There's a Problem in This Country
And it is called FAY IS STILL HERE. >.< Listen, Auntie Fay. You need to step on over to wherever you're going. Get one of those little scooter thingies you can use at the supermarket and just GO, man! Because I can't take you any longer! Not after the way you WRONGED me today and made me look like a fool in front of all my PEOPLES.
See, I'm no stranger to hurricanes. I saw that Hugo back in the 80s. And Hortense in the 90s. And, while I wasn't there for it, I am assured that my old house fared just as well against Georges. My house was made of the sturdiest of cements and we lived on this hill-type thing and we were SET. Only thing to worry about was power outages. And having no water. But nothing ELSE. No flooding and no my-house-getting-blown-away. No, sir. We looked FORWARD to hurricanes (meaning us kids) because it meant no school. Except for the whole no Nintendo thing.
And then we moved here and hurricanes came in 2004 and I was scared of hurricanes for the first time. This was because our house was NOT made of the sturdiest of cements at all (in fact, a lot of times I wonder if our walls are made of cardboard), and I had no clue if this area flooded or not. My fortress was GONE, y'all! So, yeah, I was freaked out when Charley came, but we prepared as best we could and our house was strong and withstood not only Charley's might but also Frances's and Jeanne's. And I was once again not afraid of hurricanes. Now I knew I could count on my new house just as I could count on my old one.
But here comes auntie FAY. And I'm all, "Don't worry, guys. I can tell this one is just lame." Because tropical storms usually are. I can't remember the last tropical storm I, or anyone I know, batted an eyelash at. It's like...some normal rainy days are worse than tropical storms. And yet...I was playing with fire by underestimating this storm. Who was I to minimize this storm that had flooded a junkload of houses? It's like...Jurassic Park or something. We never had control and that's why the ice cream tasted so good, Ellie. That's what that scene was about, right? Spared no expense?
The point is that Fay finally came to my area and it rained all day and it winded and stuff. All was fine till I go to the kitchen to get me some of those Lays chips I saw the other day in the pantry when all of a sudden...my foot is wet. "Lo! What's THIS?" says I, and I turn on the light and look at the ceiling and there is a weird small WETNESS on it. It's nothing terrible but it's still there and it can't be good and I am just APPALLED. MY HOUSE IS LEAKING? FROM A TROPICAL STORM? I had to put my hand over my heart. I mean, all my friends back home would laugh. I'd never live it down. "Her roof leaked...FROM A TROPICAL STORM LOLOLOL!!" Yeah. I could never go to the class reunion.
Anyway, I woke dad up all like "OMG DAD I THINK THE STORM ATE OUR ROOF QUICK GET TOTO" and he was like "!?!?!" just as I was because, it is a TROPICAL STORM. And so, he went up to the attic to check it out and I still don't know what it was cause he didn't give me details but he put some towels on the thing and says it should be fine. The ceiling's already drying off, even, and it's not leaking anymore or anything, but that was still some WEIRD JANK that I do not approve of. Luckily, it was just that side.
Now, let me tell you this. Earlier in the day, I found a baby lizard on the wall next to the front door. I'm all freaking out because I don't like reptiles or amphibians or whatever lizards are (actually, I don't like reptiles or amphibians anyway, I think). I call my brother over to kill it or get it out or whatever. My brother's one of those don't-kill-anything people, so he doesn't want to kill it. I tell him I don't care what he does with it as long as it is out of my house. He tries to get it outside and pretty much succeeds. I tell him to shut the door quick, but the stupid lizard tries to come back in as he does it and...kind of dies in the process. My brother gets mad at me for telling him to shut the door so fast. A life was lost.
What I'm trying to say is, that lizard CURSED ME somehow. And made our roof leak. >.< And that is why I don't like lizards. Because they...make your roof leak. I've always known this to be true and it has just been proven. I think it's rude of the lizard, though. I don't break into lizard homes and then curse lizards when they snap me in half by shutting the door. No. In those cases, I just die peacefully yet painfully.
The point of all this is that you should always root for the underdog and not underestimate them because they will make your roof leak and then you will look dumb in front of all your friends. This is just like David and Goliath. And I was Fay's 5'2" Goliath. And she threw a rock at my forehead and it hurt.
