using one of his hands to pull open Shige's pants and reaches inside with the other to grasp Shige's cock.
Shige stops talking as he falls against him with a cry. He pulls Shige's pants down as far as they will go and starts to move his hand. Shige is rocking his hips back and forth, fucking Koyama's hand and he sees that Shige is very close and will probably not last very long. He ends up not doing very much, the angle is too awkward for him to imagine it's his own cock and Shige seems content to do most of the work anyway. So Koyama just tightens his grip and rubs his thumb over the tip of Shige's cock.
Shige has his hands on Koyama's shoulders and his face is once again pressed into Koyama's neck. His movements are becoming erratic and he is mumbling nonsense into Koyama's skin. Koyama puts his free hand up to Shige's head and runs his fingers through his hair. He turns his head and kisses Shige on the forehead and that is what appears to set Shige off, his hips thrusting wildly and hands clinging desperately to Koyama, who turns his head away and pretends not to hear Shige's agonised cry of “Ryo!”
Shige slumps down onto Koyama and shudders from the aftershocks of his orgasm. Koyama holds him awkwardly with one arm, while wondering what he's supposed to do with the other hand. Shige solves the problem by leaning to the side and picking up Koyama's box of tissues from the bedside table, taking a couple for himself and passing the box to Koyama. He climbs off of Koyama and turns around to clean himself up, so Koyama takes one as well and wipes off his hand, as well as his chest where Shige had caught him.
Not knowing what to do or say in this situation - Blowjob! Handjob! Best friend! Man! Gay! his mind helpfully supplies - he gets up to go to the bathroom. There, he washes his hands and splashes water on his face. Then he goes back to his bedroom. Shige is fully dressed by the time he gets back and is sitting on the bed, back to the headboard and covers pulled up to his lap. Koyama smiles at the normality of the scene and grabs some sweatpants from a drawer, pulling them on before hopping into bed next to Shige and lying down.
Shige looks at Koyama for a second before lying down as well, turning so that they're facing each other. Koyama still doesn't know what he's supposed to do or say, but he doesn't want things to be awkward between them. The last thing Shige needs after losing his boyfriend and a third of his band, is to lose his best friend as well. But before he can say anything though, Shige speaks.
“Thank you” he says, and Koyama looks at him in surprise. “Thanks for, um, letting me. Do that. To you. For not stopping me. I know you're not... that you don't... um. Well, anyway. Thank you”, he mumbles embarrassedly. Koyama smiles. Shige being awkward is a welcome return to the status quo. He hadn't realised how much he'd missed Shige until just now. He smiles and pulls Shige back into his arms. Shige resists for a moment, but soon stops when Koyama tells him that he's going to hug Shige in his sleep anyway so Shige might as well get comfortable now.
Koyama holds Shige, and knows that nothing has changed between them. That they are still best friends, nothing more, nothing less. Shige is not expecting Koyama to take Ryo's place in his heart, or his bed. That this was just another way for Shige let out his emotions. Koyama knows that if Shige needed him, he would do it again in an instant. Koyama also knows that Shige will never ask again. A one time deal is all it was. Koyama knows all of this and more, without having to exchange a single word with Shige. Because Shige is his best friend. And what they have goes deeper than words.