(no subject)
I've had a lot going on in my life in the past few days, and I've realized that I'm at a crossroads. I don't know what's going to happen next in my life, but I do believe that I have a decent amount of control over what I do.
I've wanted to design video games since I was eight years old, and twenty years later I have 14 games on shelves with my name on them, with a few more coming. There are still games that I want to make, but I have to figure out if the best way to get those games made is to stay where I'm at or go a different way. Heck, I have to figure out if making those games is even my next goal.
There are a lot of people I love here, but I have to admit that there is no one here that would stop me from leaving. I have made some friendships that will last, hopefully, for the rest of my life, but not the best-friend kind of relationship. Honestly, there's no one here I truly open up to, nor anyone here that really opens up to me. Almost all of my friends here are married as well.
What's really strange, far different from the norm, is that I'm really in pretty good shape if I want to do something different. I've got some money saved up, don't have much debt now, and could live without some frills for awhile in case I needed time to establish something.
The only thing I fear is that possibility that the change would be for the worse. I still don't know if the risk is worth it - now, at least. There will be a time when it is more certain, or events force change anyways, such as the sale or closing of the company.
This week will tell me a lot, and if nothing else it should hopefully end well. This Friday is one of my company's game days - we have two a year, and all we do is play games. It's a fun time to socialize with all of the guys (and one girl.)
I hate it when life gets heavy. I miss a week ago, when I had all this crap blocked in my subconscious and the toughest decision I faced was what to eat for lunch.
I've wanted to design video games since I was eight years old, and twenty years later I have 14 games on shelves with my name on them, with a few more coming. There are still games that I want to make, but I have to figure out if the best way to get those games made is to stay where I'm at or go a different way. Heck, I have to figure out if making those games is even my next goal.
There are a lot of people I love here, but I have to admit that there is no one here that would stop me from leaving. I have made some friendships that will last, hopefully, for the rest of my life, but not the best-friend kind of relationship. Honestly, there's no one here I truly open up to, nor anyone here that really opens up to me. Almost all of my friends here are married as well.
What's really strange, far different from the norm, is that I'm really in pretty good shape if I want to do something different. I've got some money saved up, don't have much debt now, and could live without some frills for awhile in case I needed time to establish something.
The only thing I fear is that possibility that the change would be for the worse. I still don't know if the risk is worth it - now, at least. There will be a time when it is more certain, or events force change anyways, such as the sale or closing of the company.
This week will tell me a lot, and if nothing else it should hopefully end well. This Friday is one of my company's game days - we have two a year, and all we do is play games. It's a fun time to socialize with all of the guys (and one girl.)
I hate it when life gets heavy. I miss a week ago, when I had all this crap blocked in my subconscious and the toughest decision I faced was what to eat for lunch.