I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, FAY! Just take your people and GO! >_< You're FREE!
See, I'm no stranger to hurricanes. I saw that Hugo back in the 80s. And Hortense in the 90s. And, while I wasn't there for it, I am assured that my old house fared just as well against Georges. My house was made of the sturdiest of cements and we lived on this hill-type thing and we were SET. Only thing to worry about was power outages. And having no water. But nothing ELSE. No flooding and no my-house-getting-blown-away. No, sir. We looked FORWARD to hurricanes (meaning us kids) because it meant no school. Except for the whole no Nintendo thing.
And then we moved here and hurricanes came in 2004 and I was scared of hurricanes for the first time. This was because our house was NOT made of the sturdiest of cements at all (in fact, a lot of times I wonder if our walls are made of cardboard), and I had no clue if this area flooded or not. My fortress was GONE, y'all! So, yeah, I was freaked out when Charley came, but we prepared as best we could and our house was strong and withstood not only Charley's might but also Frances's and Jeanne's. And I was once again not afraid of hurricanes. Now I knew I could count on my new house just as I could count on my old one.
But here comes auntie FAY. And I'm all, "Don't worry, guys. I can tell this one is just lame." Because tropical storms usually are. I can't remember the last tropical storm I, or anyone I know, batted an eyelash at. It's like...some normal rainy days are worse than tropical storms. And yet...I was playing with fire by underestimating this storm. Who was I to minimize this storm that had flooded a junkload of houses? It's like...Jurassic Park or something. We never had control and that's why the ice cream tasted so good, Ellie. That's what that scene was about, right? Spared no expense?
The point is that Fay finally came to my area and it rained all day and it winded and stuff. All was fine till I go to the kitchen to get me some of those Lays chips I saw the other day in the pantry when all of a sudden...my foot is wet. "Lo! What's THIS?" says I, and I turn on the light and look at the ceiling and there is a weird small WETNESS on it. It's nothing terrible but it's still there and it can't be good and I am just APPALLED. MY HOUSE IS LEAKING? FROM A TROPICAL STORM? I had to put my hand over my heart. I mean, all my friends back home would laugh. I'd never live it down. "Her roof leaked...FROM A TROPICAL STORM LOLOLOL!!" Yeah. I could never go to the class reunion.
Anyway, I woke dad up all like "OMG DAD I THINK THE STORM ATE OUR ROOF QUICK GET TOTO" and he was like "!?!?!" just as I was because, it is a TROPICAL STORM. And so, he went up to the attic to check it out and I still don't know what it was cause he didn't give me details but he put some towels on the thing and says it should be fine. The ceiling's already drying off, even, and it's not leaking anymore or anything, but that was still some WEIRD JANK that I do not approve of. Luckily, it was just that side.
Now, let me tell you this. Earlier in the day, I found a baby lizard on the wall next to the front door. I'm all freaking out because I don't like reptiles or amphibians or whatever lizards are (actually, I don't like reptiles or amphibians anyway, I think). I call my brother over to kill it or get it out or whatever. My brother's one of those don't-kill-anything people, so he doesn't want to kill it. I tell him I don't care what he does with it as long as it is out of my house. He tries to get it outside and pretty much succeeds. I tell him to shut the door quick, but the stupid lizard tries to come back in as he does it and...kind of dies in the process. My brother gets mad at me for telling him to shut the door so fast. A life was lost.
What I'm trying to say is, that lizard CURSED ME somehow. And made our roof leak. >.< And that is why I don't like lizards. Because they...make your roof leak. I've always known this to be true and it has just been proven. I think it's rude of the lizard, though. I don't break into lizard homes and then curse lizards when they snap me in half by shutting the door. No. In those cases, I just die peacefully yet painfully.
The point of all this is that you should always root for the underdog and not underestimate them because they will make your roof leak and then you will look dumb in front of all your friends. This is just like David and Goliath. And I was Fay's 5'2" Goliath. And she threw a rock at my forehead and it hurt.
I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, FAY! Just take your people and GO! >_< You're FREE!