This post is my "Catwoman."

[stoney321]

Because they can't all be "Monster's Ball." Okay, I know four of you are laughing.

Reasons I Should Have My Own Back-hoe

• digging is fun
• digging without making your back flip through pre-Born Again Anne Rice novels for appropriate curses on your person is far more fun
• I enjoy saying "back hoe" as it conjures up images of a spare whore, which I believe everyone should have
• I would sit in it, feet on the dash, trash mag in my hand and a mojito for sippin' with the BEEP!BEEP!BEEP! noise blaring while my Right Angle Worshiping Neighbor uses his stupid leaf blower
• sometimes I wish I was a butch dyke, and a back-ho would go a long way to making me feel like one

I have a book. I have a cool drink. I have sunshine. I had a baby last night. WAIT! I said that wrong. I had a surprise visit from one of my best friends that moved out of state with her BEE-YOU-TEE-FUL baby boy Milo (aww!) and he cooed and giggled at me and I almost stole him. Then he needed to be changed and I handed him back. (I'm joking. I love babies. Everything about them. It's TODDLERS that should go to boarding school. Why don't they do this?)

Mmmm, Texas sunshine. (also: hello new friends! Be prepared for an essay contest tomorrow. There will be prizes!)

LASTLY: We have a Tom Cruise (cruisn4alawsuit) now at a_list_celebs and Katie is rumored to pop at any time with their human child. Made from the finest sperm LA sperm banks had to offer. And you aren't following that comm because WHY? Are you ALLERGIC to funny? :D Check out the member list if you're curious who all is playing there. *wanders off whistling*